Oh how I wish I could hold you right now😢 #myhealer #myStinky https://www.instagram.com/p/B-LfM9ghvbF/?igshid=hlyju8mwddoo
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@devora72
Oh how I wish I could hold you right now😢 #myhealer #myStinky https://www.instagram.com/p/B-LfM9ghvbF/?igshid=hlyju8mwddoo

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All I need is my traveling Maui and my Instant Pot!😂 @maui_woweeee #instantpot #travelnecessities #Chicagobound #readyforsnow ❄️ #justyouandI @rudyrico69 ❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/BsQsIDaBDaK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1oceph4l4ttjz
Maui my travel buddy. He ‘s done amazingly well on his first flight! ❤️#chihuahuasofinstagram #chihuahuaoftheday #sleepypuppy #longhairchihuahua (at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport (Sea-Tac)) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqNnBuVBCgD/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=pkvsj6kmg6pq
Maui my travel buddy. He ‘s done amazingly well on his first flight! ❤️#chihuahuasofinstagram #chihuahuaoftheday #sleepypuppy #longhairchihuahua (at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport (Sea-Tac)) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqNnBuVBCgD/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7o4vtfm9wpey
Our new baby, meet Maui!

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Forever My Angel
A thoughtful Gift from my daughter in love. She gave it to me in the car at the airport the night we arrived. When I saw it my heart sank and I immediately began to cry. It’s just so hard. But, it is beautiful and I love it. My Stinky is a doggie angel somewhere in heaven.
Butterflies
What is going on?! I am flying home tomorrow and taking my Stinky with me. I woke up extremely emotional and have butterflies and sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach! I never get this bad when I travel. I rather enjoy the whole process. Plus I am taking my mother with me so super excited! And best of all I get to see my husband after all these weeks. I feel like when I see him I will just take a deep breath and let everything go. He better catch me! I never thought I would be going back without my pup. These waves of pain and sadness are brutal.
Waves of Pain
The pain comes in waves and I never really know when it’s coming or how long it will last. I opened the door to my daughter’s room and there she sat crying hysterically. Feeling guilty wishing things were different. I’m not ready to relive the details of that night. But what she did and what she went thru trying to save our Stinky was beyond traumatizing. It is a night I wish I could erase from her memory. It tears me up inside to see my child so distraught and broken. God please heal our spirit.
First Day We Met
In 2014 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and UCTD an undifferentiated connective tissue disorder. I also have several issues with my back and spine. Sept 29, 2015 after physical therapy my husband picked me up and as I got in the truck I noticed this tiny little stinker on the center console! It was my little Stinky. He was tiny and cute but all I could think about was how much pain I was in and how much more work I would have with a second dog. I felt I already wasn’t paying enough attention to our Bud. I couldn’t walk him much because of my back pain and it would get fibro flare ups for days when I’d over do things. “Oh no Babe what did you do?” I asked my husband. “I got him to help you heal and get thru this.” My husband would take me to Dr appts 2-3 times a week. He stepped up and cooked and cleaned and did what he could physically to help me. He knew I needed something else, something more than what medications would provide temporarily. I needed something to help my spirit. Looking back at things now, I realize Stinky did just that. He got me out of my room more daily. He demanded love and attention over the years even if I wasn’t up to it. And when I was having really bad days he would stay near me and gently lick my arms. As if to say, “I’m right here Momma, we’ll play tomorrow, you just rest.” He healed my spirit and made me stronger. I discontinued all meds and stopped needing physical therapy after 2 years. I live with daily pain, but now it’s low level 1-2 scale when it used to cripple me. My spirit aches because I cannot see or hear and feel him. But he is in my heart. I will not fall backwards and allow this disease to consume me again. Thank you Rudy for bringing him into our lives when you did. When you saw I stopped smiling and laughing. Thank you my Stinky, you did well.

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Comfort
Went to Bath and Body Works yesterday to get a nice scented candle to have next to Stinky’s little memory shrine. I fell in love with this Comfort scent which consists of vanilla and patchouli. Now I am not big on aromatherapy and essential oils but when I inhaled this I swear I was transformed! I immediately felt a calmness and sense of peace. What the heck?! I had to have it! I’m also not a fan of paying $25 for a candle!!! Good thing it was half off. I came home and lit it for about an hour then went to bed. I had the best sleep I’ve have in weeks! The scent is still lingering this morning and I feel so refreshed. Hmmmm.... there just might be something to this.
Blue Suede Shoes
He was always down to try new things to make me happy. My cutie patootie.
Dragonflies
Sunday morning after our Stinky passed, I took our Bud, who is also a long hair chihuahua, outside. As I came around the corner to where both do there business, I was followed and swarmed by dragonflies! Maybe 10 or more. I felt immediate comfort! I truly believe it was our precious Stinky telling me he was ok and not to worry any more. I would walk away and they would dive close to me and just linger. There was a calmness and peace that came over me. It was the most amazing thing. Even Bud who usually jumps up at anything just stood and watched. We stood there a good five minutes with the dragonflies and then watched them fly away. My heart is heavy with thoughts of what if and I know I’ll never get answers I seek. He will not be scoffing at me when he’s irrated. He will not come running when I ask if he wants a treat. He will not be with me on the beach when we go home to Hawaii. But with this sign I know in my heart that he telling me, “Momma don’t be sad Momma I’m ok.” I miss him like crazy and it hurts like hell. This morning as Bud and I came outside again we were created by dragonflies. Only this time I said, “Hi my baby Stinky, are you doing ok?” They danced with us for a bit then flew away.
I’m lost without our Stinky 😢 Mornings are the hardest.😭 #timewillheal #petloss #petlossofinstagram #petlosssupport #chihuahuasofinstagram #chihuahua_feature #chihuahuafanatics 🐶 https://www.instagram.com/p/BnEMYG6H6mP/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=wwl9g92uz4uc
Beautiful Day
Took Bud outside this morning and it’s a beautiful day! The stormy, rainy weather has passed. No more gray clouds. Only sunshine and birds chirping away. My Stinky must’ve found Heaven’s beach.

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Our Dog Stinky Passed
We lost our 3 year old chihuahua Sunday August 26. It all happened so fast. He died in my daughters arms as we rushed him to the hospital. We are torn. I keep thinking if we’d only takin him sooner or if the animal hospital wasn’t 50 miles away etc etc. So many thoughts in my head. I will go into detail when I find the strength and can stop crying some. I just had to start somewhere. Rest in Love my little Stinky. Momma loves you.