I said what I said

- having a job to save money for next year

- having my licence to gain independence

- having a boyfriend and making him a part of my life

- graduating

So far nonenof these are going well. I lost my job and haven't found another one yet, my bank accounts slowly running dry and I can't find another one because i don't have a licence. I still don't have my PS even though I'm nearly 18, i have to rely on other people to get me around and I'm constantly at theercy of the driver. My mother hates my boyfriend, i can't talk about him without her making me feel miserable, and I'm constantly made to feel guilty for picking him over my family. And they all refuse to acknowledge that we've been gothwr nearly a year and it's not a middle school relationship, I'm planning to spend my life with him and intertwine our lives . And yet that's never going to happen is it, because how can you intertwine your lives when you're not allowed to even say their name.

All that i have left is graduation, and quite frankly I'm not setting my hopes high, i just want to get it over and done with, i want the dissapointmwnt of my ATAR and uni applications over and the embarrassment of the graduation fanfare been and gone. I want this year over and yet I'm still so scared for it to end. Because all of these issues will still exist next year, but I'll just have more time to dwell on them, and all of them are my issues, but they're so out of my controll.

I need to get my driving hours up, but i need somebody to take me driving, and nobody wants to. I need a job, but I need somebody to employ me, and nobody wants to. I need my mum to reconsider him, but she dosent want to, and nobody's can make her.

I need to graduate, but I'm scared to take that step, and everybody's telling me to trust it.

Would you hang it,

in a tree for me?

Would you fill it with straw

For me to rest my tired possum paws?

Oh my dear,

Yes of course!

And every morning I'd leave little treats,

by the front door

I'd fill it with the finest hay,

Oil the wood, and clean it through the day.

I'd hang it on the tree,

least effected by the breeze.

If you were a possum,

I would build you a box,

Would you hang it,

in a tree for me?

Would you fill it with straw

For me to rest my tired possum paws?

Oh my dear,

Yes of course!

And every morning I'd leave little treats,

by the front door

I'd fill it with the finest hay,

Oil the wood, and clean it through the day.

I'd hang it on the tree,

least effected by the breeze.

If you were a possum,

I would build you a box,

With your, knee between my legs,

Hands on my hips, my thighs, my body

Take my shirt off,

Remind me that I am real.

Let your lips trail down my skin

kiss me where you want.

Where I need.

Lips on lips, hearts on hearts.

Hands between my legs,

Hands below your belt.

Hands anywhere I'd hate for somine to see.

Lips against my thighs,

Hands against my hips.

Sucking softly

not enough to leave a bruise

But enough

to make me feel.

Love me dearly darling

And I shall love you.

Dance to the harmony of our hearts

Hear your breath ghosting my ear.

I wanna be the one you deserve.

But I'm too scared.

Too scared to let go, to give in and to let you know

Just how much I want this,

Just how much i need it