Daniel Molloy

❝  i guess i always kinda knew?  it just wasn’t that important until i got older.  ❞

❝  it never mattered to me like,  what form people came in.  i love souls,  the body is just kinda like pretty packaging.  it’s nice but it’s not what’s important to me.  ❞

❝  oh yeah i did the whole ‘massive crush on my best friend’ thing.  wouldn’t recommend it.  ❞

❝  today my gender is kinda of ‘meeehh?’  ❞

❝  yeah of course i’m only into women,  have you seen them?  ❞

❝  i think i had a harder time accepting myself than my family ever did.  ❞

❝  i’m pretty sure everyone else knew i was gay before i ever realized it.   ❞

❝  i have a hard time talking about it,  even now—i’m not ashamed or anything like that.  i just,  don’t really know…how or what to say i guess.  ❞

❝  i think i’m ready to actually come out to them.  ❞

❝  i really want to tell them but i don’t wanna do it alone…could you help me with it?  ❞

❝  the ‘am i gay’ quizzes are a gateway drug.  ❞

❝  would you mind using [insert pronouns] for me now?  i’m trying to see how it feels.  ❞

❝  they’re right actually,  i’m gay and i do have an agenda to make everything gayer.  ❞

❝  ever since i told them i’m gay they keep pointing to every slightly attractive man and asking if he’s my type.  ❞

❝  me? no i don’t think i’m—i mean.  yeah sometimes i think about what it’d be like to kiss girls/guys but i’d never…come on,  everyone thinks about it a little bit right?  ❞

❝  at this point the closet is literally made of glass.  ❞

❝  actually,  i’m [insert identity].  ❞

❝  it’s all ‘i wish i was into women it’d be so much easier’ until you find out about the lesbian drama.  ❞

❝  i’m bisexual and confused.  not about being bi,  though.  just like…in general.  about life.  ❞

❝  i just need a nice bear to throw me around for a few hours,  i think it’d do more for me than therapy.  ❞

❝  i would trust any stone butch with my life.  ❞

❝  sappho would be so proud.  ❞

❝  i’m still figuring myself out.  i know i’m not straight,  that’s a start.  ❞

❝  i finally figured out my sexuality and then boom here comes a gender identity crisis.  ❞

❝  i’ve just…never really been interested in the whole sex thing.  ❞

❝  anyway,  if neither of us find our true loves in the next five to ten years,  wanna have a lavender marriage?  for the taxes.  ❞

❝   you wanna come to pride with me?  ❞

❝   this is my first pride actually,  i’m kinda nervous.  ❞

❝   well,  this seems as good a time as any to come out.  ❞

❝  no one can know about this—it’s just between us okay?  ❞

❝  i’d never tell anyone.  ❞

❝  you don’t owe anyone ‘coming out.’  it’s personal,  do things at your own pace.  only tell the people you want to.  ❞

❝  you’ve always made me feel safe so,  i just knew i could tell you about it.  ❞

❝  everyone’s hot and i’m a disaster who doesn’t know how to ask anyone out.  ❞

❝  i’m not sure i wanna fuck them or be them.  ❞

❝  i’m just experimenting i guess,  trying to figure out what i like.  ❞

❝  she said she didn’t see us working out but then she brought me a potted plant so i guess it’s still up in the air.  ❞

❝  i want to be one of those bold,  unapologetic people but i’m still just terrified.  ❞

❝  she’s so pretty i think i’m gonna die.  ❞

❝  oh,  no he’s got a great smile too.  i’m in deep this time.  ❞

❝  how did you know?   like for sure that you were into [gender]?  ❞

❝  do you mind if i ask you a question about being [identity]?  ❞

❝  thank you for trusting me with this.  ❞

❝  it’s okay,  take your time to put it into the right words.  i’m not going anywhere.  ❞

❝  wait,  you think i’m [identity]?  what makes you say that?  ❞

“You knew he was a predatory psychopath.”

🎉 Pilot Anniversary Event: Day One

dialogue.

wait ... that's it? i've waited all this time for you and i only get a peck?

if i don't move away from you right now, i might just kiss you.

do you mind helping me with the back zipper ...?

this is never gonna happen, is it?

let's not keep wasting each other's time.

so ... are we just gonna eye-fuck all night or actually do something about this?

you have a crush on me?

do you or do you not love me? i need to know.

were you ever going to tell me?

i've been in love with you for as long as i can remember.

i never thought this would happen ... you've always been just out of my reach.

i can't wait anymore for you to open your eyes and realize i've been here all along.

why do you keep staring at my lips ...?

concepts.

hover. sender is standing so close to receiver that their lips are inches away. both are acutely aware that they keep staring at one another's lips and then eyes. does someone make a move?

at last. sender and receiver finally share their first kiss after an accidental confession of longterm feelings and it being reciprocated.

love note. sender sends receiver a letter confessing how they feel. how does receiver respond?

love in the rain. after a dramatic exchange between sender and receiver that ends with a deep kiss ruined by sudden pouring rain, receiver drags sender indoors to continue where they left off.

the zipper. sender asks receiver to help them with a zipper that's gotten stuck or is out of reach. the tension between the pair is high while receiver attempts to help.

"Feel this? It's just for you."

"Let's ruin ourselves for anyone else."

"I want to taste you so badly."

"Make me beg for it."

"Oh I can do this all night long."

"You surprise me every day."

"Let's find out how much you want it."

"Kiss me, I can't wait any longer."

"Come on, please, do it."

"Oh, you like that?"

"Hmm, you're not very patient, are you?"

"Well, let's see what happens tonight."

"Can you kiss it better?"

"Oh, you're hard to please."

"I had a very nice dream that started like this."

"You are so amazing, please never stop."

"Can you be good for me?"

"It's so hot when you talk like that."

"Stop teasing me and do it!"

"You're still holding back, just let go."

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

❛  always be proud of who you are.  ❜ ❛  i'm not going to change who i am just because some people don't like my sexuality.  ❜ ❛  are you planning how to come out to your family?  ❜ ❛  i don't want to hide who i am anymore.  ❜ ❛  if that's how you truly feel then i'm okay with it. as long as you're happy, i'm happy.  ❜ ❛  can you tell me more about being [ gay / bisexual / trans / etc. ]?  ❜ ❛  we shouldn't be shamed for who we are.  ❜ ❛  there's nothing wrong with you. it's society as a whole that's wrong.  ❜ ❛  my coming out didn't go as planned ...  ❜ ❛  i've always felt like i didn't fit in but now i know it's only because i repressed who i really am.  ❜ ❛  just be yourself, and don't give a damn what anyone else may think.  ❜ ❛  i can finally be myself!  ❜ ❛  you don't have to hide who you are with me. i love you no matter what.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to label yourself if you don't want to or don't feel like you haven't found the right one yet.  ❜ ❛  want to come to the pride parade with me?  ❜ ❛  when did you figure out you're [ lesbian / ace / nonbinary / etc. ]?  ❜ ❛  it's terrible having to choose between being yourself and being safe.  ❜ ❛  people should remember that it doesn't matter what we identify as because we're all human deep down.  ❜ ❛  remember how everyone had their weird phases as a teenager? being straight was mine.  ❜ ❛  well, apparently i didn't have to come out since everyone apart from me always knew i'm not straight.  ❜ ❛  this is the first pride month i can finally be myself.  ❜ ❛  have you ever been at pride?  ❜ ❛  i wish my family would be as understanding as you are.  ❜ ❛  it's time to stop pretending you're something you're not.  ❜ ❛  as long as you're happy does it really matter who you fall in love with?  ❜ ❛  why do strangers care so much about my personal life and think they can judge me for something i literally cannot control?  ❜ ❛  you don't have to have figured it all out yet. you've still got your whole life ahead of you to do that.  ❜ ❛  well ... being straight is boring anyway, isn't it?  ❜ ❛  do you have any tips about coming out to people?  ❜ ❛  it feels good to talk to someone who understands me.  ❜ ❛  i accept you the way you are, you don't have to pretend with me.  ❜ ❛  it feels so good to stop pretending.  ❜ ❛  look, i bought a pride flag!  ❜ ❛  how did your coming out go?  ❜ ❛  what are your pronouns?  ❜ ❛  they're assholes if they don't accept you for who you are. you're awesome!  ❜ ❛  hey, do you mind using [ pronoun / pronoun ] for me now? i'm trying to figure something out.  ❜ ❛  today, i'm finally going to legally change my documents.  ❜ ❛  i don't understand much about lgbtq but i'm willing to learn.  ❜ ❛  you deserve to be loved just the way you are.  ❜

The dreams.

Statues.

The King. The Queen. One of them was coming but he didn't yet know who. Lestat was waking something. The witches and seers of The Talamasca were up in a frenzy.

"I called you here to offer you some semblance of protection and not just a story. But perhaps we should start with the beginning."

And so, he started talking.

"Something is coming and after my story I'm hoping I can get you to accept my help. We've both been pulled into this and we should stick together."

He shifted in his seat as he thought of where to begin now.

"I'll start truly speaking with the violin. My life did not truly start until then. As you know now, my father was a merchant. I was sent into Paris to study law. I was expected to become a lawyer. I detested it. I hated it with a powerful passion. But then I came across the players on the streets, in the theaters, and everywhere I went I could hear the sound of violin. It spoke to me in a way nothing ever had before."

He closed his eyes as he hummed the first tune he had ever heard on violin.

Daniel rubbed his eyes and started jolting notes again, his growing frustration really evident. "I would prefer if we just focused on this interview that I have been tasked with completing as Kerrang will be out for my blood if I bring them in vague ramblings of ancient things when they expect a centrefold story of Nicky Vail"

Daniel listened.

Not politely — professionally. The way a man listens when he’s trying to decide whether the person across from him is a prophet, a lunatic, or something far more dangerous.Daniel’s pen hovered again, but this time he didn’t write. He watched Nicky’s face, the way memory softened it, the way dread sharpened it again when he spoke of ancient hungers and waking kings.

"Protection-" Daniel repeated, quietly. "That’s a hell of a word to use on a journalist you’ve known for—what—forty minutes?"He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, the recorder between them like a third presence.

"You’re talking about something big. Bigger than vampires, bigger than the Talamasca, bigger than whatever the hell you think Lestat is stirring up. And you’re telling me you were brought back for it?But you’re also telling me you called me."

He let that sit. Let Nicky feel the weight of it.

"Look, I’ve had my share of visions, nightmares, psychic bleed‑through, whatever label you want to slap on it. I’ve seen things I can’t explain. But I’m not a witch, I’m not a seer, and I’m not a soldier in some ancient blood war. So if you want me to take your warning seriously, you need to tell me why the hell I matter."

He flipped to a clean page in his notebook.

"And don’t give me the poetic answer. Give me the real one."

Daniel let the silence stretch, then softened it with something almost wry.

"You said your life started with the violin. Fine. But you’re not a street player now. You’re not a law student sneaking into theaters. You’re… what? A reincarnated Renaissance musician with a Spotify presence?"

A faint smirk tugged at his mouth.

"Tell me about the band."

He tapped his pen against the page.

"Who found you? Who plays with you? What’s the sound and don’t tell me it’s just a hobby"His gaze sharpened again, the smirk fading.

"Music was the beginning for you. So what is it now? A cover? A calling? A warning system? Or is it the only thing that still feels like yours after being dragged back into a world that shouldn’t have you?"

Daniel leaned back, recorder still running, voice low and steady.

Billy listened to every word come out of Daniels mouth and his brows rose. So he was a journalist. It wasn't the first time Billy had ever been approached by a journalist who wanted his story. He had never given his side of things before but now maybe he had the chance to do it to someone who seemed genuinely interested. He wasn't entirely sure. Sidney gave her side plenty, maybe it was his turn surely people would be curious to get the killers side of things.

He took the card and put it in his front pocket of his flannel and smirked. " Im not going to agree to an interview yet. I need some time to consider it but If you're offering that pretty mouth of yours, that has my attention." He grinned and held up his glass. " Cheers." He nodded and down the liquor, letting the burn go down his throat. " I've never given an interview before that wasn't for the cops when I got caught."

"I would call you a fool if you just agreed. Look me up, vet my work, speak to my references and figure out if you think I am the right person to put your story forward, and it would be your story. Final say on everything. You, me and a cassette recorder...but do look me up. I have a particular style to get to the bottom of things, some say I bring sledgehammers to meticulously constructed walls and not everyone can handle it" Daniel raised the fingers around his glass defensively. "I put a lot of effort to track you down, it would be a lot of time wasted if I just intended to fuck you over."

"Fuck you. Yes. Fuck you over...not my style of reckless" And he was plenty reckless, heck he was drinking at a bar flirting with a serial killer, some would call that a death wish but Daniel never ran away from the few things that still felt like a thrill.

"Now the professional part is done.." Daniel clinked his glass against Billy's. "Just us, two strangers at a bar that are going to leave as not quite strangers. And don't even think it's a ploy to get a story, I'm just easy." It wasn't a ploy to get him to lower his defences down, Daniel did a lot of things to chase a story but sex was not one of them...although he had interviewed a fair few lovers, suppose people he found fascinating enough to take to bed also fascinated him as people.

Things were different now, even if they cuddled like they used to. Being with a mortal was different. Armand mourned Daniel’s mortality more than he should. He mourned the young, bright reporter with soft and warm skin, but Armand also reflected enough to know that it wouldn’t make any sense to mourn what he lost and rather embrace what he gained. Daniel was back, his mind recovering but not fully recovered yet. Realistically, Armand was aware that it would take several more decades for Daniel to be fully himself again. Or maybe, he will never be himself again. Only time will tell. Gently, Armand caressed Daniel’s chest and moved his lean, long fingers down to slip under his shirt, just enough that he could caress the other’s side on his skin.

“He wanted to know how we met and what our history was like. They know you are my fledgling, but I couldn’t talk about you. The pain was too great,” he admitted, his voice so much softer than it usually was. Bloodsharing was intimate like nothing else, and the bliss from the height of the moment has not left Armand’s body just yet. And knowing that Daniel was not opposed to meeting Benji and Sybelle one day added to this wave of relief Armand felt spreading inside of him. “I sat together with all three of them after I came back to Trinity Gate and told them about our conversation and that we want to go back to Night Island to figure things out. To figure us out. Louis said it is a bad idea. We had long discussions over it because he thinks that you and I are not good for each other right now, that you still need time to recover, and that I am a bad trigger for you. He called us foolish a few times.” And maybe Louis was right at the end, but Armand didn’t want to listen to him. Not this time. At least this one time, he didn’t want to be the overthinker. “But he eventually agreed on taking care of Sybelle and Benji to give us time to…figure things out.”

And with that, he fell silent to listen to Daniel. Now that he no longer had access to Daniel’s thoughts, it was even more important for Armand to listen to the things his fledgling was willing to share. And it didn’t sound very good. Armand felt worry taking over him. Maybe Louis had been right all along? But the way Daniel described things made it easier for Armand to understand how this turmoil in the younger vampire’s head felt. And it was gruesome. Armand considered the mind to be the strongest weapon to have, hence why his Mind Gift was so advanced and trained. But Daniel no longer had that. Was he even able to use the Mind Gift when he was this vulnerable? “Is there something I can do to help?” he asked suddenly. “I know, I’ve been controlling during your mortal days. Even during the beginning of our immortal companionship. But I figured that I cannot—” He stopped to find the right words. “It wouldn’t be wise to pick up where we left off. So I will not take control, unless you want me to monitor certain aspects to help you.” It was a huge thing for Armand to say and to offer. His controlling tendencies were still there. They were gnawing on him more than he wanted to admit, but thanks to Sybelle and Benji, Armand also learned to let go a little.

“I didn’t do much out of the ordinary. Maybe we all wait for another Lestat-messes-up-moment secretly. But my days were dull. I went out hunting with them. Benji does a little vampire podcast to inform our kind of recent news. Sybelle plays the piano most of the time. And I? Well, I handle finances, Trinity Gate is a gathering place for vampires, so I organize that. I play chess often. With Louis or any other vampire who stops by. But it is…dull…”

His life hasn’t been dull with mortal Daniel by his side. Maybe that’s why everything felt so monotone now. Was it the old age that made Armand feel that way? He never got tired of his routines, but something changed after he went into the sun. Maybe he became calmer? He nuzzled his nose against Daniel’s neck for a little while, even though he couldn’t smell anything. Armand didn’t smell like anything either; no matter how much he loved his coconut body sprays, he hadn’t used those in a long time.

Silence fell over Armand for a while as he thought about Daniel’s question. He never really thought about a label, but he understood that Daniel needed such a thing. “To me? Hm…Family. They are family to me. Sybelle feels like a little sister. Benji…sometimes like a brother, sometimes I feel like his father. But I would say a sibling bond describes my love for them the best. I wanted to protect them when I met them for the first time. But for you, I wish that the three of you will become friends one day. You will like Benji’s loud mouth and his curiosity. Sybelle is calmer.” Armand reached for Daniel’s hand to pull it close to his lips until Armand could place a kiss on those knuckles. Armand’s fingers still looked even thinner when they held Daniel’s hand. Maybe some things never change. “If we work out and we decide to stay on Night Island, we should give Sybelle and Benji the choice to either live with us or stay at Trinity Gate. In case you all get along. In case we want to stay on Night Island. We will see about that. But I hope, I hope that we rekindle our flame. But you need to be patient with me as well, Beloved. It still feels foreign that I cannot hear your thoughts anymore. It makes me overthink, it makes me worry that you hate me.”

His vices would take his life...had Armand not given him the Dark Gift Daniel would have died a vagabond back in San Francisco, back where it all begun, the ouroboros eating it's tail completing the circle. So by Daniel's account...they only got back together once so what did Louis know. "What does Louis really know about love anyway. Did he ever really love Lestat the way Lestat needed to be loved? Doubt it. I loved you with my entire heart and soul, every fibre of my being had your name. I loved you when it was the hardest thing to do, I love you more than I hate myself." And Daniel was so full of self loathing. His arms hold Armand tighter. "Foolish. He's foolish...and that's me being very nice and not calling him worse things"

"Yes, you can be patient. You can be empathetic and understanding that my mind isn't all there. That I struggle to think straight…and when I hesitate to answer it might not be evasion but my mind blanking out. I want us to be together Armand...I want you. God, I never wanted anything more than to get you back. And I was gonna punch through that wall and smack the Catholic Jesus out of Louis when I thought..." Daniel trailed off. "Good thing you clarified, I would have hated Sybi and Benji's first impression of me being hysterically whacking Louis to keep his grubby mits of my man."

"I struggle to remember the passage of days. You can help with that...somehow. I don't know how, I guess happy Thursday Daniel. Let's conquer this Tuesday....it certainly feels like a Friday." Days merged into one and the sleep cycle did not add a pause in his mind of one day ending and the other starting.

"Playing chess with random vampires sounds very dull you're right. Not like when we played chess. Strip chess is so much better…the stakes being higher make the game" They played strip chess just once and it was pointless as neither of them normally had many qualms about undressing for their lover.

"I will be patient with you. I know...I know you worry yourself sick thinking a thousand scenarios a minute but trust me...you are lucky that you don't hear my mind. You would be more confused and lost than if I just told you. Maybe we should try to do affirmations." the younger vampire was squeezing Armand so tight that had he been human he would have vomited from the pressure...and now Daniel realised he would loosen his grasp on him.

"I think that's a good idea. If they love you they should be given the choice to stay with you. I'll play nice. Anything for you baby boy." he kissed Armand's temples. "Share a coffin with me tonight? Snuggle me in?" Soft little peppered kisses on Armand's temple. "I wish we had more time back then to enjoy our honeymoon. All the things we never got to do...like jump of a boat and try to swim with sunfish at midnight" That Halloween in San Francisco was supposed to be the start of the next chapter, vampire grooms together at last...and so many things Daniel had wanted to do...all put on halt when the end of their species seemed to come.

But couldn’t Daniel see that Armand was serious about the things he said about his inevitable end? No, it was not a saying to blackmail his mortal lover; it was a way of confirming that Armand didn’t plan on taking a new lover after his one, true love dies. “Why would the prospect of knowing that I will not take a new lover after you be a fuck you? Isn’t that your main argument? That I will replace you even though I have no plans on doing so.”

Elegantly and without a sound, Armand got up from his seat. He watched Daniel move to the window. His gaze darkened just a little as his mind processed the little threat that Daniel could go to another vampire. Lestat probably. It wouldn’t come as a surprise, and yet, Armand wouldn’t allow himself to explore this thought any further.

“But you are my companion, Daniel. Are we not in a relationship?!” Certainly, Armand knew what Daniel meant, and yet, he pretended not to. Daniel wanted immortality, just like Amadeo so many centuries ago. And it scared Armand. It scared him more than he could ever admit. Silently, he closed the distance between them. His arms wrapped around Daniel’s middle from behind while the vampire’s cold, firm body pressed against the warm back whether Daniel wanted or not. Unnaturally coloured eyes closed as he inhaled Daniel’s scent to calm himself down.

“Nonsense. Do you really think I like it when you are sick? I don’t. I don’t like it that I can cause you harm so easily. But yes, I like your warmth. I like the way your heart beats because I know it beats for me. I like the way you smell, I like the way you breathe, the way you snore, I like watching you eat. But my love for you would not die with your mortality.” Armand didn’t want to believe that. If Daniel were to stay the same as a vampire, it would be enough for Armand to be happy. “I love your sharp mind and that you keep me on my toes. I love the impudent boy who told me to keep my hand on the cart at Walmart. I love the man you are, Daniel. You are perfect. To me, you are perfect inside out. And I am scared. Here, you have it. I am scared. What if my blood is defective? Can we both overcome the knowledge that it was me who killed you? Could you stand the thought of having to kill me?”

"See, that’s the thing-" he said, exhaling smoke toward the glass. "You keep talking like this is some tragic vow. Like you’re Romeo on the balcony swearing you’ll die if I die but that’s not what I’m hearing. What I’m hearing is that you’ve already decided the ending. You’ve already written the last chapter without asking me if I want to read it."

He finally turned his head, just enough to look at Armand over his shoulder. His eyes were tired, furious, and heartbreakingly clear.

"And don’t twist this into some poetic declaration of loyalty. You know damn well why it sounds like a fuck you. Because you’re not saying ‘I won’t take another lover.’ You’re saying ‘I won’t survive you.’ You’re You’re saying ‘your death will be my punishment.’"

He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping him.

"You think that’s comforting? You think that’s love? That’s a curse, Armand. That’s a chain. That’s you putting the weight of your entire existence on my shoulders and calling it devotion."

Daniel stubbed the cigarette out on the sill, hard.

"I’m not a boy in a palazzo with no doors,if you keep refusing me the one thing I’ve asked for—really asked for, not hinted at, not flirted around—I will have to make choices you won’t like. Because I’m not going to sit here and rot while you decide whether your abandonment trauma gets to dictate my life. I am sorry he sucked, okay? I am sorry that he gave you the Dark Gift and things got really shitty-" Daniel did not know exactly the depths of shitty.

He turned fully now freeing himself from Armand's grasp leaning back against the window, arms crossed.

"You say you’re scared your blood is defective. Fine. I get that. I do. But you’re not scared of killing me. You’re scared of losing the version of me that makes you feel safe. The warm one. The breakable one. The one who needs you."His voice softened—not gentle, but honest.

"I’m not asking you to stop loving those things. I’m asking you to admit that you do. Because until you do, we’re not having the same conversation."

He stepped closer, close enough that Armand could feel the heat rolling off him.

"You want to know if I could stand the thought of having to kill you? I already live with the thought that you could kill me by accident. Or by hunger. Or by one bad night. Or by one bad memory. I’ve lived with that since the day I met you....I’m not scared of dying by your hand. I’m scared of dying without you. I’m scared of dying while you stand there telling yourself you’re protecting me."

"I don’t want to be your fragile thing. I want to be your equal. And if you can’t give me that—if you can’t even talk about giving me that—then yeah, one day you’re going to wake up and there won’t be any love left. Not because I stopped loving you. But because you refused to see me."

He swallowed, eyes burning but dry.