cold feeling

A small yet gentle smile lifted her lips upon the last words he spoke. She lifted her self off the ground && waled over to where he was, sitting down in front of him before leaning close && wrapping her arms around his neck. Chin rested on his shoulder as her crying ceased slightly. She nudged herself into his neck, hugging tighter as she let out a deep sigh.

🌸 — ❝You are the good person I see you as, you may not think it but I promise you, you are. You are so much  more than you believe. You are so important to me & someone I care for deeply. If I didn’t see you as I do I wouldn’t love you as much as I do. You’ve helped me so many times, Noe. You have never hurt me even if I’m crying now it’s not because you hurt me or anything like that, I am crying for you. Crying because I want you to live, to see what a wonderful life this world can bring us.❝

She pulled away to cup his face in her small hands, her smile never faltering as she rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes as she spoke once more.

🌸 — ❝You may have given up on your dreams but we’re both still young, you still have time to figure out what your dreams are. Take them one step at a time, little by little. I’ll be there with you as well. For now it could be to keep trying.❝

As long as he tried to live, Chiharu would be happy, as long as she knew how he felt no matter good or bad she would happy. She just wanted to be there for him

      This time when she spoke, he really felt how tears were gathering in his eyes and if he would blink, he would for sure start crying even more. He was amazed how big affect her words had on him. He knew his feelings were already very strong towards her, he had never felt this strongly about anybody, but he didn’t know she could actually make him burst into tears like this.

      He usually felt ashamed even when crying alone, but right now, he felt relaxed, he felt like no matter what he would do right now, it wouldn’t hurt anyone. It wouldn’t make anyone feel bad. 

      He carefully raised up his arms a little and wrapped them around her body and let out a small sob. 

      It was hard for someone like him to understand that someone could actually care this much, so of course he would question did she really mean what she said, but because it was her, it was Chiharu, the girl he really loved, he wouldn’t have to question it even for a second.

      “I... I’m speechless, Chiharu, I don’t know what to say. No matter what I say, it’s not going to sounds right, but I wanna,--”he paused, he had to take a deep breath before saying it. “I wanna t-thank you,”he felt more droplets falling down.

      “I.. I promise to keep trying. I wanna keep trying, Chiharu, I truly wanna do that. -- I will be trying to run towards a better future. I hope... in the future I can be happy.”

♠: Full name?

≈: Mun nickname

♫: What's your gender?

☼: How old are you?

╪: What country are you from?

Ω: Show your face!

☮: How long have you been rp'ing?

♥: What fandoms are you in?

♡: Your favourite film, book and television series.

♦: Relationship status?

♣: Song you're listening to right now?

§: Favourite song?

Send “You could have been killed!” for my muse’s reaction.

      “That’s not true,”he mumbled against his hand as he wiped of the dust. He knew it had been dangerous to take the shorter path, but it had been so really cold, he couldn’t have walked the longer one – the one that he normally chose. Now his face was full of bruises, he had been punched in the face a few times. 

"Are you crazy?”

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Are you even listening to yourself?"

"Are you sure they won’t find out?”

"Are you sure this is legal?”

"Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

"Are you threatening me?"

"Be mine."

"Can you be anymore obvious?"

"Do I know you?"

"Do you love me?"

"Do you remember this?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Don’t go."

"Don’t let me die"

"Don’t look at me like that."

"Don’t make me beg.”

"Don’t you dare come near me!"

"Don’t you dare."

"Explain yourself."

"For you, I would _____"

"Give it back."

"Give me another chance."

"Have you ever even done this before?"

"How drunk are you right now?"

"I already regret this."

"I am not wearing that.”

"I can’t believe you missed that."

"I can’t do this anymore."

"I can’t even look at you."

"I could kill you!"

"I dare you." or "I dare you to _____."

"I didn’t do it.""

"I didn’t know you could do that."

"I don’t want to look at you right now.”

"I guess this is goodbye.”

"I hate you."

"I have to go."

"I just want to cuddle."

"I know your secret.”

"I love you, but I really wish I didn’t.”

"I love you."

"I miss you so very much."

"I missed you."

"I need a drink."

"I need a hug."

"I never really loved you."

"I owe you."

"I think I broke it."

"I think I’m falling in love with you. "

"I think I’m forgetting something."

"I think it’s broken.”

"I trust you."

"I want to be yours."

"I want to try this thing I read in a book.”

"I want you. Naked. In my bed. Now."

"I’ll be there in five minutes.”



”This is really inappropriate.”

"I’m all for spicing thing’s up, but isn’t this a bit much?”

"I’m bad for you.”

"I’m dying."

"I’m going to be sick."

"I’m not speaking to you anymore."

"I’m pregnant and it’s yours."

"I’ve never heard that one before."

"If you stay quiet, no one will know.”

"Is that my shirt?"

"It was me"

"It’s so beautiful.”

"It’s time to choose.”

"Just five more minutes."

"Just go."

"Just leave me alone."

"Just let me die."

"Just relax."

"Just what did we do last night?"

"Kiss me you idiot."

"Kiss me."

"Like you even care."

"Little too late, don't you think?"

"Make me."

"Marry me?"

"My Parents don’t know"

"My parents know.""

"Never again."

"Nh, don’t be so rough!"

"No! You can’t die on me now!"

"Obviously there is something between us."

"Of all the things i've heard, that hurt the most."

"Put it away.”

"Put your trousers on!"

"Put. The. Weapon. Down."

"Quiet, I am trying to think."

"Relax, I have a plan."

"Really?"

"Shut up and listen."

"Take responsibility."

"That isn’t mine."

"That looked easier on TV."

"That sounds painful."

"That was a bad plan."

"That’s mine!”

"That’s the cheesiest pickup line I’ve ever heard."

"They’re coming.”

"This seems familiar."

"This stays between us."

"Truth hurts, don’t it?"

"Unbelievable. I can't believe you right now."

"Very good, you had me fooled."

"Want to hear a secret?"

"We need to talk."

"We’re moving too fast.”

"Well that was unexpected."

"What are we doing here?"

"What are you afraid of?"

"What are you touching?"

"What are you?"

"What do you need?"

"What happened to you?"

"What have I done this time?"

"What if someone catches us?”

"What sort of noise was that?”

"What the hell do you think you’re doing?"

"What were you thinking?"

"Where are my clothes?"

"Where did you find this?"

"Where do you even find this sort of thing?”

"Where were you?"

"Who’d have guessed you could pull such a face?”

"Why are you wearing that?"

"Why yes, I am as think as you drunk I am."

"You could have died!”

"You could have killed someone!"

"You coward."

"You don’t need to be so gentle.”

"You drive me crazy!"

"You have ten minutes, so make it quick.”

"You lied to me!"

"You mean everything to me."

"You owe me."

"You. Come. Snuggle. NOW!"

"You’re all out of ____."

"You’re an idiot.”

"You’re bad for me.”

"You’re dead to me."

"You’re really good at this…”

"You’re so weird.""

🌸 — ❝Of course it hurts, you idiot! You’re thinking such horrible things, things you shouldn’t be thinking. You’re too good of a person to believe such things or want to kill yourself. It’s terrible! There are people out there who care for you & wouldn’t want you to leave! I’m one of them, dammit!❝

For once in her life, Chiharu had actually yelled at someone && cussed. It was a rare sight from the female but she couldn’t help it. She began to hiccup from crying so much && so hard. She ended finding herself on the floor as she cried even harder.

🌸 — ❝You should’ve told me, Noe. I wouldn’t have been mad or anything, if anything, it would’ve been good for you instead of keeping it all to yourself! I want to know how you’re feeling, even if it’s not the good things. I want to be there for you, & most importantly I want you to live. But not for me but yourself, there’s so many wonderful things in this world you haven’t seen yet, so please if you ever feel that way tell me & please live.❝

Her face looked like a mess as her cheeks were stained from tears && her sleeves were completely soaked, she hadn’t cried so hard in her life but she couldn’t help it. Someone she loved so much thought so negatively && she hated that, so, so, so much.

There he was, just standing and looking down. His heart was being stabbed thousands of times. He never wanted her to know about his thoughts. No one knew about him being like this, so now that she knew, he didn’t know how he could handle it. He didn’t know if it was good, he didn’t know anything. 

He had always wanted to hide everything and handle them alone, because if others knew, they would pity him for everything. They would talk to him differently, say different kind of jokes. He had experienced that. He didn’t want it to happen anymore. He wanted people to think of him as a normal human being, with no problems like this. He didn’t want to be an exception.

But as he listened to her words, he could feel how they hit him. No one, repeating; no one, had ever talked to him like that. He had met thousands of doctors and so on, but no one ever told him they wanted him to live. He didn’t understand it. Why would she want that?

Noe kept looking on the ground, but he realized soon that tears were forming in the corners of his eyes. He had his medication, so he wasn’t supposed to be able to cry, but he couldn’t help it. Not even medications could stop it right now. 

“I...”

It was harder than ever. He wanted to thank her, but at the same time he wanted to apologize for hurting her like this. He knew she wanted him to feel good, she was a good person so of course she would want that. But it was so hard for him to understand. He wanted to cry his heart out.

He placed his hand against the wall and fell down along it. 

“I just... didn’t want to hurt you-,”he started, taking two deep breathes as he continued. “I don’t like seeing you sad... And I don’t want to be the reason to your sadness. -- If.. If I could, I wouldn’t think like this...”

It felt terrible. He wanted to say so much more, he wanted to do it so bad, but he didn’t know how. It was like he was stuck in a maze and he has already forgotten how he got there and he has no idea how to get out. That’s how he felt with almost everything. That related to his depression, all these thoughts. He wanted to get out of the maze so badly, but after trying and trying he always found himself standing at the same point. But now that he heard what she had said, he felt like he had stepped one step closer to the way out of the maze.  

He ran his fingers through his thick hair and took a deep breath once again, but this time it was a shaken one. “I have lived with this for years. It’s all hard, you know?” With that, he raised his gaze up and looked at her, smiling a smile that was filled with sadness. 

“I wish I could be that good person you think I am. I truly wish that,”Noe felt how a tear fell down.  “You know... I don’t really even have any dreams. I gave up on them a long time ago.”

It hurts to talk. It hurts so much. 

"Well we were never officially together so..."

"Wanna come over and watch Netflix?"

"Haha and then what? ;)"

"I may be white, but I'm black from below the waist ;)"

"What's your bra size?"

"Nudes? ;)"

"So what would we be doing if we were alone rn? ;)"

"Lets play 20 questions."

"I-can't-function-without-my-mom-yet-I-disrespect-all-women"

"I'm not a fuckboy."

"I'll do it if you kiss me."

"If I send you flowers will you send me nudes?"

"What do you mean you won't give me a blowjob?? I paid for our date!"

"You owe me."

"Who cares if it's the first date?"

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone ;)"