Too Many Choices

There's so much for you to explore that it's almost hard to explain! I put all of the technical details in the dev log on itch.io, so for now, I'll just skip straight to the point and give you the goods:

Play the Demo Here

Along with the new UI, engine, soundtrack, art, save system, and countless added features, this update brings the public demo from 270,000 words to around 460,000!

The Freshman: first time through I went for James (not white). He was sexy and interesting, but thennn they changed his face and he became a huge nerd/dork instead of mysterious like he was at first. Ended up ditching him for Zig (looks white… except he’s Latino so he ain’t really white)😰 My MC was the medium skinned one and in my headcannon she’s Latina

Verdict: not-white, Zig is latino

TCATF: I got Dom and Kenna together (white, though Raydan (he don’t look that white but he ain’t black) was quite tempting…

Verdict: white, Dominic

#lovehacks: Chose Ben. He kinda looks Asian to me but idk? Anyway my MC was the black one with the red hair.

Verdict: white I guess? What race is Ben even, though MC is black

TRR: Liam. Narrative pushed me towards him. I also chose the standard(?) version that’s on the cover because it was on the cover, and he looks most like his siblings, though at first I found the Asian one most attractive.

Verdict: white

Endless Summer: started out with Sean. Got to book 3, hadn’t used any diamonds, and got soo bored of him because he was just so… good and not very interesting. Ended up restarting, going for Jake and spent looootsa diamonds. I was the African American MC.

Verdict: white, Jake, though MC is black

HSS: Went for Caleb. He was the cutest and narrative seemed to push me that way. Never restarted but kinda wish I’d have gone for Michael (kinda like in ES I went for Jake). But it has nothing to do with skin color, I just think they aren’t too interesting. I was the super white MC with blonde hair lol

Verdict: black, Caleb

HSS2: I’m going for Ajay. I was gonna go for Rory (I made him the black one bc I always want to make them black but then they smile and look like a horse. It’s not against black skin but the artists, why do you make them smile like that??? Anyway I was so happy black Rory was just really cute and I was gonna date him). But I found Rory boring and went for Ajay who I love. Ajay looks Indian to me? Is that right?

Verdict: non-white, Ajay is Indian (I looked up the name Ajay and found lots of Indian ppl with that name)

RCD: I went for Matt because well, idk I just did. I’m not crazy about any of those LIs to be honest, though.

Verdict: white, Matt

AME: I went for the “handsome stranger,” though I also messed around with the “beautiful contestant” lol. Again though, I didn’t get too invested in any relationships here. MC was the black one.

Verdict: white, that one dude, and MC is black

Perfect Match: Damien. He’s human and male and they’re cute together. Though I WAS a little seduced by Hayden sometimes… (he was the dark haired white one) but the whole robot human thing was too weird for me.

Verdict: white, Damien

Ilitw: meh I didn’t really like many people from the gang. Ended up dating Connor 😂 I didn’t remember him looking so weird when he came back in ILB

Verdict: white, Connor

Ilb: Danni! I’m playing as a dude this time ha so I went for Danni. She’s Latina so she ain’t really white, technically. MC was the Asian looking dude with blonde hair so he looks like a surfer lol

Verdict: Not-White, Danni is Latina

D&D: Sinclaire ❤️ He’s like my fav LI type, sweet and generous but rough on the outside. Also he’s the only LI you don’t have to spend diamonds on so there’s that… MC was the Asian one

Verdict: white, Sinclaire

Blood Bound: Adrian. Tried to go for Jax but found him dull. I can’t believe I wasted diamonds in that stupid scene where he cooks for you 😩 I have the sexy Adrian, with the middle tone skin. My MC was the Emma Watson lookalike.

Verdict: white, Adrian

Rules of Engagement: Who cares 😂 I went for Leo though.

Verdict: white; Leo

Home for the Holidays: WHO CARES?? 😂 I went for the boss dude tho. Can’t remember his name.

Verdict: white, what’s-his-face

BSC: I don’t care about this book and honestly I could go for Dallas or Sawyer at this point. I def find Dallas most attractive and like his personality, but he’s hardly there and there’s kind of a paywall… lame.

Verdict: undecided but probably black (for Dallas)

Elementalists: Haven’t decided. Probably gonna go for the Draco dude though because he seems most interesting to me. MC is the black one.

TL;DR The majority of the dudes I choose are white but it’s because of their personality and nothing against the color. I like having diverse MCs so I switch it up often. Let people date who they want, but folks, don’t be racist.

One big part of N’s character that intrigues me is the way they cling to their humanity. Or rather, whatever is left of it. They’ve spent so much of the last three centuries holding on as tight as they can to what they used to be, and it carries over into their love for reading and stories—which is also one of the main themes of Great Gatsby: holding onto the past, even when it kills you. Gatsby has spent years stubbornly holding onto the memories of the relationship he used to have with Daisy that his perception of the truth has been completely skewed. All he cares about is stopping time and turning back the clock. (There’s even a quote about it. “Can’t repeat the past? Why, of course you can!” And the tea scene, which is a personal favorite.)

He’s hung all of his hopes on having her again; we all know she’s the green light he keeps reaching for. (And the color green symbolizes so many things: wealth, prosperity, envy, to name a few that fit.) To Gatsby, Daisy is the living embodiment of all his desires. He isn’t in love with her so much as he is in love with the idea of her; she’s become a sort of status symbol to him. Something to project his desires onto. If he can have her, it means he’s achieved all he’s ever wanted. The wealth, the high-class life, the privilege, all of these things he’s been hungry for and has devoted himself to obtaining. 

Similarly, turning was something that N never wanted. Having their mortality taken from them is a wound that has never healed, even after all these years; partially due to their own avoidance. N enjoys cooking. They eat human food. They lose themself in their books and the stories they adore so much, and all because they can’t handle the truth of their reality. N dives into their beloved stories with so much romanticism because it’s easier than facing what’s real, just as they play at still being human. 

Which is part of what makes their relationship with the Detective in the romance route so interesting to me. Time and time again, we’ve seen the way N latches onto the Detective’s humanity. N makes off-hand (and presumptuous) comments about the Detective becoming a vampire in the future, and yet at the same time admits to themself that they don't want them to turn. N treasures their mortality and it’s easy to interpret part of that as them projecting onto the Detective; they don’t want what happened to them to happen to their partner. It is, in a way, N’s own method of stopping time and fixing the past. That isn’t to say that N doesn’t love the Detective, because they do, but there are definitely some parallels between the relationship they share with the Detective, and the one Gatsby and Daisy have. Green is even N’s color; we see them wearing it all the time. 

N’s inability to face the truth is also reminiscent of our iconic narrator, Nick Carraway. Though he claims to be “one of the few honest men he has ever known,” he has an enormous blind spot when it comes to himself and to Gatsby. Despite how he insists on giving an unbiased opinion on the events that unfold, there’s an undeniable favoritism to his neighbor. Nick also plays a hand in setting up the affair between Gatsby and Daisy, and judges the people he interacts with throughout the book. Setting himself up as “honest” and unbiased—merely an outside spectator, nothing more—in the beginning only makes it easier for him to swallow everything that happens later on, even when they become unacceptable. Especially when this clearly isn’t the case, and he’s involved far more than he’s willing to, or capable of, admitting. 

That kind of denial can be dangerous—not unlike how the idealist and romantic parts of N are equally enchanting as they are a concern. In their own way, N is just as unreliable as Nick. (Remember the, “Not with my own hands, no,” answer they give the Detective, after being asked if they’ve ever taken a life?) N prefers the dreamy notions found between the pages of their books and the denial of the part they ever played aboard The Queen’s Sabre over the cold and unsavory truth, even three hundred years after it happened. Just as they continue to pretend to still be human. 

Queen of Thieves || Nikolai Stirling

'How do you manage? The enormity of how much you care about everything. Even the little things. Especially the little things. How do you keep yourself from getting hurt?'