eyes closed, head first, can't lose

can’t believe I had to read this with my own balls

Mrs. Columbo picks up her husband’s freshly-pressed suit from the dry cleaner and then throws it on the ground and stomps on it, to get it just the way he likes it

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

aint it crazy how everyone is famous nowadays and yet I dont know who anyone is. there are countless people that will have more followers on instagram than the population of Sacramento and no one I know irl has ever heard of them