Probably Gotta Go

worst of all, he hates having to do laundry because of it. so, so many pairs of boxers in the laundry basket. even worse than that, he lives with other people. he has to run the risk of someone noticing how much laundry he's going through, or, god forbid, they actually see him shit himself. and because it's so random, he runs that risk all the time.

through one way or another, he ends up wearing a pull-up. white, medical, plain. maybe trying to get over a UTI while still working his 8-6 job. he ends up needing a shit fairly early on, which means by the time he gets home, he's desperate for the bathroom. he parks the truck and just sits for a moment before getting out. the moment he's out of the seat, he almost loses it. he considers just giving in, but it's at least worth the effort of trying to make it to the bathroom.

he makes it to the bathroom door and moves to shove it open, relieved at the prospect of...relief. but when he opens it, he finds someone else already on the toilet. they yell at him to shut the door, and he does, backing up and glancing around. seeing as nobody can see him, he starts wiggling like a worm, grabbing at his rear as if that's going to keep him from having an accident.

he can't hold it long at all. he crouches down right there in the hallway, bracing himself against the wall, finally, just pushing it all out and getting it over with. he didn't think he could even fathom shitting this much, but it's enough that he has to tug his pants down to give himself more room to fill his pull-up.

once he's pretty sure he's done, he reaches a hand around to pat his bottom and see how much he really did...

it's a lot. more than he thinks he's ever gone in his life. and on top of all of it, he gets the urge to pee, so he does, letting out a painful jet of piss that soaks into the padding immediately.

"...[character]? what are you... are you having an accident?" he turns, his face growing hot with embarrassment as he sees his [family member/friend] at the end of the hallway.

Yes, I know I'm wearing a pullup, but...

Okay, if you say so.

*Sound of pee hissing into my pullup.*

(A few minutes later) Um, see, the thing is... I still need to go.

No, I know I just went, it's just, um... I gotta go number two...

Seriously? Please, can I just go to the bathroom? Oh, okay, I'll try to hold it...

(several more minutes later) Um hey, remember how I said I had to go? Well... I don't think I can hold it... Yeah, it's really bad...

No, seriously, this is an emergency! I'm about to... to... have an... aaa...

*My face goes red, sporting an expression of embarrassment mixed with relief*

Huh? Oh, um, n-no, I'm not quite... Yeah, I'll just... finish up here.

Stumbling into their apartment, A's lips are hot on B's. It's been a while since work has allowed them to have some time for themselves, and naturally, they've used the evening off to go on a nice date; a movie B has been longing to see, dinner at a nice restaurant in the city and then a walk in the park with their fingers interlocked and B's head on A's shoulder.

Fic where it's like 2015, my moon my man montage, and Shane has to shit after the game, but doesn't take the opportunity for whatever reason- didn't think he had to or stalls busy or whatever. Maybe a chunk of the team has a virus and Shane doesn't, his load is solid he can hold it, and so he elects to not go at the venue since like half the team is trying to go at same time (maybe even is gonna go before showering, but occupied, so he showers quick and then intends to go, but still occupied..).

Catches his Uber or whatever to near Ilya's place, gets in, and Ilya is immediately on him and there's not like a smooth way to get to the john so, well, he can hold it. it's fine, they just wont fuck yet.

But Ilya kinda badgers him, as they're naked, about getting access to play with Shane's ass, why noooooooot hollander, and Shane finally has to be like Because I have to go to the bathroom.

Ilya is taken aback.

So go to the bathroom? Why didn't you??

Shane groans "because you were all rawr and then it was gonna be awkward".

"Why awkward? You just say 'Rosanov, hold thought, I gotta shit first.' "

"What the fuck no I can't???? "

"Why?"

"Because that's not sexy? that's terrible."

"Hollander. I know how human body works. I know where my dick goes. You think I don't know you shit?"

"There's knowing, and then there's me announcing it in the middle of making out."

And Shane squirms cuz he really does need to go. Ilya's eyes get big, and then he performatively rolls them, rolls off of shane too, and slaps his ass.

"go! go do what you must, then come back and we have sex."

"Fuck you."

"I would be fucking you already if you just go when you get here!" Ilya half-yells as Shane disappears into the bathroom.

Ilya waits a moment, but he's still thinking about this, so he asks-

"Why you did not go at stadium? I think you normally do? Unless you do this, but are sick?"

"Rosanov, why are you talking to me while I'm, uh... I'm in the bathroom!"

"hopefully shitting," Ilya mutters.

"Why you answer back if so bad to talk?"

"Fuck you!"

"... you are not sick though?"

"...No, but like half the team is, and there weren't any stalls open, but I was, like, okay, so i figured i could wait."

sound of tp, toilet flushing.

pants hitting the floor. shower starting.

ugh, ilya was never gonna get to fuck shane.

unless...

Ilya padded over to the door.

the handle turned. Shane hadn't locked.

Ilya let himself into the shower, and shane jumped, slipped, and it was almost bad.

"sorry," ilya said unrepentant

"what the fuck? fucking warn me! I could have still been..." gestures to his ass.

Ilya frowns. "What is the problem? i know how ass works, i have one too. I know is not magic "safe" for me to put tongue in you at any time. You think I think it is?"

"no, but still. it's like... personal."

ilya's eyebrows hit his hairline

"More personal than tongue in ass?"

"no, i don't know, fuck you"

"what was plan, anyway," ilya says, jumping to a new train of thought he'd been contemplating. "If I didn't say we fuck and make you tell me, when you were gonna tell me?"

"fuck, i don't know. I hadn't thought it through."

"When I jerk you off? when i blow you? you were gonna hold it all the time?"

"I don't know. I- I don't know."

ilya is kissing his neck now, feeling down his chest, dick nestled between shane's freshly washed cheeks.

"hold so tight, cant relax, while I blow you. I pet your asshole and you squirm, can't let me in. go back and forth (ilya makes a wiggling gesture with his hand) "

"fuck, how do you make even this conversation sexy. fuck."

ilya shrugs pragmatically

"is sexy. sex is sexy."

...