i dont know if i want to get better

oh wow so Nobody likes me huh

envy is growing into hatred. for both of them. for everyone. im the only one who doesnt get to be loved. im the only one who is alone. and i hate them for it. i hate them all.

ive gone from “nobody would miss me or notice if i died” to “people would feel an indescribable form of relief if they found out i killed myself” and i think thats awesome and definitely doesnt make me want to slit my wrists for the first time in years.

i think i might actually hurt myself again today. i want to. i need to.

i think its getting bad again

i 💜 being unloveable its so much fun that Literally nobody wants me i love seeing every single one of my friends being in love and then nobody wants me yay yippee being undesirable is the most fun thing ever what if i killed myself right now

im sorry im not him, you have no idea how much i wish i was.