The Ministry of Man

He insists on punishments only. He refuses the application of a safe word indicating that he has never allowed a safe word before with his previous subs. He demands submission. Then he calls me unfit to be a submissive because I asked why he isn’t taking the time to learn me, put safety protocols in place or ease into the relationship so we can trust each other and then dive deeper. He demands consistency and discipline from me and exercises none himself.

Am I going insane here? When did obedience come before trust? How is submission not earned but demanded? What did I do wrong? How does that make me not submissive material?

@instructor144, @submissive-seeking, @thetriskeliondiaries, @the-faculty and others help me understand, please.

He is the one wrong. He is the little boy wearing a suit that is too big for him, playing a game that is going to lead to a misstep and a tragic trip down a flight of wooden stairs, leading to the injurement of himself and any other he might grab and pull down with him. 

His rejection of you, as painful as it might be right now, has saved you. 

His refusal of safewords means that your safety is not his priority. That is dangerous. This is abusive. Submission is not demanded. It is earned, given, surrendered, gifted. It is not demanded. It cannot be ripped from the gut of the submissive without killing her in the process. She must reach in herself, carefully manuvering the fragile parts, and offer it to him of her own accord. 

Punishments should be a last resort, not a go-to option. It should pain you both for discipline to be meeted out, not a delight on his part to see you mentally and emotionally hurt. 

You called him on his nonsense and he rejected you. Good. My love, that is a good thing. You are strong. You did not accept his vomit as food. You spat it out and called it what it was: bile, vitrol, venom, sickness. 

You are worth so much more than this. You are worth being treasured, Dominanted in love and grace and power and mutually beneficial pleasure and surrender and control. 

I am so sorry you’ve experienced this, dear one. I am always here as a listening ear, as are the others that have been tagged above. I’ll also bring in @crusoesampersand, @itsshinycollectordestinyworld, @toodomforyou, @herdramaticsir, and @dinodaddy on this one. 

You did well. You did right. 

We’re all, to some extent, broken people. No one gets through life unscathed. Some choose to affirm and embrace our connection to other people, in the hopes that we’ll heal each other.

Others, however, sink into nihilism, despair, and darkness. Their vision is so blinkered and their soul so clogged that their only recourse is to seek to somehow expiate their brokenness by releasing that negative energy into others lives. It doesn’t work for them, of course. It just ends up adding to the sum total of misery in the world.

Embrace connection. Don’t despair. Be kind. Be good.

True power comes from trust and respect earned. How, you may ask? Empathy. Communication. Openness. Honesty. Integrity. Putting your partners' needs above your own desires.

If she won't submit, it's most likely because you haven't earned her trust or respect. Leaders are not bossy children. If you want someone worthy to follow your lead, you must first learn the difference.

If you disagree, that's fine. Feel free to Ask or Message me about it in detail and about why I feel this way. If you agree, please take the time to share this message forward.

In court that day, the judge asked the boy, “Are you afraid?” No, the boy said.

Pipes says the judge seemed surprised, and asked, “Why not?”

Chief’s thesis was that a child who has been abused by an adult can benefit psychologically from the presence of even more intimidating adults that they know are on their side. “When we tell a child they don’t have to be afraid, they believe us,” Arizona biker Pipes told azcentral.com. “When we tell them we will be there for them, they believe us.” ( Article)

They go on runs to protect the child if they feel even the slightest threatened no matter where. If the child needs them to go on vacation with them, they do. Bikers come from across the nation to watch over and take shifts for these kids. And the best part is once you’re adopted into this family as a BACA kid, you’re always one. Even when you’re 40 and the perp gets released from jail, they’ll come meet with you and find your best options for avoiding the person and maintaining the life you’ve built for yourself. Once a BACA child, always a BACA child. In Florida, there’s 100% rate for identifying the perp based on the child’s testimony. Why? Because BACA stands with the child and supports the child so they feel comfortable enough to point out their attacker.

They’re in Canada as well and probably other countries. I met and talked with a native guy who runs the place near me. His name is Shaman. I got in, and I’m considered a BACA child now. Despite being 17, turning 18 when I talked to them. They spent time with me when my abuser was over, they gave me therapy resources. They give you something called a ‘level 1′ where they go to your house with as many bikers as they can, i shit you not a solid 20-40 bikers came from even out of province, and met me. I got to choose my biker name and I got a vest with patches on it and my name on it. They all hugged a Teddybear before giving it to me, and told me if I ever felt the BACA bear was running out of love, to give them a call and they’d refill it for me, and then I got a ride on one of their bikes. Just a day or so ago I went to an annual party with them and they we ate food one of them cooked and had a lot of laughs. 

I’ve never felt as loved as I did being a part of the BACA family. They also gave me dog tags with the names, and phone numbers of my 2 workers.  So I can call them whenever I feel scared. 

BACA is an absolutely wonderful group that will do everything in it’s power to help any child whos been abused. 

And it doesn’t end when you’re 18 either. As long as you get in contact/get your level 1 before you’re 18? you’re ALWAYS a BACA kid. I’m 18 now and they still invite me to parties, ask me if I’m okay, and are there for me. They’re still trying to find me resources for therapy. 

BACA has changed my fucking life. 

What’s wrong? Did you think He had your pleasure in mind? How silly. Clearly you’re just another dumb cunt in the line of a hundred others who thought this handsome, successful Man wanted to make you feel good.

you are a life support system for three hot holes designed to pleasure cock. At least 2 times out of 3 it’s not going to feel good, but at least He is enjoying himself!

Compliance is not enough.

For me, when I get married, I want to be very clear about what consent means to me. Especially in this over-saturated feminist world we live in. I want to make it very clear what his rights are as a man who should be privileged to fuck me freely. 

1. When I’m asleep, it’s consent.

2. When I’m drunk/blacked out, it’s consent.

3. When I’m tired, it’s consent.

4. When I say no (for whatever stupid reason that might be), it’s consent.

5. I consent to anal.

6. I consent to no birth protection if/when you want me too.

7. I consent to be shared by you, with who you want, when you want.

8. I consent to being pissed on.

9. I consent to him fucking other women, as is his right to do!

10. I consent to giving over all the sexual power in our relationship to him!