Deobi Writers

The TV along with the noise of the rain outside were the only sounds you could hear inside your apartment. Checking your phone every five minutes to see if he'd texted you, making your heart race even faster with no signal.

Of course, it was raining and Younghoon's job was downtown, by this time the avenues were completely full and you knew your fiancé too well to know how cautious he was when driving. But then you wouldn't blame yourself if you called him or worried even more that you didn't even have a message from him all that time.

It's raining, calm down, you tried to think positive. Imagining the times Younghoon would turn on the car stereo and turn the music down to try not to get stressed with all that traffic before getting home. Maybe he would have done it this time.

Or not. Because the bang of the front door made you jump off the couch in fright. For him to arrive like that, the path could not have been so peaceful.

“Love” you called him and got up from the couch. Holding back the urge to laugh seeing Younghoon completely soaked and holding his briefcase “Oh my God, are you ok?”

You ran towards him, quickly taking off your coat three times as heavy as usual, throwing it completely to the ground. That could be cleaned up later.

"I forgot my umbrella, there was only a spare parking space here in the building and I hate working downtown" he collapsed in seconds, huffing at the sight of you not being able to hold back a small laugh.

But he wouldn't fight, he knew it was funny seeing it from another perspective.

"Bad day?" you leaned down to touch your lips to his, feeling the frost of the boy's mouth that was starting to turn purple.

“Terrible” he grumbled.

“How about a hot bath?” you took the suitcase from Younghoon's hands "In the meantime I'll prepare you something to eat."

He was so tired that he didn't even say anything, he just nodded and went up to the shared room thinking only about the hot shower. Every little drop that landed on his body was a tranquilizer for every stressful second he'd had since he left.

And it was inside the bathroom stall that he felt even worse. Coming home and meeting you was all he wanted, but when it happened, Younghoon could only think of stress. All his energies were drained and he couldn't even be loving enough with his own bride. Perhaps the punishment for forgetting the umbrella would be far worse.

Not that you took those little seconds of Younghoon's bad mood to heart, you knew he needed his own time to compose himself. But in his mind it was unacceptable for something like this to happen. It wasn't your fault and he needed to fix it.

Maybe he should be the one to make dinner after the shower. Or as he turned off the shower and dried off, he thought of something he could give you the next day, as there were little shops near where he worked that could help. Or the two of you could go out for the weekend away from everything you did on a daily basis, even your apartment. A new place, a fresh air…

As he put on some warmer clothes and thought about what he would actually do, Younghoon stopped by the bedside table where your things were. An almost empty water bottle that you refilled every night before bed, your reading glasses and the newest favorite of the moment. It ends with us it was already read for the third time, if he knew how to count for sure, then surely you loved that book.

“I got an idea” he took the object and flipped through a few pages to quickly read something he could use. It was a novel from what Younghoon remembered hearing you say, so he, like a fool in love, might try to redeem himself with something you were reading. Younghoon just didn't count on his sudden presence in the room.

"Ouch!" he screamed in fright, dropping the book to the floor. Another wave of laughter, this time he had to follow along because it really had been comical.

“What are you doing with my book?” your voice was soft and soothing to the boy in a state of fresh fright. He took the book and placed it where it came from, turning around and looking into your eyes.

Younghoon didn't respond, although his footsteps were directed towards you, and as soon as he got close enough, one of his hands touched your face.

“Do you have any idea how many doors I’ve knocked on to find you?” he added more intonation to his voice, making you laugh.

“Reciting one of my favorite books?”

"And it worked?" he countered, making you laugh even harder.

With no verbal response you just pulled him out of the room to show what you had prepared for Younghoon while he was in the shower. The boy was thinking all the time that he would have to do something for you that he hadn't even realized the opposite had happened.

He came across two oversized packets of chips and the couch piled high with pillows and blankets.

"What…"

“Remember our relaxing time?” you asked.

There was no way he could forget what he himself had started. With about four months of dating and university days, Younghoon knew that they both stressed a lot with courses, teachers and assignments. He couldn't admit being so angry about one thing, arriving to spend time with his girlfriend and staying the same.

“We need a relaxing time” he hummed after a little argument you guys had, perhaps one of the only ones in university because of the overload. Younghoon didn't want to be at war with the one person who would be his refuge from all this. The relaxing moment came so improvised, he didn't even know what he was doing when he threw all those covers on the couch in the apartment he shared with his best friends. This followed as a ritual at least once a week when you watched movies together or just enjoyed each other's company for a few hours.

It was evident that this had been lost a bit after you moved in together, but it wasn't because neither of you wanted to, but because sleeping together could already be seen as a relaxing time. But seeing that you had remembered something that meant so much made Younghoon's eyes water without him noticing.

“Oh God, what did I do to deserve such a perfect bride?” he whispered fearing you wouldn't hear as they walked over to the couch to snuggle up, but looking at the huge smile that formed on your lips he knew you'd heard.

“To be an equally perfect groom” you whispered back after you snuggled into his chest, feeling Younghoon's arms hug you as protectively as possible.

The controller in your hands went straight to the movie app that you could spend hours choosing, it didn't matter. To smell him and feel him so close was worth all the time.

“You know,” after a few seconds of silence, just watching the movie options go by, he said quietly. Your attention was totally on Younghoon, even though your eyes hadn't taken off the TV "We can live in love in slow motion…"

"You think?" your body moved enough that she could look at him now. The rogue smile forming on Younghoon's lips made your heart race right away.

"I have loved you since we were eighteen" the little sigh trailing off at the end of the sentence, the smile never leaving his lips as he continued "Long before we both thought the same thing. To be loved, to be in love…"

“Don't you regret it?” you bit your bottom lip a little unsure and felt like a fool for still having that kind of fear. But feeling his arms around you a little tighter was that kind of reassurance you needed.

“Not for a second. I would do anything again to have you here with me” he kissed your forehead “We took a chance. God knows, we tried... Yet all along, I knew we'd be fine.”

“I love you so much” you hugged him back, by this point completely forgetting that the movies were still waiting to be chosen. It didn't matter anymore when you could hear Younghoon's heartbeat speeding up as you held him tighter against your body. “I love what we were in the beginning, I love what we've become. I love both of us so much.”

"Then we're getting married tomorrow" he said amusedly, as usual, making you laugh at the exact moment a lone tear fell on your cheek. The relief of feeling safe and loved was so much that you needed to get out somehow, and that little tear was the way to expand the feeling.

"Hoonie…" you muttered, lifting your head to look into his eyes. He looked like a crybaby with his lips jutting forward and his eyes red “Our amazing day is already booked.”

“I don't want to wait another three months, y/n. I want tomorrow.”

“Stop being a baby” you kissed his lips quickly, lifting your hands so you could cup his face “It will go by fast, meanwhile we can have this moment every night until then.”

"We can?" a light in his eyes lit up with the idea, “I guess every day could be rainy by then. I would love to have this treatment.”

"Of course, your health will deteriorate if you get wet every day for three months, sir."

“If you take care of me like this every day, I don't care,” he whispered in your ear after you'd settled down to finally choose the movie.

Best friend in high school can mean, most of the time, first love in high school. Between you and Juyeon it would be no different. Best friends, first love for each other, first time in absolutely everything. It was like that until the end of high school where his family had to move to another country. He always said that he hated this instability of his father's job that had taken away a lot of important things from him - you were, without a doubt, one of those things - and Juyeon knew that keeping something away wasn't the same thing as always being close to you.

University. A year and a half without seeing him and not knowing anything else about him. For the anger – and a bit of childishness you later admitted – you felt that he had gone even though the boy wasn't to blame.

Lee Juyeon was back after two years away. He had changed, his hair longer and silkier and fluttering as the wind on campus beat against his face and consequently made the strands look messy. But even so, he was still handsome. And without having come to talk to you. Reason? Park Deokwan, your boyfriend of a few months.

Juyeon felt bile in his throat every time Jacob and Haknyeon talked about Deokwan and how they found you two. Your friends thought Juyeon might have gotten over you, he thought so too, but that's not what his heart said after seeing you at the first frat party after returning to that university.

You were always beautiful to him, you always left him with his heart racing and his eyes shining just at the sight of your body walking through the blinks of light in that room with the most beautiful clothes he had ever seen you wear. But why was Deokwan holding your hand? Why had he kissed you and you smiled at him? Why wasn't Juyeon there? He was hating to think of it that way, even more when you could see how happy you were. One thing he couldn't do.

“Hey man” Jacob carefully pushed his coffee cup towards Juyeon the day after the party “This will ease your hangover.”

“Thanks” Juyeon smiled and thanked him, drinking some of the dark, sugar-free liquid that made him instantly grimace “Really, Cobie?”

“Do you want glucose?” he smiled shyly seeing his friend agree “Or do you want something even stronger so you can forget about y/n?”

Juyeon was grateful for his instinct not to drink when Jacob started talking, or knew he'd have coffee on the table when he spit it out as soon as he heard him finish that sentence.

“Jacob Bae. Bae Joonyoung…”

"Don't call me that" the other guy defended himself "I'm just telling the truth" he shrugged his shoulders "And if it was a lie, you'd be more concerned with denying than scolding me."

Damn little friend shit, he thought as he finished his coffee. And as he faced that semester watching you and Deokwan in a romantic mood, coffee would be little to put up with all that thing he swore he couldn't.

“I can't still love her” Juyeon whimpered one Friday night, sitting on that lounge chair at his frat house listening to Sunwoo play the guitar.

“Anything is possible my friend” Eric raised his beer bottle in an imaginary toast and smiled “Just as there is a possibility that y/n is only with him now to make you jealous.”

"What?" Juyeon practically screamed. At that moment Sunwoo stopped running his fingers on the guitar string and stared at the two who were looking at each other without stopping.

“Eric, don't talk nonsense and don't give him false hope” Sunwoo tried to warn.

A bit of silence as the youngest sipped his beer, chuckling.

“Hey come on” he finished his drink in one gulp, leaning back from the porch frame and walking to the back door “Your relationship is gone, but my friendship with her has remained intact Lee. And you can be sure I know what I'm talking about.”

Eric really knew. He knew you liked Deokwan, but he was never able to fully surrender after Juyeon. Not that you didn't want to, you just couldn't be in someone's arms and thinking about your first – and only – love.

It was like a betrayal.

But Deokwan hadn't bonded with any of that, he barely knew about his past relationship with Juyeon. Just knew that he was from the circle of friends and that he was new to the university, and since Deokwan liked new friends, it was easy to invite Juyeon to almost every meeting and party. Even though you couldn't face him in most of them, but he was there. The cup in his hand and the rogue smile as he talked to everyone until his eyes met yours.

This was language without a single sound that you had to get out of there or something might happen. Something you've tried to hold on to until that moment.

“Y/n” his voice saying your name couldn't make your legs wobble so much. His heart almost popped out of his mouth and his fingers almost broke the cup of the beer bottle as he slowly closed the fridge door.

“Hi” you tried to look nonchalant with the fact that Juyeon was right there in the kitchen with you. Just the two of them at that party when he could be anywhere else.

“How long” not even he knew how to start a conversation, nervousness was evident as Juyeon ran his free hand through his hair in a failed attempt to hold your ground. Without even a sigh when you finally faced him.

"I think, well… I have to go."

“Are you going to stay with Deokwan? Right in front of me?” his footsteps stopped, simply lacking the strength in his legs to continue on his way out of the kitchen. Juyeon didn't know where so much courage came from saying all that.

Maybe it was the conversations with Eric where he assured you that your feelings for Deokwan were gone. You knew so, you just had no idea that your best friend had just told Lee Juyeon.

“What do you mean by that, Juyeon?” your voice was shaky, pure nervousness as your body swiveled to face the boy who hadn't moved a muscle since he walked into that kitchen.

"I wonder if he knows that I touched your skin" the first step toward you had been taken, you at least moved after he took another step. Juyeon didn't smile, eyes fixed on yours "If he knows you don't love him anymore" by now you knew Eric Sohn had his finger on it, knew he was the big culprit for almost all of Juyeon's courage. Just didn't know I'd be grateful for the next steps.

Juyeon's hand touched your face, the icy fingers made your entire skin tingle and eyes quickly closed as the boy brought his face closer. You should walk away, you should run away and say you couldn't do this.

But a completely drunk Jacob appeared there. The noise of cups falling from the kitchen counter made Juyeon startle along with you, both of you separating to see the other boy apologizing numerous times while looking at you and his friend.

“Shit, I got in your way” he grumbled “Eric and Sunwoo are going to kill me for this, sorry!”

So they told you something, you thought. It could only be since Juyeon knew you didn't love Deokwan. But the question wasn't even that, and yes, how? How could he know something so personal that you had only told – obviously – Sunwoo and Eric.

"I just came to drop off these cups that were scattered in the hallway and—" Jacob looked around trying to find another excuse that wouldn't embarrass him so much for getting in the way of you and Juyeon, but he just couldn't. His drunken brain didn't help him much either.

“How about we get out of here to make Cobie more comfortable?” Juyeon's voice was like a whisper and you wondered how you heard with all that loud music and screaming inside the house. It was clear as daylight because he was still close enough to you.

Your brain wanted to scream no, you really wanted to deny that request, but found yourself with your hand clasped in his as Juyeon walked you out of that party. None of your friends objected to seeing you go out with him, not least because they knew you needed it. Even you knew, you just didn't want to admit to yourself that Lee Juyeon's return had stirred your insides so much.

"What? Where do you think we're going?” finally your voice came out after a while, your hand let go of Juyeon's as he stopped beside his own car. The keys between his fingers and his gaze lingering on you as he interspersed nervous figure and the car that had been unlocked by the alarm.

"To a quieter place, maybe" he shrugged as if that was the most normal thing in the world.

“You're unbelievable” your laugh was a mixture of desperation, nervousness and, who knows, a little nostalgia.

"Why?" Juyeon didn't move, his eyes always fixed on you and the keys still playing in his fingers as his voice became more serious “Are you afraid to be seen with me, y/n? Are you afraid he'll see you here?” you didn't know how to answer that and that's what was scaring you the most. Juyeon then decided to approach, his steps slowly towards you and stopping right in front of you. Now his hands hovered at his sides.

“I know I have no right to say anything…”

"And do not have. Because you left” was a scrap of courage inside you that needed to say that. All that time repressing a conversation around Juyeon's return was happening in the most random way, but you needed to enjoy “You literally went to another country and come back like nothing happened, Juyeon. And I hate you so much for messing with me it's like you never left.”

"Y/n…"

“I don't love Deokwan anymore, that's true” you sighed trying not to cry at that moment. A lot of things inside you happening and crying was the only way out, but maybe after he was no longer in front of you "But it's true that I also hate you for coming back and acting this way."

Walking away from him like that had been more painful than the first time.

Two weeks locked inside your room and living on fast food and TV movies. Your friends understood and none of them forced you to leave the room, even if the attempts were daily. You were grateful that exam week had passed, or you would have to go to campus, and sure enough, the risk of bumping into Juyeon would be much greater.

In there you were safe. Or at least you thought so.

“Come back here!” the shouts from downstairs were so normal to you if it weren't for the male voice retorting as the footsteps on the stairs became steady and louder.

“I promise it will be quick” it wasn't possible that Juyeon was there, inside your frat house.

“Juyeon, she's not…” your friend's voice trailed off as he opened the door. You, even hearing everything, jumped in fright as you stared at the worried look of the boy in front of you along with the scared look of your friend.

"I tried" she pouted, quickly slapping his arm "Get out, let's go."

"I-"

“You can leave it here” you said.

"Really?" your friend and Juyeon asked at the same time, both in disbelief thinking you would say otherwise, but no. If he was there for something important, then you had to listen to him even if it was the last thing you did.

“I'll be downstairs if you need it” your friend directed a loving look at you, looking now at Juyeon “Hyunjae left his hockey stick here, anything I run upstairs and I won't be afraid to use it.”

She closed the door right away.

“Always so loved” Juyeon smiled awkwardly after a while, getting the first heartfelt laugh out of you.

So… It was the word that always started when the mood started to get uncomfortable, or when neither of them knew what to say. But not for Juyeon. He really had come with a purpose and he vehemently hoped to fulfill it.

“We were meant to be, y/n” you had to hold back your reaction at all costs, but that had taken you by surprise. Juyeon was convinced of what he said as he approached his bed “but a twist of fate made it so you had to walk away, and I know I'm guilty of never having tried anything.”

“Juyeon.”

"I love you" he stopped his footsteps when he got close enough "I've never stopped thinking about how much I've loved you since the first day I saw you walking into that high school" a low sigh escaped his lips, his nose burning as the memory was hit hard "Those glasses that molded your whole face, your cheeks rosy with shame because you thought you had entered the wrong room…"

“I got nervous” you pouted and laughed too, it wasn't painful to remember your first day of school. Because besides Juyeon, you met most of your friends that day.

“You made my heart flutter in a ridiculously cute way” his gaze was so bright you knew at that moment Juyeon was about to cry. You got out of bed to go around the furniture little by little, enough for him to continue talking without getting so nervous "And it hasn't stopped happening."

"You were ashamed to say that" his voice came out as a whisper at that moment.

"I don't care what people say when we're together" trying not to invade your personal space, Juyeon reached up to touch his hand. And in surprise, you intertwined your fingers to hold his hand infinitely bigger than yours "I only care what it's going to be like from now on with the two of us."

Us. You knew that it had never ceased to exist. Deep down, you knew that your heart was always with Juyeon even if it wasn't by your side. And from those lines and everything he had shown, you were absolutely sure of reciprocity.

With your free hand, you touched his face and like almost instantly, Juyeon bent down enough to be with your face at the same height as his.

"Can I kiss you?" Juyeon interspersed his gaze between your eyes and your mouth, the smile slightly crooked as you nodded.

Feeling his lips again was like riding a wave of happiness where you took your serotonin fuel. The way it all fell into place while that kiss was loaded with longing and feelings neither of you could – or would – say out loud. It was just made to feel and you knew how lucky you were to feel it for each other.

Distancing yourself at that moment was only because you needed air in your lungs, because neither of you intended to end that kiss.

“You know,” Juyeon took a breath after a few seconds without kissing you, eyes still closed and his forehead pressed against yours. That quickened breath slowly calming down along with your “I just want it to be you and I forever.”

"Do you want?" he nodded without a single moment's hesitation, you opened your eyes to see him nibble his bottom lip reddened by the recent kiss.

"I've lost a lot by your side and I don't intend to lose it again."

"Juyeon, we…"

"I know you want to leave, I know this sounds crazy because we need to talk and I just walked up to your room just like that” you laughed at how he stumbled over his own words, but that was really true. And not to mention that most likely his friends were pining downstairs hoping that everything would work out somehow “But I want to make it work and I don't intend to go anywhere without you this time.”

“What do you mean by that, Lee Juyeon?”

And with the brightest smile that ever warmed your heart, he leaned in again to kiss your lips and whisper the sweetest words.