Don't even try to fuck with me

“And if he’s doin’ it it ain’t with me, so you can stop talkin’ about him like that. And he’s not here. So I would suggest comin’ back when he is, if you don’t mind.”

“I’m Belial, And yeah, he’s doing fine because I’m taking care of him. That boy is a danger to himself if he doesn’t stop pretending he isn’t wat he is.“

“And fyi, even though its NONE of your business, he and I aren’t like that. We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, what ever. He’s an Incubus, he’s gonna get laid a lot, I know.“

“But really? Are you some kind of Fangbanger?” Yeah, he’d be the last one to judge something like that. But he like ruffling a few of Don’s feathers. He wasn’t the good guy here, at least not usually.

“Or are you just jealous that I’m giving my attention to someone other than you?”

Yeah for a moment there he had it, the being nice thing. Why did he always ruin it? It wasn’t like he was gonna burst into flames just because he was nice.

“A vampire lady because you get off on seeing her fangs.”

“Who said it was a lady?” was all he replied, not even bothering to deny his current entanglement with Godric. If it was that obvious there wasn’t any point in hiding it, but that was all his ‘uncle’ was going to get out of him.

“But really? Are you some kind of Fangbanger?” Yeah, he’d be the last one to judge something like that. But he like ruffling a few of Don’s feathers. He wasn’t the good guy here, at least not usually.

“Tattoo wouldn’t work, my skin heals so fast it’ll reject the ink. Bone etching sounds painful as fuck though. Remind me again why you wanna help me so bad? You’re being ridiculously nice for someone as powerful as your name suggests.”

“Right. Skin healing.” He chose not to comment on that because yeah, sure. Skin healing fast was a problem but actually not at all. Didn’t Donny listen to what he just said? Sky’s the fucking limit. “Because I’m bored. And because in reality, you are family. My fucking brother can never keep it in his pants. Which is by design but still.” A moment of silence followed. “Then again, I wouldn’t help any of my other brothers. Like, ever. Maybe Lev but that’s just because is adorable.” A chuckle left Belial, and he smirked at Don. “Plus I doubt you’d make it much longer by yourself. The drinking and whoring is fun but one day you’ll just be exploding. Literally.”

“And what if I don’t like what I see, Uncle Bel?Are you gonna persuade me?”

He snorted at the older demon. “I’m well aware I have magic, idiot. I was raised by witches y’know, they taught me everything. I mean yeah I’ve cut back a lot so I don’t get detected, but I didn’t know it would get this bad.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, huffing a little. “What am I supposed to do then? Let off magical steam and just hope that I don’t attract hunters or angels? “

“.. aren’t gonna find you with this. Easiest way is a tattoo. Or you let me put that on your bones. It’s fucking magic, there’s no limit, Donny boy.”

“How did you know? What don’t I know about myself? Tell me what to do.”

“Hey, I know all this shit because I’m old as dirt. I’ve seen it before. I’ve had my fair share of sex with human woman and kids who blew up whole buildings because they got angry. You got off easy.”

He fucked up. He wasn’t completely sure how or why. Maybe it was all the stifling of his demonic nature to fit in. Normally it was fine but he had to have one bad day, one fatally bad day. Now he was staring at a corpse in front of him, just laying there bleeding on the ground, all because the fucker threatened to beat the shit out of him. Well, he didn’t, Don made sure of it. And he went overboard, again. He downed the rest of the vodka he found and pulled the note out of his pocket, blinking at it with blurred vision before tossing the empty bottle and smashing it on the concrete nearby. He then pulled out a lighter, reciting the Latin flawlessly before lighting it, then waited for his stupid archdemon mentor.

“What’d you do to the guy?”

He glances at the paper and recognizes the summoning ritual, snorting as he crumples it and shoves it in his pocket. Could be useful later to get him out of a scrape, or pin something on the demon instead maybe. “I don’t need anyone to turn to, I’ve got this handled alright? You’re the one who’s convinced that I’m some weird ticking time bomb. Sorry I couldn’t be more entertaining for you.”

“I think I’m just gonna go now, look for someone to fuck and someone to kill. Maybe the same person, who knows. And when the time comes, I’ll be there to pull your pretty ass out of trouble.” Belial shoots him a look of warning. “If you think you can summon me for the fun of it, I’m going to rip your throat out.”

“What the fuck would you know anyway? You don’t have two conflicting natures, your path is pretty clear cut if I’m not mistaken, been here since the beginning if you’re really who you say you are. I don’t want to embrace that side alright? I don’t like losing control, I don’t like hurting people, and I’m not gonna become some stupid tool.”

He takes out a piece of paper and writes down a few Latins words. Then he hands that to Don, not entirely sure himself why he does it. “Once you fuck up - which is gonna happen soon, say the words and burn the paper. Imma come by, tell you ‘I told you so’ and we can start over. I’m pretty sure that’s the only choice you have. With an attitude like that, I doubt you have another one of us to turn to.”

“Interesting. A grand tour and lengthy history about the side of my nature that I really don’t want or particularly care for, told by a self important old geezer of a demon. Yeah, no, that’s sounds like a blastey blast, too bad I have like…ANYTHING else to do right now. Maybe some other time, grandpa.”

“Now listen, you ungrateful little shit. You may be a half blooded bastard, but that doesn’t mean you get to be a little fucktard. You think the filthy humans are gonna accept you? Good fucking luck to you. And besides, if you don’t let that shit out, it’s gonna kill you. You have no idea what you are dealing with and if I were you, I’d listen to someone who knows. Clearly no one has ever told you a thing about what you can actually do. You wouldn’t be crawling around up here, living in this shit filled hole of humanity.”

“Wow, thought full-fledged demons were a little more fun. Fine, let me just stuff this infantile boner away before it offends you further,” he grumbled huffily, pulling his boxer-briefs back on before sitting more politely for his uninvited guest. “Alright gramps, what are you really here for?”

“Me? I’m bored and I need something to do. And since I can tell that you don’t really approach your nature and what you can do with, I thought I’m gonna take you on a tour. Explain a thing or two. Let you hear the origin story.”

“Well damn, if that’s all it takes to make you go running I should just jerk it all the time. You sure you don’t wanna watch?”

“Yeah, no thanks. You’re a fucking child to me, that’s disgusting. It’s not what I’m here for. But if you wanna finish I can wait.”

“Oh, its you again. What do you want now?”

“You done playing with your cock or should I come back later?”