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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@demonmother
I love this picture of the moon. It’s like there’s two in one. The night is such a beautiful time for me. Feels so freeing and like I’m a different person. Sorta like this moon here. Split between personalities and who I am as a person
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How am I supposed to deal with the thoughts inside my head? They are too deep and far out of reach. Deep in my soul or in my heart where I can’t feel them. I’m so surface level about my own wants and needs I can’t understand how people know me so deeply. Or atleast I think they know me deeply. How can they know my mind and what I’m thinking when I don’t know myself. I feel so connected to a feminine person that I consider myself. Never really masculine and I kinda don’t like the masculine things boys typically are supposed to like or care about. But I think of myself as a girl and I can never envision it. I can’t envision myself as either gender but I always have an ache of needing to be a girl to be happy or express myself. Seeing like aesthetic vlogs of girls living life and wishing it were me. The gnaw of envy crawling in my heart taking what I want into a sick perverted call. “You’ll never have this. You’ll never be happy like they are. This time you want is past you and it’ll be unobtainable forever for you.” It’s haunting and scary to think about. But I can still never think about it on my own. My emotions take a forefront and never leaving me a moment to think and process what I need to truly make me who I want to be. I’m nothing but a husk of what I want and I don’t know how to remedy my own feelings about myself.
These are the inner looks into my mind once more. This is about my love for nature and the night. Some space too because who doesn’t love space. It’s about how I look for a release in my dreams and the night time but it never comes. I’m stuck with the same feelings on replay everyday and every night. Looking to change an ending I know will come true regardless of my efforts.
These came to me on a whim. A stroke of fantasy and dark realizations on who I am and how I see myself and my feelings of love. The inner corners of my mind know who I am and what I stand for but the optimistic returns at every beck and call. I’m never truly alone with the dark thoughts that haunt me in the darkened night. I’m just a hopeless romantic who gets too happy at the thought of being married and living in a cold small town.
A bit of a different post where i’m just venting a bit. How do you connect with others deeply? I feel like I’m just always surface level even with myself. Like do I really know who I am? How do people know me like the true real me? I feel like I’m hiding something and I can’t share it. There’s a part of me I can’t show to others. I had a true connection like a couple of times but they end up a failed relationship. Am I even myself when I’m alone? Or am I just a husk of sad emotions putting on a mask of happiness to float me by?
The pictures are at dusk. It looked nice out so I took a photo. I’m sharing them so it’s more than a wall of text
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I love the foggy nights. This was Christmas Day at around 6am. The fog reminds me of silent hill and how your mental can affect everything around you. The fog is nothing but a block that you can overcome. Don’t let it choke you.
Bright lights and a show. I’m glad to work at an amphitheater to see concerts of peoples favorite artists. Very eye opening to what people like and how they dress accordingly. Going to miss working here but it was nice while it lasted. Forever is only temporary I hope you find solace in what it is you do now.
I love how different times can influence your photo so dramatically. The colors the sky can give you are just amazing and astonishing. Even when everything feels the same you can always look to the sky and see something different.
May not be my typical style of gothic and dark academia but I think it’s nice to branch out sometimes. Comfortability in the unknown is something I don’t have but something I can get. Reach out to the things you haven’t done and try new things.
I’ve come to the realization that I haven’t posted many photos on here. I love the nights like these. So emotional without much work being put into it. The light from the kitchen lighting a small patch of the patio reminds me of how there’ll always be a light shining a way for you.
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The fleeting hands of creativity are always escaping me. Never around long enough to give me the drive for completion. Here long enough to give me a taste and I’m hooked.
I miss my collage making. These two are built on my mourning and longing for a life I can’t have, dark academia, it’s the basis of alot of my posts honestly. My key defining traits in most of my collages are beige because it makes everything else pop more. I love/hate the feeling it gives me. So much loss and grief but also the grand feelings of purpose and fullness
Guilt doesn’t purify you of your sins. But it is the path towards a better you. Guilty tears won’t wash away your actions.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The haunting past is always there. Infinitely part of me and always happening. I look back and there it is, those events playing forever more to pain me.
