Demon

[Yes, I scaled the cliff wall to the Ravengence nest]

[my costume is a witch, I have a crow, he sits on my shoulder :3 ]

(in order)

Where do babies come from!Philza: *You approach a normal house. When you knock there's a flurry of activity and laughter. When Philza opens the door he's batting off a hoard of kids trying to grab the treat bowl that he's holding over all of their heads. Philza blinks at you in surprise. He's also wearing a witch costume.* Hey mate! We're twinsies! Haha here you go- *Gives small piece of candy. He's poor lmaoo*

Where, then, do your loyalties lie?Philza: *The house is dim, and there is no response from within even after a few rings of the doorbell. A faint shuffling inside, lethargic, as if it's too much effort to try. When you call for Philza, there is a soft, choked sob. The door never opens. When you leave, you are tailed by people in soldier uniforms that are a little too authentic to be costumes. They want to know why you're looking for him.*

Golden Apples (Gilded Atrophy)!Philza: *There's a loud swearing when the doorbell rings, and a harried assurance he's coming. A winged man props open the door, clearly digging through a bag to try and find some type of treat to give you. At last he pulls out a shimmering golden apple, and he freezes, staring longingly at the magic pooling at his clawtips. You, too, are drawn in, instinctively reaching for the golden apple, and Philza scrambles back.* Trick, *he snaps, slamming the door in your face so you can't steal it from him.*

Where Hearts Roost!Philza: *The witch stares at you, large claws digging into the floor a little. He half laughs.* Now that's cultural appropriation, there. Almost enough to earn you a trick! But no, here you go. *A flick of his hand, and a cauldron flies over, some type of caramel sweet floating out and into your waiting hands. A second one flies over to the fake crow. Or- it was a fake crow too seconds ago, but now he lives and breathes. Philza grins at him. The candy tastes like laughter on a summer day and the spray of a waterfall. When you skip back, your feet barely tough the ground. You round the corner. The cottage isn't there when you look back.*

Mandatory Family Reunion!Philza: *Klaxons start going off. Bars slam down over the windows and doors. Helicopters whir overhead. The sound of sliding metal and thumps and steel toed boots. The doors burst open to find an out of breath Philza. Well maybe. A blanket has been thrown over head to make a very last minute ghost costume, and the draping doesn’t really hide the many many guns strapped to his body armor.* Haha trick or treat mate! Here yah go. *Philza hands over a full sized candy bar. You will be stalked for the next month*

Fault!Philza: *The chatter inside immediately dies the moment there's a knock on the door, almost fearfully so. A passing buzz of a bee, by your face, and an argument starts inside, raucous enough you can make out what sounds like a debate on murdering you. Uhhh...was this supposed to be a haunted house? Someone marches through the house...in the wrong direction, like they aren't familiar with the layout. Eventually the door is thrown open to a cool dragon costume. He's holding a very recently and messily carved turnip with an ember glowing inside.* And a happy Allhallows' eve to thee! Uh. Haha forgot to get candy or soul-cakes this year... *He hands you a napkin with a chunk of roasted squirrel and morsel of bread* That should be enough to appease the spirits of your loved ones. Good luck with the fairies!

The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On!Philza: Uhhhhh huh. You do realize this is a cult, right? *The man squints at you as if utterly baffled why you'd come to the dark forbidding temple well known for serving a god of Blood and Misery.* Very very evil cult. You should leave before you're sacrificed- TOMMY! *A young kid races past and Philza scoops up the wriggling giggling brat. Peeking around Phil, you find a gaggle of scruffy orphan kids racing after a giant wolf covered in bows* Evil dastardly cult. This squirt right here is the newest sacrifice to The Blood God. *Philza rolls his eyes as Tommy blows a raspberry at him, and gives up the ruse.* Look if I give you some altar offerings will you not tell anyone we're here? It's a lot easier if no one realizes we've disbanded the cult.

116 East Normal Street!Philza: *A man in authentic 2nd century BCE Chinese attire throws open the door and showers you with homemade candy the likes of which you've never even heard of before from so many cultures you can't keep track. There appears to be a party for introverts going on in the living room, and you are invited for tea.*

Worth far more than your weight in gold!Philza: *Lots of confused squawking. Like a LOT. The sonic force almost sends you flying off the cliff you scaled. Your ear drums are ringing. Out of the questioning words of his chicks, Philza pieces together an awful lot of questions about murdering you. Luckily he's calmed down, although is skewering you with a suspicious look and shoving all gold out of reach. Tommy gives you a slice of stolen berries with jam. Techno convinces Philza to fly you back down, and soon you are safely delivered to the ground. okay well the Ravengence is definitely doing a few fake out rolls and dive to scare the bejesus out of you, but you don't die.*

Lord, what fools these mortals be!!Philza: Ahh! A guest! How wonderful. You must be quite the powerful sorcerer! *The King of the Winter Court is an incredibly courteous host and provides a full feast of food you probably shouldn't eat. He is utterly and ridiculously convinced that you are a real witch, and blabbers on about spells and rituals that you somehow manage to bluster your way through a magically academic conversation, convincing him you're a magical genius in the process. You end up freezing to death sorry happens to the best of us. Honestly that's a good ending compared to what might've happened.*

Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home!Philza: *The door opens on a man leaning upon his cane. Philza nudges a giant fat pig, who grumbles upon the topic of festivals but showers upon you fruits and vegetables till your knees bow and buckel. Lo! What a bountinous blessing the gods hath bestowed! A bit of prompting and Technoblade boasts of how much work he accomplished that the earth would produce all it had to give.* It's a balance, mate. We must enjoy the fruits of our labor with celebration lest it be for naught.

A ghost is a tragedy reliving itself!Philza: *The old man welcomes you in. There is no choice. Forced into a comfy chair that you practically melt in. In time it becomes a refuge, some place soft to sink into as he fills you with warmth and food and relieves you of the burden of life. You come to the house more and more. The old man is always there, always kind, always welcoming. You come to the house more and more and more. Tired and worn out from the world outside, ache filling your bones, stiffening joints, greying hair. You talk of your woes to the young man, sinking into the chair once more, not quite able to recognize him. The dementia is getting to you. But he helps you around the house as it gets harder to walk, until at last one day he helps you sink into a comfy chair one last time. You never get up. The young man continues to talk kindly to your bones.*

Where, then, do your loyalties lie?Philza: I tell them that someone told me he was handing out full sized candy bars and blink very innocently. They grudgingly send me on my merry way.

Golden Apples (Gilded Atrophy)!Philza: I frown sadly, my hand still outstretched for the apple. The shine of it had called to me in a way no candy had ever done. I wait for a few moments, before sadly leaving.

Where Hearts Roost!Philza: I skip off happily, chatting to my now-living crow about how “I always knew witches were real!” The Carmel is the best I’ve ever had. The next year, I level up my costume, collecting the feathers my crow and his friends drop to make beautiful crow wings. I keep the cottage to myself, but I never stop looking for it. The crow seem to know the way back.

Mandatory Family Reunion!Philza: I skip away with my full sized candy bar, humming to myself. I asked the stalkers if they have any candy. they do not :(

Fault!Philza: “Thank you!” I respond brightly, waving as I turn away. “Happy Hallow’s Eve! Don’t let the spirits roam too far!” I skip away, wondering where the person had gotten their costume.

The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On!Philza: “Of course! Witches are great at keeping secrets.” I say confidently. “Happy Halloween!” I call as I skip away, wondering who the man was worried I would tell anyway.

116 East Normal Street!Philza: I am absolutely delighted to attend the tea party, resolving to keep this list on my route forever. I have a long conversation with the man, Philza, about the Salem Witch Trials, and exchange polite conversation with a few others. Strange people, but I felt more at home in that party than anywhere else.

Worth far more than your weight in gold!Philza: I landslide off onto the ground, giggling dizzily and thanking the Ravengence for not throwing me off. I unclip my golden necklace, offering it to him with a smile. “As payment! I saw your horde.” I tell him, before skittering off.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!!Philza: Totally worth it. Most fun I’ve ever had. Thankfully, I left a note telling my parents that this year I almost certainly wasn’t making it back. They probably won’t worry.

Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home!Philza: I thank the two of them profusely, stumbling off with my bounty. With the seeds I save from the fruits and vegetables, I manage to start my own little garden. I go back a few months later to ask for gardening tips, since the plants seem to be growing exceptionally well.

A ghost is a tragedy reliving itself!Philza: Best conversations I’ve ever had. Totally worth it.

* New student, very small. Grace said it was pebble. Pebble is small Earth rock. Pebble likes name.

* He found out Eridians have no gender rules.

* Students brought him mineral sample. After he stopped crying he said he loves show-and-tell game. Human naming conventions oddly literal.

* I told him Earthsun grew bright.

* I took him up atop atmosphere bypass elevator to look at stars.

* He woke up from nap and found me still with him. I did not wait on his chest; he says I am heavy like “elephant” and he “couldn’t breathe.” I laid my arm over him instead, kept him close, feeling safe. He said “cuddle” was warm.

* Before class he heard younglings singing.

* He has plants in house from sprouts on ship. Plant grew “bud.”

* Engineers got seawater temperature right. He took off shoes and stood in water, sighing. He didn’t care about pants getting damp. Cried until shirt was also damp. Humans very endlessly wet.

* He missed “Doritos.”

* Adrian helped food scientists make taumoeba dried paste. Made it crunchy after heating. We fused it into triangle form. Told him it was Tauritos. That made him laugh-cry. Laugh-cry is rare and precious.

* He remembered Eridians have no gender rules.

* We made him celebration outfit. Used metals he calls pretty. He can see frequencies named “colorful” and “shiny.” These make humans happiest.

* I gave him hug when he wasn’t expecting it. Easier to hug close now with exosuit. Hug when Grace sitting down so he does not fall over.

Dragons on the wing are vulnerable to being mobbed by smaller, more agile flyers, particularly in your large rear blind spot, like a bird of prey being mobbed by crows. Having a human armed with a long spear perched on your back helps to dissuade anyone from getting any funny ideas.

Breath weapons are impressive enough on the ground, but in flight they're really only good for strafing stationary targets; trying to use your breath weapon in an aerial dogfight is a good way to get fire up your nose. A real fight calls for sterner measures – and, concomitantly, a crew to aim and reload the cannons.

In today's competitive world, it's not enough to devour a flock of sheep and call it a day if you want to keep your edge. You're accompanied at all times by a qualified personal alchemist tasked with carefully regulating your internal furnace to ensure peak performance, and sometimes you even listen to them.

I miss you so much