beauty.

major: general biology 

minor: infectious diseases

clubs: part of chinese culture club with sicheng + tutors sometimes but he gets off-track easily, wont admit it out loud but attends the magic the gathering gettogethers often as well, extraterrestrial enthusiasts club

sports: he originally joined xiaojun for one of his ballet classes as a joke, but ended up really liking it and now he shows up regularly and the professor thinks hendery’s upbeat, chattery attitude is so “charming” and xiaojun just,,,,,,rolls his eyes like ma’am you don’t even know,,,,,,,,

hendery is a force to be reckoned with - not necessarily in a bad way, but if you aren’t a high-strung energetic type then 

it can be hard to keep up

but the truth is, hendery is just like that because he’s a natural born people-pleaser 

making others happy by making himself the goofiest he can be actually brings him a lot of joy

and he finds no shame in carrying the ‘class clown’ title from high school into his college years

he takes everything with ease, kun and xiaojun frequently ask if he’s being an idiot on purpose, and hendery just thinks its hilarious 

yangyang and yukhei usually just egg on his jokes and stunts 

yukhei likes to partake in them too 

but yangyang is a little too smart 

and wont take on any bet thrown at him the way these two will

and believe me, hendery’s got a record for it 

in his freshman year, he applied to a bunch of frats - only to see if he could past initiations 

getting pied in the face, lugging mattresses across the quad, standing up in the middle of class to profess his love to the professor 

all of those tests were easy-peasy ,,,,,, and even though he’d passed them all ,,,,,,, in the end he didn’t even join any of the frats

just thanked them for the “fun times” while the other recruits eyed him like he was insane

basically, he will do anything asked of him - especially if itll make for what he refers to as “good comedy”

if it really is “good comedy” you have to ask the spectators - and the people who end up being pulled into it - which more than often are either his friends or his classmates

so why general bio? and even weirder - why infectious diseases?

well as silly as hendery is, the silliness doesn’t translate well into art or literature 

like he tried his hand at poetry and pottery and other humanities 

and lets just say ,,,,,,,,,,, it didn’t work out

(he’s banned from the literature department)

science on the other hand,,,,,,,,

leaves much more space for silliness than hendery could have ever imagined

although its a lot of math and rigorous testing - hendery enjoys the adventurous part of science

he likes opening textbooks with colorful, kind of icky, diagrams

have you ever seen the inside of a cell? hendery thinks it looks like a clown maze at the amusement park - he loves it!!!

biology is one of the most hands-on sciences 

and when people in his intro course were gagging at the idea of disecting a frog

hendery was just like “leave it to me - even though i was only half listening to the professors instructions!”

and diseases are even more interesting to him

because their genetic makeup is so funny, and their scientific names are even funnier!!!!!!!

“hey xiaojun, you know what i learned about today? leptospirosis. LEPTOSPIROSIS - doesn’t it sound kinda like leprechaun!?!?!? i almost died laughing in lab!!!!!” 

xiaojun: how is that even funny

kun: just let the child amuse himself

sometimes people mistake his enthusiasm about his major as meaning he isn’t actually interested in it as a career

just taking part in it like some inside joke

but that’s far from the truth

hendery is actually a pretty proficient scientist when the topic intrigues him

and although hes loud and a little disruptive in actual lab

there are rare occurrences when you can find him quietly working on his results and papers

there’s nothing funny about making a mistake in science, hendery knows and understands that 

and even though he doesn’t tell many people it - he does have some interest in taking steps toward entering the medical field

but hes kept it a secret - because no one would take him seriously anyway so there isn’t any point in talking about it

when hes not in class, making the professor groan and the students snicker behind their laptops

he’s usually at someone elses dorm rather than his own

he’s almost always given an invite to a party, people are always calling him over to join them for late night drinking or karaoke 

because if hendery is there - it is guaranteed to be a good time

on multiple occasions, ten and kun have had to come to his aid

there was one time where hendery kind of totally overdid it and ten even had to facetime hendery’s mom 

she had given him an earful over the phone, thanking ten when she was finally done

and just as hendery thought he could scurry off, ten had told him he had his own lecture in store

hendery’s busy social life isnt a problem for xiaojun though, who he shares his dorm with

hendery’s gone most of the time so xiaojun dumps all his stuff in the closet and is happy to use the extra space for ballet practice

,,,,,,,,,,until hendery stumbles in at 4pm on a sunday and is like “hey!” before passing out directly on the floor

look me in the eyes and try and tell me hendery doesn’t have corny meme stickers on his laptop. you cant. 

although hes wild, and a hand full, his friends do really care about him

and when they’re all together 

kun and ten admit that hendery is extremely good at cheering them up

xiaojun and yangyang do have to agree that life would be boring without him

and sicheng and yukhei, who never interfere with his lifestyle choices, reveal that hendery is a good friend

when anyone needs something

hendery will jump through hoops to get it

and he’s usually up for taking the blame if something goes wrong

that’s exactly how you end up meeting hendery

back in highschool you two hadn’t ever interacted, mostly due to the fact that you had transferred in during senior year

and you were a bit on the reserved side

with an interest in quiet library’s and flying under the radar till graduation

while hendery was much more of a social butterfly 

with people begging for him to follow back on instagram or make it to their weekend parties

you had both existed in virtually different worlds - until you found yourself in a really, really, really bad situation

it had been the literal last day of highschool 

you were one hundred and one percent sure you had absolutely everything out of your locker, most importantly - your college acceptance letter

which was one of your proudest achievements, but also the only document with your student id notification which you’d need for registrations and the acceptance orientation

giddy as you walked out toward the bus, you rummaged around in your bag one last time

just so you could pull it out and read it all over again when -

you must have looked absolutely insane on the curbside, dumping everything out of your bag and digging around like a rabid animal

but it was gone - your folder with your letter, and not to mention your graduation certificate, GONE

you scoop everything back up and run back toward the school - you’re happy that you see a figure coming out of the front door

because that means you can still get inside

the boy brushes past you and the door shuts behind him - you pull at the bar and then he turns around, taking his headphones off

“oh, the schools closed. the janitor let me out but-”

your eyes are so wide and full of terror when you turn that hendery can’t even finish his sentence

you look like you’ve seen a ghost and he asks you whats wrong

“m-m-my- a-a-accept-acc- my-m-”

hendery doesn’t understand any of your muttering - so he does what he always does when his friends go into a stupor

he grabs you by the shoulders and gives you a good shake

you’re about to yell at him, but it actually lets you collect yourself for a moment

you turn and start feverishly banging on the door 

“what are you doing?!”

“you said something about a janitor - if he hears us he’ll let me back inside and i can get my letter!”

hendery sort of stares at you, for the first time he’s in the position where he looks at someone and thinks - seriously? are you insane, all this over some letter?

when usually he’s on the receiving end of such judgement

but either way, he tells you to stop - the janitor isn’t going to hear some loud bangs and come running

you guys are going to have to do something bigger to his attention

before you know it, hendery’s dropped his bag and circles around the school

you follow him, not sure of what else to do - but when he’d said you had to do something bigger, it sounded like he had a plan

and hendery does have a plan - he stops outside the large glass window right under the gym

“ok, you - go back to the front entrance. when the janitor steps out, run in through the door and get your letter.”

“how are you going to get him to step out?!”

hendery looks around, pushing aside some of the shrubs and picking up a rock

you look at it, then him, and then the window

“you’re not going to-”

he feigns offense, “destroy school property? of course not! now go - run to the front.”

you only half believe him, but you need that letter more than anything, so you circle back to where you started

it all happens in a blurry flash - you hear something shatter, you hear the door push open a minute or two later, you dash passed and down the empty halls

you’re so focused on getting your letter and getting the hell out of there that you don’t notice the voices outside or the big crack in the window as you’re running back 

with your letter in hand, you sort of disappear before you can get caught up in whatever hendery’s plan was

and hope that he at least got away too

the next time you see him is at freshman orientation

you’re surprised that this school was his choice and under any other circumstance you’d brush it away

but you’re itching to know

so when you approach him and ask, how did he help you out on that faithful day (does he even remember it?)

hendery grins, wide and bright

“of course ii remember it! the janitor caught me and ii had to do community service or pay a fine. spent half my time cleaning up garbage in a park because of you!”

the words aren’t malicious - actually he doesnt even look mad when you apologize for such a big inconvenience

instead he just tells you it was worth it - it took him sometime, but he figured that the letter you’d been going on about like crazy had to be something ultra important

you hadn’t even known this dude - and yet, he was talking to you like he had just done a favor for an old friend

since then, you’d grown closer to him 

and now you both where in your junior years - you’d become a part of his friend group and he had become someone so much more than just a stranger 

looking back at it - you’d never thought you and him would get along on such a deep level

but you did, and you suspected it had most to do with the fact that no matter how goofy or dumb his antics were

hendery had never and would never intend to hurt anyone 

in fact, he’d put himself in harms way first

and his loyalty was something lost on most people your age - you admired it 

sometimes, you were even jealous of the pure-natured almost naïve way he went about life

so now you’re sitting in his dorm, xiaojun is at his desk watching ballet recitles and you’re shifting through hendery’s messy pile of books and papers

“isn’t your lab due tomorrow - how did you manage to lose it?”

he rummages through his backpack and whines

“i didn’t loooose it- i bet kun stole it!”

“kun isn’t taking a bio class, you just probably tossed it out like always.”

“hey!”

you turn to see hendery’s signature pout, deep dark eyes big and hurt

“you’re making me sound so dumb!”

“hendery,,,,,,,sometimes - you are.”

he sticks his tongue out and you continue to look through the pile, your hands stop when they reach the thin, silver book that is your highschool yearbook

your copy is at home, you wonder for a second why hendery’s is here

“did you find it?!”

hendery bounds over and you cover it up quickly - giving him a playful shove away

“no, now keep looking - or else you’re going to have to re-do all fifteen pages tonight!”

he whines, but returns to his corner of the room. your fingers tap the stack of paper and you feel a weird wave of nostalgia hit you

it’s broken up as the door swings open to the dorm and sicheng walks calmly through it

he passes you a handful of crumpled papers

“found hendery’s lab report in our trashcan.”

you turn to glare at hendery who puts his hands up and grins

“oops?”

after you leave hendery to retype his lab, you find yourself thinking about that yearbook again

you’ve been hendery’s friend for almost three years now - but in highschool you guys hadn’t even spoken

you’ve never thought about it before, but it’s almost shameful that you lost all those years 

because hendery is a good friend, a lifelong friend

you and him could have had so many more memories together if instead of meeting on the last day in an almost comical twist of events

he could have been in your literature class, or you could have been his tutor and then you two could have just bonded like you did in college and become friends, even maybe-

lovers

you stop walking as the word flashes through your mind

“no, that’s just,,,,,,,silly.”

you toss the momentary curiosity to the side - if anything, ever since you started college you’d only had one crush on somebody

a crush so secret, you hadn’t even dared to write it down in your journal - let alone tell anyone

and you planned on keeping it that way

afterall, you had a degree to get and you were so - so close.

a couple of weeks later you find yourself handing in the last paper before a small spring break, you plan on going home when you get a call

hendery’s voice full of excitement

“whens your train home?” 

he asks, not bothering with a greeting - he’s probably the only person you know who likes to jump right into any conversation

“tomorrow, around three.”

“cool - so that means you can party tonight!”

you roll your eyes - that’s another thing you’ve gotten into since being hendery’s friends, parties

although they still aren’t your favorite pastime - you have to admit, they can be entertaining

and you and ten have sort of agreed that as the responsible ones, being at the party would at least mean hendery (and on most occasions yukhei) would have a safe way to get home

“maybe, depends on the party.”

hendery’s laugh is a sound so familiar - and so nice you sometimes think you can hear it forever and not grow sick and tired of it at all

“actually this time it’s at johnny’s place in the city! he finally got out of the dorms since he’s in graduate school now - but ten convinced him somehow.”

you know johnny suh, who doesn’t, a graduate student in film studies and super close friend of ten’s 

back when you and hendery were still freshmen, johnny was the one known on campus for being a little too wild

but now, hendery seems to have stolen the title

“well if it’s at his place I guess it’ll be pretty small, im just happy we aren’t going back to that frat.”

hendery makes a disgusted sound

“nah! that place was boring and remember how i almost punched that guy out for-”

“yes, i remember. what time should i be heading over?”

“ill pick you up at ten!”

you hang up and smile, something in your chest warms a little - a feeling you haven’t felt before 

sometimes he can be so crazy, and then sometimes he really is a gentleman 

the thought doesnt occur to you as being unique in anyway, and you try hard not to fester on that weird feeling in your chest

hendery is late - because of course he is - but you’re used to it and give him just a little bit of a scold as you two walk toward the metero

other than that the conversation is the same, plans, friends, potential people you’ll run into at the party, etc.

you and hendery stand close to each other on the subway, his hand comes up to hold your shoulder when the cart jerks or someone is pushing past you to get in

you poke the hole in his tshirt hem and mutter that he should at least ask xiaojun to sew it up

when you both get to the party, johnny is already half a wine bottle in by the flush on his face and the way ten is chasing after him 

sicheng and kun are there, mingling among themselves and waving you guys over

hendery says he’s going to join them and you’re about to step toward them to

when you feel someone tap your shoulder

you turn, and something in your body feels like it snaps

yukhei smiles at you and starts asking where hendery is - but you are looking over his shoulder at the person behind him

lee taeyong

the computer science major who had also studied alongside johnny at your college when you were a freshman

you had seen him when you had just started your first couple of weeks and that entire year had been like you were enchanted

he was an otherwise reserved, soft-spoken person

but his reputation was the unattainable heartbreaker - who would turn down confessions politely but with little to no regard

he was beautiful when you last saw him, and he was beautiful now - all this time later

whats he doing here? 

you’d been to johnny’s place before and had never seen him around, other graduate students sure but not taeyong

“ah! by the way - this is taeyong. he graduated but i met him because he’s here to-”

you bow a little and rush through the crowd toward the solitary confinement of the bathroom

to your luck, two voice shout from inside that its occupied so you escape to the stairs of the building - going up a couple of floors until the sound of the party is nothing but a drawl

you don’t know why, but seeing him hurts

it’s because he was the first person you ever really loved

you don’t get it too - your communications with him had been limited to a two time greeting in the computer lab late during finals week

you had seen him around, you’d once even followed him embarrassingly through the library

you knew nothing about him but his major and his beauty

so what made your heart fall so hard never really made sense

the way you’d felt was so confusing and therefore it made you so ashamed

you had thought about telling your friends to understand - why, but never did

and so you curl up a little and think that tonight its only a good idea for you to go

“ah! there you are - hey, are you crying?”

hendery’s voice breaks you out from your thoughts and you unravel a little to huff at him

“im not crying, im just -”

he sits down and puts a hand on your knee

“did some asshole try something, if you need me to get them let me know - you know how good ii am at rock throwing!”

the little inside joke makes you crack a smile and you shake your head

“its not that, i was just feeling a little cramped in there.”

he pulls to cans of beer from his jean pockets and sets them down

“that’s fine, we can party up here! just the two of us!”

you’d resist - but something about his cheer wins you over

you spend what feels like hours up there, hendery running back and forth between the flights to bring back more beer and snacks

you dont know how many cans are littered around you until your head falls against his shoulder

and if you were sober, you’d feel him tense up

“hey hendery - wanna hear a secret?”

you giggle and hendery turns a little, your eyes are glittering and your speech is just a little bit crocked

“sure, but ii think this should be your last can!”

he slips the beer from your hand - and you make a badly attempted reach for it that just lands your palm against his thigh

again, his body goes into alert, but you just keep going

“i have a crush on someone.”

you hiccup and hendery swallows - his heartbeat is a loud thudding in his ears

“o-oh yeah? on who?”

“wwwwwwwellllllll,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

you sit up and hendery looks at you again - you brace his shoulders

“taeyong.”

you hiccup and grin

“lee taeyong.”

with that you let go of hendery’s shoulders which have dropped anyway

you tilt your head back and hendery lurches forward to grab you when you start tipping over

your eyes close and you feel your head hit something soft - probably the front of hendery’s shirt

you whisper the next sentence, but hendery never hears it

“used to - i used to have a crush on him but now i think i,,,,,”

the words don’t come out but it doesnt matter, hendery touches your cheek with his palm and sighs

you’re out cold for now

and he says something you never hear too

“damn, and here i was. stupid enough to think you were going to say my name instead.”

 the incident doesnt come back to you - not even when you’ve had an advil and are drinking coffee in the morning as you pack for home

your group chat is talking about yukhei doing something weird and your other texts are normal

so you just assume ,,,,,,,, nothing happened

and that’s what it feels like 

until you’re back to classes after spring break and 

“soooooooooooo, a little birdie told me a secret over the break!”

you turn your head and look up to see yukhei

he plops himself down in the chair across from you and nearly sends the whole table shaking

you grab your laptop and coffee before it knocks over

“you and your giant knees need to be more careful.”

he waves it off and leans forward

“so, lee taeyong.”

your fingers, which had been diligently typing up your homework stop short

yukhei claps his hands and points a finger gun at you

“so you do like him! well, good news for you i got his number at the party and you guys are both all about work and school and-”

you shut your laptop and the noise makes yukhei’s voice shake for a second

“who told you about taeyong.”

yukhei scratches his head and leans back

“well i probably shouldn’t tell you but hendery. he heard taeyong and i got introduced by johnny so he thought i could help you-”

hendery?

something twists

hendery, did i tell hendery? when?

you stare into your lap and gasp

the party, i got drunk and i told him at the party and he -

“w-who else knows?”

yukhei waves his hand, trying to calm you down

“just the usual, but we all support it - im pretty sure taeyong is single and -”

he told, everyone?

a multitude of thoughts runs through your mind, but the biggest question is why

even if you were a little out of it, you know you wouldn’t have just told hendery to go about spreading your secret

you’re sure, even if its fuzzy, that if you confided in him - you would have made it somehow clear that no one else should know

and hendery was close enough to you, that if there was a chance you hadnt done that, he’d instinctively know

which only leaves one real explanation - hendery isnt your friend, he spilled your secret to humiliate you

all these years - all this time - was he just waiting for it? for the right moment to make you some kind of laughingstock?

you stand up and gather your things, you ignore yukhei’s confusion and when he tries to stop you - you just push past him

it must be for payback, he must have been actually so pissed about that stupid stunt he pulled for me in highschool. after all, he probably got a stain on his record because of it and so he plotted to make me look like a fool one day right - right!

your logical brain starts moving, making up more and more scenarios

he probably thought - oh why do I have to take the blame for some stupid stranger! but didn’t know what else to do so he befriended me and made him trust me

your brain runs like a crazed engine, but something in your chest fights against it

suddenly you think about it again

trust, hendery is the one person i fully trust. there isn’t any reason for him to hurt me

a glimmer of that hopefulness washes right away when you get a text from an unknown number

you stare at it and re-read it

the anger that had powered you before surges up through you again

‘hi, this is lee taeyong. your friend told me how you feel and while im grateful for the compliment - ii don’t want to let you pine for no reason. im currently not looking for a relationship, but lets be friends if the chance arises.’

what kind of stupid text is that - i don’t want to date you! im not some lovestruck idiot! why are you treating me like one? why did hendery make me out to be one? hendery - hendery - im never going to fucking forgive you

and you don’t - you block the number, you delete the contact, you know his schedule and you make it a point to avoid him at all costs

even his friends, who you thought were your friends once, aren’t immune from the cold shoulder

and so when kun ends up sitting beside you on the bus - you’re so damn headstrong about it all that you get off at the next stop

part of you knows this is childish, and you’re supposed to be the big adult - the responsible one

like you’ve always been

but 

but hendery isn’t even making an effort to reach out

actually, you think you’d probably haven given in by know if he’d called you or tried to reach you

he knows your schedule too so you thought hed track you down and at least ask whats going on

but he hasnt

which all you take is the fact that your point has been proven

this insane theory about how he’d befriended you for almost three years was just to find someway to get back at you in the end

and he’d done it! and he was satisfied! 

and it hurt

that’s what it was 

painful

after a while it was less and less about your stupid little crush on a senior, and more and more about the fact that you had lost you friend

a person who you thought would have your back forever

a person who the universe didn’t intend for you to even be near, to ever be close to

the opposite end of the spectrum and yet he had defied that all

and had left an impact on you that you thought would be with you forever

the blind kindness, the forgiving heart, the prone to accidents and silliness and just horrible decision making in general all for the sake of someone elses happiness

all of that had made you cherish him

at this point - you found yourself sitting up in bed - staring at the screen of your phone that used to ping nonstop with his texts

and realize you missed your friend

and worse of all

you missed your friend who you were starting to fall in love with

lee taeyong had been this ideal for you, beautiful and studios, the perfect match

you had daydreamed about bringing him home to your family, how he’d probably be so sweet and gentle 

but he was this stand-in, he was a dream that you thought you had

when in reality

your dream didn’t consist of the graceful, hardworking, flawless man

it was

as you closed your eyes and really thought about it

it was always hendery

clumsy, laidback, overflowing with flaws man that at the center of it all was crafted with a heart of gold

but was he? would someone like that really sell you out?

your answer comes just as the end of your junior is approaching, you’re so mentally exhausted from school and your own feelings

that you don’t have the time to focus on anything anymore but getting to your dorm and getting to bed

you accidentally drop one of the textbooks in your hand and when you reach down to get it - another hand extends for it too

you look up and 

oh god no, not right now!

“ah – hello.”

taeyong gives you polite smile and you barely have enough energy to reply with your own small nod

“how are you?”

please don’t do this to me, i don’t want to make conversation with you

“fine, and you?”

“good, work hard on your finals!”

you say you will and are happy that he ended it so quickly when,

“also, i am still sorry i couldn’t accept your feelings.”

the heavy blanket of tiredness suddenly feels like its aflame on your back

really, did you really have to say that?

some kind of newfound energy spikes up in you and you turn to him

“I know you’re my senior, but ii need to say something to you.”

he titls his head

“i don’t like you, i had a brief crush on you in freshman year but ii got over it. and no im not saying that to save face, ive already felt enough embarrassment about all this. ontop of that I don’t have time to crush on you - im in love with hendery and yeah, i can say that now because it doesnt even matter.”

“YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HENDERY?!?!?!?”

“YUKHEI?”

you pivot around so fast, this time all your books go flying

you hadn’t even noticed him in the haze of weakness and yet - there he is, right behind taeyong

like an unbound puppy he rushes up to you and grabs your hands

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE INTO TAEYONG!”

your instinct is first to tell him to not be so damn loud

but you’ve lost what pride you thought you had and yell right back at him

“NO IM NOT AND YES - I LOVE HENDERY - BUT HIS STUPID ASS HASNT EVEN TRIED TO TALK TO ME AND I HATE HIM, I LOVE HIM BUT I REALLY HATE HIM RIGHT NOW TOO!”

yukhei jumps up and down

you’re not sure he registered the last part of your sentence because something gleams in his eyes that you aren’t sure you like

taeyong shakes his head, quietly picking your things up 

“ah, these kids really,,,,,,,,”

you pace up and down your dorm room like mad scientist

why did I do that? why did ii yell that out to the whole campus to hear - what is wrong with me?!?

you check your phone, but there isn’t a call or a text

yukhei has probably blabbed about it to hendery right now - what is going on why is no one telling me what is going on

you pick your phone up and scroll through the blocked contacts, you unblock everyone 

and you do get a flurry of text - but none of them are from hendery

ugh, im so stupid - not only did he trick me into being his friend but now he knows how ii feel about him and is probably laughing about it

you stop and put your hands on your face and groan

fuck you hendery, no one in the world could make me feel this crazy but you

some more time passes and you’re now sure that you’ve just embarrassed yourself further

you spotted kun on the way to your last final yesterday and had almost waved at him like everything was all peachy

when it wasnt

and now as you were packing your things up to leave the lecture hall you almost jump from your skin when someone shouts your name

you look down and beside a shocked professor is 

hendery?!?!?

“DID YOU THINK YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GET TO SCREAM ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS?”

oh my god - what is this kid about to do

you watch in shock as the professor taps hendery’s shoulder, but is ultimately ignored

“YOU MADE ME GET ALL DEPRESSED FOR NO REASON - I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERENT EVER GOING TO SPEAK TO ME AGAIN AND THEN YOU JUST GO ABOUT YELLING THAT YOU LOVE ME? THATS NOT FAIR!”

you panic a little because the professor brings out his cellphone and hendery’s gotten in trouble for you before

you kinda think that’s going to happen now too

but,,,,,,but you want to hear what he has to say too

“ITS NOT FAIR SO IM GONNA DO THE SAME THING - GET READY BECAUSE IM GONNA LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT I - WON KUNHANG - AM IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO!”

just as he finishes, you see the professor put down his phone

your head spins, but you let your feelings be pushed to the side as you maddash toward hendery

the professor probably dialed for on-campus security, and whats worse is this idiot just said his full name! well - let me at least help him out like he helped me!

you grab hendery as soon as you get near him

looking him in the eyes and every part of you is screaming a million and one things

to yell back at him, to get angry, to tell him to fuck off, to tell him you love him to his face, to ask if hes insane for real

but you just

kiss him

the professor jerks back and you can feel hendery’s knees almost give out 

when you pull back you turn to the provfessor and smile

“we’re doing impromptu theater, was it any good?”

your bluff actually manages to work - the security gives you two a stern talking to and tells you to tell the theater club to knock it off with these “public disturbances”

you squeeze henderys hand behind your back when he tries to insist it wasn’t a performance, it was his true confession

until you’re finally free of the guard and you let him go

“you could say that kiss was fake all you want, but i know it was real.”

is the first thing he has the AUDACITY to say to you

and although you want to blow up

you want to ask him about how this all happened in the first place

you cant bring yourself to be mad

you just look at him and then sigh

“how’d it end up being you,,,,,,”

he shrugs his shoulders and suddenly his voice gets a little quieter

“i ask myself the same thing,,,,,,”

you furrow your eyebrows and huff

“excuse me? are you saying im not likable-”

he puts his hands up and shakes his head

“no, im just saying you’re right - we definitely aren’t the people we thought we’d fall for. ii mean c’mon, when you said taeyong that night - i just knew you know.”

“knew what?”

“that he was the right choice for you. im just a stupid kid compared to him, there’s nothing about me for you to fall in love with.”

he’s not lying, you can tell by the way his tone is soft and there’s a real self-hatered woven into it

your anger about whatever slips away because this is a side of hendery you knew existed but that you also knew he fought hard to not show

“hendery, you are stupid. you’re stupid because you legitimately think you’re inadequate of attention and love. do you know why you’re popular - its not because you’re so funny.”

he stands up straight and the serious look on his face is handsome, but it makes something sharp wedge in your heart

“its because you are one hundred percent selfless. and not for some kind of advantage, but because you really want to help.”

your shoulders drop a little

“i envy you, your hearts pure and your intentions are always good. living life that way is so beautiful, that’s the first thing about you that i feel in love with.”

a silent pause follows after

the rawness of the situation dawns on the two of you in a way you didn’t think would ever be possible

you’ve told a lot of things to hendery, you subconsciously spilled one of your biggest secrets to him

so it only makes sense that when it came down to this moment you’d really, honestly tell him everything

you feel as maybe you’ve made it a little awkward, lecturing him in a moment where you both have confessed when suddenly

you feel his hand take yours

that signature smile back on his face

“oh yeah? what else did you fall in love with?”

half of you wants to snap, the other half - the one that wins bursts out into laughter

the list is long, but in the moment you just answer

“the fact that you’re soooo good at throwing rocks!”

“hey, it is a charm!”

he leans in and his lips settle on yours, they’re warm and soft and you circle your hands around his neck

you had thought about what kissing him would feel like before - once just for fun, but recently for other reasons

you didn’t expect him to be so reserved, letting his lips sort of softly part only when you push a little closer to him

its a good second kiss, though you don’t think anything will ever beat your first lol

and nothing beats the story too - which makes it to the front of the student journal

(both you and hendery get a talking to from theater club who was NOT happy about you lying - but ultimately did like that you ended up together)

you are in perpetual embarrassment shock for a while

but hendery eats it up! - if anyone as much as mentions it he’‘s like 

“let me tell you the beautiful tale of our lov-”

and you have to clamp your hand over his mouth like lol sorry don’t mind him

even in the early stages of dating, you can tell that hendery is that kind of significant other

just like he is with friendships, he gives himself wholeheartedly to the other person

like yes, you just started dating and you know most people don’t start off shouting that they love each other 

but you guys are different and although you’ve somehow become a little shy of using the word

hendery is in it - you are his love, his lovely, his lovable, his capital L love of his goddamn life and if he doesnt get to say it a million times well then

he just isn’t trying hard enough

and although his affection is overflowing, and his love language is obviously expression

it is not smothering at all because in reality, you feel exactly as much as he does

its just that you show it off differently, but those who are your friends know

because hendery used to be able to do anything and everything

hence his notoriousness for being down for any dare

but your love language? protection

“no hendery, you are not going to drink hot sauce out of the bottle because yukhei said you couldn’t do it.”

“no hendery, you are not going to dress up like the shrek just because ten bought the costume on amazon”

“no hendery, you are not going to climb that fence - hendery get down!”

you aren’t trying to limit his free spirit - youre just worried

when you were just friends he was always in some kind of trouble, either with people in authority or covered in bruises and scraps from the aftermath of his silliness

you explained it once to him in the simpliest terms you could think up

squishing his cheeks between your palms youd looked him in the eye and said

“you are my boyfriend, and if you break your arm doing something dumb - what does that mean 1) your arm is broken and 2) you cant hold my hand with that arm so that sucks for me and you - right?”

to be honest you could dangle holding hands or kisses as leverage and hendery will give up on the spot

because lets be honest, he cannot live a day without at least giving you some kind of physical affection

the boy is a bursting pile of cheesy love - and you really try not to use that against him 

because it really is so wonderful and pure

but if he wants to do something dumb you will put your palm out when he leans in to kiss you and he will get all fretty like a big baby

kun at some point: don’t you feel like youre a dog owner with a big, misbehaving puppy

you: no, not at all.

kun: really?

you: at least a misbehaving puppy listens sometimes

kun: ah, i see

hendery’s kind of dates include a lot of latenight fast food runs and showing up to your dorm with the excited news that he got a hold of someones netflix password so you guys can binge corny tv shows

you thought he’d be the type to want a new adventure everyday, but surprisingly enough, hes very VERY content with staying in and just snuggling

not to say you two don’t have some very memorable and slightly embarrassing date stories 

ahem, that one time hendery got you bubble tea and you were waiting outside and he said “look I can balance both our drinks on my head!”

of course he spilled them all over himself

and you two used up all the napkins in the store before escaping the cashiers glare into a nearby store to get hendery a new tshirt

hendery isn’t super flashy by the way, his clothes are mostly comfortable basics, and he likes a bit of an oversized fit

so when you wear them they’re extra loved and cozy

hendery gets a bit fidgety the first time you do it - and you really cannot tell why

you wonder if he doesnt like you borrowing his clothes, but then you roll over a little to cuddle against him and he freezes

and you’re like 

oh, that’s why

hendery - although loud and energetic in all other aspects of life - is a pretty bashful lover

his hands are always a little shaky and he waits for you to lead in with anything more than kisses

and you actually think its very, very adorable 

because he gets this kinda dreamy look in his eyes and his voice gets softer

and when your lips are on his collarbones its like the only thing he can even do is whisper your name against your hair

its a side you enjoy keeping all to yourself, and hendery is so thankful because oh my god no one would let him live it down

xiaojun gets a little grumpy that you and hendery are always around more - but he likes you as a person

(to him, youre the only person who can really keep hendery’s ambitiousness incheck)

so he lets it slide

plus you finally got hendery to stop coming around to his ballet practice, because you refuse to let hendery do so until he finishes his labs

and you know hendery is smart, you tell from the way he can offhandedly answer questions about his major 

and even though he has this idiotic habit of dumbing himself down for comedy

seeing him run up to you and show you the first perfect score on his lab, it really makes you swell with pride

and his interest in infectious diseases and all the weird diagrams of micro-organisms and whatnot doesnt phase you

actually his passion for it makes you excited to listen to him talk

and ten is like ew that thing looks like a bug

and youre like “listen to me, if hendery thinks the cell membrane is cute then you say its cute. ok. or. else.”

gosh when you guys get together - theres this energy that is so ,,,,, sweet - its almost a little dizzying

because its obvious that these feelings you two can so freely show to each other now have been piling up for a while

and now its free reign

sometimes hendery’s bangs get long and hell lean in to kiss you but his hair will tickle you first 

and you always do this like giggle and hiccup when you get tickled

and hendery once blinks and goes

“you know your hiccups are number 105 on the list of things I love about you”

and you laugh because lol wow do you really have a list

and hes like pffft no

(he has a list, it is in his iphone notes)

hendery the type of boyfriend who spends like five weeks planning a celebration for your anniversery

but on the day off hes like F I cant do this and abandones all his plans

and just shows up in front of you with twelve different bundles of flowers and ten different stuffed animals

and is like

“I know you really like roses, but also you said you liked sunflowers when we went to that farm and i know your a cat person, but you also like wolves so I got you-”

he just really really really wants to make you happy

and sometimes you can tell that he thinks he doesnt

that he compares himself to people he thinks are better for you

and that’s when you’re just like hendery, look at me - its you. its only going to be you.

because the universe might have felt like you two didn’t fit, but its so obvious you do

you made up a rule that if hendery tries to talk down about himself he has to do ten pushups with you on his back

but you never actually make him do it ,,,,, you just spend like an hour telling him he’s so dumb - because you are so in love with him

as you guys go into senior year together, hendery becomes your biggest cheerleader and you become his

and seriously you two could get through anything togther

one afternoon, as you’re walking back from class and hendery slides his palm into yours

you see johnny and taeyong across the ways - they’re picking some people up or something and taeyong notices you two

he waves

and you both wave back

when you get to your dorm and you curl up in hendery’s arms, you feel him play with the ends of your hair

“I never asked you, why did you tell everyone about my crush on taeyong?”

“when you said you liked him, I thought you meant like in the moment - and so I thought I could get yukhei to set you two up.”

“but didn’t you already have feelings for me?”

hendery smiles a little against your hair

“yeah, but nothing mattered more to me than making you happy.”

you clutch the front of his shirt a little - the sentence makes you want to cry

from happiness, but also because of course - you had jumped to conclusions thinking he’d done it to hurt you 

but its hendery, of course he only did it to help

“wanna know something dumb?”

hendery moves back a little so he can look at you better

“hmm?”

“ive always wished we knew each other better back in highschool - maybe then we’d have more time and none of that would have happened. maybe we could have fallen in love all those years ago.”

he scrunches up his nose and you sit up

he follows suit and takes your hands in his

“yeah but - it was worth it. and hey, if we’d been buddies or whatever you might have never left your letter in that locker and ii would have never gotten to throw that rock through the window.”

you roll your eyes

“reall-”

“that was a stupid thing to do, and its the only stupid thing ive done that im so happy i did.”

you let yourself fall forward, right into his arms, they’re warm and they feel so perfect around you

“oh - and shouting out how much i love you in front of your whole class. that’s another stupid thing im proud of.”

◕‿◕

“my heart wouldn’t have been able to handle it anyways”

warnings: language, terminally ill! mark, i’m very sad tonight so here’s a look into the kind of writing i really admire, i don’t want to spoil anything, so i am avoiding some warnings, but keep in mind that it is a hospital themed post, involving cancer and illnesses, and a terminally ill floor.  but good luck

Pairing: NCT Johnny ♡ Female!Reader

Description: When a high school reunion drags you back from the bustling city to your hometown, you can’t help but feel inadequate compared your friends’ settled lives, who have thing you want most— kids. You may get your most desperate wish when your long-lost best friend sweeps into town, not quite the introverted nerd he was from 10 years ago.

Genre: high school reunion au smut | romance  WC: 16k Warnings: graphic smut (Dom! Johnny + Sub! Reader, dirty talk, !!!pregnancy kink!!!, unprotected sex, oral sex, rough sex, bulge kink, slight exhibitionism, footsie, slight cum eating, overstimulation), mentions of adultery

Pairing: Lee Jeno x female Reader Genre: fluff, smut; High School!AU

Word Count: 10K+ Warnings: Thigh riding, fingering (RinGS), Hand Kink, handjob, dirty talk, dry humping and all of that is happening in a (parked) car; cursing. A/N: Hey! Are you somebody who feels uncomfortable with reading 00 Liner’s smut? Then don’t read it! That’s how easy it is; I’m a 00 liner myself so I’m absOlutely okay with writing/reading their smut but if that’s not the case for you; please just - skip it. Love u !!

Your relationship with Lee Jeno has always been quite - different.

There is this rivalry between the both of you, which makes it impossible for you to actually get along with one another. It’s not like your number one goal is to be the school’s best student, but it’s his and his urgent need to be better than you has come to a point where even things like breathing seem to be a challenge for him. You admire him though. His ambition is something you’ve never seen because the people around you usually try to not overdo anything, but he’s different. It would be the absolute truth to say he’s the reason you sometimes sit down and study a tiny bit longer than usual. Without him you might have had different grades; still good but not as good and satisfying as the ones you have now. There were times when you definitely did think about asking him if he wanted to be your study partner but for some reason he doesn’t seem to like you. Probably because you are, indeed, a competitor for him and while you tend to see the good things about always being challenged by someone else, he views it as the worst thing on this planet. Every time you walk pass him, his incredibly cute (eye) smile disappears and some kind of different emotion finds him and he turns absolutely mad.

[8:14pm]

Huang Renjun – Smut

Boyfriend!Au

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Oral (male receiving), dom!Renjun, face fucking/deep throating, rough sex.

Request: Requested by anon – Reader makes Renjun jealous and teases him until he can’t take it anymore and takes her to his room.

  The moment you stepped through the threshold of the NCT Dream dorm you had already decided you wanted to tease Renjun. The inkling of the idea had popped into your head when Jaemin was the one to answer the door to let you inside. You couldn’t deny how handsome he looked in his comfortable clothes. With his pink hair laying fluffy against his forehead, his black adidas joggers showing the length of his long legs, and his white t-shirt tight against his biceps. Renjun was nowhere to be seen as you and Jaemin greeted each other, so with a cheeky smirk you leaned close to Jaemin’s ear and whispered into his ear your evil plan. He pulled his signature cheeky grin and nodded enthusiastically, overjoyed at the thought of winding up his older brother.

“Follow my lead little one. Pretend you’ve hurt your foot or something.” He mumbled as he ruffled your hair, scooping you up into his arms in a bridal carry and causing you to squeak loudly in surprise. He carried you through the dorm until you got to the living room, gently laying you on the sofa. “She tripped and hurt her foot.” Jaemin spoke with dominance in his tone, sitting by your feet and pulling them onto his lap. Renjun, sat on the opposite sofa furrowed his eyebrows and jumped up, sitting beside you quickly. 

summary: you’re nervous to go to this party, but you want to be there nonetheless, and when you meet the attractive and intriguing Xiaojun, you just want to have more of him

words: 6,093

pairing: xiaojun x reader

tags: halloween au?, semi-public, fingering, halloween party

This party was perhaps a bad idea.

You didn’t know anyone here at all, you were just looking for an excuse to dress up for the holiday, and when you overheard two frat guys talking about it in the library, you decided to give it a try.

You were in university, and for the first time in your life you didn’t have anyone to tell you to not go to the Halloween frat party dressed in the skimpiest costume you could possibly be comfortable in public in.

You were trying to branch out and try something new, maybe do someone new. Who knows, the whole night was ahead of you and shrouded in an air of mystery, as Halloween nights are meant to be.

13k words | wong kunhang (hendery) one shot [blueming] | moodboard

genre ➛ romance, slow burn, skater/stoner! au, strangers to friends to lover! au.

| ✎ You waited for Hendery, you waited for him for such a long time, holding such a great hope, that flowers started blooming in your chest. 

— warnings ➛ please, listen to iu’s blueming before reading for a better and more open minded experience ♡

— disclaimer ➛ This is a work of fiction. I do not own famous character(s) such as idols and my writings are in no way meant to show these people’s real nature and/or offend them in any way. You can not copy or translate my writings without my permission.

– around 4k

– friends to lovers with jeno // fluff, was supposed to be the one inspired by nct dream’s ‘walk you home’ but i made the intro so long i don’t even know anymore

jeno was always clingy. jeno was always quiet. jeno was always insecure. but he was also all you’ve ever wanted.

(a/n) hi! it’s me again hehe,, this gif of jeno is absolutely gorgeous and made my day and my entire life and blessed me i’m suddenly happy forever i love him,, aNYWAYS i’ve been meaning to write something to do with dream’s ‘walk you home’ because it might or might not be my favourite dream song (it really is) but it,, just transformed into…this thing? i tried to make it the fluffiest possible though, for @neomrk my sweet angel hoping she’d recover quickly :cc thanks for motivating me to finally do this because i was procrastinating so much!! i hope you’ll enjoy this (and won’t be too disappointed jnfkern) // also thank you for almost 100 notes on my jaemin fic, i really appreciate it ♡

Jeno has always been a clingy person. In fact, one of the first things you had registered about him was that he could never let Jaemin leave him for more than five minutes. You and Jaemin were childhood friends, although separated for a couple of years after you two graduated primary school – your mother has gotten a job offer she couldn’t decline, and you moved to a different city. It was definitely not easy to see each other when you were middle schoolers, and you were both glad to be living in such a technologically advanced era; thanks to the power of the internet, as well as cellphones – which you got after you begged your mom for months to buy you one, only to be able to call your best friend every now and then – you stayed pretty close throughout the years, without really seeing each other. Of course, as time passed by, it was much easier to do; not only using low quality webcams, but also spending rare weekends together, either at your house or at his, and the distance between the two cities seemed reduced every time you found yourself getting on the bus or waiting for him at the terminal.

Which wasn’t to say that you were most pleased at the arrangement you had to make not to lose your friend. You would much better prefer to stay at your old place, so much closer to Jaemin – and your other friends for that matter – and every place you knew and adored. But you knew you could not do much, and so, you patiently waited to grow up, and finally be able to make choices for yourself. You did not suffer for long, though, as you found yourself moving back to your natal city at the beginning of your second year of high school. It was a sudden decision, and you weren’t even sure how it came about, but you were pleasantly surprised, to say the least. You didn’t tell Jaemin, though. You wanted to surprise him, see his reaction live, and in person. It was hard to keep a secret from him, but you kept the news to yourself, until your first day at your new school. You already knew it was the same place your friend attended, from the countless stories he’d tell you every night you called him, and every weekend you spent in his company. He’d tell you about his closest friends, a close clique they established at school, composed of him and six other boys he would often describe as fun and good looking – although you never saw them outside of the numerous pictures Jaemin sent you.

Nonetheless, you had to agree to the only adjective you could check from his descriptions – they were very handsome indeed. And despite the occasional memes Jaemin would make of them, or the rare ‘ugly’ pictures – as he’d call them – you could never say the opposite. There was just something charismatic, hypnotizing almost, about them, and you dreamed of knowing more about them – not only through your friend’s stories, but for yourself. And so, you were more than ecstatic to attend their school, hoping Jaemin would be nice enough to at least introduce them to you.

Fortunately for you, that was exactly what your childhood best friend did, as soon as he got over his shock and multiple waves of joy and half-hearted reproaches for keeping such a secret from him, and for so long. You were in the same class, and so was Renjun, the first member of his friends’ group you got to know. The introductions were fast, and the boy welcomed you with a friendly smile. “Jaemin told us a lot about you.” he said, and it warmed your heart a little.

With the long bell that announced lunch period, you could finally meet the five other guys you’d soon become so close to. One of them was a senior, Mark, as he liked to be called, who you quickly deemed a weird, but nice person. He would graduate this year, and he seemed ambitious enough to apply to the better universities in your region – which he’d later do, successfully, to pursue music. There were two boys younger than you; one of them being Chenle – the one with an ear-piercing laugh you’d recognize kilometers away – and his closest friend, Jisung – a child prodigy, really; he had the brains but he was also really fit (as you’d quickly come to know, he danced for a studio in your neighborhood). He was a year younger than Chenle, which would technically make him a middle schooler, but, as he explained, he skipped a grade (because he was judged 'too intelligent’ and 'too advanced in the material’ and told that he’d be too bored if he decided to go onto the next grade normally). You’d quickly come to like that kid, with the way he’d be so vulnerable when it occurred to him he didn’t know something for once and had to ask for help – it happened more than once, after he opened up to you. He was particularly awkward when interacting with other people, and didn’t really have any friends outside Jaemin and the others; he didn’t know much about love or friendship, and he was sometimes scared the boys would judge him for that – that’s when he came to you for advice, and you felt honored he’d think of you as someone he could trust that much, and someone who had enough knowledge to help him. You blamed your maternal instincts for your urges to hug him every time he seemed too upset or way too stressed out.

There were also two more boys from your grade – the first one was called Donghyuck, a boy with a voice much nicer than you’d associate with his face or personality. He was loud – though not louder than Chenle, but who could ever beat that kid – and mean – at least so you thought at first. He was definitely a sarcastic one, and a little bit of a bully to everyone he was close to – and maybe just everyone in general. He was smart, though, and he proved himself to actually be helpful from time to time. He also had a weird obsession with Mark, but who were you to judge.

And then there was Jeno. Jeno was quiet, and he appeared to like to keep to himself. You’d notice that, even though he seemed to hide it well, as he’d laugh as often as the others, and he’d share his own thoughts or stories regularly enough. There were a couple of topics he seemed much more enthusiastic talking about, but you’d come to see him as one who told more through his actions than he did in words. And maybe that’s why him clinging to his friends was seen as more endearing than annoying, even when he would not let Jaemin get some personal space for most of the day. His body language was more obvious than you’d expect it to be, and you could soon decipher most of the messages he sent with his touches, as well as guess his mood most of the days. You’d clearly see his sadness right away – he wouldn’t cling so much to anyone, and would talk even less; you’d quickly notice his anger – he would rarely yell, he was more the passive aggressive type, but it was definitely not for the better: he’d distance himself both physically and in general, and he’d talk way more than he did on a daily basis. He’d even let some sarcastic remarks leave his mouth when he was really fired up – which was why you were sure he not only had a good memory, but was paying more attention to all your conversations than anyone would expect him to. Additionally, you deemed Donghyuck to be a bad influence for him.

Jeno was not only reserved, but also quite insecure. You did not know, at first, for the very good reason that you didn’t really know him at all, but he let some hints drop along the way that paved your friendship. The way he’d quickly shake his head when anyone called him handsome, how he tried his best to avoid taking pictures, and how he’d often refer to himself as boring. You would never suspect him to be as insecure as he was, and it saddened you a whole lot, which was why you never failed to compliment him daily – or whenever you could, really. You unconsciously laughed harder at his rare jokes, observed him closely to see any change in his appearance you could comment on, and you often reaffirmed his position and importance not only in the group, but also in your heart.

Jeno was always clingy, and as clingy as Jaemin was flirty. Which was, to be completely honest, a lot to take in. Granted, he never even dared touch you when you first met him – which was not only reasonable, but also very nice of him – but he slowly opened himself to you as he started to welcome you with his hand on your shoulder and a wide smile that transformed his eyes into crescent moons (which you came to realize was one of your favourite things to see, and the reason you woke up every morning happy to go to school). The boy smiled a lot, and you thanked the universe for making that sight so frequent. He’d take you by the forearm, or your wrist, sometimes, when he wanted you to hurry up, or when he guided you somewhere – he could be a brave one, but he never went for the hand with you, although he held the other boys’ hands quite often, as if to respect either your boundaries or the social norms (you never knew which one; maybe it was a matter of his insecurities as well). He was a truly complicated one to understand, or so you thought every time you went back to the moments spent with him. He didn’t hold your hand, he never did, but he sometimes played with your fingers when he was lost in his thoughts (a habit that appeared only when you two became really close, almost as close as he was with Jaemin). He would sometimes hug you when you told him how unnerved you were, every other day even daring to comb your hair carefully with his fingers. It wasn’t unusual for him to lean on your shoulder, or even lie in your lap on the days when he felt a bit more brave – but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to even touch your knee.

And for some obscure reason, that made you deeply sad on your worse days. You didn’t really know why, but you wanted to experience the accidental knee or shoulder bumps with him, something he made sure wouldn’t happen; you wanted him to hold your hand when he dragged you down the corridor to show you the day’s menu in the canteen; you wanted him to find the courage to leave his hand on your thigh when he listened to your endless rants. Jeno was a good listener, but you wanted to hear his voice more, which was why you often forced his favourite topics into the group’s conversations, which you were sure everybody noticed, but you didn’t care – because it was the only thing you actually succeeded at, making Jeno talk.

Jeno was always clingy, and it was for this exact reason you felt worried for a couple of weeks now. The boy you though you had become close to suddenly stopped clinging onto you without any warning, as if you had done something to lose his trust. You had judged it to be sadness at first, but you’d cross out that theory barely seconds after, when he’d stick like glue to Jaemin once again. And so you knew it was your problem only – he acted the same with everyone else, and nothing really changed, other than his attitude towards you. He didn’t seem angry at you, though; he would talk to you normally, tell you the things he always did – but he avoided looking in your direction or standing too close to you.

You honestly wanted to scold him for what he did – or rather for what he did not do – but you knew you couldn’t. You were absolutely not in a position to be annoyed at him, and so you would just overthink everything that happened in a desperate attempt to understand your friend. Sometimes you just wanted to ask him directly, step in front of him and look him in his eyes, so that he could not escape the question, “what have I done wrong?”. It was simple, but for some reason you didn’t dare try.

And as time passed, and as you confessed your worries to your childhood friend, you understood what was happening to you – why you were so irritated by Jeno’s sudden change, why you couldn’t say anything in regards to that, and why you were worried by some explanations you could think of. Because it could be simpler than you’d originally believed – maybe he finally found someone he liked a lot, maybe he didn’t want them to misunderstand, for you were his only female friend he would cling to as much as the boys. And it would be a happy reason, really, because what else could you hope for, for the happiness of your friend, than that he found love – but it repelled you, the idea of him changing himself to get the attention of someone, the idea of him distancing himself from you for such a trivial reason; and what you hated even more was the simple idea of him with someone who wasn’t you. You simply liked him, and you easily accepted you feelings – not that you were planning on telling him anytime soon (or just ever, really, especially now that the situation was so uneasy between you two).

Not that you didn’t want to – in reality, a small part of you still hoped he’d return your feelings, despite how unrealistic the scenario was. Even now, you could think of a dozen of ways to confess; it didn’t have to be an elaborate plan – you only needed to stop your already slow steps and clear your throat so he would turn to you and give you his attention, and from there, it could be history – but you wouldn’t even try, and so you smiled slightly, keeping your head low and jogging up to Jeno who apparently sped up while you weren’t paying too much attention.

Despite his awkward behaviour around you, Jeno refused to let go of your small tradition of walking you home. Granted, it was nothing big and it didn’t require anything from him, really, as the boy lived quite near you and would walk the same way until your house anyways. But he could well stop waiting for you after school, he could act like he didn’t know you in the bus – all of which he didn’t, and you were extremely glad. It soon became your favourite moment of the day, as well as the only moment you’d share with Jeno alone. He’d usually let you get off the bus first and follow you quickly, and you would chat all the way up to your apartment building, where you’d bid your goodbyes and wave at him as you climbed the stairs and unlock the door – then you’d turn your back to him and try your best not to look back.

Today didn’t seem much different from all the other evenings after school, with you looking sadly at every bench you passed by, and as you two approached the gray apartment complex, your conversation slowly died down and you could feel the awkwardness in the air. You two were quiet for the next couple of steps, until you reached the stairs. One step, one that you had trouble putting down on the sidewalk, one that made your heart faintly heavier. A second step, which you felt was a waste as nothing was exchanged between you and your friend anymore. A third, hard step, which left you way too close to the stairs for your liking. And a fourth step, one that made you extremely sad as it announced the end of your daily one on one time with the boy you liked. You bitterly smiled to yourself as you held your hand up to wave at Jeno, ready to say goodbye. Your eyes were fixated on a small crack in the stone you were standing on, your head low in an attempt to hide your disappointment at the unchanged routine.

“It would have been nice if your house was farther from the bus stop.” the boy suddenly said, stopping you from saying anything or turning your back to him. You looked up at him, surprised – he never really said anything other than a simple 'bye’ or 'see you at school’ in these moments, but there he was, attempting to make a conversation at the last second. Confused, you tilted your head to the side and gave him a questioning gaze; from what you knew, your house wasn’t that close to the bus stop – you two usually walked together for at least half an hour when your strides weren’t too small. “It’s just… It’s so nice to hear you talk and laugh as we walk together,” he explained quickly, although he seemed unsure of his own words. “I just feel like it’s not enough…” he added quietly, hanging his head low and scratching his neck.

At first you didn’t know what to say. Then, you just laughed slightly. “Silly, you’re going to hear me talking again on Moday. That’s soon enough, isn’t it?” you replied, though your answer seemed forced – it was just as unsure as his former explanation. You truly had no idea what he meant when he said these words, nor what suddenly went into his mind for him to stop you like that – and so you ignored the situation by brushing it off as fast as you could. “See you next week, Jeno, get home safe!” you proceeded to say as you turned around and climbed up the stairs in a record time. You were about to reach for the padlock that opened the door, but you were once again forced to stop by Jeno’s voice, this time calling your name hurriedly.

“Wait!” he added, and you listened, freezed with your hand half unfolded in the direction of the padlock. You didn’t look behind you, but you could hear his rushed steps coming closer and soon you were surrounded by his body heat. You took a while to understand the situation, which was the reason for you not noticing his arms sliding around your waist as he stood as close as he could to your figure, cheek against your back. “Jeno?” your voice was quieter than you intended it to be, but way calmer than your heart – the latter pounding like crazy in your chest, a sensation you were sure the boy could easily feel now that he was glued to you. Jeno had apparently no intention of letting you go easily – as if to reward your patience for the past month or so –; he resorted to hum lowly in response – a sound that vibrated against your back and took over you for a second or two, making your mind go blank. “A-Are you okay?” you asked, this simplest question being the only one you could form in your current state of mind, as you focused the best you could on calming down your heart.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized quietly, nuzzling up to your neck – the two actions having such opposite influences on you, you had to fight your softer side not to lose the chance to get any sort of clarification behind all of what happened recently. And so you fought the urge of turning to him and holding him close when you felt his slow breath against your skin, opting for a way too dry tone as you finally recuperated your energy to ask him to explain. “And what are you sorry for?” you started simply, and you could tell he was prepared for this kind of treatment when he didn’t back off, or even move at all. He only let a sigh out of his mouth, but it only irritated you more. “Care to explain?”

He stood there, silent, for a while, then pressed his forehead against your shoulder and nodded delicately. “I’m really sorry, I just wasn’t sure of what I should do… and I know everything I did didn’t seem to bother you but I figured it would still be for the better and it would be easier for everyone…” he muttered but you weren’t able to follow his reasoning. “Wait, wait. You, you what? Would you be nice enough to throw in some more details, Lee Jeno?” you blinked in confusion a few times, which he obviously couldn’t see, but your voice betrayed enough your puzzlement. Jeno groaned, hanging his head even lower as if to hide it, embarrassed. “I’m talking about you and Jisung!” he let out in a frustrated, muted scream.

That’s when you lost it. You did not understand what he was talking about, much less what Jisung had to do with the relationship between you two. You let out a disoriented “huh?” and slowly turned in his embrace to face him. He clearly wasn’t pleased by the action, losing his hideout which left him with no other option than looking straight at you. He avoided your eyes swiftly, nervously looking around. “You know what I meant, don’t make me say it–” he hissed, particularly interested in an ant running around his feet. Your silence forced him to continue, although he appeared to be wanting to run away as soon as he could. “I know that you like Jisung, and he obviously likes you back, and I should be happy for my friends and respect some boundaries, shouldn’t I– I would hate it too, if my friend was constantly glued to the person I like, 'cause, I mean, who wouldn’t be?” he fidgeted with his hands a lot, a clear sign of nervousness. “And I thought it’d be easier for me as well, if I stopped clinging to you so much, maybe I’d come to terms with my feelings sooner and I would be able to cheer for you two sooner– but I missed you so much, and it was so hard to keep you at a distance when all I really wanted to do was to hold your hand and I just–” he didn’t finish his sentence, and the volume of his voice decreased with every word he said.

You honestly couldn’t believe your ears when you heard his story, and maybe if you weren’t so angry and happy at the same time, you would laugh loudly until your stomach and cheeks would hurt to death – but you were still too uncertain of what he really hinted at throughout his monologue. You were hoping, however, that you recovered your luck along with your joy at the misunderstanding, and maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe you were always that brave, deep inside, but you mustered up your courage and whispered softly: “maybe you should do it now, then.”

And at that, his head shot up instantly, searching your eyes for any indication that you were joking. You were dead serious, however, which you emphasized when you looked at your hand and moved it a little towards the boy. He hesitantly reached for it, his own hand tense as it finally touched yours. You smiled, content, and looked up at him once again to reassure him. “I thought you were smarter, Jeno”, you started, which seemed to startle him because you could feel him preparing to withdraw his hand from yours, “but you’re really silly sometimes, you know?”. He laughed awkwardly and pulled his hand back to his side, but you caught it rapidly, refusing to let it go. “Jisung is like a little brother to me, I would never love him that way, ever. It’s just… kind of disgusting, don’t you think? Besides, he has a crush on a girl from his grade. I though you knew, he’s made it so obvious.”

You tugged his hand towards you, almost making him trip, but successfully bringing him closer. You still had a wide smile on your face, and you couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. You felt him loosen up, which you took as your cue to interlace your fingers together. You sighed in relief and leaned your head against his chest. “So, does that mean we’re okay now? Can we go back to how it was before?” you asked timidly. He brought his free hand up to your hair and patted your head gently. “Actually… Do you have plans for tomorrow?” You bit your lip and shook your head lightly.

“I was thinking… maybe I could pick you up at two tomorrow… you know, like, for a date.” he coughed a little, awaiting your response, and despite the only source of light being the street lamps a few meters from you two, you were sure you could see a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks when you looked up at him. You grinned as you nodded enthusiastically. “You should… go now, I guess. It’s getting late– and you should get some rest for tomorrow.” he smiled sheepishly, letting you go. You huffed in discontent, but entered the code to open the door nonetheless, glad to have the Jeno you knew back. You turned around to wave at him and wish him a good night, which accepted with a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’ll watch you go in! Sleep well.” he replied, not moving an inch when you turned around once again, this time behind the glass door. You walked backwards until your back hit the elevator, and you both laughed and mouthed goodbye once again.

pairing: Wong Yukhei (Lucas) x female Reader Genre: social media AU; angst Word Count: 4.5k Warnings: cursing, trust issues, suggestive make-out session, jealousy, slightly possessive aggressive behavior Summary: When you leave your hometown in order to go to college, you expect everything but definitely not falling in love with your best friend’s older brother…

Pairing: Kim Doyoung X Reader Rating: 18+ Genre: smut, angst; Husband!Doyoung; CEO!Doyoung Word count: 5.9k Warnings: Dom!Doyoung; Sub!Reader, Spanking & degrading names, impregnation kink (A/N: The degradation in this one is quite heavy and there are indications of infidelity so please be aware of this. Feel free to leave any kind of feedback and thank you so much for everything. Z.)

summary; lee donghyuck is your polar opposite - he’s mouthy and careless and a troublemaker at heart, while you’re the dictionary definition of a goody-two-shoes. therefore, when you’re assigned to tutor him, you’re sure that you’re doomed… unless you’ve made some miscalculated assumptions.

pairing; lee donghyuck/reader

genre; badboy!hyuck, highschool!au, tutor!au / fluff, angst

word count; 8k+ 

warnings; slight violence, blood mentioned, language

a/n; been having feelings for bad boy! hyuck recently and had to get it out… i hope this flows together well since it’s spread out over time, not just a single event to how i’m used to writing. please enjoy my loves <3

When you signed up to partake in the tutoring program at your school, it was originally just because your guidance counselor said it would look good on your college resume in the future. You were good at a number of subjects, you supposed, so what could you possibly have to lose? In a college’s eyes, you not only just a good student, but you give your time to help others - Check yes. Get some community service hours, helps your fellow classmates out, and have a good time.

However, you were heavily mistaken. There was nothing that even suggested you’d have a good time. By first period on Monday morning, you were already trying to figure out a way to get the hell out of that school.

Different skies [model!sicheng x model!reader social media au]

pt. 18> pt. 19 > pt. 19.5

«Y/n is the new face of the SM new gen models. What happens when she meets Dong Sicheng, known in the industry as the “cold hearted prince of China”?»

Genre: angst, fluff, probably you will hate some characters tbh, sometimes funny??? idk.

request: ok ur SO FUNNY when i was reading ur hyunjin scenario i almost pissed my pants istg ur fckin hilarious !! and could you do like a best friends to lovers type trope with lucas from nct? love ur writing and please go nuts my guy <3 <3 - @nctro​

word count: 3.7k

a/n: djfhgkhdj thank u sO MUCH everyone who compliments me on here makes me blush dhbfkhsbdk anywhom I actually enjoyed writing this so much mainly because I love big dumb boys and Lucas is one of those !!!! I hope u like it bby<3

warnings ?: cursing and brief mentions of underage drinking 

pairing: yuta x reader;

words: 4.5k

genre: fluff?? au?? game designing??? enemies to lovers?? i am absolutely unsure of what this garbage is;

warnings: didn’t proofread well enough;

You find Nakamoto Yuta insufferable, to say the least. Every aspect of him, from his lazily put together outfit that was meant to look somewhat attractive to that intolerable smile of his, you find insufferable. You find his popularity among your co-workers, his charming gaze at the pretty businesswomen, his effortlessness in engaging in small talk, his calm stubbornness while arguing with others – all of it, absolutely insufferable.

But the fact that he found your absolutely flawless idea lacking was the most insufferable of all.

anonymous asked: YOUR TAEYONG AU WAS SO CUTE MY H E A R T 😁😁😁 can i request something as cute as that for xiaojun? perhaps even another neighbor au heheh–but you dont have to if you dont want to! i would just like some fluffy xiaojun :))

pairing: bartender!xiaojun x med student!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

author’s note: two requests for xiaojun in a row, wow this really is his world and we’re just living in it 

With each page turn, you feel a little bit of your sanity leave you.

You’ve been cooped up in your dorm for the past week, studying for the absolute hell that is finals week. You’re running on four hours of sleep and hell of a lot of caffeine. Day and night have just been blending together and you genuinely have no concept of time anymore. Your roommate has been staying with her boyfriend more often, which leaves you and your misery all alone with no one to vent to.

This must be what solitary confinement feels like, you think to yourself.

Once you read the same sentence for the tenth time in a row, you finally give up and slam your anatomy textbook closed. It’s only 11:20 PM, so you decide to go out for some fresh air. Just the thought of being in this room any longer makes you feel suffocated.  

You don’t bother changing out of your sweatpants and t-shirt, simply throwing a light jacket over it. You’re not sure when you last washed your hair so you tease it up into a ponytail. Shooting your roommate a quick text (though you’re pretty sure she’s not going to see it), you grab your wallet and keys and head out.