{Special} College!AU Hendery
major: general biologyÂ
minor: infectious diseases
clubs: part of chinese culture club with sicheng + tutors sometimes but he gets off-track easily, wont admit it out loud but attends the magic the gathering gettogethers often as well, extraterrestrial enthusiasts club
sports: he originally joined xiaojun for one of his ballet classes as a joke, but ended up really liking it and now he shows up regularly and the professor thinks henderyâs upbeat, chattery attitude is so âcharmingâ and xiaojun just,,,,,,rolls his eyes like maâam you donât even know,,,,,,,,
hendery is a force to be reckoned with - not necessarily in a bad way, but if you arenât a high-strung energetic type thenÂ
it can be hard to keep up
but the truth is, hendery is just like that because heâs a natural born people-pleaserÂ
making others happy by making himself the goofiest he can be actually brings him a lot of joy
and he finds no shame in carrying the âclass clownâ title from high school into his college years
he takes everything with ease, kun and xiaojun frequently ask if heâs being an idiot on purpose, and hendery just thinks its hilariousÂ
yangyang and yukhei usually just egg on his jokes and stuntsÂ
yukhei likes to partake in them tooÂ
but yangyang is a little too smartÂ
and wont take on any bet thrown at him the way these two will
and believe me, henderyâs got a record for itÂ
in his freshman year, he applied to a bunch of frats - only to see if he could past initiationsÂ
getting pied in the face, lugging mattresses across the quad, standing up in the middle of class to profess his love to the professorÂ
all of those tests were easy-peasy ,,,,,, and even though heâd passed them all ,,,,,,, in the end he didnât even join any of the frats
just thanked them for the âfun timesâ while the other recruits eyed him like he was insane
basically, he will do anything asked of him - especially if itll make for what he refers to as âgood comedyâ
if it really is âgood comedyâ you have to ask the spectators - and the people who end up being pulled into it - which more than often are either his friends or his classmates
so why general bio? and even weirder - why infectious diseases?
well as silly as hendery is, the silliness doesnât translate well into art or literatureÂ
like he tried his hand at poetry and pottery and other humanitiesÂ
and lets just say ,,,,,,,,,,, it didnât work out
(heâs banned from the literature department)
science on the other hand,,,,,,,,
leaves much more space for silliness than hendery could have ever imagined
although its a lot of math and rigorous testing - hendery enjoys the adventurous part of science
he likes opening textbooks with colorful, kind of icky, diagrams
have you ever seen the inside of a cell? hendery thinks it looks like a clown maze at the amusement park - he loves it!!!
biology is one of the most hands-on sciencesÂ
and when people in his intro course were gagging at the idea of disecting a frog
hendery was just like âleave it to me - even though i was only half listening to the professors instructions!â
and diseases are even more interesting to him
because their genetic makeup is so funny, and their scientific names are even funnier!!!!!!!
âhey xiaojun, you know what i learned about today? leptospirosis. LEPTOSPIROSIS - doesnât it sound kinda like leprechaun!?!?!? i almost died laughing in lab!!!!!âÂ
xiaojun: how is that even funny
kun: just let the child amuse himself
sometimes people mistake his enthusiasm about his major as meaning he isnât actually interested in it as a career
just taking part in it like some inside joke
but thatâs far from the truth
hendery is actually a pretty proficient scientist when the topic intrigues him
and although hes loud and a little disruptive in actual lab
there are rare occurrences when you can find him quietly working on his results and papers
thereâs nothing funny about making a mistake in science, hendery knows and understands thatÂ
and even though he doesnât tell many people it - he does have some interest in taking steps toward entering the medical field
but hes kept it a secret - because no one would take him seriously anyway so there isnât any point in talking about it
when hes not in class, making the professor groan and the students snicker behind their laptops
heâs usually at someone elses dorm rather than his own
heâs almost always given an invite to a party, people are always calling him over to join them for late night drinking or karaokeÂ
because if hendery is there - it is guaranteed to be a good time
on multiple occasions, ten and kun have had to come to his aid
there was one time where hendery kind of totally overdid it and ten even had to facetime henderyâs momÂ
she had given him an earful over the phone, thanking ten when she was finally done
and just as hendery thought he could scurry off, ten had told him he had his own lecture in store
henderyâs busy social life isnt a problem for xiaojun though, who he shares his dorm with
henderyâs gone most of the time so xiaojun dumps all his stuff in the closet and is happy to use the extra space for ballet practice
,,,,,,,,,,until hendery stumbles in at 4pm on a sunday and is like âhey!â before passing out directly on the floor
look me in the eyes and try and tell me hendery doesnât have corny meme stickers on his laptop. you cant.Â
although hes wild, and a hand full, his friends do really care about him
and when theyâre all togetherÂ
kun and ten admit that hendery is extremely good at cheering them up
xiaojun and yangyang do have to agree that life would be boring without him
and sicheng and yukhei, who never interfere with his lifestyle choices, reveal that hendery is a good friend
when anyone needs something
hendery will jump through hoops to get it
and heâs usually up for taking the blame if something goes wrong
thatâs exactly how you end up meeting hendery
back in highschool you two hadnât ever interacted, mostly due to the fact that you had transferred in during senior year
and you were a bit on the reserved side
with an interest in quiet libraryâs and flying under the radar till graduation
while hendery was much more of a social butterflyÂ
with people begging for him to follow back on instagram or make it to their weekend parties
you had both existed in virtually different worlds - until you found yourself in a really, really, really bad situation
it had been the literal last day of highschoolÂ
you were one hundred and one percent sure you had absolutely everything out of your locker, most importantly - your college acceptance letter
which was one of your proudest achievements, but also the only document with your student id notification which youâd need for registrations and the acceptance orientation
giddy as you walked out toward the bus, you rummaged around in your bag one last time
just so you could pull it out and read it all over again when -
you must have looked absolutely insane on the curbside, dumping everything out of your bag and digging around like a rabid animal
but it was gone - your folder with your letter, and not to mention your graduation certificate, GONE
you scoop everything back up and run back toward the school - youâre happy that you see a figure coming out of the front door
because that means you can still get inside
the boy brushes past you and the door shuts behind him - you pull at the bar and then he turns around, taking his headphones off
âoh, the schools closed. the janitor let me out but-â
your eyes are so wide and full of terror when you turn that hendery canât even finish his sentence
you look like youâve seen a ghost and he asks you whats wrong
âm-m-my- a-a-accept-acc- my-m-â
hendery doesnât understand any of your muttering - so he does what he always does when his friends go into a stupor
he grabs you by the shoulders and gives you a good shake
youâre about to yell at him, but it actually lets you collect yourself for a moment
you turn and start feverishly banging on the doorÂ
âwhat are you doing?!â
âyou said something about a janitor - if he hears us heâll let me back inside and i can get my letter!â
hendery sort of stares at you, for the first time heâs in the position where he looks at someone and thinks - seriously? are you insane, all this over some letter?
when usually heâs on the receiving end of such judgement
but either way, he tells you to stop - the janitor isnât going to hear some loud bangs and come running
you guys are going to have to do something bigger to his attention
before you know it, henderyâs dropped his bag and circles around the school
you follow him, not sure of what else to do - but when heâd said you had to do something bigger, it sounded like he had a plan
and hendery does have a plan - he stops outside the large glass window right under the gym
âok, you - go back to the front entrance. when the janitor steps out, run in through the door and get your letter.â
âhow are you going to get him to step out?!â
hendery looks around, pushing aside some of the shrubs and picking up a rock
you look at it, then him, and then the window
âyouâre not going to-â
he feigns offense, âdestroy school property? of course not! now go - run to the front.â
you only half believe him, but you need that letter more than anything, so you circle back to where you started
it all happens in a blurry flash - you hear something shatter, you hear the door push open a minute or two later, you dash passed and down the empty halls
youâre so focused on getting your letter and getting the hell out of there that you donât notice the voices outside or the big crack in the window as youâre running backÂ
with your letter in hand, you sort of disappear before you can get caught up in whatever henderyâs plan was
and hope that he at least got away too
the next time you see him is at freshman orientation
youâre surprised that this school was his choice and under any other circumstance youâd brush it away
but youâre itching to know
so when you approach him and ask, how did he help you out on that faithful day (does he even remember it?)
hendery grins, wide and bright
âof course ii remember it! the janitor caught me and ii had to do community service or pay a fine. spent half my time cleaning up garbage in a park because of you!â
the words arenât malicious - actually he doesnt even look mad when you apologize for such a big inconvenience
instead he just tells you it was worth it - it took him sometime, but he figured that the letter youâd been going on about like crazy had to be something ultra important
you hadnât even known this dude - and yet, he was talking to you like he had just done a favor for an old friend
since then, youâd grown closer to himÂ
and now you both where in your junior years - youâd become a part of his friend group and he had become someone so much more than just a strangerÂ
looking back at it - youâd never thought you and him would get along on such a deep level
but you did, and you suspected it had most to do with the fact that no matter how goofy or dumb his antics were
hendery had never and would never intend to hurt anyoneÂ
in fact, heâd put himself in harms way first
and his loyalty was something lost on most people your age - you admired itÂ
sometimes, you were even jealous of the pure-natured almost naĂŻve way he went about life
so now youâre sitting in his dorm, xiaojun is at his desk watching ballet recitles and youâre shifting through henderyâs messy pile of books and papers
âisnât your lab due tomorrow - how did you manage to lose it?â
he rummages through his backpack and whines
âi didnât loooose it- i bet kun stole it!â
âkun isnât taking a bio class, you just probably tossed it out like always.â
âhey!â
you turn to see henderyâs signature pout, deep dark eyes big and hurt
âyouâre making me sound so dumb!â
âhendery,,,,,,,sometimes - you are.â
he sticks his tongue out and you continue to look through the pile, your hands stop when they reach the thin, silver book that is your highschool yearbook
your copy is at home, you wonder for a second why henderyâs is here
âdid you find it?!â
hendery bounds over and you cover it up quickly - giving him a playful shove away
âno, now keep looking - or else youâre going to have to re-do all fifteen pages tonight!â
he whines, but returns to his corner of the room. your fingers tap the stack of paper and you feel a weird wave of nostalgia hit you
itâs broken up as the door swings open to the dorm and sicheng walks calmly through it
he passes you a handful of crumpled papers
âfound henderyâs lab report in our trashcan.â
you turn to glare at hendery who puts his hands up and grins
âoops?â
after you leave hendery to retype his lab, you find yourself thinking about that yearbook again
youâve been henderyâs friend for almost three years now - but in highschool you guys hadnât even spoken
youâve never thought about it before, but itâs almost shameful that you lost all those yearsÂ
because hendery is a good friend, a lifelong friend
you and him could have had so many more memories together if instead of meeting on the last day in an almost comical twist of events
he could have been in your literature class, or you could have been his tutor and then you two could have just bonded like you did in college and become friends, even maybe-
lovers
you stop walking as the word flashes through your mind
âno, thatâs just,,,,,,,silly.â
you toss the momentary curiosity to the side - if anything, ever since you started college youâd only had one crush on somebody
a crush so secret, you hadnât even dared to write it down in your journal - let alone tell anyone
and you planned on keeping it that way
afterall, you had a degree to get and you were so - so close.
a couple of weeks later you find yourself handing in the last paper before a small spring break, you plan on going home when you get a call
henderyâs voice full of excitement
âwhens your train home?âÂ
he asks, not bothering with a greeting - heâs probably the only person you know who likes to jump right into any conversation
âtomorrow, around three.â
âcool - so that means you can party tonight!â
you roll your eyes - thatâs another thing youâve gotten into since being henderyâs friends, parties
although they still arenât your favorite pastime - you have to admit, they can be entertaining
and you and ten have sort of agreed that as the responsible ones, being at the party would at least mean hendery (and on most occasions yukhei) would have a safe way to get home
âmaybe, depends on the party.â
henderyâs laugh is a sound so familiar - and so nice you sometimes think you can hear it forever and not grow sick and tired of it at all
âactually this time itâs at johnnyâs place in the city! he finally got out of the dorms since heâs in graduate school now - but ten convinced him somehow.â
you know johnny suh, who doesnât, a graduate student in film studies and super close friend of tenâsÂ
back when you and hendery were still freshmen, johnny was the one known on campus for being a little too wild
but now, hendery seems to have stolen the title
âwell if itâs at his place I guess itâll be pretty small, im just happy we arenât going back to that frat.â
hendery makes a disgusted sound
ânah! that place was boring and remember how i almost punched that guy out for-â
âyes, i remember. what time should i be heading over?â
âill pick you up at ten!â
you hang up and smile, something in your chest warms a little - a feeling you havenât felt beforeÂ
sometimes he can be so crazy, and then sometimes he really is a gentlemanÂ
the thought doesnt occur to you as being unique in anyway, and you try hard not to fester on that weird feeling in your chest
hendery is late - because of course he is - but youâre used to it and give him just a little bit of a scold as you two walk toward the metero
other than that the conversation is the same, plans, friends, potential people youâll run into at the party, etc.
you and hendery stand close to each other on the subway, his hand comes up to hold your shoulder when the cart jerks or someone is pushing past you to get in
you poke the hole in his tshirt hem and mutter that he should at least ask xiaojun to sew it up
when you both get to the party, johnny is already half a wine bottle in by the flush on his face and the way ten is chasing after himÂ
sicheng and kun are there, mingling among themselves and waving you guys over
hendery says heâs going to join them and youâre about to step toward them to
when you feel someone tap your shoulder
you turn, and something in your body feels like it snaps
yukhei smiles at you and starts asking where hendery is - but you are looking over his shoulder at the person behind him
lee taeyong
the computer science major who had also studied alongside johnny at your college when you were a freshman
you had seen him when you had just started your first couple of weeks and that entire year had been like you were enchanted
he was an otherwise reserved, soft-spoken person
but his reputation was the unattainable heartbreaker - who would turn down confessions politely but with little to no regard
he was beautiful when you last saw him, and he was beautiful now - all this time later
whats he doing here?Â
youâd been to johnnyâs place before and had never seen him around, other graduate students sure but not taeyong
âah! by the way - this is taeyong. he graduated but i met him because heâs here to-â
you bow a little and rush through the crowd toward the solitary confinement of the bathroom
to your luck, two voice shout from inside that its occupied so you escape to the stairs of the building - going up a couple of floors until the sound of the party is nothing but a drawl
you donât know why, but seeing him hurts
itâs because he was the first person you ever really loved
you donât get it too - your communications with him had been limited to a two time greeting in the computer lab late during finals week
you had seen him around, youâd once even followed him embarrassingly through the library
you knew nothing about him but his major and his beauty
so what made your heart fall so hard never really made sense
the way youâd felt was so confusing and therefore it made you so ashamed
you had thought about telling your friends to understand - why, but never did
and so you curl up a little and think that tonight its only a good idea for you to go
âah! there you are - hey, are you crying?â
henderyâs voice breaks you out from your thoughts and you unravel a little to huff at him
âim not crying, im just -â
he sits down and puts a hand on your knee
âdid some asshole try something, if you need me to get them let me know - you know how good ii am at rock throwing!â
the little inside joke makes you crack a smile and you shake your head
âits not that, i was just feeling a little cramped in there.â
he pulls to cans of beer from his jean pockets and sets them down
âthatâs fine, we can party up here! just the two of us!â
youâd resist - but something about his cheer wins you over
you spend what feels like hours up there, hendery running back and forth between the flights to bring back more beer and snacks
you dont know how many cans are littered around you until your head falls against his shoulder
and if you were sober, youâd feel him tense up
âhey hendery - wanna hear a secret?â
you giggle and hendery turns a little, your eyes are glittering and your speech is just a little bit crocked
âsure, but ii think this should be your last can!â
he slips the beer from your hand - and you make a badly attempted reach for it that just lands your palm against his thigh
again, his body goes into alert, but you just keep going
âi have a crush on someone.â
you hiccup and hendery swallows - his heartbeat is a loud thudding in his ears
âo-oh yeah? on who?â
âwwwwwwwellllllll,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,â
you sit up and hendery looks at you again - you brace his shoulders
âtaeyong.â
you hiccup and grin
âlee taeyong.â
with that you let go of henderyâs shoulders which have dropped anyway
you tilt your head back and hendery lurches forward to grab you when you start tipping over
your eyes close and you feel your head hit something soft - probably the front of henderyâs shirt
you whisper the next sentence, but hendery never hears it
âused to - i used to have a crush on him but now i think i,,,,,â
the words donât come out but it doesnt matter, hendery touches your cheek with his palm and sighs
youâre out cold for now
and he says something you never hear too
âdamn, and here i was. stupid enough to think you were going to say my name instead.â
 the incident doesnt come back to you - not even when youâve had an advil and are drinking coffee in the morning as you pack for home
your group chat is talking about yukhei doing something weird and your other texts are normal
so you just assume ,,,,,,,, nothing happened
and thatâs what it feels likeÂ
until youâre back to classes after spring break andÂ
âsoooooooooooo, a little birdie told me a secret over the break!â
you turn your head and look up to see yukhei
he plops himself down in the chair across from you and nearly sends the whole table shaking
you grab your laptop and coffee before it knocks over
âyou and your giant knees need to be more careful.â
he waves it off and leans forward
âso, lee taeyong.â
your fingers, which had been diligently typing up your homework stop short
yukhei claps his hands and points a finger gun at you
âso you do like him! well, good news for you i got his number at the party and you guys are both all about work and school and-â
you shut your laptop and the noise makes yukheiâs voice shake for a second
âwho told you about taeyong.â
yukhei scratches his head and leans back
âwell i probably shouldnât tell you but hendery. he heard taeyong and i got introduced by johnny so he thought i could help you-â
hendery?
something twists
hendery, did i tell hendery? when?
you stare into your lap and gasp
the party, i got drunk and i told him at the party and he -
âw-who else knows?â
yukhei waves his hand, trying to calm you down
âjust the usual, but we all support it - im pretty sure taeyong is single and -â
he told, everyone?
a multitude of thoughts runs through your mind, but the biggest question is why
even if you were a little out of it, you know you wouldnât have just told hendery to go about spreading your secret
youâre sure, even if its fuzzy, that if you confided in him - you would have made it somehow clear that no one else should know
and hendery was close enough to you, that if there was a chance you hadnt done that, heâd instinctively know
which only leaves one real explanation - hendery isnt your friend, he spilled your secret to humiliate you
all these years - all this time - was he just waiting for it? for the right moment to make you some kind of laughingstock?
you stand up and gather your things, you ignore yukheiâs confusion and when he tries to stop you - you just push past him
it must be for payback, he must have been actually so pissed about that stupid stunt he pulled for me in highschool. after all, he probably got a stain on his record because of it and so he plotted to make me look like a fool one day right - right!
your logical brain starts moving, making up more and more scenarios
he probably thought - oh why do I have to take the blame for some stupid stranger! but didnât know what else to do so he befriended me and made him trust me
your brain runs like a crazed engine, but something in your chest fights against it
suddenly you think about it again
trust, hendery is the one person i fully trust. there isnât any reason for him to hurt me
a glimmer of that hopefulness washes right away when you get a text from an unknown number
you stare at it and re-read it
the anger that had powered you before surges up through you again
âhi, this is lee taeyong. your friend told me how you feel and while im grateful for the compliment - ii donât want to let you pine for no reason. im currently not looking for a relationship, but lets be friends if the chance arises.â
what kind of stupid text is that - i donât want to date you! im not some lovestruck idiot! why are you treating me like one? why did hendery make me out to be one? hendery - hendery - im never going to fucking forgive you
and you donât - you block the number, you delete the contact, you know his schedule and you make it a point to avoid him at all costs
even his friends, who you thought were your friends once, arenât immune from the cold shoulder
and so when kun ends up sitting beside you on the bus - youâre so damn headstrong about it all that you get off at the next stop
part of you knows this is childish, and youâre supposed to be the big adult - the responsible one
like youâve always been
butÂ
but hendery isnât even making an effort to reach out
actually, you think youâd probably haven given in by know if heâd called you or tried to reach you
he knows your schedule too so you thought hed track you down and at least ask whats going on
but he hasnt
which all you take is the fact that your point has been proven
this insane theory about how heâd befriended you for almost three years was just to find someway to get back at you in the end
and heâd done it! and he was satisfied!Â
and it hurt
thatâs what it wasÂ
painful
after a while it was less and less about your stupid little crush on a senior, and more and more about the fact that you had lost you friend
a person who you thought would have your back forever
a person who the universe didnât intend for you to even be near, to ever be close to
the opposite end of the spectrum and yet he had defied that all
and had left an impact on you that you thought would be with you forever
the blind kindness, the forgiving heart, the prone to accidents and silliness and just horrible decision making in general all for the sake of someone elses happiness
all of that had made you cherish him
at this point - you found yourself sitting up in bed - staring at the screen of your phone that used to ping nonstop with his texts
and realize you missed your friend
and worse of all
you missed your friend who you were starting to fall in love with
lee taeyong had been this ideal for you, beautiful and studios, the perfect match
you had daydreamed about bringing him home to your family, how heâd probably be so sweet and gentleÂ
but he was this stand-in, he was a dream that you thought you had
when in reality
your dream didnât consist of the graceful, hardworking, flawless man
it was
as you closed your eyes and really thought about it
it was always hendery
clumsy, laidback, overflowing with flaws man that at the center of it all was crafted with a heart of gold
but was he? would someone like that really sell you out?
your answer comes just as the end of your junior is approaching, youâre so mentally exhausted from school and your own feelings
that you donât have the time to focus on anything anymore but getting to your dorm and getting to bed
you accidentally drop one of the textbooks in your hand and when you reach down to get it - another hand extends for it too
you look up andÂ
oh god no, not right now!
âah â hello.â
taeyong gives you polite smile and you barely have enough energy to reply with your own small nod
âhow are you?â
please donât do this to me, i donât want to make conversation with you
âfine, and you?â
âgood, work hard on your finals!â
you say you will and are happy that he ended it so quickly when,
âalso, i am still sorry i couldnât accept your feelings.â
the heavy blanket of tiredness suddenly feels like its aflame on your back
really, did you really have to say that?
some kind of newfound energy spikes up in you and you turn to him
âI know youâre my senior, but ii need to say something to you.â
he titls his head
âi donât like you, i had a brief crush on you in freshman year but ii got over it. and no im not saying that to save face, ive already felt enough embarrassment about all this. ontop of that I donât have time to crush on you - im in love with hendery and yeah, i can say that now because it doesnt even matter.â
âYOUâRE IN LOVE WITH HENDERY?!?!?!?â
âYUKHEI?â
you pivot around so fast, this time all your books go flying
you hadnât even noticed him in the haze of weakness and yet - there he is, right behind taeyong
like an unbound puppy he rushes up to you and grabs your hands
âI THOUGHT YOU WERE INTO TAEYONG!â
your instinct is first to tell him to not be so damn loud
but youâve lost what pride you thought you had and yell right back at him
âNO IM NOT AND YES - I LOVE HENDERY - BUT HIS STUPID ASS HASNT EVEN TRIED TO TALK TO ME AND I HATE HIM, I LOVE HIM BUT I REALLY HATE HIM RIGHT NOW TOO!â
yukhei jumps up and down
youâre not sure he registered the last part of your sentence because something gleams in his eyes that you arenât sure you like
taeyong shakes his head, quietly picking your things upÂ
âah, these kids really,,,,,,,,â
you pace up and down your dorm room like mad scientist
why did I do that? why did ii yell that out to the whole campus to hear - what is wrong with me?!?
you check your phone, but there isnât a call or a text
yukhei has probably blabbed about it to hendery right now - what is going on why is no one telling me what is going on
you pick your phone up and scroll through the blocked contacts, you unblock everyoneÂ
and you do get a flurry of text - but none of them are from hendery
ugh, im so stupid - not only did he trick me into being his friend but now he knows how ii feel about him and is probably laughing about it
you stop and put your hands on your face and groan
fuck you hendery, no one in the world could make me feel this crazy but you
some more time passes and youâre now sure that youâve just embarrassed yourself further
you spotted kun on the way to your last final yesterday and had almost waved at him like everything was all peachy
when it wasnt
and now as you were packing your things up to leave the lecture hall you almost jump from your skin when someone shouts your name
you look down and beside a shocked professor isÂ
hendery?!?!?
âDID YOU THINK YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GET TO SCREAM ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS?â
oh my god - what is this kid about to do
you watch in shock as the professor taps henderyâs shoulder, but is ultimately ignored
âYOU MADE ME GET ALL DEPRESSED FOR NO REASON - I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERENT EVER GOING TO SPEAK TO ME AGAIN AND THEN YOU JUST GO ABOUT YELLING THAT YOU LOVE ME? THATS NOT FAIR!â
you panic a little because the professor brings out his cellphone and henderyâs gotten in trouble for you before
you kinda think thatâs going to happen now too
but,,,,,,but you want to hear what he has to say too
âITS NOT FAIR SO IM GONNA DO THE SAME THING - GET READY BECAUSE IM GONNA LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT I - WON KUNHANG - AM IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO!â
just as he finishes, you see the professor put down his phone
your head spins, but you let your feelings be pushed to the side as you maddash toward hendery
the professor probably dialed for on-campus security, and whats worse is this idiot just said his full name! well - let me at least help him out like he helped me!
you grab hendery as soon as you get near him
looking him in the eyes and every part of you is screaming a million and one things
to yell back at him, to get angry, to tell him to fuck off, to tell him you love him to his face, to ask if hes insane for real
but you just
kiss him
the professor jerks back and you can feel henderyâs knees almost give outÂ
when you pull back you turn to the provfessor and smile
âweâre doing impromptu theater, was it any good?â
your bluff actually manages to work - the security gives you two a stern talking to and tells you to tell the theater club to knock it off with these âpublic disturbancesâ
you squeeze henderys hand behind your back when he tries to insist it wasnât a performance, it was his true confession
until youâre finally free of the guard and you let him go
âyou could say that kiss was fake all you want, but i know it was real.â
is the first thing he has the AUDACITY to say to you
and although you want to blow up
you want to ask him about how this all happened in the first place
you cant bring yourself to be mad
you just look at him and then sigh
âhowâd it end up being you,,,,,,â
he shrugs his shoulders and suddenly his voice gets a little quieter
âi ask myself the same thing,,,,,,â
you furrow your eyebrows and huff
âexcuse me? are you saying im not likable-â
he puts his hands up and shakes his head
âno, im just saying youâre right - we definitely arenât the people we thought weâd fall for. ii mean câmon, when you said taeyong that night - i just knew you know.â
âknew what?â
âthat he was the right choice for you. im just a stupid kid compared to him, thereâs nothing about me for you to fall in love with.â
heâs not lying, you can tell by the way his tone is soft and thereâs a real self-hatered woven into it
your anger about whatever slips away because this is a side of hendery you knew existed but that you also knew he fought hard to not show
âhendery, you are stupid. youâre stupid because you legitimately think youâre inadequate of attention and love. do you know why youâre popular - its not because youâre so funny.â
he stands up straight and the serious look on his face is handsome, but it makes something sharp wedge in your heart
âits because you are one hundred percent selfless. and not for some kind of advantage, but because you really want to help.â
your shoulders drop a little
âi envy you, your hearts pure and your intentions are always good. living life that way is so beautiful, thatâs the first thing about you that i feel in love with.â
a silent pause follows after
the rawness of the situation dawns on the two of you in a way you didnât think would ever be possible
youâve told a lot of things to hendery, you subconsciously spilled one of your biggest secrets to him
so it only makes sense that when it came down to this moment youâd really, honestly tell him everything
you feel as maybe youâve made it a little awkward, lecturing him in a moment where you both have confessed when suddenly
you feel his hand take yours
that signature smile back on his face
âoh yeah? what else did you fall in love with?â
half of you wants to snap, the other half - the one that wins bursts out into laughter
the list is long, but in the moment you just answer
âthe fact that youâre soooo good at throwing rocks!â
âhey, it is a charm!â
he leans in and his lips settle on yours, theyâre warm and soft and you circle your hands around his neck
you had thought about what kissing him would feel like before - once just for fun, but recently for other reasons
you didnât expect him to be so reserved, letting his lips sort of softly part only when you push a little closer to him
its a good second kiss, though you donât think anything will ever beat your first lol
and nothing beats the story too - which makes it to the front of the student journal
(both you and hendery get a talking to from theater club who was NOT happy about you lying - but ultimately did like that you ended up together)
you are in perpetual embarrassment shock for a while
but hendery eats it up! - if anyone as much as mentions it heââs likeÂ
âlet me tell you the beautiful tale of our lov-â
and you have to clamp your hand over his mouth like lol sorry donât mind him
even in the early stages of dating, you can tell that hendery is that kind of significant other
just like he is with friendships, he gives himself wholeheartedly to the other person
like yes, you just started dating and you know most people donât start off shouting that they love each otherÂ
but you guys are different and although youâve somehow become a little shy of using the word
hendery is in it - you are his love, his lovely, his lovable, his capital L love of his goddamn life and if he doesnt get to say it a million times well then
he just isnât trying hard enough
and although his affection is overflowing, and his love language is obviously expression
it is not smothering at all because in reality, you feel exactly as much as he does
its just that you show it off differently, but those who are your friends know
because hendery used to be able to do anything and everything
hence his notoriousness for being down for any dare
but your love language? protection
âno hendery, you are not going to drink hot sauce out of the bottle because yukhei said you couldnât do it.â
âno hendery, you are not going to dress up like the shrek just because ten bought the costume on amazonâ
âno hendery, you are not going to climb that fence - hendery get down!â
you arenât trying to limit his free spirit - youre just worried
when you were just friends he was always in some kind of trouble, either with people in authority or covered in bruises and scraps from the aftermath of his silliness
you explained it once to him in the simpliest terms you could think up
squishing his cheeks between your palms youd looked him in the eye and said
âyou are my boyfriend, and if you break your arm doing something dumb - what does that mean 1) your arm is broken and 2) you cant hold my hand with that arm so that sucks for me and you - right?â
to be honest you could dangle holding hands or kisses as leverage and hendery will give up on the spot
because lets be honest, he cannot live a day without at least giving you some kind of physical affection
the boy is a bursting pile of cheesy love - and you really try not to use that against himÂ
because it really is so wonderful and pure
but if he wants to do something dumb you will put your palm out when he leans in to kiss you and he will get all fretty like a big baby
kun at some point: donât you feel like youre a dog owner with a big, misbehaving puppy
you: no, not at all.
kun: really?
you: at least a misbehaving puppy listens sometimes
kun: ah, i see
henderyâs kind of dates include a lot of latenight fast food runs and showing up to your dorm with the excited news that he got a hold of someones netflix password so you guys can binge corny tv shows
you thought heâd be the type to want a new adventure everyday, but surprisingly enough, hes very VERY content with staying in and just snuggling
not to say you two donât have some very memorable and slightly embarrassing date storiesÂ
ahem, that one time hendery got you bubble tea and you were waiting outside and he said âlook I can balance both our drinks on my head!â
of course he spilled them all over himself
and you two used up all the napkins in the store before escaping the cashiers glare into a nearby store to get hendery a new tshirt
hendery isnât super flashy by the way, his clothes are mostly comfortable basics, and he likes a bit of an oversized fit
so when you wear them theyâre extra loved and cozy
hendery gets a bit fidgety the first time you do it - and you really cannot tell why
you wonder if he doesnt like you borrowing his clothes, but then you roll over a little to cuddle against him and he freezes
and youâre likeÂ
oh, thatâs why
hendery - although loud and energetic in all other aspects of life - is a pretty bashful lover
his hands are always a little shaky and he waits for you to lead in with anything more than kisses
and you actually think its very, very adorableÂ
because he gets this kinda dreamy look in his eyes and his voice gets softer
and when your lips are on his collarbones its like the only thing he can even do is whisper your name against your hair
its a side you enjoy keeping all to yourself, and hendery is so thankful because oh my god no one would let him live it down
xiaojun gets a little grumpy that you and hendery are always around more - but he likes you as a person
(to him, youre the only person who can really keep henderyâs ambitiousness incheck)
so he lets it slide
plus you finally got hendery to stop coming around to his ballet practice, because you refuse to let hendery do so until he finishes his labs
and you know hendery is smart, you tell from the way he can offhandedly answer questions about his majorÂ
and even though he has this idiotic habit of dumbing himself down for comedy
seeing him run up to you and show you the first perfect score on his lab, it really makes you swell with pride
and his interest in infectious diseases and all the weird diagrams of micro-organisms and whatnot doesnt phase you
actually his passion for it makes you excited to listen to him talk
and ten is like ew that thing looks like a bug
and youre like âlisten to me, if hendery thinks the cell membrane is cute then you say its cute. ok. or. else.â
gosh when you guys get together - theres this energy that is so ,,,,, sweet - its almost a little dizzying
because its obvious that these feelings you two can so freely show to each other now have been piling up for a while
and now its free reign
sometimes henderyâs bangs get long and hell lean in to kiss you but his hair will tickle you firstÂ
and you always do this like giggle and hiccup when you get tickled
and hendery once blinks and goes
âyou know your hiccups are number 105 on the list of things I love about youâ
and you laugh because lol wow do you really have a list
and hes like pffft no
(he has a list, it is in his iphone notes)
hendery the type of boyfriend who spends like five weeks planning a celebration for your anniversery
but on the day off hes like F I cant do this and abandones all his plans
and just shows up in front of you with twelve different bundles of flowers and ten different stuffed animals
and is like
âI know you really like roses, but also you said you liked sunflowers when we went to that farm and i know your a cat person, but you also like wolves so I got you-â
he just really really really wants to make you happy
and sometimes you can tell that he thinks he doesnt
that he compares himself to people he thinks are better for you
and thatâs when youâre just like hendery, look at me - its you. its only going to be you.
because the universe might have felt like you two didnât fit, but its so obvious you do
you made up a rule that if hendery tries to talk down about himself he has to do ten pushups with you on his back
but you never actually make him do it ,,,,, you just spend like an hour telling him heâs so dumb - because you are so in love with him
as you guys go into senior year together, hendery becomes your biggest cheerleader and you become his
and seriously you two could get through anything togther
one afternoon, as youâre walking back from class and hendery slides his palm into yours
you see johnny and taeyong across the ways - theyâre picking some people up or something and taeyong notices you two
he waves
and you both wave back
when you get to your dorm and you curl up in henderyâs arms, you feel him play with the ends of your hair
âI never asked you, why did you tell everyone about my crush on taeyong?â
âwhen you said you liked him, I thought you meant like in the moment - and so I thought I could get yukhei to set you two up.â
âbut didnât you already have feelings for me?â
hendery smiles a little against your hair
âyeah, but nothing mattered more to me than making you happy.â
you clutch the front of his shirt a little - the sentence makes you want to cry
from happiness, but also because of course - you had jumped to conclusions thinking heâd done it to hurt youÂ
but its hendery, of course he only did it to help
âwanna know something dumb?â
hendery moves back a little so he can look at you better
âhmm?â
âive always wished we knew each other better back in highschool - maybe then weâd have more time and none of that would have happened. maybe we could have fallen in love all those years ago.â
he scrunches up his nose and you sit up
he follows suit and takes your hands in his
âyeah but - it was worth it. and hey, if weâd been buddies or whatever you might have never left your letter in that locker and ii would have never gotten to throw that rock through the window.â
you roll your eyes
âreall-â
âthat was a stupid thing to do, and its the only stupid thing ive done that im so happy i did.â
you let yourself fall forward, right into his arms, theyâre warm and they feel so perfect around you
âoh - and shouting out how much i love you in front of your whole class. thatâs another stupid thing im proud of.â
*this post was commissioned | other college!ausÂ























