Δ'☾ "Every artist was first an amateur"

"It happened that, as I was watching some of the little people bathing in a shallow, one of them was seized with cramp and began drifting downstream. The main current ran rather swiftly, but not too strongly for even a moderate swimmer. It will give you an idea, therefore, of the strange deficiency in these creatures, when I tell you that none made the slightest attempt to rescue the weakly crying little thing which was drowning before their eyes. When I realised this, I hurriedly slipped off my clothes, and, wading in at a point lower down, I caught the poor mite and drew her safe to land."

Chapter VIII "Explanation", The Time Machine

Well, like with the Conan piece, this was also another digital illustration I did for Illustration class this year. And honestly, I've learned a lot about inking, lighting and model references in that class.

I think they hate me. Definitely not an assumption kase at first ang bait bait nila sakin tapos, wala pang 1 month (mind u it's my birth month and after ng bday ko pinagmumumura na ko ng nanay ko kase nabbwisit siyang makita akong namimilipit sa sakit bc of my gut issues) almost everyday na ko sinisigawan because of petty things like mga langgam sa mesa or maling bimpo yung nakuha or may nakapasok na langaw/lamok sa loob ng bahay or namimilipit ka na sa sakit, sila pa yung galit. Na instead of comfort, mumurahin ka pa.

I've also said before na pinapatayan ako ng electric fan ng hilaw kong MIL kahit sobrang init sa kanila. She also likes comparing me to other girls she knew and shiniship niya sa anak niya before which is weird kasi hello gf po ako ng anak niyo. Like what are u implying? Hehe?

Anyway back sa main storyline, as a fragile gorlie, masakit sa puso masigawan ng mga taong nagbigay ng buhay sayo noh. Hahahaha crying while writing this :( hindi ko alam if normal yung gantong pamilya pero ever since I was little, I can't remember any happy memories with them. It's always the screaming and fighting and cursing each other out.

I feel so pathetic hoping for a loving family to welcome me noong umuwi ako. But reality slapped me so hard in the face. They never changed. I never wanted a home where people screams at you just because they're irritated and projects it onto you.

All I wanted is a safe space for me to heal and get back on my feet again. A space where I can clear my head, not spiral down in a place I've been trying to escape. I'm just trying to survive.