This is not Jean @definitelynotjean - Tumblr Blog

netamashii

happy (extremely belated) birthday @andreaphobia

definitelynotjean

EREN THIS IS NOT A LIFE GOAL

#fuck

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discountliquor

janewithawhy

Imagine your OTP.

definitelynotjean

eren, get off craigslist

So have you ever considered grudgy hate sex with Eren? Like, don't you ever want to just slam him up against the nearest wall and fuck all the smugness out of him? I bet you'd find him a lot more tolerable while he's screaming your name.

Uhhhhh… No.

That’s. uh.

What that is, is… is fucked up. OK? That’s just. Wow. I don’t even.

#i'm gonna go now #yeah #later tumblr #putting a DO NOT DISTURB sign on my door #bye #Anonymous #ask

dicks

Sorry buddy, I've only got one.

#also everyone on this website is still nuts #Anonymous #ask

gene or john

Gene on the street and John in the sheets.

#telling it like it is #Anonymous #ask

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how do you have internet

You're down with giants that literally eat people, but not me having internet access? Dude, come on now.

#it's 2k14 #and if i didn't have net access how would i spread the gospel of jean?#Anonymous #ask

I am much invested in you and Eren's relationship. I mean, not Eren.

Everyone on this website is fucking weird.

#relationship #what is this #i know not of what you speak #Anonymous #ask

definitelynoteren

Holy fuck, my head.

Where the hell am I?

Where are my pants?

definitelynotjean

Iunno. Where are your pants?

definitelynoteren

What did you do with them, Kirschstein?

definitelynotjean

Used them to clean up your puke.

#sorry #not really #there's water and aspirin on the kitchen counter

definitelynoteren

Holy fuck, my head.

Where the hell am I?

Where are my pants?

definitelynotjean

Iunno. Where are your pants?

definitelynoteren

puntcuation is for sober peopel whove still got moms

dont go please

definitelynotjean

Um…

What, you need someone to drive you home or something?

definitelynoteren

no

definitelynotjean

...

#don't start this shit with me now i'm already in my car #god you're such a #i will complete that tag when i find the right word #i swear to god

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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definitelynoteren

Mother’s Day is a terrible holiday and I hate it.

I’m going to drink until it goes away or I pass out whichever comes first

definitelynotjean

Uh, that sounds dangerous.

definitelynoteren

sos fighting titans

definitelynotjean

Oh. Looks like the drank got your punctuation. Okay then.

definitelynoteren

puntcuation is for sober peopel whove still got moms

dont go please

definitelynotjean

Um...

What, you need someone to drive you home or something?

#The cynical part of me is trying to decide if this is a trap or not.#and then i feel kind of shitty because how cynical can you be really #i had stuff to do today yanno #you're gonna owe me one jaeger

definitelynoteren

Mother’s Day is a terrible holiday and I hate it.

I’m going to drink until it goes away or I pass out whichever comes first

definitelynotjean

Uh, that sounds dangerous.

definitelynoteren

sos fighting titans

definitelynotjean

Oh. Looks like the drank got your punctuation. Okay then.

#well #i guess if you're drinking with them #then i don't need to worry #uh #not that i *was* worried #i'm just #gonna go now #got things to do #yep

definitelynoteren

Mother’s Day is a terrible holiday and I hate it.

I'm going to drink until it goes away or I pass out whichever comes first

definitelynotjean

Uh, that sounds dangerous.

#how about doing something else?#i mean #not that i'm seriously worried or anything #but that just doesn't sound healthy #where are eren's babysitters when you need them?

definitelynoteren

definitelynotjean

Roses are red, but my balls are blue. I think you’re hot, so why can’t we screw?

would it help if I said please? pretty please? c'mon man I'm dying here

definitelynotjean

Oh, please. You're not dying.

#...#are you?#...this is a trap isn't it

If I, and by that I mean that I am someone who is DEFINITELY not Eren, told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

You don't have to tell me Jean has a great body. Everyone knows it! I mean, just look at those muscles. So shiny and hard. Carved outta steel. (But that well-muscled exterior? Hides true kindness, and a heart of gold.)

#also stop hitting on me eren #goddammit #Anonymous #ask

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

why are you such a jean fanboy then? isn't the real jean a little weirded out by you.

Oh, come on, anon, do I really have to explain why your mom is such a big fan of Jean? Really?

#i'd like to keep this blog PG-13 if possible #Anonymous #ask

honestly you and eren would make a p hot couple dont tell me youve never thought about it

I have never thought about it. Now let us never speak of this again.

#you know who'd make a hot couple tho?#me and mikasa #aw yeah baby #i'll bring the sass and she'll bring the whoop-ass #cassyoass #ask

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