This is not Eren @definitelynoteren - Tumblr Blog

KISSSSS

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definitelynotjean

I just want to clear something up

Eren is a fucking terrible main character. He’s so stupid and worthless that it’s a wonder he made it through the basic training. It makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER that Mikasa is interested in him. She needs a real man–someone who will treat her right. Someone handsome. Someone like Jean. I think Jean should be the main character because he’s better than Eren in every conceivable way. He’s taller, he’s smarter, he's way better looking, and he can take Eren in a fight. On top of that, he has so much depth. He’s the lone voice of reason in an insane world. And his face! His gaze is dreamy and smoldering and his lips are full and kissable. It won’t be long until Mikasa realizes she is in love with me him.

In closing, Jean is the smartest, coolest, and most handsome guy in Shingeki, and he should be the protagonist.

definitelynoteren

Dude, I say this with love in my heart, but Mikasa is and always will be so far out of your league that she’s playing a different sport altogether.

I on the other hand Eren, though, is ready to meet you at the championship playoffs, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

#this is how sports work right?#whatever #so much pining it smells like a goddamn coniferous forest up in here

starrycove

My favorite horse Jean kirschstein

#so if I wanted to saddle up and take a ride #how would I arrange that?

netamashii

happy (extremely belated) birthday @andreaphobia

definitelynotjean

EREN THIS IS NOT A LIFE GOAL

definitelynoteren

IT CAN BE A LIFE GOAL IF I WANT IT TO BE.

#a boy can dream

netamashii

happy (extremely belated) birthday @andreaphobia

#goals

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theheadlessgirl

From an erejean au thing thehauntedboy and I were talking about awhile ago.

#don't I just wish

scienceisnoteverythingdrawings

Chapter 72 is released! And…. my mind in pure madness. I’m so sorry no I’m not for this comic.

*Japanese reading*

If you want like my facebook page

definitelynoteren

Hey, definitelynotjean, dude, it’s clearly meant to be.

#it's got the official Mikasa stamp of approval and everything #what else could you really want???

bxputa

definitelynoteren

definitelynotjean

I don't think you understand brah you need to confess your love this sexual tension is unhealthy for all the recruits. I already have a bet going on with Sasha that you guys end up together before valentines day and I don't want to lose!!! Confess!!!

Dude, I don't know how much more obvious I can be? Like, seriously, how am I supposed to make it any clearer than I think he's awesome and would like to do filthy depraved naked things with him and kill the shit out of titans with him and I don't even know what else with him? Because I don't think I can.

#pretty sure he's just not that into me #Anonymous #asks

Okay but that Jean guy, right? I mean...Hesafuckinsmokinghotboy.

You said it, anon. I totally agree.

#so hot #so so hot #hot like fire and other hot things #Anonymous #asks

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yuki119

well if you insist

#by far the best thing I have seen all day

tatsudai

also let’s talk about this jumper i saw in the mall today 8D

#is this an offer?#because I'd like to accept it.#call me.

What I want to know is why all those websites that come up when you google "how to get him to like you" assume that the person doing the googling has to sit down to pee. Geez.

#some of them have decent makeup tips though #so I guess it's not a total waste of time

"Would I lie to you?" Yes.

Dude, that's cold and frankly kind of hurtful.

#Anonymous #asks

Are you Eren?

Of course not! See, it's right there in the url. I mean, seriously, would I lie to you?

#Anonymous #asks

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definitelynotjean

So have you ever considered grudgy hate sex with Eren? Like, don't you ever want to just slam him up against the nearest wall and fuck all the smugness out of him? I bet you'd find him a lot more tolerable while he's screaming your name.

Uhhhhh… No.

That’s. uh.

What that is, is… is fucked up. OK? That’s just. Wow. I don’t even.

definitelynoteren

Now wait just a danged minute, here. How come it's supposed to be Jean definitely not Jean slamming Eren up against the wall for the rough hatesex? Not that I, and by I you understand that I mean that I am not Eren, object to the idea of angry bitey growly sex with Jean, of course. I just think that, y'know, it would be Jean up against that wall and screaming my Eren's name.

#seriously now #which one of us is the one with anger issues again?#and the mandated counseling sessions for those anger issues?#I'll give you a hint: it ain't horse-face over there.

jamminplanet-deactivated2015091

Seriously thinking about making an askblog surrounding mythical snk characters…

definitelynoteren

So does this mean Jean is literally hung like a horse, or...?

Look, you were wondering too, don't try to pretend you weren't.

#well?#inquiring minds want to know

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