Don't Give Me Hope

           Being greeted by a very confused Banner, without Bucky or Sam to be seen anywhere, was definitely not what Steve had expected, when he returned from a successful mission. Way too quickly, he had to learn that he was gone for much longer than he had intended to and the world had moved on, kept spinning, even had the audacity to announce a new Captain America. The posters were not to be missed as he wandered under the living again. All of it felt so surreal that he was questioning himself, if he had landed in the right time line at all. But a quick call to  Sam revealed he was in fact where he belonged to. 

           “You should come over and pick up your baggage. He is currently crashing at my sister’s couch. It’s - a long story.”, Steve heard Sam demanding to come pick up Bucky at the other end of the line, giving a clear signal for the former Captain how much his friend must have missed him. Just like he had missed Bucky when he had been first stranded in this foregine modern world without him. 

         “Give me a few hours and I will be there.”, Steve ensured Sam before going out to borrow a car and got on the road. Just when the sun was about to set, he arrived at the location Sam had given him. When he stepped out of the vehicle, he already spotted  the two, training in the backyard with the shield that once had belonged to him.

“A few hours. It’s been five months for us.” A forced breathy chuckle as Bucky stepped backwards out of Steve’s arms and looked away while he blinked away the tears that threatened to fall.

“What’s going on with you, man?” Sam pushed Bucky’s shoulder, trying to snapping him out of his sudden funk. Shaking his head in disbelief at the sudden change in the other’s demeanor, he glanced to Steve. “You really did break him. He’s all broody again when I haven’t been able to get him to shut up all weekend.”

It was the new guy who he had almost killed. Jack, was it? The archer didn’t know for sure, it wasn’t like he had actually been paying attention during the briefing a few days prior. No, he had been too wrapped up in trying to ignore the feeling of his skin crawling from not having a drink in days. His attempt to try to sober up for the umpteenth time as his drinking was only escalating and in turn so were the nightmares and panic attacks, as if they were competing to have the larger foothold of his mind.

Bending over to place his hands on his knees, Clint fought to catch his breath as the man stepped away and gave him space. This was it. The moment his life was over. Jack was going to rat him out to Fury - rightfully so, he did just have an arrow in his face - and he, himself, was either going to be locked away in a prison for global terrorism or put in a lab somewhere that didn’t give him pleasant thoughts.

“Huh?” The archer lifted his head to see a cup being held out to him along with a wet wash cloth, his face twisting with confusion as he straightened out and stared at him for a long quiet moment. “I almost kill you and you bring me water? No offense and all but this seems a little ass backwards.”

Still, Clint took the offered wet cool wash cloth to rub it over the back of his sweaty neck, sighing deeply at how unexpectedly soothing it was. “Thanks.” The word was mumbled as he took the glass of water to sip at it, taking a few more deep breaths in an attempt to calm his breathing as the man had asked. Jack had asked because it was all he could hear...

Red rimmed eyes went wide, his attention snapping fully to Jack as he eyed him over carefully, suddenly wishing his bow wasn’t on the ground between them. “All you can hear, huh? You super soldier, like Cap?”

“Must be some seriously sensitive hearing if you’re catching my heartbeat. Hate to know what other things you’re hearing around here.” A small forced laugh with a shake of his head before the archer took another sip of the water. “I know you’re not going to hurt me. I wasn’t worried about you.” In truth, he didn’t know exactly who he was so scared of at the moment…Loki? Himself and the apparent danger he was? Or this new guy ratting him out to Fury?

“Listen, I know that was really messed up and all but I would appreciate it if you kept it between us. I understand if you don’t and you have every right to report me...I could lose everything over it.” Blue eyes dropped to the cup in his hand in shame while fingertips tapped nervously along the side of it, his voice low and full of fear. “Higher ups would most likely de-commission me. Or send me to one of SHIELD’s facilities to be poked and prodded...and if I’m lucky, one day release me.”

@defectivexfragmented​​ continued from (here);

bucky’s not … entirely sure how they’d both managed to land themselves in the same bed, limbs tangled together like that, but he isn’t exactly hating it either. it takes a second for everything to come back to him, the events prior to this morning not at all bad, which makes the archer’s all too sudden depature as he pushes himself away in a hurry even more strange. 

“I didn’t mean to...” What was he sorry exactly? Accidentally fall asleep and curl up against the walking furnace? Share a bed for the first time with another without having the urge to slip away in the middle of the night. Maybe he was sorry because he liked it and it was something he could never have again.