HE KNOWS WHO IT IS WITHOUT LOOKING UP. it is a rapidly honed skill : mike is light and skittish on his feet, will comes forth with timid tread, jane doesn’t hesitate and enters unabashed. he has always loved them for their differences, cherishes the peaks and valleys of each friendship. and, like the three wise men, all had come bearing gifts — he had borne witness to them all coming and going, flowers, balloons, cards, photographs, blankets, teddies. he had taken personal liberties with their bestowments, taken his best judgment toward which ones max would rather keep ( daring to ask her for a response regardless ) and stashed away the rest. gave her room to breathe.
she’d always valued her space.
❛ —hey. ❜ he gives dustin the appropriate time : there’s a bitterness to it, the proverbial elephant in the room, a shock to gawp at. but he understands the horror of it, knows dustin cares. max is not his to claim, could be anyone’s if it meant she only came back.
there’s a crushing weight to the sound of dustin’s voice — so solemn, a liminal sound. he had always been the voice of reason, assertive and authoritative, or humorous. this is an unnavigated terrain for them both, a fog of war uncharted. if they could turn back, he’d seize the chance in a heartbeat. ❛ trust you to think of provisions. ❜ an elbow juts out playfully, instinctual camaraderie a habitude he is eternally grateful for. ❛ no, i haven’t eaten. much. thanks. ❜
it is, for now, untouched : hands clasp together as he hunches forward, scoots aside as unspoken invitation for dustin to settle next to him. he never needs to ask if that’s cool.
❛ how’re you holdin’ up ? ❜
a lot had happened to them the last three years that would never live forgotten by any of them, but this time was different. heavier, leaving dustin feeling like he was staring at a metaphorically huge hole in the stratosphere. what was even worse was addressing lucas this way, what used to always be witty banter and wise ass remarks was now tainted with the seriousness of all the shit they’ve dealt with. ❝ i’m never not prepared with sustenance, buddy. ❞ grin doesn’t quite reach his eyes but he laughs anyway, gently nudging his friend’s side as he takes the welcomed seat next to him.
lately, dustin sometimes feels like there’s a veil pulling at the peripherals of his mind to remind him of memories that constantly resurface. the second he makes a joke, the second the moment is light, happy and just for a second he forgets, something hits him like a ton of bricks to remind him. ( dustin, carrying eddie’s lifeless frame through the upside down and trying to make it back to the trailer, the look on lucas’ face when dustin first saw him after, somehow making the storm cloud of doom he already felt even heavier still. ) it wasn’t just eddie, but max too. one of the coolest, most badass people he knew. wandering eyes find the dig dug pocket player he had brought for her to borrow, resting in the corner of the room on the window sill. he recalls what he mumbled to max that day, paired with a stupidly hopeful grin on his face: for when you wake up and you get bored shitless in here. WHEN.
dustin shrugs, nodding and exhaling heavily. his mouth lingers open at first, words not immediately flowing. ❝ i’m okay. ❞ hands are clasped tightly in his lap and he stares down at them, ❝ i mean, i just hope she wakes up soon. who else is gonna kick my ass at pretty much everything? ❞ he pauses and the weakly attempted joke hangs in the air, knowing it wasn’t exactly what lucas meant.
he contemplates for a moment, a tinge of guilt talking about himself or eddie as they sit beside max’s hospital bed. but something tells him she wouldn’t mind, and lucas offers him solace to talk freely that he’s felt like he needed.
eddie was just hard to articulate into words, a friend who, like steve, taught him he could still be into d & d, still like weird and nerdy shit, and still find a place to fit in. a place where eddie made sure he fit in. he’s talking suddenly, blurting the first thing to mind. ❝ i miss him. he cut the rope, to the upside down, you know, right before he . . . hence the ─ ❞ he gestures to his leg, head shaking slowly, eyes wet again. not only did he try to protect hawkins, he tried to protect dustin, too.
❝ i tried to get there in time. ❞