Dee is Decomposing

alrighty goodbye from @johnnie-b-walker

but i can never talk about it. their problems are more important. i wonder if they worry about me at all or if they're just glad that i'm still there giving them support and shutting up about my own problems

i like the cold much better than the warm, that's for sure. i don't enjoy how it makes this body shake though. it's too much movement at once. the perfect temperature is right above when the shivering starts.

i'm convinced it's the worms in me giving me these cravings or something because it doesn't even feel like i want the thing, it feels like an outside force is instructing me to get the thing. it's weird

i tried to OD yesterday and completely failed. the worst part of it was that it made me feel like i was being forced to be alive even harder. the dizziness and nausea were worse than anything i've ever experienced before. i kept trying to just let myself die, but it's like death was just out of my reach. absolutely miserable experience. if i do this again, i'll need to make sure i have more meds on hand.