foolish, fragile spine.

          ❛   AND  THAT’S  WHY  WE’RE  FRIENDS  ,   M’DEAR  ,   ❜    ariel  grinned  ,   tossing  the  dress  back  on  the  bed  and  collapsing  on  the  small  couch  next  to  mary  .     ❛   i  forgot  to  ask  earlier   ━━━   how  are  you  ?   ❜

“ --- oh, you know, ” mary said vaguely, waving a hand. “ --- i wish i were back in italy right now, but who doesn’t ? ” she raised her eyebrows at her friend. “ --- what about you ? anything new in your life other than a skanky-ish dress ? ”

              ❛      𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐓'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇       .  .  .      saving  it  for     ,     what     ?     One  week      ?     ❜      It  was  a  teasing  smile  that  appeared     ,     the  boy  only  a  little  concerned  over  how  excited  she  was  to  burn  his  clothes      .     He  didn’t  think  it  was  that  bad      .     Hell     ,    the  fabric  breathed     .      It  was  insanely  comfortable     .        ❛     You  get  to  light  my  things  on  fire  and  then  deny  me  my  favorite  alcohol      ?        I’m  starting  to  wonder  what  I’m  getting  out  of  this      ;      besides  a  slightly  bruised  ego      ,      of  course      .      ❜

“ --- it was hard, ” she complained, her pout slightly ruined by her eyes crinkling in laughter. “ --- you don’t UNDERSTAND my struggles, remus. ” but she relented, tilting her head at him fondly, and tried not to think about the last time they’d been drunk together. “ --- alright, i suppose i can bring some vodka as well. it’ll help to get the fire going. but TRUST me, you’re missing out. 9 pm, by the lake ? in case things get out of hand. ”

               𝐇𝐄  𝐋𝐄𝐓  𝐎𝐔𝐓  𝐀  𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇,      loud  and  boisterous    ,     shoulders  shaking  as  his  head  fell  back     .     His  blond  waves  were  messier  than  usual     ,     perhaps  further  proving  her  point  that  he  cared  less  about  his  appearance  and  more  about  the  message      .    But  he  never  really  cared  about  clothing               he  never  had  the  money  to                all  he  cared  about  was  the  image     ;     put  together  and  in  control      .     Now  everyone  knew  the  truth     ,     so  did  he  really  need  to  continue     ?     Yes     ,     obviously      .         ❛      I  can  always  count  on  you  to  be  honest      ,     ❜      he  chuckled    ,    his  smile  still  present  as  he  gently  nudged  her     .        ❛      You  reaaalllyyy  want  to  burn  this  shirt     ,      don’t  you     ?     ❜     His  hand      ,     tattooed  and  slightly  calloused    ,    returned  the  squeeze     ;     a  knowing     ,     albeit  defeated  smirk  soon  appearing     .       ❛      Alright      .     Tonight     .     I’ll  bring  the  shirt     ,     you  bring  the  drinks     .     I’ll  need  a  sedative     .      ❜

“ --- yes ! remus, you will not regret this. it’ll be CATHARTIC, i promise. for me. and my trauma from having to witness that shirt. ” she beamed at him, his laugh buoying her spirits into something that could have been hope. they were gonna be alright. “ --- okay, listen, i KNOW you’re more of a vodka man, but i have a nice bottle of wine direct from italy and i have been saving it for a celebration. ”

        𝐇𝐄  𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃  𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑  𝐇𝐈𝐒  𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒  𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐆𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐓,     the  choice  he  made  to  finally  relax  in  her  presence  considered  stupid     .    He  gave  away  his  trust  far  too  easily    ,     falling  victim  to  her  warm  smile  and  the  way  her  laughter  made  him  feel  at  ease     .     But  he  was  desperate  for  some  understanding     .    Hatred  put  a  sour  taste  in  his  mouth  and  he  much  preferred  to  be  happy                    a  hope  he  often  laughed  at  himself  for  having     .     It  was  foolish     ;     but  he  had  felt  it  before     .     It  was  possible    ,     he  knew  it      .       ❛     I  hate  to  break  it  to  you    ,     Mary    ,    but  I’m  not  sure  anyone  could  forget  what  a  man  eater  you  are     .     ❜      He  donned  a  smile    ,     a  soft  chuckle  breaking  whatever  silence  may  have  remained     .      ❛     Excuse  you     !     ❜     A  look  of  playful  offense  appeared    ,      his  brow  furrowed  as  he  quickly  placed  his  hand  over  his  chest      .       ❛     I’ll  have  you  know     ,     this  shirt  is  extremely  comfortable      .     Besides      -              ❜      He  paused     .         ❛      I  don’t  want  people  to  forget      .     ❜     Maybe  he  was  tired  of  being  silenced     ,      instead  demanding  to  be  heard     ,     even  through  the  barriers  of  a  carefree  grin     ,    similar  to  the  one  he  continued  to  wear      .       ❛     Figure  if  I  don’t  want  people  to  tear  me  down    ,     I  should  lead  by  example     .     But  if  you’re  looking  to  burn  something     ,     I   supposed  I  could  give  you  a  sock     .  .  .     so  long  as  you  don’t  burn  me  too     .     ❜  

she raised her eyebrows at him at his man eater comment, lips parted in amusement. “ --- what, lil old me ? you big flatterer. ” she studied his smile, wondering how much of it was genuine, and hoping most of it was. but she’d heard the whispers. it must be tough to be remus lupin right now. and yet, here he was wearing it on his sleeve proudly -- literally. she supposed there was probably something admirable about that. but still. mary wrinkled her nose at him, reaching out to give his hand a squeeze. “ --- remus, i love you, and i’m telling you this as a friend. you do know there are other ways of setting an example than literally throwing ANY fashion sense you once had out the window, right ? ”

            𝐈𝐓  𝐖𝐀𝐒  𝐀𝐍  𝐎𝐃𝐃  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  𝐅𝐎𝐑  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐖𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐃     .     Not  everyday  was  the  young  Remus  Lupin  left  speechless     ,     sitting  with  his  normally  bright  eyes  just  a  shade  brighter     .     Ever  since  the  news  came  out     ,     he  had  been  different     ;     the  charming  boy  who  once  permeated  happiness  having  been  drained  empty    .      It  was  often  a  false  happiness  that  others  recognized     ,     but  happiness  nonetheless    ,    enough  to  keep  curious  eyes  at  bay     .     Though  now  they  lingered  everywhere       ,     around  every  corner      ,     nook       ,       and  cranny     .     He  was  practically  a  celebrity  now     .         ❛      Eh      .       ❜     Words  were  stuck  in  his  throat     ,     replaced  with  a  brief  chuckle  as  he  smiled  an  embarrassing  smile     .       ❛      It’s  been  better      ,      Mary    .      ❜      Despite  the  serious  nature  of  his  words     ,     an  amused  twinkled  remained  in  his  eyes     .     He  missed  her     .       ❛      But  it’s  like  I  always  say     .  .  .      When  life  closes  one  door     ,     you  set  that  damn  thing  on  fire     .      Or  you  go  to  Italy     .     ❜

“ --- WELL, there you go. easy fix. just go to italy, and i’m sure once you’re back this will all have blown over, ” mary said breezily, quickly settling back into her usual businesslike cheer. “ --- i mean, just look at me. i went to italy, and everyone’s completely forgotten i’m a vampire. in fact, if you brought it up with anyone, i guarantee you they’d have NO clue what you were talking about. ” she had lapsed into meaningless, bubbly chatter, the best way she knew how to comfort someone. and she continued to do so as she took a seat across from him, diverting her gaze from his brightened eyes as she fished around in her bag for nothing in particular. “ --- you’ll have to get rid of those shirts, though, otherwise everyone will remember as soon as you get back, and then italy will all have been for nothing. i can burn it for you, if you like. please let me burn it. i said i didn’t hate the shirt for the sake of the metaphor, but metaphors aside, i HATE the shirt, remus. it’s such an ugly shirt. ”

❛ can’t say i’m surprised, stunning girl like you? bet you’ve got the boys going mad, half of gryffindor house must not know which way is up or down, all flustered with just one glance at that show stopping tan of yours. sadly my dear, it’s faded. you still look just as dazzling though. ❜

“ --- marlene, you CAN’T dish out all these compliments at once and then take them away, just like that. it’s just cruel. beauty has made you cruel. ”

          ❛   alright  ,   honest  opinions  only   ━━━   ❜    ariel  began  ,   holding  the  dress  up  against  her  slim  (  and  ever  thinning  )  frame  .     ❛   what’d  we  thing  ?   slutty  enough  while  still  conservative  or  just  plain  whore  ?   ❜

“ --- mmm. a BIT on the whore side, but you know, if that’s what you’re feeling then that’s what you’re feeling. i’m not judging. ”

            Remus  Lupin  hated  to  be  wrong     .     He  prided  himself  on  rarely  having  to  deal  with  that  disappointment     ,     putting  his  own  intellect  on  a  pedestal  from  time  to  time     .     But  lately     ,     it  seemed  like  he  was  wrong  more  often  than  not      .     That  moment  though    ,    sitting  there  with  awe-struck  eyes  laid  firmly  on  the  brunette     ,     he  wasn’t  too  angry      .     With  quick  flashbacks  of  his  last  encounter    ,     he  half  expected  her  to  start  yelling  at  him     ,    perhaps  even  throwing  in  a  quick  slap  for  good  measure      .    But  she  laughed  instead    ,     and  he  felt  his  heart  skip  a  beat     .      ❛     Thank  you      ,      ❜      he  whispered  in  kind     ,     ignoring  her  joke  in  favor  of  his  own  gratefulness      .     Remus  didn’t  smile  or  mimic  her  chuckle     ,     instead  he  continued  to  stare    ,     an  indebted  spark  visible  in  his  brightened  hues     .

she wished she could kiss him. it wasn’t fair, how he could stare at her like that and expect her to just keep her composure and pretend like she was fine. she met his gaze for a few seconds before she had to look away, lifting her shoulder with an awkward half-laugh. “ --- you don’t need to thank me. ” she licked her lips, smoothing her skirt just to have something to do with her hands, and cast her gaze around the room before it finally landed back on him. “ --- so. um. how’s life ? ” an incredibly poor conversation starter, but that stupid stare had her a little flustered.

            Is  it  true     ?

            He  was  contemplative  in  his  silence     ,     bringing  his  pen  between  his  lips  as  he  began  to  roll  up  the  parchment  before  him      .      The  situation  he  was  in  was  impossible  at  best                         he  couldn’t  explain  how  much  he  missed  their  ignorance     .      Shooting  her  an  arched  brow      ,     the  pen  now  loosely  dangling  free  as  he  shoved  the  essay  in  his  bag     ,     he  ignored  her  question      .          ❛     And  what  of  my  shirt     ?     Do  you  like  my  shirt     ?      ❜     They  thought  he  was  kidding     ,     or  perhaps  insane     ,     to  go  about  wearing  ironic  werewolf  t-shirts      .      I    know     ,      I   know      ,    he  said     .      T-shirts  aren’t  really  my  style      .

            His  too  blue  eyes  watched  her  with  something  akin  to  concern     .     Soon  his  smile  faded     ,     the  boy  leaning  forward  slightly  as  an  undeniable  yearning  slipped  free     .      ❛     Or  do  you  hate  it     ?      ❜      His  question  was  obviously  aimed  at  something  else     ,     the  meaning  clear  as  he  waited  for  an  answer     .    He  told  himself  he  wouldn’t  care     ,     but  there  was  no  fighting  the  fact  that  her  opinion  mattered  more  than  most      .     This  is  why  he  had  kept  to  himself  for  so  long     ;     he  wasn’t  ready  for  it      .

she understood this was his version of an admission, and she bit her lip, her gaze resting on the pen dangling from his fingers. the way his smile faded from his features hurt mary in a way that was almost physical. how long had he been keeping this secret, afraid of judgement? “ --- i mean ... ” she began, searching for the words to go along with this metaphor he’d chosen. “ --- i’m surprised. i would’ve never thought it was, um, your style, ” mary said honestly. she paused, and then gave him a shrug, a helpless laugh escaping her lips. “ --- but of course i don’t HATE it. i could never HATE it. ” and it was true. it scared her, a little, but not as much the lycanthropy itself as the unfamiliarity of it all. and she wished he’d told her, although she understood why he hadn’t. but try as she might, she couldn’t reconcile the boy in front of her with what everyone said werewolves were. she just couldn’t. she cleared her throat faintly, glancing down at his shoes again. “ --- i definitely hate the moccasins, though. i mean, those are just unforgivable. ”

❛ did i stutter macdonald? don’t worry though, there’s hope for you yet.❜

“ --- oh, you’re lucky you missed the first week. i wintered in italy, you know. my skin was all tan, and GLOWING -- you would’ve been sick with jealousy. ”

             ❛     Naturally     .      Do  you  at  least  like  the  shoes     ?       ❜      With  a  casual  use  of  his  pointer  finger     ,     he  motioned  toward  his  moccasins     ;     worn  for  comical  purposes     ,     and  the  sad  fact  that  they  were  the  comfiest  things  he’d  ever  put  to  skin     .

mary raised her eyebrows wryly, a shadow of amusement appearing at the corner of her mouth. “ --- you look like a grandpa. ” she hesitated, her lips slightly parted, an unspoken question lodged in her throat. she took a breath. hesitated again. and then, all in a rush, before she lost her courage -- “ --- hey, is it, um, is it true ? what they’re saying ? ”

❛ you know sometimes i don’t measure the consequences of my actions but i’m horrified it harmed you in any way? how about we have a girls night and i make it all better. get your skin onto my level while we’re at it.❜

“ --- oh, so you think your skin’s better than mine ? is that what i’m hearing, mckinnon ? ”

              ❛     Just     .  .  .     for  the  sake  of  full  disclosure     -                  i  know  you’re  standing  there      ,     and  I  see  you  staring  at  me     .     ❜ 

whoops. caught. mary made a face at him, teasing and unsure. “ --- i was just thinking about how ugly you are. ”

lily paused, her pursed lips softening at the girl’s invitation. she didn’t answer, instead stepping forward so mary might see the mildly displeased head girl. her arms crossed and gaze curious as she studied the gryffindor’s set up.    ❛  is that right ?   ❜   there was a moment of hesitation, a scolding laying stagnant in her throat. but rather than clear it, lily moved to dump her soft robe on the bathroom’s counter. shockingly ready to stall plans of what she’d imagined would be a night of all too rare peace. she’d needed it. but mary had gone and beaten her to the punch.  the corner of her lip turning up with a light rush of humor,  lily tapped her own cheek.      ❛  you missed a spot. –there… . you’re all sorts of lost tonight, mare.   ❜    

a rush of fondness warmed the witch as she beamed at her friend. she’d expected lily to lay down the law, assume the role of head girl she was so good at playing. this was a pleasant surprise. “ --- there, see ? see how LOST i’d be without you ? ” her words were spoken in jest, but they were true. especially at times like this, times where mary doubted her place in this world she’d come to call home, she’d look at lily in all of her confidence and determination, and she’d feel better. inspired. having finished fixing the spot she’d missed, mary scooped up another fingerful of face mask and beckoned to lily. “ --- alright, evans, your turn. you’ll be the most exfoliated head girl in hogwarts history by the time i’m done with you. ”