You're My Weakspot

Dean treats John's orders like commandments and follows them without question. When John isn't physically present to give orders, Dean treats his journal like the Bible. The voicemails Dean leaves on John's phone are prayers. In 1.09, he leaves a message saying: "I know I've left you messages before. I don't even know if you get them. [...] but I don't know what to do. So whatever you're doing, if you could get here... Please." So not only is he praying, his prayers are going unanswered. He's starting to question his faith, starting to feel alone.

But the moment Dean truly and completely loses faith in John is in 2.01 when he tells Dean he needs to be prepared to kill Sam. This is the first order from John that Dean refuses to follow, and I think it clearly marks the end of Dean defining himself by his devotion to John and the beginning of Dean defining himself by his devotion to Sam.

What's really interesting about this change is that Dean does not replace John with Sam (he does not look to Sam for orders or guidance for example) but instead tries to become what John was to him for Sam. While Sam wants an equal partnership, Dean can only accept a relationship where one person has complete authority (not unlike God). For Dean, this authority is first exercised by deciding not to kill Sam and later by making the same deal as John to bring Sam back from the dead.

stackednatural, february 14

Like it’s my job to keep him safe.

This obsession to save Dean?