THERE & BACK

Every now and then, you invite yourself back into my thoughts. And I always recall how no matter what kind of hell you put me through, I wanted it to be you more than anything. And even though that’s not how things worked out, it’s ok. But what’s not ok is that you coming back, pretending like you didn’t leave this unsettled frigidness in my bones. I didn’t know who I was when you came around, but I know that I didn’t like who I’d become when you left. And it breaks my heart into a million tiny pieces to say this, but I would give anything to forget you.  If I could, I would collect a jar of your laughter from my ears, and hand it back to you without skipping a beat. If I could, I would erase every smile from my memory.   Because every time I remember anything good from this, I give my mind the opportunity to invite the pain back in.  Saying this to you is like pulling out shards of glass from my skin. And I could almost howl from how much it hurts, but I will never heal the same way unless I do.

The strongest people aren’t always the people who win, but the people who don’t give up when they lose.

It’s a funny thing about coming home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You’ll realize what’s changed is you.

ickyvicccky:

assumes the worst in everything