Dollys page

Work had been grueling these past few weeks, shifts seeming to blur into one, back to back consults and surgeries, piles upon piles of unfinished charts that never seemed to get smaller no matter how many you completed, adrenaline highs followed with the crashes and the constant joy of dealing with Robby's never ending shit. 

Your body ached, eyes sagged with exhaustion, mood snappy and impatient. He had noticed, watched as you worked yourself to the bone never taking a break, he saw the way you didn't eat on shift and downed red bulls as if they were water and he saw the way robby had been treating you he watched more worried by each passing day. 

He hated seeing you like this, like a broken shell of yourself, barely keeping it together- that's why he had organised tonight. He knew Saturday was your last shift for a few days so he had invited you over to spend the night, something the two of you hadn't been able to do for a long while and he'd be lying if he said that he wasn't excited to finally have you in his arms again.

He opened the door and took you in for a second, your curls were pulled back by a head band, small bits of frizz sticking out in a way that he adored, you held a small overnight bag over your shoulder and a tank top and what he recognised as his sweat grey sweat pants, the pair he had given to you the first time you guys had hooked up. 

You looked nothing short beautiful, bringing a small smile to the corner of his mouth. 

“Hey sweetheart” his voice sent a welcoming warmth down to your stomach as he reached out to take hold of your bag with one hand, the other pulling you into his chest. You rested your forehead there as he twirled his fingers around your hair, resting his chin atop your head as he spoke again.

“Been a tough few weeks hasn't it” he asked, slowly and carefully walking you out of the doorway and into his apartment. He felt as you nodded against him, a sigh left his mouth a hand coming down to rub soft circles along your back. “ I know sweetheart…you did so good though” you felt a kiss come down to the crown of your head bringing a small smile to your face as you gave a small thank you. 

“You hungry? I've ordered in sushi” you perked up at the mention of one of your favourite foods

“Shushi?” a laugh came from jack as he looked down at the small smile that appeared on your face, one that he hadn't seen in weeks. He pulled away and made way to the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out containers of sushi, you watched on - stomach softly growling at the sight of food that wasn't a redbull or energy bar.

“We’ve got salmon and avocado, tuna roll, california roll, sashimi, nagiri…take your pick baby.”

—----------------------------

Jack's bedroom was filled with a soft yet comforting silence,you laid next to him with his arms draped lazily over you. The night had been good, exactly what you needed to ease the tension that had been building up in your body. 

You laid there eyes closed, hand resting on top of his bare chest. He watched you, taking in your appearance once again, your hair laid messy and loose on your back, skin flushed and glowing from the post orgasm bliss. His hands came to your face, calloused from years of rough and hard work, they touched your face gently, fingers tracing small circles along your cheek bones. It brought a tired smile to your face, you reached up without opening your eyes and pressed his hand to your chest, holding it close.

“There she is” Jack's voice was quiet and soft, breaking the silence of the room “thought you had fallen asleep on me sweetheart” you let out a low laugh as you reached out your arms, stretching your limbs yawning in the process. You laid your head back down this time on his shoulder, his arms coming up to hold you.

“Rough few weeks?” he spoke again, soft stubble brushing the top of your head as he pressed a kiss on top of it. You hummed in response, mind in a small happy daze. 

“Yeah I saw sweetheart…you want me to get you some water?” he angled to look down at you.

“No stay” Your quiet command to stay made Jack pause from getting up, he looked back down at you, you're peaceful face and it was more than enough to convince him to settle back down, you wanted him to stay and he wasn't about to argue with that.

There's a long stretch of silence after that, comfortable silence between two people simply existing together, Jack enjoyed moments like this with you, cherished them more than anything. He took in you for what felt like the hundredth time that night, not able to get enough of you, he admired every thing about you, every feature and every small detail. God he doesn't think he's ever seen something quite as beautiful before. It made his heart ache with an all too familiar feeling, a feeling that he hasn't felt in a long time.

“I can feel you staring” Jack pauses at your voice, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“Wasnt staring” he moved his thumb to brush a stray curl from your face. You finally open up your eyes to look at him, eyebrows raising slightly in question. Jack laughed at that, head shaking with a small breathy laugh “okay maybe I was” his voice was low, thumb pushing over your shoulder blade as he let his eyes linger on your own. 

“That's what i thought” you joke, eyes closing again, face pushing further into the crook of his neck. He exhales through his nose, almost laughing once again, he doesn't argue with your words, simply accepting the fact he was caught. He didn't mind though, he never minded with you. Instead he settles for pressing a soft kiss to your temple, a firm kiss that lingered for a second before barely pulling away.

“Better?” he mumbled against the skin he had just kissed, voice low and soft with affection. 

A pleased hum leaves your mouth at his words, your mind silently racing with thoughts, all of which included him.

“Jack” he looked down at your voice, hand stopping their movements in your hair. 

“Yeah love?”

“Why are you so good to me?”

The question was muttered so quietly that Jack almost didn't hear it. It made him pause for a second, wondering what made you ask such a question.

Why wouldn't he be good to you? 

“Because you deserve it and I want to” he paused for a second “plus you're tired out” he whispered the last part, hands coming to play with your hair, gently acknowledging the work that you've been doing for everyone. 

“I'm tired?” 

“Absoulty wiped baby…been working your ass off for weeks” he said it matter of factly, his thumb brushing along your cheek bone. 

“So your soultion to that was to have me wined, dined then fucked for three hours straight?” you look back up at him smiling a little. He laughed at that, slightly shocked at your honesty.

“It worked though didn't it?” a smirk tucked at his lips as his hands moved to pull the rest of the way on his chest “felt good?” your eyes found him once again when his finger lifted your chin up to meet him face to face.

“You always make me feel good” your eyes fell down to his lips, your face starting to feel hotter. “Did you feel good?” you ask pressing kisses along his jaw and mouth.

A laugh escaped him “is that even a question’’ his lips met yours once again in a quick yet meaningful kiss. “You should get some sleep baby…your body needs it” his fingers went back to tracing circles on your cheek. 

“But I like this” you mumble as you fall back into the comfort of his strong arms.

He feels it, the way your body leans into him seeking out his comfort and warmth. How your body had relaxed against his touch over the last few hours. He didn't bother to argue with you, didn't fight your words cause damn does he like it to. He slowly adjusts his position moving so that he is fully lying down on the bed now, trying to make it more comfortable for you. 

Rain pattered against the window outside, the sounds of light traffic driving past filling the room as people went on with their own lives out on the streets. He felt so good in this moment, wishing silently for it to never end. 

“Can you touch me again” your voice broke through the room in a quiet command startling him slightly. Your request was soft, asking in a way that wasn't demanding and it bring butterflies back to his stomach. His hand shifts from your own slowly trailing up your stomach making a shiver run down your spine, then move on, coming up to firmly cup your left breast, squeezing ever so gently. The feeling made you gasp slightly, your own hands coming up to his face, angling your head higher so that your lips could touch his, mouths connecting in a firm kiss, your lips were soft against his moving together in practiced precision, heat pooled at the bottom of your stomach once again at the feeling of his lips on yours. Your right hand reached up to grab his own, slowly guiding down below the sheet and between your legs. You pull back to watch for his reaction watching his eyes darken slightly as your hand guides him over your folds. Jack watched on, his length hardening once again at the feeling of you on his hand, his movements were soft and controlled, fingers working gently across your clit. He knew how drained you must have been and he didn't want to over do it. 

Your mouth fell open letting out soft moans as the pleasure slowly began to build, your hands pulled at the nap of his neck whilst your hips began to move in sync with the soft circles of his fingers. 

It was too much yet not enough at the same time…you needed more.

“Need you..fuck…need you inside baby” your voice came out if short gasps or air, hand reaching down towards his abdomen just slightly brushing over the base of his dick, he swore under his breath as he felt you wrap around him stroking him softly. “Please Jackie”.

His brain down right nearly short circuited at the sound of you breathy plea, and who was he to keep his princess from getting what she wants, he moved both his hands up to your back and gently flipped you over so that he was on top of you knees between your legs, his arms were placed on each side of your head, he reached his face done slowly and connected your lips - tongue licking your bottom lip silently asking for access. Your lips parted slightly letting him enter your mouth in a passionate kiss, your moans muffled against his lips as his tongue danced with yours.

He pulls away reluctantly and you whine at the loss. He leaned over towards his night stand, hands quickly finding the draw and pulling it open reaching inside and pulling out a condom. You watched him as he ripped it open with his teeth and rolled it on to his length. The sight sends a jolt of arousal to your core, making you squeeze your thighs shut. He then shifted his gaze back to you, placing a quick kiss to your lips as reassurance before shifting lower under the covers. He pulled your knees apart, spreading your legs open for him. You watch him as your heart rate picks up in anticipation once again.

The room is dark apart from a street light that bled a warm glow though his window, painting your body in gold.

“God you're beautiful” he said breathlessly as he leaned down to kiss along the valley of your breasts “so fucking beautiful” his kisses trailed along to your neck, his breath warm as you felt his tip at your entrance, slowly pushing in with welcomed ease. The feeling of being full again had your back arching up into his body, your mouth falling open in a silent moan at the feeling of being stretched around him. He let out his own ragged moan, hips stuttering slightly as he relished the feeling of you wrapped around him. 

He looks up at you taking in the way your eyes fluttered shut as he went deeper, the way your lips parted in a silent surrender.

Beautiful

He took away one arm from resting above you, putting all his weight to the right side as his hand found its way back to your breasts as he bottomed out inside you. He waited for a moment, not wanting to move until you said he could, his mouth soon joined his hand, taking a nipple into his warm mouth softly sucking on the bud. The sensation made you gasp, you reached to tangle your hands into his locks, arching your chest closer to his mouth. His hand came to the other breast, pinching a groping, rolling your nipple between to fingers with just the right amount of pressure, making you wither under his touch. 

“You can move baby…please” His mouth de tachted from you with a loud pop, his eyes finding yours.

“Yeah?” he searched your face for any discomfort and watched as you nodded you head. “Words sweetheart” he gently reminded you. 

“Yes please jack” he smiled, satisfied with your answer. Not needing to be told again jack rolled his hips against you, his thrusts slow yet firm, sending jolts of pleasure throughout your body. 

“Fuck jack” you whispered, pulling his lips down to meet yours in passionate kiss, tongue sliding against your own. You felt as he angled his hips higher, now hitting deeper inside you. You felt as he brushed against that sponge spot inside of you, causing you hands to tug at the hair on the base of his neck, a loud moan escaping you. 

“Jesus sweetheart" he grunted against you, a sound that only sent you closer to the edge “you feel so fucking good baby” you moaned out at the praise, panting against his mouth as his hips moved faster. 

You needed more, your hand snuck down between your bodies and quickly found you clit, rubbing soft circles on the bundle of nerves. The sensation has you throwing your head back against the pillows and heavy pants leaving your mouth. Jack watched as you touched yourself, watched your fingers move with practice ease, the imagine had him swearing under his breath as he, watching you chase your high. 

You felt the sensation begin to build, that familiar band in your stomach growing tighter and tighter with each thrust from him and each flick of your fingers against your clit. God it felt so good. 

“You close sweetheart” Jack grunted out, hips slamming into yours, his hand coming down to replace your own, quickly rubbing his thumb over your clit. You cried out at the feeling, body jolting and nails scratching down Jack's back. 

“Yes! Fuck please jack- f-fuck im gonna come” you stuttered out, the pleasure becoming to much, you were so close, so fucking close. 

“Then come sweetheart” 

That did it, you threw your head back as the band finally snapped, hot white waves of pleasure rolling through your body. Jack watched in awe at the pure sight of you, he felt his own orgasm crashing over hims as your nails dug further into his back. He fucked you both through it, hips slowing down as you ride out your high. The waves of pleasure were soon replaced by pure bliss, your eyes closed as you held on to him tighter, trying to catch your breath.

The two of you stay that way for a while, tangled in the sheets, savouring each other's touch. You felt his heartbeat against your own, skin still damp with sweat, the mixture bringing comfort through your body. 

You felt him shift ever so slightly against you, just enough to press feather light kisses across your face, his hand coming up to brush the hair sticking to your forehead away from your face. You smile at him, a small but happy smile that showed content, he smiled back soft like her own. His thumb traced across your cheek before he gently cupped it and pulled you in for another kiss, a softer one this time, one that held all the emotions that neither of you wanted to say out loud. He pulled back and rested his head on your chest, your fingers running through his hair. 

“I think you have well and truly tired me out dr abbot” he laughed quietly at your word, slowly pulling himself up and out of you carefully, he watched as you softly whined at the feeling. He quickly compromised by lying down and pulling you to lay on top of him. A dull ache began to form between your legs but you couldn't find it in you to care about it, your body too relaxed in his arms to even give it a second thought.

“Good maybe now you can get a proper night's worth of sleep” he mumbled against the crown of your head. You hummed in response, heavy eyes already closed, your body finally letting itself relax in a way that it hadn't been able to in weeks.

Jack stayed there until he felt your breaths even out and body slump into him more, he looked down at your peaceful form and pressed a kiss to your forehead, carefully bringing the covers of his bed further over your body. 

“Good night sweetheart” he whispered gently to you before he let his own eyes finally shut.

Thank you for reading loves! 💕

this is my first fic in a few years so I'm sorry if she's a bit rusty tehe 🤭

i hope you enjoyed this one! reblogs are always welcomed!

You hadn't meant for her to see you like this, she was supposed to be out tonight. A special team dinner to celebrate their recent win.  

The feeling of guilt started to pool at the bottom of your stomach, you had ruined her night. 

Your eyes glassed over as you watched her hand on your thigh, pushing hard against you, sending a jolt of pain up your body. She squeezed your hand gently in a silent apology. Her hands worked quickly, tightly securing the bandage. You felt her lips place a soft kiss on your once exposed skin.  

She looked up towards you, eyes trying to find yours, but you refused to meet her gaze, worried to see what you might find in them. 

Would she be annoyed, angry, disappointed? 

“Hey” Her voice caught your attention, pulling you slightly out of the thoughts that were beginning to consume you.  

“what's on your mind love?” she questioned, her hand cupping your cheek with softness the other still keeping its place on your thigh, rubbing soft patterns along the bandaged skin. 

“I'm sorry” the whispered words left your lips so softly she almost didn't hear them. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for baby” she sat down beside you, pulling you to sit in her lap. Her fingers making their way to your hair, “this happens, okay? Its apart of process” 

The tears in your eyes started to fall at her words. You knew this was a part of recovery, a part of getting better, but it didn't make it any less hard, no matter how many times it happens.  

“How about we get up, hm? And we get into some comfortable clothes and cuddle in bed?” she asked, dragging her fingers through your hair. “We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, love- not yet anyway”. You nodded your head at her question, arms going around her neck as she carried you out of the bathroom towards your shared bedroom, placing you on top of the bed gently.   

You watched as she pulled clothes out of her side of the wardrobe, both for you and her.  your eyes beginning to stray back down to your wounded skin, tears still flowing as guilt pooled in your stomach, again.  

“Arms up” Leahs hushed voice reached your ear as her finger tugged on the hem of your tank top. Your arms moved mechanically, feeling your top slide over your head; quickly being replaced by a familiar arsenal hoodie. A warm comfort filled your body as the smell of Leahs perfume wrapped around you like a hug. 

Your eyes strayed on her figure as you watched her change into her own clothes before climbing under the covers of the bed, her arms reaching out towards you. A small smile tugged at your lips as you took in the sight in front of you, her hair a perfect mess on top of her head; blond flyways framing her face and her grey hoodie pulled slightly over her head. Her lips holding a slight smile as you looked at her. 

“Quit staring and get over here” her voice was playful as she pulled back the cover, beckoning you over. You quickly obliged, practically launching your body towards your gf and flopping your body down into her awaiting arms. Her hand found its way to your hair, softly stroking her fingers through the curls while the other found its way to your waist, pulling you in closer to her.  

You’re not sure how long you stayed there but the feeling of Leahs fingers carding themselves through your hair and tracing delicate patterns along your exposed skin; made your eyes heavy with sleep. A small yawn slipped from your mouth as you nuzzled your face closer in the crook of her neck. 

“Go to sleep my love” her lips pressed a longing kiss to the top of your head, spreading a warm feeling of comfort through your body as you closed your eyes. 

“I love you” your voice came out muffled, laced with sleepiness, making a small slip pass Leahs lips. 

You through your head back, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt her tongue run through your folds again. You tried to shut your thighs, trying to push her head away from your aching core, feeling too sensitive from the two previous orgasm she’d already given you. She wasn't having it though, pushing herself closer to you, latching on to your puffy clit. 

“Fuck Kerstin!” you moaned, hips snapping upwards into her face.  

“Yeah, love?” she said pulling away slightly, her lips glistening with your juices, her calloused finger moving to rub soft circles on your abused bud. 

“I can't-” you gasped out, fingers grasping tightly at the sheets “too much”. 

“Oh, my poor baby” she removed her fingers from you, crawling up from the space between your legs, kissing away the trail of tears that began to fall from your eyes. 

“You can give me one more, can't you love?” she said, her lips finding their way to your own, kissing you passionately. She pushed her Tongue into your mouth, swirling it around with your own before you softly sucked on it, tasting yourself. She pulled away, eyes searching for your own, her hand coming up to stroke your face. 

“See how good you taste baby?” she leaned down to kiss your neck, smirking slightly as you let out a small moan when she sucked particularly hard at your sweet spot. 

“Wanna taste you again” she voiced, her body leaving a trail of kisses along your body as she made her way down to her original position between your thighs, kissing the plush skin before looking up at you. 

“Are you gonna let me baby?” she questioned her hands slowly inching closer to your core. “You gonna let me taste you again?” her hand reached your core making you gasp, her fingers gliding over your hole, finding the new arousal that had gathered there. 

She looked up at you again, seaching your eyes for an answer. She looked so beautiful between your legs, eyes blown, your wetness covering lips and her hair sticking to her forehead, sure you found her beautiful all the time but moments like this had to be one of your favorites. 

“You still with me, pretty girl?” You were brought out of your daydreams by her soft voice and the slight tap to your left thigh. You nodded at her, bring your hand to your mouth, biting on the delicta skin around your nails. 

“Whatcha thinking about love?” she said, tracing soothing patterns along the marks shed left of your thighs. 

“you” you replied honestly making her chuckle slightly. 

“Do you want this?” she asked, waiting for your consent before she went any further.  

You nodded your head at her again, watching her shake her head in reply, opening her mouth up to speak again. 

“I need you to use your words for me baby, do you want this?” she asked again, pleased this time as you let out a verbal answer. 

“Yes, I want you Kerstin” she smiled at you, placing one last kiss to both your thighs. 

“there's my good girl” she said before diving in. 

You moaned at the praise, hands quickly coming down to tangle in her hair, pushing her further into you as she lapped at your cunt. She moved her mouth upwards, taking in your clit and sucking harshly, moaning when you tugged her hair after.  

You felt that familiar coil in your stomach start to grow as she continued to eat you out like a starved woman, switching between flicking and sucking at your clit.  

“Mm, fuck! K-Kerstin" you through your head back, arching your back as she slipped two fingers inside of you, moving them at a fast pace while she lapped at your clit. 

“You doin so good for me love” she mumbled into your throbbing bud, sending vibration through your core. You moaned loudly, untangling your fingers from her head, reaching out in search for her other hand. She grabbed your lacing your fingers together. 

She looked up at you, watching the way your chest rose and fell with each jagged breath, the way your stomach began to tighten, she knew you were close. 

“You close baby?” she said, pulling away from you slightly, curling her fingers into you, smirking when she watched your back arch up when she hit that spot inside you. “You gonna cum for me love? Gonna make a mess on my fingers f’me” she breathed out, quickly going back to sucking at your clit. 

“Yes, I'm so clo- please don't stop baby” you replied, rutting your cunt into her face, trying to gain for friction. You could feel the coil in your stomach getting tighter and tighter, your legs begging to tremble. 

“Come for me love”  

That was all you needed to hear, your thighs clamped around her head as white-hot flashes of pleasure ran up your spine and through your body, moaning her name loudly as you came. Kerstin's fingers struggling to move as your pussy tightened around her, eyes stuck on your core, watching with a cocky smirk as liquid squired out of your sensitive cunt, soaking her hand and the bed sheets. 

Your legs began to tremble as Kerstin continued to fuck you through your third orgasm of the morning, the feeling quickly becoming too much as your orgasm died down, the feeling over overstimulation kicking in.  

“Too much” you said while grabbing her wrist. A groan left your mouth as she pulled her fingers out of you, moving them up to her mouth and sucking them clean. 

“You taste she good baby, did so well for me” she crawled her way up to you, laying down on the other side of the bed and pulling you into her side. 

“You made me feel so fucking good” you said into her neck, kissing the skin softly. 

She chuckled at that, pecking the top of your head whilst tracing patterns along your hip. 

“I should hope so, you fuckin squirted baby”  

You shot up at that, looking down at the large wet patch that sat in the middle of the sheets. Your face heated up in embarrassment, eyes shutting before you mumbled an apology towards your girlfriend. 

“Sorry, I don-” you paused “I've never done that before” you looked down, fiddling with your fingers. 

“Hey, none of that okay” she grabbed your face, Turing you to meet her eyes “It was so fucking hot” she was quick to reassure you, pulling your body back into hers. 

“But what about the sheets?” you said, looking up at her. 

“We can change them, I have more” she looked in your eyes “you did so well more me love” she pulled you in for a kiss, gentler than the others that were shared between the two of you this morning. 

“Come on let’s get your cleaned up, we’ve got to be at training in an hour” she pulled away, getting out of bed and walking towards your shared bathroom. 

“Babe!” you called out, stopping her in her tracks as she turned to look at you, raising her eyebrow at you. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her eyes were glued to you, she couldn't pull them away. You swayed your hips in time with the music, dragging your hands along your body. The little red dress you decided to wear hugging your soft curves perfectly. You were absolutely captivating to her. Your eyes locked in that moment, and she felt a smirk tugging at her lips as she watched your eyes drag along her body, shamelessly checking her out. You made your way over to the booth she was sitting in alone, the rest of your teammates either on that dance floor or at the bar. Watching as her eyes travelled along your body. 

“Come dance with me” you said, grabbing her hands and trying to pull the tall girl up to her feet. The loud music of the club thumping in your head.  

“why don't you come over here and sit with me?” she tugged you down forcefully onto her lap, hands gripping your hips to keep you in place.  

“Mary” you whined trying to pull yourself off her “people are going to see” a giggle left your lips as she once again pulled you back down.  

“Let them, I'm getting tired of hiding you” you could feel her warm breath tickle the side of your ears as she spoke, sending a shiver down your spine. “Want them to know that you're mine”. She started kiss along your neck, trailing along your shoulder blade to the bottom of your ear, a pleasant hum leaving your mouth as she sucked particularly hard on your sweet spot. 

You had known Mary for only a short amount of time, having only joined the team a few months ago. but you became close friends quickly, the both of you feeling the strong connection between you too. The friendship quickly turned into something more when a drunken kiss was shared between you. she was much older than you  

“Is this you talking or the alcohol?” you questioned with a slight giggle as she continued to press teasing kisses to your neck. 

“Drunk words are just sober thoughts, love” she turned you face back towards her, your noses almost touching. You watched her eyes slowly trail down towards your lips and back to your eyes, a small smirk appearing on her lips as she closed the small gap between you. You kissed her back, her soft lips slotting between yours perfectly. Kissing Mary had to be one of your favorite things to do, Youd spend all day kissing her if you could. Your lips moved against hers rhythmically as your fingers founding their way into her hair and tugging softly at the roots, you were rewarded with a soft moan for the other women, taking the opportunity to push your tong past her lips. 

You pulled away from the girl, her lips chasing after yours with a pout. You placed your hands on her shoulders pushing her back into the seat.  

“They’re watching” you whispered, playing with the ends of her hair. Her face was flushed and smiled graced her lips. She looked up to your eyes and then back to your lips, moving closer towards them again until you stopped her with another gentle push. You looked over her shoulder, making eye contact with Ella, her jaw nearly on the floor with what she had just witnessed. You smiled sheepishly at her and gave her a quick wink before turning you attention back to the girl Infront of you. 

“they're too drunk to remember anyway” she pressed her nose to your neck, kissing your collarbone and breathing in the subtle smell of your familiar perfume; the one she had brought you for your birthday. 

A comfortable silence settled between the two of you. Both of you observe the many people that filled the club, occasionally pointing out when one of you saw one of your teammates do something stupid or funny.  

“You played well today love” her fingers traced soft patterns of your hips as she spoke, your heart fluttering at the action. 

“So did you” you breathed out, turning to look at her with a grin. Man-united had a match earlier that day against Liverpool and had won 3-0; with 2 of those goals being yours. Your team had decided that it was a win worth celebrating and had all made your way to a club nearby. That was hours ago though, the time now well into the early morning. 

“Do you remember what I said before they game?” the older girl questioned. You turned towards her, her eyes were dark with an all too familiar look in them, lust. You thought for a moment, thinking back to the previous morning. 

Mary had you on top of the kitchen counter, tongue in your mouth and hands clutching your waist under your shirt. You had one hand on her chest and the other on the back of her neck, pulling her closer to you. Your hips started to buck into the goalkeeper, desperate for more friction. You whined when she pulled away and her hands held your hips down. 

“We don't have time baby” she whispered. 

“I'll be quick” you replied with a pout “I promise” she let out a small chuckle at your words. 

“As much as I would love to see how fast I can make you cum, we have to be at the training grounds in 5 minutes” she said while looking at the watch on her hand “and it takes 10 minutes to get there, so were already running as late as it is”. She ran her thumb over the angry wrinkles between your furrowed brows, whispering a quick apology. 

“How about this then” she spoke while helping you off the counter and collecting both of your bags “if you score today, we can do anything you want when we get home”. 

“Anything?” you raised your eyebrow. 

“anything” she held out her pinky towards you. 

“Okay then” you smiled and gave her a quick kiss while locking your pinky's and walking out the door. 

“You still with me love” her soft voice brought you out of your thoughts and you looked at her with a wide grin. 

“I do remember” you leaned in closer and pressed your lips to hers once again, your lips moving together with ease. Her fingers brushed against you face as the two of you made out, not caring anymore about the people around you. She reluctantly pulled away, grabbing both of your jackets and bags and pulling her up with. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The warm water trickled down your body. You were sat in the shower, eyes staring at the tiled floor. Your fingers had started to grow soft and wrinkly. You don’t know how long you had been in there, lost in your own thoughts about dinner tonight. What would you order, what would you wear, would people judge?

Team dinners were nights you use to enjoy, nights filled with fun and laughter, but that was before everything. Now you just felt uncomfortable and awkward, never knowing what to do with yourself. You hadn't attended a team dinner, or any team bonding's that involved food, for a good while. Always coming up with some excuse as to why you couldn’t attend.

Beth and Viv had insisted that you go to this one though, leaving no room for arguments.

You slowly stood up turning the hot water off. Grabbing a towel and heading straight for your room, slamming the door behind you.

Viv flinched at the sound, looking towards Beth who was sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket with Myle. Walking over, she placed a soft kiss on top of the older girl's forehead, sitting down next to her. Beth smiled in return, resting her head on top of Viv shoulder as a comfortable silence filled the room.

The two hadn't talked to you about what happened today, both wanting to wait till tomorrow; when you all had the day off, to bring it up with you. They weren't sure how to go about it, both scared at how you will react, will you accept that you need help? Or will you deny what they both knew was clearly happening and sink further in to the walls that you had slowly started to put up.

The comfortable silence was soon interrupted by your loud footsteps coming down the stairs. They both turned in your direction and taking in your form, you didn’t look great if they were being honest, you looked tired, your lips were chapped, skin pale and dark eyebags plagued your face, you looked sick.

You stood there, awkwardly holding a hairbrush in your right hand and a hair tie in your left.

“Would one of you be able to brush my hair please” your voice was hoarse and scratchy, standing there fiddling with the hair tie between your fingers waiting for an answer.

“OfCourse love” Beth said, sitting up straight from Viv's arms, lightly patting the floor Infront of her.

A small smile graced your face as you mumbled a quiet thanks and shuffled your way towards her. sitting down with your legs crossed handing her both the hair tie and brush.

As Beth started to slowly detangle the ends of your hair, your mind started to wonder again. You thought about the events that took place earlier that day and guilt quickly started to spread across your body. Why had you yelled at Caitlin like that? All she was doing was checking in on you and you had gone and snapped at her Infront of your teammates.

“I'm sorry about today” you whispered out. Beth stopped her movements for a brief second before continuing as she spoke.

“it's okay love, but it's not us you need to be apologizing to” She was almost surprised, not expecting you to apologize so fast.

“I'll apologize to her tonight, it's at her and katies places, isn't it?” you asked, turning around to see both women nodding their heads.

It was silent again after that. The only sounds coming from your tangled hair as Beth tried to run the brush threw it as gently as she could, not wanting to hurt you. You sat like that for at least half an hour while picking at your nails; an unhealthy habit you had picked in your early teen years.

“How do you want your hair liefde?” Viv asked while switching spots with Beth. Viv had always been better at doing hair, she braided it for you on most game days, but she wasn’t as gentle as Beth when it came to brushing out the tangles.

“Just a half up half down, please”

Viv nodded and got straight to work. As soon as your hair was finished you rushed up stairs to put on outfit, opting for a pair of baggier jeans and your arsenal hoodie. Both the older women waiting for you by the door, Viv jiggling the car keys in her hand.

“Ready to go then?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katie and Caitlin's house were already packed with cars out the front when you arrived, with most of your team already there. You got out of the car and waited for Beth and Viv before walking up to the front door and knocking 3 times.

You stood behind Beth as Caitlin opened the door, ushering you all in and giving each of you a short hug. Beth and Viv both made their way to the living room, Caitlin quick to follow them but before she left, she felt your hand clutch around her Rist.  She turned and looked towards were you held her Rist with furrowed eyebrows and then back to you.

“I- uh sorry” you said while dropping her hand “I just wanted to apologize for today, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that Infront of everyone. I was in a horrible mood today which isn't an excuse, but I still wanted to apologize” you rambled as you played with the sleeves of your hoodie, eyes looking anywhere but at Caitlin, feeling too guilty to look her in the eye.

“Hey, it's okay, I get it we all have bad days” she pulled you into another hug “thank you for apologizing though.”

The two of you walked into the living room where everyone was spread out. Your eyes searched the room trying to find Beth or Viv, they soon settled on Beth who was arguing with Krya over what movie they were going to watch during dinner, Lessie being stuck between the two girls.

“you two are children, honestly” she said while snatching the remote out of their hands and putting on Beths choice. You walked over and sat next to Beth, resting your hand on her shoulder.

“where's Vivi?” you looked up towards her.

“She in the kitchen helping with dinner, pretty sure were having some form of pasta and salad.”

You gulped at the thought, you hadn't eaten pasta in a while and the thought of eating it in front of the team made a shiver go down your spine.

Maybe you could just have the salad? That won't hurt, you thought while picking at your nails, Beth took notice and grabbed your hands.

“You know, you always complain about how your nails never grow yet you still continue chew them off every chance you get” she let out a soft chuckle “what's on your mind love.”

“I apologized” was all you said to the women. You felt her lightly kiss the top of your head before pulling you into a little side hug.

“Good job, I'm very proud of you” her words brought a genuine smile to your face, Beth was always good at that, even on your toughest days she always seemed to find a way to but a smile on your face, even if it was just a small one.

“Alright everyone dinners ready! Come and serve ya selves” the soft moment was interrupted by katies loud voice calling out to everyone.

You all made your way over to the kitchen, grabbing bowls and plates, everyone putting the food of their choice on their plates. As you went to grab your own you were stopped by someone calling your name, turning around to find Viv already holding a bowl out for you.

“I got all your favorites” she said with a smile while handing it to you. She was right, it did contain all your favorite, cheesy pasta, 2 pieces of garlic bread and a bit of Caeser salad. You mumbled a thank you while walking back towards the couch and squishing yourself as far as you could into the corner of it.

You moved your food around with your fork for a bit before bringing a small amount up to your mouth, hand shaking slightly, you took a deep breath hesitating slightly as you put it in your mouth, chewing slowly. You could feel the tears well in your eyes as you took another small bite, hands getting shakier and shakier every time you brought the fork to your mouth. You felt a tear fall down your face slightly, quickly bringing a hand to wipe it before anyone notices it.

Someone did though. You didn’t know it, but you had several eyes watching you as you ate your food. Leah, Viv, Beth and Alessia had all been taking glances at you throughout dinner. Your shacky frame and tearful eyes didn’t go un-noticed by any of them.

As everyone got up to put their dishes in the sink, you took the opportunity to sneak off to the bathroom, leaving your half-eaten dinner on the arm of the couch.

You turned the light and fan on when you entered, locking the door behind you. As you kneeled in front of the toilet you tied the rest of your hair back taking a deep breath.

Alessia hadn't watched you go to the bathroom, but your absence didn’t go un-noticed by her as she looked towards your now empty spot of the couch and your barley eaten dinner left on the arm. She wasn’t sure where you had gone but she had small hunch she knew where shed fined you.

You jumped as you opened the door, almost falling to the ground, Alessia was standing right Infront of it with her fist raised ready to knock. She too jumped back surprised. She stood there awkwardly playing with her fingers starting at you, thinking over what she was about to say to you.

“Do you need the bathroom? Or…” you spoke breaking the awkward silence.

“Oh ah, no sorry” she took a small step back “I was just wondering where you went, you were gone for a little bit.”

“Well, I was in here, no need to worry” you gave her a tight-lipped smile while awkwardly raising your hands. You liked Alessia, you had only met her a few months ago when she signed for arsenal, but she was a kind girl and in the short time Shes been here she had already felt the need to look out for you as most of the girls did after they met you, perks of being the baby of the team.

“Look, I know you're sick of people asking this but are you sure you're, okay? You barely touched your food, and it looks like you’ve been crying” she tried to look at you in the eyes but yours were looking anywhere but her. “it's alright, you don’t have to talk to me about it, but I am here if anything's bothering you” she said while ducking her head down to finally meet your eyes with a soft, warm smile.

You took a deep breath “there's nothing to talk about, I just ate something before we got here, and it made me feel a little sick is all.’’ You picked at your nails while you talked.

A silence fell between the two of you again as she looked at you. She took in your watery eyes and the way the rest of your hair was tied behind your ears now.

“Can I go now?” you huffed.

She stood there for a moment contemplating whether or not to say the next words that were about to fall out of her mouth. You tried to get past her, but she stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

“what's really going on y/n?” she questioned and when you didn’t answer she took it as an opportunity to push you a bit further. “Talk to me love”.

You don’t know why, maybe it was the comforting hand of your shoulder or the way she spoke so softly to you, but you felt tears well up in your eyes. She noticed to and quickly pulled you in the bathroom again and locked the door, pulling you in to a tight bear hug. That’s what really got you crying, your faced and Alessias jumper quickly getting soaked.

“it's okay” she was lacing her fingers through your hair, rocking you side to side in at a comforting pace.

“I'm sorry” you chocked out, burying your face into chest more while sobbing.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for love, okay? I  ju-” she cut her self-off before continuing “we, just want to help you, okay? But we can't do that unless you tell us what's going on” she spoke, still playing with your hair softly.

“You won't be mad?” you sniffed, finally taking your head out of her chest and looking down at the tear-stained patch that was left behind.

“Never” she said while holding your face in her hands, gently wiping the tears away.

You fully pulled back from her now, moving over to sit on the toilet. You sat there for a while trying to gather your thoughts and were to start, your leg was bouncing up and down while you were lost in thought. A soft hand on your knee brought you back.

“Whatcha thinking?” she asked, her fingers rubbing soothing circles on your knee.

“I don’t know what to say” it came out as a whisper and if less wasn’t as close to as she was right now, she's sure she would have missed it. “Everyone just been so mean since I came back…I mean I knew I had gained a little weight, but I didn’t think it was that bad” you took a deep breath “but then everyone started pointing it out online, so I turned my comments off on Instagram but then they started saying stuff on our official Instagram and then on twitter and…” you trailed off.

“And what?” she pushed.

“I don’t know why I read them in the first place” your eyes started to sting again “it just started off with missing breakfast and few extra trips to the gym but no- now I can't stop” you broke down again, clutching on to the girl Infront of you as she wrapped her arms around you for a second time.

“I didn’t mean for it to go this far” you sobbed out.

“Shh, it'll all be okay, okay? We’ll get you the help you need alright love.”

“No!” you shot out of her grasp “no you can't tell anyone" You looked at her with pleading eyes.

“y/n, you can't keep doing this to yourself, it's dangerous, really fucking dangerous.” Her voice was stern this time “I've been in a similar position to, and I can assure you that I was not strong enough to perform at the level that we do, and if I wasn’t strong enough then you definitely aren't.” She sighed looking at your tear-stained face. “You need help y/n, I know it's scary to ask for it, but I promise you no one is going to judge you for needing it. We’re all worried about you love, Beth and Viv especially” you nodded with every word she said, just staring at the floor. You had never meant to worry Beth and Viv; you hated it when they worried about you.

“I’ll talk to them tomorrow” your voice was horsed and sore from crying.

“I'm so proud of you for saying something, I know that wouldn’t have been easy for you” less stood up bringing you up with her and pulling you into one more hug.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2:15am

You had to be up in a few hours for an early morning training session, but here you are on your phone scrolling through the endless rabbit hole of nasty Comments directed towards your appearance, especially your body.

You had only just come back from an ACL injury that had you out from playing and the public eye for nearly a year, and in that year, you had been working hard to regain your strength making your body stockier than you use to be, and people had noticed.

“She looks like a man.”

“that’s not attractive.”

“She looked better before.”

Your eyes started to sting, a few tears slipping out of them. You turned your phone off and turned around, you tried to stifle your sobs not wanting to wake up Beth and Viv who were sleeping in the room next door.

You had been living with Viv ever since you joined arsenal at 16 as she was your national teammate, so it was only reasonable, Viv and Beth had both taken you under their wing becoming a mother figure to you. Now at 19

You took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut holding the teddy bear that Katie had giving you for a birthday present, tears were still streaming down your face when sleep found you pulling you into a deep sleep.

Your blaring alarm startled you awake, you looked towards clock feeling as though you had only just shut your eyes.

7:30am

You groaned, you had to be at training in an hour. Waddling your way to the bathroom, you could hear Beth and Viv both talking down the hall; more than likely in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast for all of you. When you reached the bathroom and took a look in the mirror you froze taking in your appearance, your eyes were puffy and red, swollen face and hair disheveled.

“Liefde” Viv's voice echoed through the house “do you want to have breakfast here or at the training ground? I’ve made pancakes for Beth and I if you want some?” you heard her gently knock the door. Panicked, you quickly splashed cold water on your face and patted down your hair, hoping you didn’t look too much of a mess as you did be for.

You heard her knock again.

“Are you okay sweets?” it was Beths voice speaking now.

“yeah” you took a deep breath, opening the door, they both looked at you, taking in your disheveled form, looking at each other with a concerned look.

“Are you sure Liefde? You look like you’ve been crying’’ it was Viv that spoke this time, her hand reaching out to touch your face. You moved away frowning.

“I'm fine I was just watching some sad videos last night” you brushed both the girls off, giving the two women a half-asked excuse. You heard Beth laugh under her breath, putting her arm on your shoulder.

“Now why would you do that to yourself love” she laughed while patting your back, both girls seeming to believe your lie. “Now how are you feeling about pancakes?” the older women asked whilst dragging you and Viv to the kitchen. You stomach turned and you pulled your hand back shaking your head.

“I'm alright thanks, I think I'm just gonna have breakfast when we get there” you said whilst slowly making your way back into your room to get ready for training.

-

The car ride to training was fast and you quickly got your training gear out of the car before thanking the two older women and heading for the change rooms. Viv and Beth watch you walk away from them with worried looks on their faces.

“I'm worried about her” Beth turned her head towards Viv.

“I know, so am I” Viv spoke while putting a comforting hand on her girlfriends should, the two heading into the training facility.

-

When you got in the change room, only a few girls where in there, Steph, Manu and Katie. You quickly said hello before rushing towards the showers, not wanting to change in front of them.  You had been changing in the showers for the past few weeks, knowing that if you changed in front of everyone that they'd see how much weight you’ve lost in a short amount of time, and you’d be caught. You waited in the showers until you heard the girls leave for breakfast. You let out a shaky breath that you hadn't realized Youd been holding and sild out of the change rooms and making a bee line for the gym; wanting to get in some extra exercise before practice started. You knew everyone would be at breakfast, so you weren't fussed with anyone catching you. What you hadn't anticipated though, was for your skipper Leah to be in the gym as well. you would never admit it out loud, but Leah intimated you. She was a good captain, hardworking and stern, she always tells it how it is and wasn’t afraid to call someone out when they were acting out or not putting in the effort.

As soon as you entered, she turned to look at you, eyes scrunching in confusion. You mumbled a quick apology and went to leave when she spoke up.

“You alright y/n? why aren't you at breakfast?” she was walking towards you.

“I'm sorry I didn’t realize anyone one was in here, I just wanted to get some extra time in before training” you said rather quickly, eyes looking anywhere but at her.

“Why would you need to do that when we already have an hour gym session today?” her eyebrows still furrowed “you didn’t tell me why you aren't at breakfast” her tone was stern and unwavering as she kept her hard gaze on you.

“I ate breakfast at home” you told her “Viv made pancakes” she looked you up and down almost scanning your body before her gaze turned back to your face her eyebrow rising slightly as if telling you she didn’t really believe you. She looked away as you gulped. That was another thing about Leah, she always seemed to know when you were lying to her, and right now didn’t seem to be an exception.

“Right well trainings about to start anyway” she said while turning your body in the direction of the door “lets head out to the field” she pushed you forward, a silent way to tell you to lead the way. You rolled your eyes and shook your head, speeding up your movement so you didn’t have to walk with her.

As training progressed you could feel your body getting tired, you hadn't eaten anything this morning and thrown up your dinner from last night. You knew it was bad, but you couldn’t stop…it was an addicting feeling.

By the time lunch time had rolled around and training was finished for the day, you were absolutely exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in your bed and sleep. Your body was sore, and You hobbled slowly towards the changing room, your breathing was uneven, and your head was pounding.

You were the last to make it to the changing rooms, you could her Alessia and Katie making dinner plans for tonight and was asking people if they'd be able to make it. You mentally rolled your eyes as Beth excitedly said that you three would be attending.

“Hey, you alright mate?” you groaned at the question, having heard it one to many times that day for your liking. You turned to see Caitlyn behind you.

“Yes, I'm fine” you huffed out, slowly growing agitated.

“Are you sur- “you cut her off before she could finish.

“Yes, I'm fine! I’ve already said it about a thousand times” you huffed grabbing your stuff and storming out of the room, not even bothering to change, leaving behind shocked Caitlin and confused teammates.

“I’ll go talk to her” Beth muttered after a few minutes of awkward silence. She grabbed her training kit, as did Viv, and walked out of the room. They looked in countless empty rooms before heading to the car park where they found you waiting by the car scrolling on your phone once again, they had noticed you had been doing that a lot recently.

As soon as you heard the car door click, you jumped inside, not wanting to have the conversation you knew was about to take place. Both Beth and Viv entered soon after having a short conversation outside. No one said anything throughout the drive home, the two women sharing glances with each other every now and then while you opted to stay on your phone, scrolling through your Instagram comments.

When the three of you got home you headed straight for your room, closing the door behind you. Both the women sighed as they watched you. They had both noticed a change in you, they had noticed how you went straight to the bathroom after dinner, telling them you needed to “shower”, they had believed you at first until Beth had overheard you vomit in the bathroom 2 nights in a row. They had noticed that you weren't eating the snacks you love anymore or that you weren't eating breakfast in the mornings with them anymore, they had also noticed the mass amount of weight you had lost in such a little span of time. Of course, they had noticed it, practically the whole team had noticed it, with some voice their worries for you every now and then.

“She needs help” Beth stated as she stared at your bedroom door.

“Yeah…I know.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!! pls write some feedback if you have any :)