👑Dear 💖Diary👑

Yes me me me me so stupid so foolish so dirty I almost made this man sleep with me ,Well at least he didn't it almost slipped in almost and I hate almost . this man who have degraded me for his family ,who has tried to spoil my reputation I mean come on if someone does something wrong you can come to them and say you know you did this wrong or that wrong no he's not like that he waits until he sees everyone gathered in the yard he starts shouting and creating excitement and if you should do the same he is begging you to keep quite .I am just taking all of this shit until I get the chance to move on I felt like shit after he left my room I slammed my head into the wall and cried, I cried i cried and looked into myself how could I be so stupid to let this man kiss and touch my body he only shows love to me at night and when its day time im the laughing stock for his family and freinds in the yard as he looks for any and anything to create excitement about Like for example this morning i washed up some things for myself and I left two panties I didn't know because both of our clothes are in the pan .However he saw them and came in my room creating big excitement,"How yuh wash everything and lef dem ya two draws ya one orange n a black one",He was on top of his voice I was like,"tek time talk nuh !me never see them!"which I really and truly never did.I AM JUST SO ASHAMED then he want me to go outside and associate with his family and freinds beleive me from I've been here almost 4 months I've never went outside but would you?Im starting to dislike him .I mean yes im greatful for him having me stay here as I really don't have much of a choice but I can't stand his ways this minute he is good the next he triggers off.I don't know if he will collect any more money for me again being for the fact that he asked for the 1,000 n I didn't give him which I really and truly Can't because right now I'm even short 3,000 Well for the rest of the week I'm going to see if I can get the 3,000 .Right now I'm feeling really fucked up emotionally .I don't know why God don't kill me and yes my Facebook account got reported and I'm locked out I don't know whether rats good or bad news as some of those people on Facebook are full of shit.#Some not All....

September 27,2017 5:45 P.M

Well it’s been a few days now since I haven’t written been trying to get that 5,000 to start up my little business which indeed I finally got Sunday night and my ex collected for me yesterday he came back with 4,000 ;however, because of fare etc plus i asked him to buy cakesoap for me as my vagina is sensitive I cannot use scented soaps .WELL he seemed a bit upset from yesterday because he asked me for 1,000 to buy things to cook dinner I told him I can give him $300 he didn’t take it and has been acting up since.anyways ,in the evening he cooked curry chicken back and white rice . (Off his own finance).ITS not that I wouldn’t give him but i told him im working towards something and he is still pressuring me and I know he don’t want it plus which dinner takes 1,000 to buy the items kmft . I can’t wait to leave here it’s now I see that this man is trying to hold me down or something because he knows I have rent to pay and other things to do but when I ask him to buy things for me he buys foolishness in other words waste my money or come up with some stupid ways to try n make the little money I get go to waste but not this time no no no I am putting my foot down and getting the hell out his house asap .Well i checked over the things fully and it doesn’t seem the 5,000 will do possibly 8,000 I don’t know what am going to do I’m going to see if i can remove some things to make the 5,000 be able to buy what I need to start the business or maybe i will just use the rest of the week to see if I can get the next 3,000 extra but if this week ends and I don’t get it I will try and work with the 5,000 I’m just wondering how that gonna work hmmmm.I feel so uncomfortable and dirty where I am now he is so verbally abusive and he is purposely trying to spoil my reputation any little thing that goes wrong he shouts it out loudly and i know he is doing it purposely because he only shouts when he knows there is someone in the yard.I really want to leave.And I know he want me to leave too but just else why would he behave like this but I guess some people just aren’t straightforward .All for the fact because I donor wAnt to sleep with him Well Sunday night it almost happened….

Dear Diary September 22,2017 6:39 PM

September20,2017 11:16 AM

Dear Diary,

This stupid app made me have to write over my shit again .Well my ex is acting up I only have $1500 in my name I have yet to come up with the $5000 in addition to start to start up my business and i need to get the hell out my ex house like seriously ,now this man is just crazy as fuck i mean damn this minute he's with me the next minute hes totally off .I can't bother to write back all that I just written I can't bother to rewrite trust me but those are the headlines and yes i checked out a few sites for my business and I will be doing the trial between this evening and weekend . I'm so tired I haven't sleeped last night searching the net for sites .I think im gonna just get a peanut butter sandwich and head to bed as my ex keeps mumbling that he dont have any meat to put with the Johnun Cakes if he makes them. Which could be a lie as he is a professional liar who enjoys telling lies even in a unnecessary situation but I'm used to it and can work around him. Well this is it for now #food then sleep #daymare_ don't care(daymare meaning a bad dream in the day time. When i wake up I do the throw back Thursday special and possibly explain my ex shitty ass mood swings and crazy personality which has a tip of kindness which is quite mysterious and questioning and no im not ungrateful im just talking shit how it is.Somebody kill me please i want to fucking die . MentAlly

Emotionally Phsyically and Spiritually worn out

From This Coming Thursday I will be telling you guys tragical sTory that happened to me in the past so get get ready guys .♀Throwback a Tragic Thursday's ♀👡

May 9,2017 4:58 PM

Dear Diary,

I just collected the things I asked my ex to buy.He forget the mask in the bus though I'm not sure if we will retrieve it but he notified his nephew that is normally near the bus stop .He bought two pair of sock a bottle of alchol a pack of face mask ,the DPH and $500 worth credit with 3,700 I has remaining I thought it was 4,200 but i realised i used some of the money last night to buy somthing to eat .I took my medication rubbed up myself and is now in bed the time is hot i want to turn off the fan but cant I don't know what am gonna do 🤔🤔🤔.Anyways,Today I met a guy on Facebook he seems so genuine and positive advicing me to continue blogging and keep my head up I was quite impressed I asked him for some credit he said he would give me but he wanted my number anyway my megabytes was getting really low and I had lie 20 mB remaining he kept calling over N over so i told him to text as my megabytes was almost finish n I fear that I may not be able to use my data because of it.I started to feel very uncomfortable when he started asking me for photos of my self normal ones at first in but cropped out my location and setting as i start to get suspicious of him as he was pressuring me alo t about sending photo and the way he reasoned would seem as if he though I had some disease and was hiding away so i cropped out my face because as we know people cannot be trusted because the most visicious snakes move the most tamely.after i sent him the body photo he asked me for Pussy picture i was very surprised I was like wow for once i thought I had found someone different from all the other men on my Facebook Messenger that is All about getting in my panties and now this ???I don't know if he was trying to befriend me to see my face or something but i know something wasn't right anyways I blocked him off my Facebook and he blocked me too My ex bfs penis has not gotten better it has gotten more injuries as it was chaved on his clothes while on his journey to buy my cough/cold meds ....Wish me a speedy recovery guys as I am currently taking my meds gonna catch a nap now ttyl

Below shows my DPH socks and alcohol which I am now using to recover from my cold

August 9,2017 11.25 A.M

Dear Diary,

I'm feeling so tired and worn out .I didn't sleep well at all last night too much on my mind plus the cold made me stuffy and very uncomfortable .I was hot without the fan on me and when I put the fan on me I became stuffy 😩.Im so drained I just want to die .A lot of thick mucus have been coming out my body because of the cold so I'm guessing that's a good thing.My ex_boyfreind have decided he's going in the town to buy my cold medicine face mask egg for me out of the 4,200 I have.I don't know what I'm gonna do to say because I don't feel well possibly sleep and lay in bed all day .I am to be blamed for this because I have not been taking care of my body for a few years now 😞i need to step up u need to start taking care of myself but when?it seems like I have chosen technology, wealth and materialistic things over myself which has only caused more damage than ever fuck i need to step up !!! Well last night I met a guy boy was he straightforward posting me to my Facebook Messenger a video of his tongue showing me what he can do boy I was quite amazed then turned off after he kept sending voicenote that made no sense at one time I was wondering if he was a man of unsoundmind. BELOW SHOWS THE FOOTAGE OF THE FACEBOOK FREAK (permission granted to post by him)

#diary #jamaicanfreak #blogger #entertainnent #lifestory #jamaicangirl

I won't put this one as a chapter I am just concerned about my well being week before last something unusual happened to me that i cannot explain .I woke up and was greeted with my ex boyfriend who i am now living with shouting at me stating that I got up crying out Rape!! Rape!! Rape!!and he wasnt even close to me and i cannot give account of that the only thing I remember is him shouting at me saying I'm telling lies on him and creating excitement on him.Then all of a sudden while he was arguing with me I felt something I don't don't know what it was so I will label it as a "ENERGY" THE ENERGY was trying to take over my body but i was fighting it it was trying to speak through me I could literally feel Madness the energy was madness I really don't know how to explain but it just seemed like what ever entered me was trying make me turn into a mad person I don't know maybe I'm delusional my exboyfren realised I was acting weird but didn't take it serious I was trying to fight the energy I asked him to find a bible n read a scripture from it I don't know but that was just the first thing that came to mind he unfortunately didn't find the bible while I was there fighting the energy then suddenly I heard a voice in my head say "stop what you are doing "and give ur life to the lord"i.dont know if it's a delusional I don't know if all of this is caused because i hadn't slept 3 days straight properly plus I am.stressed out but all i know that night was a night and two nights ago I tried reading the book of Macabeees I reached at chapter 2 I just wanted to read it because I've heard it will drive u insane so I wanted to prove if it's a rumour myself all I know is that night was the most tormented night of my life when i closed my eyes i started to see weird creepy images I was very hot and torment and most night where I am the place is cool once the fan is on I haven't read back the book of Macabeees since then....Delusional or Spiritual ???only a Deity can tell P.S_if u have had any similar experience or no anything about any please contact me I am still curious and in shock...

💱💲ATM VAGINA💱💲

I didn't cry my body was numb?was it because i was shocked?I damn well didn't feel scared at the moment but I was shocked and numb it was after everything in the evening my face started to show signs that I was beaten n my emotions started to kick in I cried I prayed I binded him I rebuked him in the name of Jesus I didn't leave my room for the whole day I now started to feel scared I had 120k left based on what happened awhile ago I did not feel safe so i wrapped my 120k in a plastic bag and shoved it in my vagina incase he attacked me again and saw the money and took it away because if he did I would not have any defence I knew no-one in the community and who would actually believe that a small girl like me really had n got 120k stolen from her better to be safe than sorry .I slept with the money inside my vagina for two night the first night I called the man that introduced me to him and explained what he did he showed no sign like he cares or wanted to be involved in the incident so I never said it back to him or called him again.I tried getting someone to come for me and move out my things but all who I knew seemed scared to come up that community.But then again if i moved where would I go? Alot of you might ask why I put the money in my vagina I thought about what if he attacked me if I hid it in my hair he could pull my hair while fighting me and find it if i put it in my bra he can fight me and the bra tear and all the money is popped out but he sure cannot grab my Pussyhole .I rather die with it in there because it is it that gave me it

PART 9 🐒Crazy LandLord🐒👹Paranoid Tenant👺

As i was on the roadside all I could think about is what’s next .Suddenly I remembered a famous guy from Montego Bay who i contacted several weeks ago to see if he could find somewhere for me to rent at a low cost of 5-7k as i was not in a stable job and did not want to bite off more than I can chew.He said he knew a guy tht lived in Bogue Hill St.James that is renting somewhere I immediately took the man’s number I have done planned it that if anything I would deduct the rent money from the 200k that i already saved for my store and so was it.I called the man and he said the room was available I told him I needed it immediately and I immediately took a bus from Ocho Rios To Montego bay at that point in my life the status my life was in I didn’t care how the place look I just needed shelter plus who gives a fuck how it looks Im not going there to live I just need somewhere to stay until my mission is completed West side of course as Kingston is not if my liking.Anyways I went there he said the rent is 5,000 I agreed no deposit nothing just 5,000 flat the house was ok on a hill of course bad internet connection but he gave me Wi-Fi the people in the community seemed cruel n mischevious so i hardly went outside like i ever did anyways, but I never forget the first question he asked me was if i wanted to live with him instead of renting the room I said No .I then rented the room and bought a bed, dresser paint n other stuff to get the room looking tidy as a lady’s room should be (out of the 200k ) the same evenin I rented the room)while talking to him after the dresser n bed was ordered I sensed signs that he was arrogant mischevious moody and possibly apart of illegal activities as he was always harboring waste looking men taking drugs plays explicit music at his yard and would address me as “Mumma"instead of my right name I was surprised as this man could be my father and is acting like a loose waste boy.However I bypassed that and decided to live around all that because all was on my mind was making sacrifices for a better tmmrw .Anyways we waited the whole day and the furniture finally came in the evening the furniture man was moving as if he didn’t want to bring the furniture and as soon as he found out where i was staying the furniture were brought in much quicker it was then i realised it seem as if he is a bad man or perhaps a madman .Anyways,the furniture came n yes I bought a fan too luckily I got two fans in the box instead of one he helped to bring in the furnitures as well as the fan and also to fix up the fans I realised he brought in everything else in his room except one of my fan so I said to him why is my fan still in ur room and u already have a fan and one that is mugh bigger than mine he didn’t reply I just went in his room and take out my fan and he came back in my room and took it out back.I ignored him and said to myself I donot think me and this man is going get along for very long cuz he seems very domineering which does not work well for a person like me and I should not be domineered as I am not his friend I am his tenant however he seemed as if he wanted more than that but I am definately not interested.His personality is a total turnoff. I just planned to myself that im gonna hustle back the 80,000 I withdrew from the 200k I made to start my business and leave asap.So with that saying I did not make any contact with him I keep to myself and stay in my room he realised i was not into him so he disconnected his Wi-Fi with which he shared with me he realised I wasn’t even bothered I took a weeks rest then I left there to hustle some money I spent 6 days away n came back .When I came back i realised he made bed with his couch pads at my door way knocking down my door asking me where i went .I told him it’s none of his business as I am his tenant .He started get angry saying he will give me back my rent money I did not reply to him n he walked away.Several days after I got a call from the guy that introduced me to him and I told him what happened he didn’t seem to take it serious and to me he thought me and the guys was in sexual relationship to how I described what happened.But i could never see myself sleeping with him furthermore I Do not mix business with pleasure.Anyways.the guy tht introduced me to place was offering me a job as a journalist he said his boss needed a talk show host for love sex and relationship talk show on Facebook .I liked the idea and decided I will work on it .I did not have a Facebook account with much freinds on it at the time as i closed down my original account because I am not physically ready for that type of exposure which that account can offer(Will talk about that a different time)so i created multiple fake accounts of both genders in promotion for the sex n relationship facebook page. I also had a page with my photos on it but it was not popular I normally get quite a few request on it .What i did not know was that my landlord was on Facebook searching for a profile of me he searched n found me I added him not knowing that it was my landlord I was looking promoters and admins for the love sex and relationship page at the time so i message everyone i added trying to recruit admins so they can invite people to like the page .I added him as a admin not knowing it was him .Suddenly i got a message on face book messenger stating ,“delete me off that page deh” I read the Facebook message but did not pay it any mind .It was then wen I received a message via WhatsApp saying “my girl yuh nuh hear me say to delete me off page "I replied saying "wtf"and went back on Facebook and open the profile I got the message from it was then i realised it was my landlord he had only two photos of himself up so i messaged him on WhatsApp and asked what is he doing on my Facebook and he started disrespecting me I don’t quite remember the things he said but he was not talking to me like I was his tenant he was talking like I was his Bitch .I was very embarrassed I didn’t want him on that profile as there was where I got my freak on n I had a video up with me sucking on a dildo anyways he was still arguing saying I should remove him from the page .I had it in mind but made up my mind I’m not gonna remove it until early the next morning and so i did around 7am I deleted him off the page and blocked him from my Facebook.By around 12 pm it was him knocking off my door I went to him he said,"my girl me nuh tell u fe delete me off the page” pushing me away from the door jam and pushing himself into my room I replied,“Look how long me delete yuh” he hit me in my face so I hit him back he then pushed me to the floor and started hitting me in my face multiple times then went out the room.

PART 8 🌴Back in Ocho Rios🌴 Peter Peter d Pum Pum Eater😥😥😥😥 Back in Ocho Rios...All Clothes Washed n Clean✔Pussy Smelling Fresh Again✔Didn't use All the insert Tabs tho saved some in case an infection comes again 😆😆lol Well I just moved back to the guy in Ochi rios" AGAIN" he came home in the night n we reasoned for a while about his old lovers we went inside, hasty sexual harassment as usual I just shifted my panty n gave him my pussy to suck no fingering nothing just lone Pussy eating I didn't even make him cum I just fucked his face, literally fucked his face pushing his head deep and hard in my Pussy n made him suck on my clit I came about three times, till I went to bed I wanted to fuck him so bad he ate my Pussy to my enjoyment n I wanted his Cock but I had made up my mind before I came back that I ain't giving him no Pussy on the first night which indeed I did not live to regret.He asked me to suck his Cock but i refused .I don't know it's like my body likes him but my mind keeps saying don't give it up too easy girl he seems like a player .What convinced me more was wen he told me he has a baby mom I asked him if they were over He said yes.I said ok since the both of you are over introduce me to her n let her no I'm your new girlfriend he refused.Which raised my eyebrows.Anyways,BACK to the topic so he came home in the evening and said he's going to bring me to buy groceries for myself he gave me $3000 JMD .I won't lie to you he is very kind money is not a problem.No wonder his kids are such a pest because they know he is weak/softhearted.(or atleast so i think)Anyways, before we left out he said to his daughter do u want to come with us we are going shopping or do u want us to bring back something for you She said NO .So we went and bought the groceries and went back home as we came back and started opening up the items she came asking what and what we bought I didn't say anything he too got upset with her n hid the bag with groceries .The following morning I was eating a snicker bar from the groceries he bought for me (personally).And she kept snooping around n tryin to find out what and what is in the bag I told her to stop snooping around because I'm not going to give her anything from the bag because last night we asked if she wanted to go shopping with us and she said No .He heard what I said to her while getting ready for work and immediately came in the room shouting"How u so bloodclaat mean n selfish u can give d girl supm out d bag fucking mean n selfish like".I was very shocked I was like wow seriously?wasn't this the man that agreed with me last night that she should have come with us and buy her stuff .I was very upset I packed my things and left immediately after he left .Where am I going to go?I have no clue N yes guys don't forget I have my house that I rented in the country but refuse to go there as yet as I'm not looking as the standard I wanted or have achieved what I want so you also know there is outstanding rent to be paid there but I never mind that because I always come with some stragedy to pay n my landlord from the country is not impatient R.I.P my landlord he died in June i think n his son's sons and daughters are the ones collecting now but they don't seem impatient either.Anyways I packed my things n left standing oout on the roadside nowhere to go wondering what to do next.....

💦WELCOME TO WESTMORELAND💦

Finally in Westmoreland I reached in the evening hours .Hasty sexual encounter again This man can't wait to get in my panties .I didn't give him any sex though just let him suck on my nipples. while he rubbed his dick between my legs till he came I wanted to suck his dick so bad but couldn't as his dick had a raw odor .And I love a fresh smelling dick in my mouth.Boy I wanted to fuck him so bad I was so horny the way he sucked my breast was a complete turn on .Like I could anyway as I still had the infection but had bought some insert tablet to take while I was stayin there .Also bought some toning creams my plans have changed I decided well since I'm In Westmoreland and its not a fast place let !e just chill tone my skin and then think about my next move on how to get my second batch of good which is another 200k plus I didn't want to go home as I didn't look the way I wanted to look for the fact that people seen me by my rent house in the country for awhile I wanted to go back looking fresh .plus I needed a Second batch of good as the 200k could only buy some of the hair but for the beauty and the store also needed repair etc so I had to try and get !money for that also. Anyways the next morning I washed out everything I brought there's because from a couple week earlier I realised a weird smell like a dead rat has started to come from my perspiration why and how? is a question I would pay any money to Gert the answer for But I have a clue that it might be the infection which is long well overdue and needed to be taken care of.Anyways I went outside and washed my clothes it was like 5 different houses in the yard.Mother Brothers Sisters Cousins who is not washing is gettimg ready for school who ain't getting ready for school is gathered in a group gossiping.I was terrified your talking about the right setting to kick off my paranoia to level 100 and yes I have a case where I am scared and get nervous when I see too much people I like to be alone I fear people because I know what they are capable of the capabilities to make your life a living hell just for the fun of it so most times I stay far from them and now I have to face this!!! Im 100%,sure I would be a woman of unsound mind by end of the week damn!no privacy another thing which I crave alot privacy and there was none in that yard the bathroom was in the middle of the yard if u per ten time they know and trust me they know because there's always someone outside being nosy .Even the clothes I washed I suspected where inspected by his mother who also lives in the yard.Man I had to get the hell out of that place .So I called back the guy in Ocho Rios and by early in the morning the next day I was off....

🌴Welcome To Ocho Rios🌴

So I went to Ocho Rios didn't really bring much clothes about 3 pair of clothes a rag n slippers because I wasn't sure what I'm getting myself into.He seemed ok over the phone but that can sometimes be deceiving.Hmmmm when wen I reached we talked a little then he kept asking me over and over again to eat my Pussy I was like no no no why so hasty damn I'm spending a couple months not a fucking day .Anyway he continuously kept asking to eat my Pussy which I ignored him as i did not want to do anything sexual so fast which I never lived to regret .Anyways the next night he was there talking in parables saying he cant have a girl at his house caring for her and she is not making "him happy"(as in sexual favours ) So i just thought to myself maybe this man is a user n he does not really want anyone to stay around but just want to use them for a day or two and tell them to leave being honest I was confused at times he seemed like a honest nice genuine guy and another time he seemed Like total user(judged by his speeches) but I rather stay on the safe side, so I texted on of my Friend that lives in Westmoreland and asked him if I could stay with him my wish was his command...