Purpose Seeker

Professor: “Why was Elvis considered problematic?” Class: *long awkward silence* Me: “He became famous off of black music.”

Professor: “What state is Selma in?” Class: *long awkward silence* Me: “Alabama.”

Professor: “What state did the Montgomery Bus Boycotts take place in?” Class: *long awkward silence* Me: “Alabama.”

Professor: “What was one of the goals of the Civil Rights Movement?” White Girl: “Uhhhhh…the blacks wanting…respect??” Me:

Issa Rae: Why ‘Insecure’ Is Not Made ‘for Dudes’ or ‘White People’ by Brittany Spanos

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Many male viewers have found an interesting kinship with the character of Lawrence, played with immense vulnerability and nuance by Jay Ellis. The fictional Issa cheated on Lawrence during the first season, leading to a messy break-up and a ploy to win him back during Season Two. While Lawrence begins as a sympathetic character and loving boyfriend, his actions towards Tasha, his rebound fling, have shown the cracks in his seeming perfection.

“The fact that dudes have latched onto this character is such a compliment, because we’re mostly women writing these male characters,” Rae says, noting that he is partially based off a real person in her life. “But the fact that men really see themselves in him and are excusing a lot of his behavior is a testament to just how a lot of men are, currently.”

The real Issa is frequently conflated with her same-named character, and she often fields hate in her Twitter mentions from fans upset with the fictional Issa’s actions. “I didn’t think it through,” she says of the name choice. “You don’t imagine that people are gonna get so invested in the characters. I didn’t think about the audience in creating this show.”

Still, Rae has long known who the show was not made for, and is determined to maintain her intentions. “In creating and writing the show, this is not for dudes. It’s not for white people. It’s the show that I imagined for my family and friends. That’s what I think of when I’m writing the scenes.”

Happy Birthday to Foxy Brown (who is the inspiration behind why I created this blog): 9/6/2017

Thank you Inga for being a significant inspiration in my own womanhood. I am grateful for your presence in the entertainment industry because I’ve never related to any other ‘famous’ person as much as I do with you. If you did not exist, I’m certain I wouldn’t be attached to any celebrity and my personal style wouldn’t be the same. Aside from your music, your entire personality is intriguing. Thank you for breaking barriers and still never folding despite you not receiving barely any credit and almost always being bashed by everyone. 

The irony is I’ve seen so many new female rappers take things that you did decades ago and will rarely credit you, but will easily name the other lady you came in the game with. You’re a beautiful Black sheep. A Black Rose. Thank you for putting a voice to me feeling misunderstood during Broken Silence era, discovering the power in silence and helping me embrace my eye shape & wide smile and finding beauty in myself as a teen.

Thank you for showing the world just how gorgeous dark skinned Black women are along with Lauryn Hill and one can reign the charts at #1. You were the 1st female rapper to do that despite no one wanting to credit you for that. You had Hugh Heffner repeatedly begging you to do Playboy, which you turned down. Biggie and Jay both wanted you on their team. Pac didn’t diss you either. You made your male counterparts look good. You made them sound good. You made them complete. From Jay to Nas: “Foxy got you hot ‘cause you kept your face in her puss/ Hope you don’t think you gettin’ girls now because ya looks, negro please!” (”Ether”, 2001)

JFK’s son admitted he was a stan of yours, so did the GOAT, Michael Jackson. Michael called you up telling you how gorgeous you are.  John Galliano called you an “ICON” by the time you released your sophomore album Chyna Doll at age 19.  That’s how much influence you had on people. Your legacy. You were one of the first rappers to cross over to fashion by doing a Calvin Klein campaign which landed you as the biggest billboard in Times Square in early 1999. You were the second female rapper on Essence Magazine (1st distinction: Queen Latifah) and the 1st in a 6 page fashion spread (W Magazine) along side Kate Moss. 

Thank you for being private and mysterious, although that is one of the many reasons people never understand why you do what you do and they may be inclined to believe rumors so easily and run with it. It’s always one side of the story told and it’s never yours. Despite Remy Ma dissing you nowadays, I do recall one of her earliest interviews saying you were her biggest inspiration to rap because you were dark skinned, beautiful and had attitude.

Thank you for destroying countless men on their own songs. I would skip straight to your parts. Like Janet Jackson, you made it a privilege for you to pop up at an Awards show/event and I always got hype, just because I knew you weren’t the type.

I always said to myself when I was younger that the world won’t really shower you with love again until you’re gone and that may be right. Then everyone is gonna claim how much of a fan they were of you and I will just sit back quietly. But I’ve been loyally a fan since I was a child when grown ups would tell me I looked like you. I always saw it as a compliment. I still hope one day they make a biopic about your controversial life and it’s done right. I hope they take their time and give it justice because you’ve really been through some shit and no one talks about it. A couple near death experiences. You shouldn’t be here with us. You flowed on a fucking song while being 100% deaf and rode the cadence of the beat by touch to demonstrate the beat, “[People had to] tap on her shoulder to keep the beat and record for Biggie’s album and I heard…her flow was bananas,” Doug E. Fresh stated.  Not many can do that.

“White women elected Trump. Black, brown, trans and queer women have been doing this for far longer and at far greater peril.” Any kind of real solidarity from allies has got to start with acknowledging these truths.

1. It’s OK to admit motherhood isn’t fun, that you’re exhausted and that you resent your husband because he gets to go out into the world while you wipe noses and butts for a living.

2. Not breastfeeding will not kill your baby, regardless of whether your friends make you feel otherwise.

3. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and unless your child has a serious illness, it’s all small stuff.

4. Take the time to shower. Every single day.

5. Remember: They will always stop crying… eventually.

6. You don’t need a Diaper Genie or a wipe warmer.

7. Sometimes you’ll feel like throwing them out of a window. And that’s ok… as long as you don’t actually do it.

8. Don’t compare yourself to others. All you can be is the best mother you can be.

9. Put the baby in his or her “nice clothes.” Who cares if they get dirty? Save your favorite outfits and your baby may grow too quickly to ever wear them.

10. Don’t judge other parents. They have no idea what they are doing either.

11. Take videos of your kids. Pictures are great, too, but video captures the moment in a way photos can’t.

12. Get out of the house while they’re in the infant seat. That’s the easiest it’s ever going to be.

13. Don’t take things too seriously. You won’t completely screw up your kids if they miss a vegetable, a bath, fall asleep in their clothes or get away with things once in a while.

14. Nobody else knows what’s best for your baby. 

15. Let them get messy. That’s what baths are for.

16. Take time to refuel… It’s not selfish to take care of yourself.

17. Pick your battles. Sometimes it’s not worth the fight.

18. Parenthood is defined by extremes: Extreme happiness, extreme frustration, extreme love, extreme guilt… Learn to let go, breathe, and try to find the happy in each day.

19. The parents who look like they have it all together are almost always a bigger mess than you.