— faith (1x12)
sam refusing to let dean go, even when dean tells him it’s over… that kind of devotion is beautiful

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@deancestlog
— faith (1x12)
sam refusing to let dean go, even when dean tells him it’s over… that kind of devotion is beautiful

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he makes it way too easy to have very filthy and very specific thoughts you’re not supposed to have, and it feels natural when it’s him
that’s what fucks me up
dean lets sam fuck him like he’s trying to punish both of them for wanting it. he keeps his eyes closed the whole time, as if not looking at sam will make it feel less wrong
it doesn’t work
the ghost forced people to say what they really feel
and what sam really feels is that dean is pathetic for how much he needs dad’s approval
not just like loyal and obedient but desperate
he IS that desperate for john’s approval
dean has spent his whole life being the good soldier the one who never questions, the one who takes care of everyone and sam sees it for what it is
a boy who never allowed to have his own mind and dean doesn’t even deny it
he just look hurts because that’s true
dean wears john’s jacket like a wedding ring he never took off

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