DeadMansIsland

1. She was talking about her children and/or introducing us to her children/the people with her. Who she did not mention.

2. She didn’t follow up that phrase with “But he might be a bit old for your 16 year old daughter haha!” which she did

This woman who I had never met before took one look at me and immediately tried to set me up with a 22 year old man. What made this even worse was that when we left the woman and I expressed my discomfort to my mom, she blew me off. She said I was being “over-sensitive”. 

I’m allowed to feel uncomfortable when people say things like that to me. I’m allowed to be a little bit disgusted when people meet me for the first time and don’t think “what are her interests, where does she want to go to school, etc. etc.” but rather “dating, boys, relationships, sex” ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE IMPLYING YOU WANT ME, A 16 YEAR OLD, TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A 22 YEAR OLD WHO IS 6 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. 

She’s a sales account manager at a really big tech company and the end of their fiscal year (when all their sales need to be closed so they can make their quota) is coming up. So naturally everyones a little on edge. But anyway, I had just finished for the day and went to her office where she was working with her co-worker on a presentation. She introduced me and he suggested that I should attend their meeting with their customer tomorrow as part of my job shadow. And she was like”haha yeah that’d be great except we’re definitely going to be yelled at tomorrow” And so of course I was like “whoa wtf I don’t wanna see you get yelled at” at which point she responds “don’t worry honey. Just remember I’m already dead inside”

- HUGE argument between two teams that resulted in one of them being suspended from the game 

- The suspended team smashes a windshield of the other team in protest but no one can prove it so they didn’t get in trouble

- Someones dog was stolen from their house in exchange for a kill (and was publicly shamed and threatened on Twitter)

- Someone hid in a dog crate to shoot someone AND got it on video

- Someone hid in the bushes of a family whose son recently passed away to get a kill and then was publicly shamed on Twitter

- The security guard at our school hates the game so much that he gives tickets if he sees a nerf gun in your car

- Someone put a tracker on a kids car and was told to take it down. When people complained the moderator had to remind people that tracking people is illegal. They complained again.

- People full out sprinting through Target to shoot each other which got the game banned from Target

Watching people fight and whine about the game over Twitter is one of the most entertaining parts of the game, but the best part has to be the team names. Some of the favorites this year:

- Guns and Rosés

- Menace to Sobriety

-ANALthing is Possible

- Thot Patrol

- Projectile Dysfunction

- The Tits

You’ve got your bold and brash names which you know. Cool but boring

- Irish War Cry

-Battle of Midway

- War Admiral

You’ve got your simple yet elegant. A little more fun but still a bit dull

- Always Dreaming

- Unbridled

- Bold Venture

Your snappy one liners

- Patch (cus he’s only got one eye, get it?)

- I’ll Have Another

- Nosupeforyou

- Go for Gin

Weirdly edgy names to give a horse

- Dark Star

- Iron Liege 

- Thunder Gulch

- Exterminator

And finally, the names where you wonder “Who looked at this horse and decided this was a good idea?”

- Orb

- Burgoo King

- Citation

- Joe Cotton 

- Carry Back, the son of Saggy and Joppy

- Real Quiet

- Hindoo. Yep.

Some things Carl has done include:

- Leaving a drawing of a smily face with the eyes crossed out on the floor of our unfinished basement when we first moved in

- Whispering “Oh my god” in a very high exasperated girlish voice after me and my brothers had been arguing about who has to go down into the scary basement to put something away

- Started singing along to “One Last Time” from Hamilton while I was playing it when I was home alone in the high girlish voice during a part in which only a male singer is singing

- Rang a bike bell for over an hour while I was home alone. We don’t own a bike bell and our neighbors don’t have children. Also the houses on our street are pretty spread out and it was coming from right outside our back door which is clear and has a bunch of windows around it. It was also raining so no one was outside. 

- Turns off my lights over and over. And not just turns them off. They’ll be burnt out so I can’t turn them on again.