“You didn’t have to kill them!”

“Your car is dented, who did you hit?!”

“I could always just kill them…”

“Why are your knuckles bruised?”

“Just go! I’ll clean up this mess.“ 

“You busted my lip!”

“You clean up, I’ll hide the body.”

“They deserved it.”

“Dont you dare hit me!“ 

“I liked killing them.”

“Oh God, there’s so much blood!“ 

“Don’t be a baby, I only kicked you in the balls.”

“Kill them! Go on!“ 

“Who gave you that black eye?!”

“They died happy at least." 

"Do you want me to hit you?!" 

"Get rid of them and I promise I’ll never bother you again." 

"I’ll kill you, I swear!" 

"They were trying to kill me! I had to defend myself!”

“I’ll kill every last one of them." 

"Ow! I think you’ve broken my arm!”

“I’ll fight beside you." 

"Are you burning a body?”

“I was protecting you!”

“Don’t be alarmed, but I may have just run a guy over.”

“Have you ever killed anyone before? Be truthful.”

“It was an accident!”

“Well, you should’ve thought about that before you hit them with your car!”

“Burn the body and lets go.”

“I’m glad they’re dead!”

“They’re not going to make it.”

“Don’t you dare die on me!”

“I had to do it.”

“I killed them so we can be together, don’t you see that?”

“I may or may not have a dead person in my basement.”

I Didnt Really Choose When I Would Be Greeted Or That I Would At All So It Seems Only Fair That I Dont Get To Pick An Optimal One

My Name Is Kanaya Maryam And Yours Is

Send an ask with Record: whatever you want me to say

“Vampire?“ That was definitely new. Through his mess of cables and appliances he could see just her head. She didn’t look like a vampire. At least none of the ones he had met before. His demon must be mistaken there was no way this girl was a vampire. She looked like a lost kid. Which was a very hypocritical deduction on his part.

“Nothin much. I was checking my email and writing on a blog. Of course it’s probably safe.“ Her next question had him breaking into a small grin and glancing towards the few demons in his service. Two of them looked ready to tussle, or what a lesser demon that barely came up to his waist could pull off as looking ready for anything.

“That brings me to another concern- Even if you intend to send me on my way, would it be okay for me to at least stay the night here?” She makes a face when she says it. Porrim had told her stories, not enough to know really how the two interacted, but enough to know Kurloz was at the very least a good person. Thoough questionable in his methods sometimes. 

She waved a hand, dismissing a thought. “Look,” she says carefully, “I’ve been dealing with rather unsavory characters lately.” Literally. Bums are not very appetizing.

She also esperatly hoped that the demon pulling cables off itself wasn’t doing so to be able to engage. She’d had to leave her chainsaw behind, and she sorely missed it. She’d managed to pick up a knife or two in her travel, but she doubted her ability to fight right now- esppecially being weakned by not truly being invited into the home.  “I mean you absolutely no harm, and should you allow me to stay, I an assist you in any endeavors a vampire can assist with- I esecially excel in gardening and sewing. Including sewing of the medical variety.”

Power, that’s what he had come to the Demon House for. However, he had no idea how to access any of the energy stored in it, nor could he find out where the damned plug outlets where. So his maze of power cables led back to a single generator, which was then attached via gator cables to the small, pissed off looking demon.

Somehow this madness was working and his laptop was charged. So when the door bell rang (he didn’t even know the house had a door bell), the sudden ring made him jump, falling out of his chair and ripping multiple precariously laid cords from their jury-rigged outlets.

One of three demons hopped up and moved to the door, it was a seeker, a demon that found it’s key ability on being able to define other demons and mythos. The door to the demon house slid open as it approached and a tiny warble of a screech emitted from it. For those not proficient in ohfuckimgoing to die speech, the common language choice of lesser demons, it attempted to shout “Vampire!” before scurrying back to Gamzee and attempting to help him out of the mess of cords.

Whatever that thing had been, it had said something. So it was sentient, and the door had opened. She could take that as an invitation. Still, that clearly wasn’t Kurloz- or she hope so at least. So she politely only stepped into the entryway, and then froze completely. She’d been thinking, not actually paying attention, and she was not expecting to see....