dazai’s crimes

his large hands are firm against the backs of your thighs, holding you spread open for him as he plunges his tongue in and out of your spasming hole. he’s cruel with his actions, ignoring the way you struggle and writhe from overstimulation. you’ve already cum 3 times, but that’s far from enough for him. everything he does, he does with exuberance. he has to give it his all everytime, he doesn’t do anything casually.

“itto! please! i can’t take it,” you whine, pushing at the top of his head.

you’re so small compared to him, so weak. it’s cute that you think your puny human strength has anything against a man with oni blood coursing through his veins. your hands wrap around his horns as he looks up at you, scarlett eyes scanning your fucked out face.

he hasn’t even given you what you want most: his cock. he’s painfully hard in his pants, hips rutting into the bed just to seek out some friction. you’re so beautiful, so perfect. he can’t help but to get off on your pitiful cries and the desperate rolls of your hips against his shockingly long tongue.

itto speaks from between your thighs, a gruff grumble of “cum for me again and i’ll fuck your pretty cunt. you can do it.”

you whimper, your eyes rolling back as he flicks his tongue over your sensitive bundle of nerves. your hands curl tighter around his horns, making him growl into your pussy. the vibrations make you see stars, your thighs straining against his grasp as your release hits you like a ton of bricks.

“ah shit! itto~!” you squeal, legs quivering and heart racing as he tongue-fucks you through your high.

he smiles against you, hungrily lapping up your juices as you keen above him. he’s uncharacteristically gentle when he lets your legs go, settling them softly against the futon below. wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, he moves up to loom over you.

“think you can handle me?” he asks teasingly, tugging his pants down to free his impressive length. it smacks up against his belly, precum already making a mess of his toned abs.

nodding, you wrap your hand around him. your fingers don’t even come close to touching, he’s just that big. itto thrusts into your touch, shivering at the way your soft palm glides so smoothly over him. “i want you to fuck me, make me your cocksleeve,” you purr, a shy smile painted across your face.

“you don’t even have to ask.” he moves away from your touch, fitting himself between your open thighs.

itto grunts as he pushes inside of you, your walls struggling to accommodate him. he places a hand on your belly for leverage, slamming into you with no regard for your comfort. he laughs at the way you jolt and immediately claw at his skin.

his pace is brutal, barely allowing you to breathe as he rams his hips into you. the stretch burns, leaving you seeing stars as he ruins your sweet cunny for any other man. he wastes no time before the fat head of his cock is seeking out your g-spot and drilling into it.

itto isn’t surprised when you cum in mere minutes, he’s more surprised that you lasted so long. it’s a new record for him, sluts like you always cum in seconds once he’s bullied his thick cock into them. he looks down, biting his lip at the creamy ring of white building up around his base. he’s already tasted your pussy, but he can’t stop himself from salivating like an animal at the thought.

your voice cracks as you beg him for more, your little hands clinging tightly to his wrists as you try to keep yourself centered. he’s more than happy to oblige, angling his hips to somehow fill you more completely than before. he kisses at the entrance to your cervix, making your vision go spotty from the erotic pain.

your words become a slurred mess; a mix of pleads for him to let you cum again and nasty curses that he'd never expect to hear from someone like you. your praises of how good it feels does nothing but boost his already large ego. he could get off on your words alone, but your slick walls are doing more than enough to make him hit his own release.

he cums with a growl, fucking his hot spunk deeper into you as you unravel around him yet again. he sees a glimmer of relief in your eyes as he slows to a stop, but it quickly fades as he man handles your legs over his shoulders this time.

“w-what? more?” you squeak, already moaning as he starts back up.

he grins. “of course. what, did you think i’d only cum once after making you feel so good? i need my pleasure too, pet.”

You suck your teeth as the line on the other end of the call beeps, indicating no answer again. He doesn’t even have a voicemail message, just “Gojo.” You leave your message, laugh in your voice, mostly incredulous.

“This whole acting coy doesn’t suit you. Why’d I give you my number, huh?” and you press the red button on your screen to end your message and the call.

You’d exchange numbers with the man at a bar, one that wouldn’t keep eyes his off you the whole time, and seeing them up close; you’d understand why the ogling felt more intense than that of the usual men that bothered you. He’d look for a smile that would give him the cue that he could speak to you. The lilt in his voice kept you giggling. He tells you he was there with a friend; he’s turning 29 in a few days and celebrating early. If he were honest, Satoru was smitten within 10 minutes of speaking with you, he knew a natural connection when he felt it, despite his womanizing ways.

You go home with him, but don’t get past heavy petting, much to both your dismay. You tell him you have work in the morning, that you should get home, pressing a sheepish grin against his lips as he leaned up off the couch to follow your mouth. You tell him to call you and he hums his agreement, face splitting into a smile. He closes the door after watching you walk away towards the elevators of the high-rise apartment, not missing the way you look back and smile at him as a final goodbye. A deep breath escapes him, and he slides his phone on the kitchen counter before taking a cold shower. You touch yourself to the thought of him that night.

Nene, ¿por qué no llamaste, si pensás en mí?

Tu vida se hizo imposible cuando aparecí,

No lo hagas todo tan difícil, decime que sí...

Communication is sparse in the following weeks, a text here and there with empty promises of meeting again, some suggestive. You’re both busy, but you don’t know what he does, just that it’s important and he’s pretty high profile in his field. So maybe it’s that, he can’t afford to be seen with just anyone, that’s understandable. You weren’t looking for marriage or anything. You wish he’d respond faster, get in your head about it, and then remember he’s just some guy, with a reputation, apparently. The more you find out about him the more you like him, so maybe he’s not just some guy.

The cycle repeats, but you still think about him at night when you’re alone. A heat takes over you, and you listen to his voice messages to get off. He does the same, takes it a step further by going through your socials to see your pretty smile and imagine it under him. There’s nothing he can do about being preoccupied, but your voice telling him to call you echoes in his head. He never gets around to it.

Flaco, no tenemos nada que perder, oh

Si no nos vemos sé que esto va a doler, oh

No mientas, sé que vos también me esperás

Vení a buscarme sin avisar, por algo tenemos que empezar

You leave another message, and you’re not sure if he’s even listening to them still at this point, but your persistence overwhelms your pride. And he continuously gives you enough feedback to continue your efforts.

“You can pick me up without telling me, just swing by, if it’s more convenient, y’know...”

And you sound down bad, but if that’s how he works, you’re okay with it, as long as you get to kiss him again.

He calls you really late one night, tells you that he thinks about you more often than he’d expect for someone he met once at a bar and then didn’t even sleep with. You’re giddy to know there’s reciprocation, but the no action makes you frustrated, you tell him that and he chats you up until you fall asleep.

On the next Saturday, you stay home, a glass of wine and phone in hand while you watch stories on your socials.

When you click on the circle with a pair of blue eyes behind designer sunglasses as the profile picture you see he’s gone out again, different bar. He captions the shot of an obnoxious neon sign hung up on the wall that reads “this is the place.” a snarky, “it’s not 😀”

You send him your location without any text in the message and the “read” indicator pops up as fast as the ellipses bubble does, indicating his typing.

¿Por qué no te venís a mi casa y lo hacemos en mi habitación?

Si mirás un segundo el teléfono, te mandé mi ubicación

“😏” is his response and you give him 30 minutes to make it over.

Si decidís llamame y nos vemos

He makes it over in half the time, and you wonder if the bar was close by or if he sped to your place. A ding indicates you’ve received a text, his confirmation of arrival, and you buzz him up after he looks directly up at the camera with two peace signs up and a stupid, handsome smile. You chuckle and open the door before he knocks, curled finger to rap on the door left purposeless.

“Hi.”, Is his greeting, grin painfully bright as he slides past you to deliberately press against you. You’re in shorts and a worn, cut-up crew neck only suitable for wearing at home, you don’t miss the way he gives you a swift up and down, those eyes burn into you. You’d feel them even if you weren't looking.

“Do you want some wine?” You turn your back to him while you go up to refresh your glass and pour him one, but long fingers wrap around your wrist and guide you to put the bottle down. He presses his lips against your ear and whispers to you that he doesn’t drink. Your skin rises and the proximity makes you turn around, nose knocking into his and he wastes little time getting you up on the kitchen counter. It shocks you, how easily he does it and you’re eager to see what he looks like under the sweaters he wears so often if he’s able to lift you so effortlessly. He settles between your legs and breathes in the floral scent of your perfume when he presses needier lips against your neck.

“I actually do think about you all the time, y’know.” He mutters, and you set the glass down after a big gulp.

“Hm...I wouldn’t know...” you detangle his hair with gentle fingers as he kisses you, his lips are getting heavier on your skin. His hands too, slipping under the shorts you wore to squeeze the top of your thighs, sends a chill up your spine. Teeth graze your throat, a gentle reprimand, and you jut your hips closer to the edge of the counter, making sure they're snug against his. A grunt is pressed into the hardness of your collarbone and the hands at your thighs move to grip the soft flesh of your exposed sides, thick fingers creeping up your back. Each skim pulls you closer into him and he chuckles airily onto your throat when the next breath that leaves you shakes.

“Nervous?”

You catch when he looks up at you out of the corner of his eye, sly smile on his lips. When you face him again, unflinching, you bite;

“Impatient.”

Gojo only manages a smile, not able to quip back for once, before you slam lips into his and he gets the message, shutting up is worth it sometimes.

You don’t register when he pulls you off the countertop or how he knew where your room was but you’re on your bed now. The way you push clothes off each other is nothing short of desperate. You both take a second to look at each other, eyes frantic as they run over every curve, dip, angle, muscle, and then your eyes meet, and it feels like something snaps in half, or in place, in your brains. You were pleased to find out he only looks lanky and is basically carved from marble, one of Michelangelo’s masterpieces, if you will. He can’t keep eyes off your thighs, the contour of where your legs press together hiding something he wants. Gojo grins when you pull him on the bed, letting you take initiative as you grow more comfortable.

The wine gives you just the right amount of courage to crawl on top of him once fully undressed but he’s shameless, proving more so than you are, and gestures for you to keep scooting up, curling a finger at you.

“You know how I told you I think about you a lot? This is something I think about all the time…”

You’re sure you look a mess, warm face and hair a mess but Gojo likes it. He imagined what you would look like at this moment more times than he can count but nothing could beat the reality of now. Your skin is burning up when his cold hands touch you again, kneading the mass of your thighs and ass. He watches how you gingerly place your knees beside each side of his head with excited eyes. Like a predator catching its prey, he wraps arms around your thighs swiftly, locking you in and pulling them closer to his face.

“F...fuck,” you fully sit on his face and his hum of enthusiasm tells you it was the right thing to do. Even as he makes out with your cunt, you call him, whimpers of his name making his dick twitch against his stomach. His ears ring when you press your thighs against them but he keeps going, he urges you to cum on his tongue, to leave him a red splotchy breathless mess and you do, and, god, he could get off to that alone. He grips your tits as you come, squeezes firmly, probably bruising, and you reel in the sensation as you roll your hips down to savor the feeling of your orgasm.

The mess between your thighs is mostly lapped up by Satoru before you could make it off his face and lower yourself onto his torso to kiss him. A rumble rips through him when you suck on his tongue and whine against his lips that you want to fuck him, so he doesn’t say much else other than a soft ‘go ahead…’, before you sink down on him, pink head of his dick flushed against the warmth he’s been aching for. His lips press into a thin line trying to suppress the groan that leaves him and he sits up, grabbing your face to catch you in another wanton kiss. It saves time for you to adjust, for you to set a pace that you like and for him to relish being inside you. You pick an agonizing cadence, though, and he isn't known for his patience.

His hips snap up the second your hips are flush against one another again and you gasp when he clamps arms around your waist and pistons his hips up. You croak out his name, a fist in his hair and trembling fingers between your legs doing a sorry job of skirting you towards your orgasm compared to Satoru.

"Come for me, angel, c'mon..." his voice pulls your eyes to him and he laughs breathlessly when you can't do anything but press your forehead to his. The vice grip your insides have on his dick threatens to end his fun early, but he manages to hold out enough for him to have you unravel around him. An elegant hand rests around the juncture of where your shoulder and neck meet, a thumb grazes your collarbone and pushes back to guide you to sit up. His hips keep going, you don't know how but it's driving you wild. The same thumb runs down your torso, between your breasts, over your heated skin, and finds itself between where you two meet to rub languidly at your swollen clit. Such different sensations make whatever semblance of coherence you have shatter and you announce your orgasm with a resounding,

"Fuck."

Satoru laughs, but it's all muffled, you can't even think when your orgasm hits you for a second time. It lasts so long, at least it feels like it does, and you have to hold yourself up on the body beneath you with struggling arms. Said body barely seems to be breaking a sweat and has given very little indication of it being as worn out as you're becoming. Was this dude made in a lab? You'll ask him later. "Worth the wait, right?"

You only respond after your breathing lets you, and you sigh when you look down at him, finding his teasing untimely but charming, nonetheless.

"I swear I'll block you."

His head shakes like he doubts that, a sweet kiss presses to your chest and he sits up momentarily before you find yourself on your back, chest still heaving in its effort to catch up on breathing.

"I'm gonna get you some water, and then I'll give you more reasons to block me."

childe finds that, for a brief moment, he lost the ability to breathe. you peeked into the room from the doorway and you wore an easy smile. his sharp eyes caught the glimmer by your ring finger and was that… a ring? tentatively (and with a little bit of nervousness because what would he do if he was wrong?), he checks his own, and sure enough, an identical ring was wrapped around his finger.

it’s a little childish but childe erupts into loud laughter as his heart began racing in a hundred miles per hour. it appears that the shadows of his mind decided to cut him some slack that night.

he’s always wanted a family of his own so dreams where you and he were together didn’t come off as much of a shock. this is why he didn’t even consider the possibility that he traveled into the future. rather, he shook it off as another wishful dream of his.

childe decided to keep the questions to himself. inquiries are boring anyway. isn’t it so much better to savor the moment? wholesome interactions came so rarely for him nowadays. it wouldn’t hurt to indulge and pretend for a short while, right?

he spends the entire morning helping you with chores like a dutiful husband, popping jokes left and right, and pulling you into a random concert with brooms as your microphones. your child sits in the sideline, amused and laughing before childe picks him up and spins him in the air.

your jubilant laughter reminds him that this is such a good dream but he knew deep in his heart that as long as he remains to be 'childe,’ it’s all it would ever be. that dampens his mood but as he watches you spoil your son, he figured that reality could wait for a second longer.

“You’re gonna kiss me, right?”

You wrinkle your nose up in disgust, turning to face the cockiest grin plastered on Satoru's features, “Kiss you? I just saw those lips,” you use your pointer finger to outline his now pout, “On a lot of others tonight. I’m good, thanks.”

“Did you just… slut shame me?” His smirk is back as you sigh in defeat, “No, I just don’t want to catch mono.”

“Fair enough,” he crosses his arms as you both scan the room closely, “Do you think he’s fucking someone?”

“Suguru is always fucking someone,” you mutter under your breath, earning a deep chuckle from the white-haired idiot. Being friends with one of them would be more than enough; both were a menace. You loved it.

“Oh well, guess he’ll miss the ball drop then.”

You nod, resting your head on his shoulder, something you were finally able to accomplish thanks to your strappy heels.

“Choso!” you stumble when Satoru abruptly lunges forward, leaving you with no support for your aching skull as you straighten yourself out.

Choso?

“Oh hey, Gojo,” the tall figure makes you pause for a moment. He looks so…

“Y/N, stop staring. It’s creepy,” Satoru holds an arm out for you to take, one you slap down as you walk over on your own.

“Y/N? Pretty name,” Choso’s eyes settle on yours, a slight gleam present in his orbs as you smile back at him, “Thank you.”

“Are you dating Gojo?” he turns his head to face Satoru, which you’re grateful for, considering the way you almost choke on the tense air surrounding you.

“Yes, we’re lovers-”

“No, we’re not, oh my god, no, we’re not,” you shove Satoru, annoyed and embarrassed.

“Smart choice,” Choso’s tongue sticks out the side of his mouth slightly as he grins, sending a warm sensation down your body.

You freeze hearing the chanting of numbers around you, fuck, was it already almost midnight?

“Are you kissing someone tonight?” it’s abrupt and rushed, shocking both men as it leaves your mouth.

“Huh? Oh, for New Year’s? Umm, no why—”

“Can you kiss me?”

“Woah Y/N, calm down—”

“Yeah,” Choso smiles wide, cutting off Satoru and easing your nerves, “I would love to.”

“Oh, thank god,” you babble, grabbing his hand and walking off from a stunned Satoru.

You halt once you’re finally with all of the others, crowded in a small apartment living room, everyone huddled around the TV.

You turn to face the stranger of a man, hesitant as you wrap your arms around his neck, “I’m not usually this forward, by the way,” you mumble.

His hair was dark and a blatant mess, but it sort of made sense somehow, almost appearing neat in a way. You couldn't help but notice the tattoos crawling up his neck, the one visibly present across his nose and the piercings that decorated his ears and nose. This was definitely what the embodiment of danger must look like, you thought, yet you felt strangely safe around the man.

10 9 8

“Oh, well I am,” his arms snake behind your back, holding you snug against him as you get a whiff of his cologne, musky and warm with the mix of fresh mint and alcohol on his lips.

“Y/N!” Suguru’s voice calls from the staircase, making your head turn as you follow the noise, only for Choso to gently grab your chin and return your gaze back to him.

7 6

“They can both wait, right?” Choso’s eyebrow raises in amusement as he questions you, a small glint in his eye as you sheepishly nod, definitely way too sober for the level of an easy flirt he was putting down on you.

“Let’s put on a show then, hm? What do you say?”

5 4

“A show?”

3 2 1

Choso secures a palm flat onto your back as he dips you down into a deep and passionate kiss, one that leaves you breathless as you desperately cling onto his body for support, hearing a loud huff of disappointment in the background, which is immediately followed by loud cheers and “Happy New Years!”s.

Your body has no time to react as he stands you back up, both your hands planted on his chest as you try to stabilize yourself, his lips tugged into the smuggest of grins as he watches Satoru and Suguru stand impatiently behind you.

“Y/N, what the fuck was that?” Suguru squints at you, tapping your shoulder when you don’t turn to face him, too busy staring up at Choso, who makes direct eye contact with the suddenly annoyed silky raven haired man.

“Nice to see you too, Suguru,” Choso chimes in, snapping you out of your daze as you finally look over to your two friends, Satoru in complete shock as Suguru’s disgust couldn’t be any more visible.

“Right, bye Choso,” Suguru nods before taking your hand in his, “Come on Y/N, we’re leaving now,” Satoru demands, causing your face to crinkle up in confusion as both men tug you away.

“Uhh,” you hopelessly look back at Choso, his chuckle vibrating his body as you attempt to smile and say goodbye, “I’ll see you soon? Maybe?”

“You will,” he nods confidently, though you’re not at all sure exactly how.

Once both men had you out of the apartment you slapped their arms to let you go, which they do immediately, “Okay what the fuck? Seriously what the fuck?”

“Choso is not the one for you, Y/N, trust me,” Suguru calmly states, beginning to walk to the elevators as Satoru waits for you to follow him.

“Oh, and you know that how exactly?” You tilt your head, beginning to chase his heels to catch up. Why did he have to walk so fucking fast?

“Because he’s our friend, obviously,” Satoru comments, staying beside you and obviously less agitated than Suguru, “He’s just not good for you, okay? He’ll probably break your heart, and we don’t want that for you.”

“Oh, and you guys are any better than? Tell me, Satoru, how many hearts have you broken?”

“That is irrelevant. Those girls weren’t you, obviously,” He snickers, earning a tsk from Suguru as he halts and spins on his heel.

“Look, Y/N, Choso is a great friend, but I just don’t see you guys ever being friends. Especially not after he fucking kissed you. We really just don’t want you getting attached to someone who’s going to hurt you, alright?” Suguru crosses his arms as he stares down at you, making you sigh as you continue walking with Satoru to stand in front of him.

“It’s New Years, we kissed because it’s New Years, it wasn’t romantic or anything. He was just being funny,” you rolled your eyes as Suguru drops his arms, “Can you please just drop it already? We met for like a couple of minutes and you guys embarrassed me more than enough. He probably thinks I’m insane now.”

“Good, it worked then,” Satoru teases, wincing when you slap his forearm in annoyance.

“I’m not going to pursue him or anything. You guys both know I’m not ready for anything like that, so just chill,” you finish, watching as both of the men’s eyes soften as you pout slightly.

“I’m sorry we dragged you out of the party like that,” Suguru apologizes first, “me too,” Satoru follows as Suguru pulls you in for a hug, tugging Satoru in after you.

“I hate the both of you sometimes,” your voice is muffled into Suguru’s pec as both men laugh lightly at the comment, “But I love you too, maybe.”

“Love you more,” they reply in sync, making you relax a little in both their grips.

It’s not like you really even cared, you had just met Choso, and it’s not like the kiss you had meant anything. It was just for New Years, everyone kisses for the ball drop, everyone. So it meant nothing… right? The way he caressed you and left your body ignited meant nothing. The way your lips molded perfectly with his, how natural it all felt, how comfortable his touch was on your figure, it all meant nothing.

Right?

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you managed to infiltrate her bedroom, adding little things that reminded you of her, that would remind her of you, the black sheep room in the apartment, the only part that looked like a home

she wouldn’t let you say you loved her so instead you bought the wine she swore didn’t give her a hangover, you carefully prepared her lunches that you lied when you said it was just something store bought nothing special, so you stayed a half second longer on each part of her form imbuing a small part of your love in each kiss

you wondered how she could stand it, your actions so much stronger than those three words could ever be

your mouths crash in uncoordinated desperation, needing to be closer and connected

tongues licking into each other, tasting the dry tangy remnants of the wine on the other, addicted to each other

you trail down from her mouth to her jaw, her neck, lightly sucking and nibbling on the soft flesh, eliciting barely concealed whines from her throat with each touch

you lived for those sounds a confirmation that you could penetrate her defenses, that she wasn’t faking the affection she held for you

you stay true to your word and you don’t mark anywhere her clothes can’t cover

but you make work of the skin below her breasts, the side of her ribcage, making a winding trail down her abdomen

and finally you make your way to what you had been thinking about all day, the soft wet heat she’d swear wasn’t dripping for you

unintentionally your tongue runs torturously slow between her lips, eliciting more whines as you avoid pressure where she was looking for it

circling your tongue just outside of her clit staying far enough away to force her to beg

you sit back on your legs, sucking marks into her thighs, reaching an arm up to squeeze her arching back running soothing circles into her sides

her legs shift around you, you can feel how hard she’s working to keep her body under control

you get lost in these moments, mouth moving mindlessly and slowly ignoring her hushed pleas

it took a lot of patience to get shoko like this, and it became harder and harder to find moments that could last long enough, without the bubble bursting

your other hand reaching down to bring about your own release, moaning against her clit

it was the sight of you bringing pleasure to yourself that finally breaks her

her lurching off the bed and her body curling around you clutching the top of your head, cries begging for you to not stop, to keep going

she needed it, being left on the edge by you all night

you pull away, taking your hand covered in your own juices and slapping against her pussy, and then lightly gliding over her in comfort as if you felt bad for the pain you caused

it only made you slap harder the next time seeing the water bubbling in her dark eyes

finally you mumble a halfhearted apology, bringing your face back into her, circling and sucking on her clit with renewed fervor, taking your thumb and rubbing it around her entrance

it is when you finally give in and move your fingers deeper into her that she finally releases

she’s made a complete mess of you, hair left askew, wetness surrounding your jaw, eyes barely able to blink themselves open

and just like that as soon as she had opened up for you, she had closed off again, sauntering her way into the bathroom, she didn’t mean for you to leave, she would never say it but she wanted you to stay

even with the distance she made, she didn’t want you so far away that she couldn’t touch you, know you were there, ground her to a reality she felt herself slipping away from, if not for you to hold her down

Something about the mischievous personality that he bestowed caused the others around him to slam their cards down with irritated looks on their faces. Though Dazai only smirked, twirling the royal flush in his hands as he threw them down to the table, obviously pulling a rare chance to win at the game of poker. And that was when he snatched the ticket out of the gambler’s hands, demanding a rematch though Dazai had already bolted out of his seat at that point.

Fiddling the dead cigarette between his teeth, Dazai waved at the groaning men at the table.

“I won—fair and square! Now I get to board the ship!”

That cocky bastard. He knew himself all too well, with the giddy smile on his lips while he dashed past the strangers that were walking down the street while nearly tumbling through his skips. Mocha colored hair swaying against the breeze. The grin never escaped the excited expression. Finally. He’d get his final wish sooner or later.

Quickly, he ran to the docks, brushing past the people that were waving their farewells and confetti danced along the air. A bright sunny day, where the heat beneath the clouds was starting to get through the heavy layers of Dazai’s bandages—not that he wasn’t used to this, though—and darting past the crowd, he laughed boisterously.

A joyous sight to see; his hands gripping on the rails of the ship as his feet stumbled onboard. It was way larger than he expected and he waved to the crowd on the docks. Plastic smiles on their faces—Dazai was well aware of the jealous aura amongst the strangers, knowing that even someone like him was able to land foot on the world’s unsinkable ship.

Dazai would get what he wanted soon.

Turning around, the captain had gathered most of those aboard to announce the luxury of free meals and alcohol for those that made it to ride the Titanic. Rich people, of course. Cheers were rapidly heard as the siren of the boat roared. Dazai’s smile lingered along his lips, closing his eyes to a soft flutter; a peaceful breeze tucked right into his tan coat as he spat out the dead cigarette to have it land in a nearby garbage can.

“Free dinner and booze doesn’t sound so bad.”

And the night followed. Constellations decorated the midnight hues while Dazai squeezed himself along the crowd of others. A family clapping to the piano music in the background with a gentle beat. Couples kissed one another, opening crystal champagne as the chandeliers glistened from up above. Even mere strangers shared a drink and a bite of the steak together while gossiping about their egotistical personalities, even from at the end of a random table, Dazai was able to grasp the fact that everyone was on the royal throne knowing that they had won a trip to the one and only ship.

At first, the Titanic was meant to be for those in higher class, clearly above those that were poor and living amongst the streets. And—poor Dazai, really, because he was stuck in his own mind whenever he found himself jumping from store to store, stealing a piece of bread to feed the orphans that laid themselves to rest on concrete. Surely, Dazai was capable of something better—he knew he was able to land himself somewhere in life, but when did all of that matter, anyway?

Because the man was suicidal. Dazai looked at his filled glass of wine. Plum colored waves within the clean glass. He swirled it around, turning to his side to eye the strangers aboard the massive dining hall. Everyone was in their own subtle crowd. His presence was a ghost; hidden beneath the sparkling yellow lights. He was noticeable in the illumination, yet concealed from the world around him—as he always was.

There was no one he could raise a glass for close to him. That’s how it had always been for Dazai as he chuckled to himself, fully kept in that depressed state as he usually would fall into. Swirling the glass in his hands, he chugged the drink down. Not wasting a minute of that bittersweet taste to linger deep within his throat.

Standing up, he tucked a strand of his tousled hair behind his ear and made his way outside of the dining hall. What was deemed to be a bright setting has now transitioned into an unlighted sky despite the stars that kissed along the stars. Moonlight touched his skin. An exhausted sigh tumbled out from his lips.

Making his way to the end of the ship where the only audible noise were the birds that flew above him and his quiet footsteps. Chitter chatter of the crowd had died down. Dazai closed his eyes, hands in his coat pocket as he felt himself start to grow into ease. The night was supposed to be a frightening thought for others; lost in the space of darkness, but with no light in his heart, Dazai found the feelings pleasurable.

An empty world that he was in as he rested his stomach against the railing, staring down at the waves bursting from the heavy ship that was in movement. The water below had never looked so peaceful to him. And his golden irises had faded into a dull illumination. Pondering thoughts about his existence having no purpose was twirling around his mind—which was true, because at what point would Dazai have served a purpose in the act of living?

Gripping on the railing, he threw his legs over and then tightened his grasp on the metal. Sighing to himself, he hummed a soft apology. His death wasn’t going to be heard amongst the world. The unsinkable ship of the Titanic was going to make the front page. As if his life was going to spread around the town. And with one step of his foot, he threw his head back as soft breaths fanned out his lips.

If he had left now, not one person on the ship would’ve recognized his presence. To Dazai, that was peaceful. He wouldn’t have been hurting anyone or ripping their hearts from his death. A speck of dust unknown to one’s eye—floating amongst the air.

Dazai didn’t understand happiness nor did he understand unhappiness. All he was aware of was that everything was going to pass at some point, such as his act of breathing.

“Stop!”

His eyes bolted open. ‘Why is there someone near me?’ He thought to himself, completely baffled before a grip on his hands allowed Dazai’s body to fling back over the railing. His body was sprung over, landing on the floor as he let out an irritated groan.

“Aaaand of course, I had to be inter—”

“Well, of course, you were trying to kill yourself!”

Dazai looked up, meeting your eyes dart into a glare at him. He looked down, watching your hands grip on his trench coat tighter before you sighed deeply. He raised an eyebrow at this. “Why did you stop me?” Dazai asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

You frowned at him. “Because you shouldn’t kill yourself!”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know you but—” you stood up, wiping the wrinkles off your dress. A sigh left your mouth. “Don’t kill yourself. Just don’t do it.”

“Oh?” He turned his head; that cocky side of him was slowly peeking out. “Enlighten me on this purpose of existing, then. I’d love to hear what you have to say about that.”

“Hey, don’t act so arrogant with me,” you retorted with a shake of your head. “I saved your life so you don’t have to act like that towards me.”

“I don’t think you quite get it, do you?”

“Get what exactly?”

Groaning, Dazai placed his fingers on his head. “My goal is to complete a clean and beautiful suicide aaaand you basically just ruined it for me. Congratulations.”

You huffed in response. “Well, your dream is not gonna come true when I’m around.”

And you kept your word on that. Because all it took was for you to shake your head in disbelief once more as a smile grew on your lips, explaining that you didn’t want to see someone risk their life to an unfortunate demise on purpose. Dazai didn’t know you nor did he have recognition of you from stepping foot on the boat, but when you kept your grip on his arm for a good moment, he felt his breath hitch.

He wasn’t sure if it was the grin that you had, joking about how suffocation underneath the cold sea water would’ve been extremely painful—tongue clicking beneath the teeth and crinkles forming near your eyes—but Dazai could only let his eyes widen.

He placed a hand on yours, causing you to look at him with a confused stare. Dazai parted his lips, keeping his touch on yours. He had only met you, yet your skin was warm; a soothing temperature for a chilly night out at sea.

“What is your name?” He asked, curiosity dwelling in his honeyed eyes.

“Y/N,” you said.

“I’d like to see you again.”

Dazai did exactly that.

The next morning, he rushed his way to your cabin and invited you to go out for breakfast with him in the dining hall. When you agreed, his heart continued to pick up its pace. Nothing like the color yellows and whites of the sunny-side up eggs could’ve ever lightened up his mood with a glass of juice pressed against your lips. While the other strangers onboard were so ecstatic about their greed, you continued to spend your time with him.

Usually, Dazai thought about the idea of being a social outcast. One that was far away from the crowds—the type to stand out because he had nobody in his life. Yet despite the lonely one from afar, he remained to still be unnoticed despite his presence underneath the faint lights. Though you continued to spend your morning with him, discussing your future goals as you sprinkled pepper on your eggs. Not minding that you had rescued him from his suicide attempt the other night; an excited feeling he felt, realizing that someone was acknowledging his presence for once.

After breakfast, you both decided to walk out around the higher floor of the ship, laughing at the sophisticated people that were dressed in fancy attire yet you both were in regular commoner clothing. Part of his heart flourished into a rose; petals blooming underneath the sunlight that was pressed against the delicate clouds.

“Dazai,” you spoke softly, where you both rested on a bench. “Please don’t kill yourself again.”

He blinked before sighing. “I can’t promise that, my belladonna.”

“What did you call me?”

Turning away quickly, he sighed. He wasn’t usually nervous. “Nothing, Y/N.”

You chuckled. “You’re an odd man, Dazai. I admire that about you.”

Dazai turned to face you, now resting his arm on the bench while he rested the side of his head against his palm. Smiling in adoration, he ignored his fluttering heart and inhaled a breath. “I admire you for rescuing a random stranger from committing suicide,” he said and you laughed in amusement. Cute. “Say, how you would react if I ask you to commit a double suicide with me?”

A frown was now drawn on your face. “Absolutely not. God, you’re something else.”

“Hmm?” He rolled his eyes and playfully let out a sigh. “Damn. What a shaaame. I could’ve gotten to have a wonderful double suicide with a beautiful woman but nooo—”

“Beautiful, huh?” You interrupted him.

Dazai wasn’t aware of the words tumbling out of his mouth. Instead, he kept his lips parted before he burst out in a joyous laughter; voice tickling his lips as it rang your ears. Never did you realize that this suicidal man with a weird personality could sound so heavenly. “Of course, my belladonna!” He cheered, waving a hand. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”

You turned away, hiding your flustered face. “Oh really?”

“Did I stutter, my dear?”

You smiled away from him. “No, you didn’t.”

Every so often, Dazai found himself making his way to your cabin. The brush of suicidal thoughts slowly swept past his mind every time he continued to walk towards your door. Of course, without hesitation, you started to grow fond of his character and allowed yourself to spend time with him. And at some moments, you’d put a puzzle together in your room.

(“That piece doesn’t really belong there, does it?” He’d ask and you’d shrug.

“Oh waaaait, it does!” He would respond soon after.

And you’d laugh. As you always did around him.)

Or play a childish game of tag around the boat. Not minding that the richer strangers were eyeing you both.

(“You’re running too fast!” You’d whine.

“You’re just too slow!” He’d respond.)

For a week straight after you became his savior, he’d ask for you to join him for dinner in the dining hall. Hearing your hiccups after you drink a glass of champagne was enough to cause a blush to flutter along his cheeks. Chin rested on the palm of his hand as his eyes trailed around your figure. He didn’t realize how attractive you really were—his thoughts darted into an immediate thought of wanting to stroke his fingers along your slightly exposed skin, but he cleared his throat and turned away.

He watched the sun die down from its orange horizon. An idea clicked in his head and Dazai smirked to himself. Such a romantic man he was, and immediately, he grabbed ahold of your hand and then pulled you away from the table, ignoring your protests that you were still finishing your meal but he didn’t care for that at the moment.

Quickly dashing out of the dining hall, Dazai ran to the end of the boat, where he had tried to attempt suicide before your rescue came into play, and you chuckled behind him. Pleading that you were still hungry, Dazai could only laugh in response to that.

Following him, you reached the end of the boat, where the only figures that were panting out of exhaustion were the both of you.

“Hey…” you heaved out breaths. “Why… why did you have to—”

“Look at that,” Dazai grinned.

He pointed at the sunset in front of him. Soft shades of orange mixing with yellow hues, diving into a translucent sleep. Dazai could practically taste the sunset as he bit his bottom lip in awe before turning to you; eyes fixated at the view. Dashes of periwinkle pecking his cheeks, pillar of his neck noticeable from the brightness of the sun, and his heart began to tumble into the clement peace of spring.

“It’s beautiful,” you noted. “Someday, I’d like to travel the world by sea.”

“Would you like to travel with me?” Dazai asked, not thinking before he spoke.

“Let’s get to know each other for a little bit longer before I can decide on that,” you chuckled as he nodded.

“Fair enough, belladonna.”

“The view is stunning.”

He smiled while placing his palms on your waist, causing you to gasp from his touch. “I know it is,” he murmured, close to the shell of your ear. Clear indication that he was talking about the way you looked rather than the sunset itself.

Slowly, he pushed you closer to the edge of the boat. Part of you wanted to comment on this, though you retorted to soft giggles leaving your lips. You had only met him a week ago and the way he caressed your shoulders and waist in the purist manner caused you to feel safe from his touch. Dazai smiled to himself, continuing to push you further to the end before he—finally—threw his arms around your waist.

“Look at you!” He exclaimed, watching your grin grow on your flushed face. The wind wasn’t so rough—it was just perfect enough to tickle his cheeks as his disheveled hair flew back tenderly. “You’re on top of the world!”

“I aaam!” You laughed in excitement, feeling his grip on you tighten while you throw your arms out.

Facing the sunset in front of you with Dazai’s arms protectively holding you tight. His chuckles had a dainty touch to the emotional setting. With your grin painted on your giddy expression, it was enough to have his heart slowly dive into an autumn breeze due to the sea wind—a careful caress to his skin. Flowers still bloomed within his heart; a garden that had a never-ending growth.

It wasn’t long until Dazai had to realize he was falling in love with you. Part of him mentally slapped himself for finding attraction to someone after only meeting them for a week. At least—with your presence around—he wasn’t a complete social outcast anymore. Despite his mischievous sins, you only saw him as a man with a broken record, in hopes of finding a way to allow music to be heard beautifully again.

When the night crept upon the both of you, Dazai wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol that was messing with his mind but he allowed himself to indulge in you anyway. For one night, even so—and with the way your hips moved along with his as he’d consistently bit your shoulder, allowing himself to feel you when the lights had turned off, it was a euphoric feeling.

Red-stained kisses along his collarbone. Dazai didn’t mind it. Only he minded that the blankets were covering your gorgeous body and he wanted to nibble at the skin exposed to him. You let him. Hands thrown in his hair as subtle moans were pushed out of your mouth, allowing yourself to embrace every part of his bandaged body and Dazai permitted himself to give you all of him without hesitation.

Upon the next morning, Dazai was the first to wake up. Usually, he’d contemplate life at this hour, but for some reason, he didn’t today. He wasn’t complaining, though. He turned to you, faint snores coming from your lips as a smile grew on his flushed face. “How beautiful,” he commented, smirking to himself at the bruised purples decorating your neck and collarbone.

Gently, he kissed them, one by one. Of course, you woke up, and nearly tackled him right then and there since he interrupted your sleep since you both decided to knock out two hours after midnight. Dazai only allowed himself to be attacked, with a whack of a pillow to his face as he pleaded for mercy. His heart continued to flutter; autumn wind enlightening his heart—oranges and yellows dancing along his heartbeat, similar to the sunset that he witnessed with you the past evening.

“I’m in looove,” he sang along, not caring for anything in the world. You stopped your pillow fighting with him before nearly dropping it to the floor. Dazai smirked at you; adoration in his eyes with a flicker of gratitude across his sacred stare. “You heard me right, belladonna. I am falling in love with you.”

“Dazai…”

“I know!” He stopped you, raising a hand. “Too soon, I know. I don’t want to ruin anything.”

You shook your head. “You’re not.”

“Don’t feel pressured to feel the same way.”

You didn’t say anything; it was all happening too fast, yet you only responded with a kiss to his forehead as he slowly engulfed himself into your chest. Naked bodies entangled with one another along the crumpled bed sheets and wrinkled blankets. Sun peeking through the window. Sighing, you continued to kiss his face all around. He chuckled—clearly, he loved this.

“I know you told me to not feel pressured but…” your voice trailed off as Dazai watched you turn your head shyly. “I’m starting to feel the same way back.”

“Can’t resist my charm, hmm?” He cocked his head side to side.

You scrunched up your nose as you shook your head. “You’re a strange and odd man, Dazai.”

For some reason, his heart fluttered at your response.

The more as time passed, the closer you both had gotten. It even involved the both of you talking about your personal lives on a deeper aspect, though you did the majority of the talking as Dazai was there to listen as you both watched the moonlight during those peaceful nights. With your head resting on his chest, Dazai felt quiet. A tranquil feeling. With your words echoing through his ears, he allowed his fingers to intertwine with yours every so often.

A cathartic release; pressing the tips of his fingers against yours before they merged into one together. You didn’t mind it when he placed kisses around your knuckles as you shared a funny story and he’d surprise you with a peck on the lips to throw you off guard—anyone to see your flustered face, really.

At one point, he allowed himself to kiss you passionately. Like the night that he made love to you, though he expressed his feelings through the kiss.

He tasted the sunset on his lips.

Dazai hoped that his heart wouldn’t grow weary, for that the season of autumn wasn’t going to wither into a cold winter night.

But it didn’t take long for your shock gasp to catch his attention while the boat viciously rocked to one side, causing you to tumble down to the floor from the bed. Dazai called out to you, attempting to reach you before the ship had swayed harshly again and he felt his back hit against the wall—his head along with it.

“Dazai!” You called out to him, attempting to stand on your feet.

Quickly, you ran to him as he groaned, placing a hand on his head. Once Dazai opened his eyes, his vision went into a motion blur. He let out a painful moan right after that before he shut his eyes right away.

Throwing your arms around him, you pulled him close and let his forehead rest against your shoulder. Looking out the window, you noticed a crowd of people running past. Anxiety began to boil your blood but you allowed yourself to be brave while you let Dazai keep his head rested on your shoulder.

“Grab the children and women!”

A male voice echoed from outside your door. Gripping onto Dazai tightly, you kept him close to your chest while he continued to groan painfully. “Shhh,” you shushed him as he murmured questions about the commotion outside. “I got you, Dazai. It’s okay; we’re okay.”

Harsh knocking was planted on your door. Dazai flinched from it as he threw his hand further into his hair. The pounding headache was growing—and Dazai wasn’t sure how hard he hit his head once the boat rocked, but God, the pain wasn’t easing.

“Whoever’s in there, you need to leave now!”

You gulped, unsure of how to respond as you looked down at Dazai who still kept his eyes shut. A whirlwind hurricane crashed in his head; stinging from one end to another and Dazai hoped that he’d have a moment of silence with you. Though the rush of screams and cries from the outside of your cabin door wasn’t easing the terrible headache in the slightest.

“Da—Dazai, we have to go,” you stuttered, fear embedded in your vocal tone. “Can you get up?”

“Agh,” he groaned, shaking his head before burrowing his face further into your neck. “Mmm… no.”

“I—I think something’s going on.”

“Wha—”

“Dazai, we have to go,” you cautiously stood up, nearly losing your balance while the ship rocked once more. Dazai groaned at that and you kept his face close to your chest while helping him manage to get on his two feet. ‘How hard did you hit your head?’ You thought—but you shook your head. That wasn’t important.

“What’s going on?” Dazai asked, opening one of his eyes before he closed them shut as you swung one of his arms around your shoulders and kept an arm around his waist. “Y/N, what is—”

“I—I don’t know,” you responded, clearly panicked.

“I’ll protect you, okay?”

“Shush,” you said, slowly making your way to the front door with him taking slow steps. “Worry about yourself right now. I saved you once before and dammit, I will try to do it again.”

He smiled to himself at your comment as he kept his head down.

You opened the door, eyes widening at your socks getting drenched by the small bit of water filling up from the floor. Dazai noticed the cool temperature on his feet and then widened his eyes, fighting back the stinging pain on his head before he looked around—mentally cursing at the flickering lights—to see that water was pooling down below.

“This can’t be just a leak, right?” You chuckled anxiously; clearly, your mind retorted to the worst thought, but you tried to lighten up the mood—for some reason.

“Fuck,” Dazai swore, gritting his teeth. “The ship is going to sink.”

“I know you’re in pain but can you move?” You asked, trying to nudge him to move to the left so you were able to make your way down the hallway. He nodded, keeping your grip tight around his waist while his arm was still swung around your shoulders.

Carefully, you both made your way down the hallway, having to put in more energy as the floor was beginning to tilt from the ship easing into its dangerous angle. Luckily, you were able to make it to the end, escorting yourself out of the corridor with Dazai’s head still swaying around. His eyes were shut, but his mind was attempting to be in pure focus as adrenaline zapped through his veins; a fight-or-flight reaction, knowing too well that the situation was hazardous.

Knowing that Dazai’s head was in pain, you gulped, frantically looking around for the quickest exit out of the area. Keeping him close to your side, you continued to make your way to the dining hall.

As if Dazai’s head wasn’t already in enough pain, the headache began to worsen once you both stepped foot into the large room.

What was filled with boisterous crowds of the rich singing about their unstoppable greed was now met with chaotic cries and pleas as multiple people clung onto the faintly golden-kissed pillars. You eyed those that were tumbling up the stairs, yelling that the ship was going to sink as they were hastily making their way past others.

“Let’s go, Dazai,” you spoke close to his ear as he nodded.

Dazai rested his head on your shoulder yet he kept his gaze down. At one point, he managed to open his eyes carefully, fighting back the anguish occurring through his head, and tried to keep an eye out for where you were trying to lead him.

It was difficult to not get bumped by people that were trying to save their own lives once the ship began to tilt slightly. The cries began to pick up its volume and you bit your bottom lip, sweat trickling down your forehead. All of this was too much—it was too overwhelming and exhausting to bear.

You gasped as you felt Dazai tumble next to you. His groans were enough to catch your attention. Calling out his name, you went back to grab ahold of him, pleading to have him use his physical strength to get up despite how dizzy his mind must’ve been in its hazy blur. At some point, you worried that he was going to faint from how painful his head must’ve felt.

“M’fine,” he slurred, shaking his head.

“You’re not, but we need to go,” you said loudly, trying to have him properly despite the people pushing past you.

Without hesitation, you cupped your hands around his flushed cheeks and he opened his eyes to stare at you, cautiously watching the worried look drawn on your face. Tears pooled your eyes as sniffles were audible to his ears. “Y/N…” he whispered close to your face.

“Dazai, the ship is gonna sink, please. Try to move. I got you, okay?”

He nodded before throwing his shoulder over you like before. You helped him stay still on his feet as you pushed alongside the strangers that were frantically running up the stairs. Dazai managed to pick up the pace which was good enough; the top of the stairs would’ve been enough to reach the doors that led to the upper part of the ship.

However, a cry was heard from a woman down below, pleading for someone to rescue her before the windows shattered into an alarming screech. Pools of sea water rushed in, nearly eating those below the stairs as they yelled out for help and desperately grabbed ahold of anything that was near their presence.

“Fuck!” Dazai swore out loud.

“Hurry!” You cried out, helping him up the stairs as you both scurried past those close to you.

Dazai attempted to snap into reality, ignoring the blur in his eyes for a moment until you both ran up the stairs together. It wasn’t long until another window above him had broken, where water rushed in to engulf him for a brief moment.

“Dazai!” You called out his name, nearly sobbing at the anxiety drowning your heart.

Shattered glass had marked a few cuts on his wrist. Funny. Dazai was aware of the stinging pain all too well. Though thinking about his past suicidal ideations wasn’t the best move right now. Fighting back the harsh push of the wave, he urged you to keep running up the stairs and that he’d catch up.

You wanted to believe him yet your body lunged further into the water to help him. Ignoring the desperate pleas from those around Dazai, you grabbed ahold of his arm and then helped him out of the water. It wasn’t going to be long until the whole dining room was going to be submerged in seawater.

Steadily, you both ran up the stairs with Dazai’s hand intertwined with yours. Panting breaths became normal for you at this point. A racing heart became a norm as well—at least for the past hour or so.

And you both reached the top of the ship, where you eyed down at the seawater filling up below you.

“Shit,” Dazai swore, placing pressure on his wrists in order to stop the bleeding. Usually, the sight never really bothered him. But now out of all times was just the worst timing.

“Dazai, no,” you cried softly, grabbing ahold of his hand, not minding that you were getting his blood on your skin. “We’re gonna get out of here and I’m going to find help for you, okay?”

He groaned. “You better go out on a few dates with me if we make it out alive.”

“Now is not the time, Dazai!”

You kept your hand locked with his as you pushed past the people that were rummaging through the top floor. The sound of babies crying was enough to drown your heart even more, deeper than you’d imagine, and the wailing sobs of children fearing for their lives started to make you fall into a deeper cry.

“Women and children—only!”

You noticed that some people were desperately jumping on the wooden lifeboats that were slowly inching themselves down to the water. Nearly gasping at the sight, you noticed that all of the lifeboats contained women and children onboard; not one man in sight, regardless of your eyes darting around the boats.

Dazai fell to his knees close to you, heaving out breaths as you inched down to meet him. He rested his head back against the railing, muttering out curse words. Damp hair decorated on his forehead. Watching the layers of the bandages wrapped around his wrist slowly wet into an unsettling dark red, you bit your lip and stood up fast.

You made your way to the man that was shouting at the women and children to get onboard to the lifeboats quickly before you grabbed ahold of the collar of his uniform. Shouts roared from the crowd, demanding that the husbands of the families should get on. Heartbeat raced; steady pace was now gone in a flash. You gritted your teeth at one of the boat crew members.

“Someone I know is in critical pain and he is bleeding!” A loud cry left your lips. “Please get him help. He can’t move and—”

“We are doing ever—”

“Just get him on the lifeboat, please!”

No use. You knew that the crew members were meant to follow orders, yet here you were yelling your agony at him when the ship was sinking. Sighing in defeat, you threw the man to the ground before stomping your way past the yelling men close to you, demanding to be put on the boats.

Dazai was humming to himself in hopes of keeping himself at ease. His eyes bolted open once you grabbed ahold of his figure, forcing him to stumble on his feet. Dragging him past the crowd, you noticed the beaten smile on his lips—almost seeming as if he had decided to give up on hope already and he was welcoming death right at this very moment.

Though what Dazai took note of was that he was going to use the advantage to have you go on the lifeboat before him. Women and children first, anyway. Not like his life mattered to anyone—besides you; not only did the sunset on his lips stay comfortingly but he was soothed by your frantic cries of wanting to get him to safety first. Even before you.

His wrist stung and he bit his bottom lip. Usually, the thought of dying never really annoyed him or even tickled him in the most unsettling way; rather so, he awaited it. But when it came to a sharp pain and blood staining the whites blanketing his skin—no. That wasn’t his thing.

“I don’t give a damn what anyone says,” you cupped his face, nearly stumbling from the few men that tried to jump off the ship in order to gain access to the lifeboat. Dazai kept his eyes on you; hollow yet filled with the usual tints of oranges and yellows that you adored—the beauty of the sunset was within his irises every time he spared to look at you. “Get off this ship. They have to have some first-aid kits or something on these lifeboats. Save yourself and don’t fucking die on me, okay?!”

He smiled at you with a tilt of his head. “Belladonna, I am in love with you.”

“God, Dazai, this isn’t the ti—”

“Please don’t forget that, okay?”

You blinked frantically at him. “Wh—what are—”

“I’m sorry.”

Before you could respond, he placed a kiss on your lips. Hard. In hopes of embracing his feelings with yours. And he pushed you. Hard. Again. You fell back into the lifeboat as the arms of the other women embraced you as you winced in pain from the sudden thud.

Realizing what he had done, you felt the lifeboat slowly ease its way down. Looking up, you stared at him. A smile. He kept it on his face as he laughed out loud and continued to shout out that he was in love with you. A wave of his hand made your heart sink—perhaps drowning underneath the seawater would’ve been less painful at this point. And you noticed the flares go off from behind him, signaling a cry for help near the crescent of the moon from above.

The gold in his eyes fading into a gray.

No matter how stubborn Dazai was, you weren’t going to lie to yourself that you were also falling in love with him as well. Though it was difficult; the unsinkable ship was now sinking, and he was already bleeding from his wrist. A massive headache on top of it. You didn’t know if he was going to give himself into death once the boat would sink—and you weren’t going to risk that happening if that was his final choice.

Gritting your teeth, you looked around the lifeboat to see that it had only eased to a floor below the level that you both were on. Without thinking, you lunged out of the lifeboat, hearing the yells from the women behind you as you gripped onto the railing of the ship.

Grunting, you pulled yourself up shakily. Tumbling over the railing, you coughed out loud, not minding the footsteps that were stomping past you.

“Y/N!”

Dazai’s familiar voice cried out to you. He ran to you in an instant before he helped you up on your feet. Instantly, he planted kisses on your face along with peppering a few on your lips. Wailing out a cry, you wanted to punch him yet you only found yourself slowly diving deep into his chest.

“What the hell were you thinking, Y/N?!” He exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing into a worry. “You were going to get off the—”

“You were going to let yourself die, weren’t you!” You sobbed. Dazai’s eyes widened as a gasp left his mouth. “You idiot, you think I wouldn’t notice! Don’t die, Dazai! I won’t let you—I’m not going to let you!”

“Y/N—”

“I will save your life forever if I have to!” At this point, your cries were audible throughout the floor as you hugged him, face buried deep into his wet shirt. “Tell me, you were going to let yourself just die, right?!”

He blinked before sighing into a defeat. Carefully nodding, he placed a hand on your head before petting you, cautiously shushing you as he kept you close to his chest. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Idiot,” you exclaimed, gripping on his shirt. “Wherever you are, I am going to save you no matter how long it takes!”

Whenever Dazai wanted to say something, he’d speak it so confidently—usually in a cocky manner to play around with people around him. However, with one look of your tearful stares and the banters that you spoke, Dazai wanted to engulf his embrace with yours. Not wanting to leave. Flare lights paraded the sky; blinking slowly from afar.

His eyes darted to the other end of the floor you were both on. The ship was already at its peak of tilting, close to a sharp angle, and he patted your shoulders before jolting up. “Belladonna, we have to go—now!” Dazai shouted, grabbing ahold of your hand. “Don’t you dare let go of me!”

You nodded. Both of you dashed down the floor to where he was instantly looking for the nearest stairs that could lead to the upper level. Even though you had given up your chance to escape, knowing that you were still near Dazai’s presence was enough to make you feel more at ease—despite the pooling anxiety that swirled in your chest.

The ship began to tilt fast, and Dazai hurriedly took you close to the nearest ladder, to where you both ran past a group of people that were praying. Completely hopeless. The shatter of glass was audible from some of the rooms nearby. And muffled cries were the only depressing music heard by those already bracing for death knocking at their doors.

To watch the husbands get held back as their wives had to bid their farewells to them was unfair. The overwhelming feeling of defeat; a white flag along the air to state the surrender as the battle that was once fought was not meant to be won. A heavenly vacation had turned into nothing but a spiral of trauma and agonizing death for some unfortunate souls; not even the waves crashing through the windows was enough to frighten the disgusting sorrow that was gripping your heart as a whole.

Dazai grabbed on the metal ladder, tugging on your hand as he signaled you to climb up with him. Nodding, you followed from behind, frantically climbing up.

He grabbed hold of you, kissing your lips once more before he dragged you to the very end of the ship. Turning around, you noticed that the lifeboats were all gone—and at this point, it was all or nothing. Desperate strangers jumped off the railing, screams echoed through the chilly sea wind, and the idea of the desperate emotion of forlorn hovered above the sinking shop.

The flares that went off into the sky were no longer being sent off. Perhaps that all of the given hope was lost at this point. And the ship was tilting, with your fingers intertwined with Dazai’s. Maybe you were going to die a beautiful death with him after all—at least, with his presence, it wasn’t so bad. Not on the brink of loneliness. Because he would’ve been there with you. Though for a suicidal man, you didn’t expect him to be so determined; had it been for your safety or both of yours? You couldn’t recall.

When the ship split in two, screams were louder than before and cries became the only noise that you were used to by now. Dazai fell on his feet before forcing himself to stand up as you two made your way closer to the railing of the ship; the grip of his hand tighter than before—gritted teeth and knitted eyebrows—as he let out a heavy breath.

“You’re not letting go, okay?” Dazai said and you nodded quickly. He grabbed onto the railing before helping you up. Once you were around the railing with him, he kept an arm around you tightly and then planted kisses on your cheek, attempting to soothe your cries. “This is where you saved me, remember?”

“Dazai,” you sobbed.

“We’ll be okay, love,” he grabbed ahold of your hand as the half of the ship had fallen onto the water. A large splash of the cold sea water washed over you, causing you to yelp out in fear and he kept his grip tighten around you—enough to have you hide your face deep within his wet shirt, hoping that he wouldn’t make any sudden movements enough to have him let you go. “We’re going to be okay. I love you. I’m not letting you go anywhere.”

“I’m—I’m scared—”

He kissed your forehead and then your lips. “I love you. Stay close to me. Do not let go of my hand.”

“Oka—okay.”

The half of the ship tilted in its ninety degree angle, causing the people below to fall to the water. Every passing second felt like an eternity, where the splash of white and blues were dark from the midnight sky. You closed your eyes, hearing the crash of the waves bang your ears as you let out an uncontrollable sob into Dazai’s chest.

“I’m scared, Dazai, I’m so—”

“I know, love, I know,” he attempted to soothe you, knowing that you were both going to submerge deep within the water in a few seconds. Quickly, Dazai placed a kiss on your forehead once again before sprinkling his lips around your flushed face. “Hold onto me, okay? We’re going to stay together.”

“Dazai!” You let out a sob.

“I love you! Do not let go of my hand, okay?”

And the two of you had fallen into the water. The cold had never felt so bitter and disgusting before. On the brink of death; near those that were pleading for mercy as they wailed their arms around. Waves crashed in the night. Emotionless and gut-wrenching trauma filled the air, near the crescent moon.

Your hand never left his, no matter how slippery it was. Oxygen taken away from your lungs. Dazai lunged up from the water, gasping for as much air as he could. Breathing had never made him feel so alive before. And his eyes darted around, in hopes of finding anything that he could get his hands on to help bring both of you on some type of surface.

With the water temperature, there was no way that both of you were going to survive in the sea. He eyed a large wooden board before pulling you up close to him, where you coughed out in fear and still fought back a couple of cries. In an instant, Dazai dragged you along the water, attempting to swim as fast as he could without trying to risk any attempt of losing you.

Hurriedly, he lifted himself on the board before he rolled along the wood, continuing to heave out breaths as he gasped for as much air as he could. Shivered to the bones. Dazai turned to you, attempting to help you up from the water before you shouted at him to stop.

“Y/N! Get on here, I will—”

“It will sink,” your body shivered; the cold was making your legs numb. Dazai bent down on the board before grabbing ahold of your wrists. “No, no, no—”

“My love, don’t be stubborn please. Get up on—”

“Dazai!” You shouted, bottom lip quivering from the cold. Dazai noticed your skin slowly growing pale. From the autumn that soared in his heart, he hadn’t realized that the bitterness of winter was going to fade into a long cold night. “Do—don’t… just stay.”

“Y/N, please,” Dazai bit his lip as he fought back a cry.

“I’m so—so cold.”

“Let me help you, okay beautiful? Everything is okay.” He chuckled, in hopes of the compliment would be enough to make you smile. And you forced a smile, despite how much your jaw was in pain and your body shivered along with the cold temperature painfully stinging your skin.

“It—it will sink. You—you know that.”

Of course, he knew.

“Switch places with me,” Dazai demanded, nearly trying to get off the board.

You smacked his hand with as much energy as you could before letting out a breathy giggle. Dazai gritted his teeth before shoving his head down, forehead meeting the wood, and he let out a defeated cry. Hopeless. At least there was no chance out of this—for you. When it really should’ve been him in the water, not your angelic smile to soon be taken away from the world so soon.

“Da—Dazai, be a good man forever,” you shivered, resting your head as close as you could to his hand. “Do—don’t hate me for this but I have fallen in love with you too.”

“This isn’t the time, love!”

“Ha,” you laughed, closing your eyes against his head. “You—you sound like me.”

“Hang in there, okay?” He leaned in, attempting to place a kiss on your forehead. His lips stung painfully from the cold, but he didn’t care. “I’m holding onto you. I’m going to keep you warm. Do not let go, my love.”

Within seconds, Dazai’s eyes faded into a blur before he felt himself give into exhaustion. His head rested against the wooden board, keeping his hand on yours as he noted that your shivering body was a good sign—in a way—since you were still alive. All he could do was pray, and Dazai wasn’t the type to do such a thing, but he walked along the fine string of hope knowing that you were going to make it out of the cold somehow and help was going to soon make its rescue.

When Dazai slept, his body was cold as his mind faded into nothing but the dark. Yet the shine of the light caused his eyes to flutter open where he noticed that—after what seemed like forever—there had been a batch of rescue boats that came their way to look for any remaining survivors that had survived the traumatic shipwreck.

He turned to you, tapping on your still body, murmuring that there was finally some hope that you both were going to look forward to. But without the trembles of your body, Dazai had to face the reality that the cold had taken over you—frostbitten from the tips of your fingers as your skin was flushed in tangents of blue. And the cry that he wailed out hurt him more than the frostnip at the tip of his nose and the stinging wound on his wrist from before; it called out to the attention of the rescuers, though it wasn’t a pleasant wail that any one of them had hoped to hear.

He pleaded to have them help you, at least try to attempt to take you in for medical help. But Dazai was not a stupid man; his antics may have been silly, though his mind had an intelligence above all, with the one look of your body near his, he knew the truth all too well to his eyes. In frustration, Dazai yelled at some of the men on the rescue boat in anger, almost fumbling on his feet before he was given a warm blanket and he had to force himself to lay on the ground, hidden beneath the cloth.

Dazai knew living was a sin itself. It caused agony to live through the harsh moments of life, such as experiencing the death of his first love and witnessing a traumatic moment in history that would not have been forgotten. He knew that there was no purpose to the act of living, which was why he gave himself the wish to commit a clean suicide to begin with—though you had stopped him at the start of his Titanic getaway.

He always thought that humans were a miserable and dangerous bunch. Clearly, Dazai fully knew it all too well that even he, himself, was a part of that bunch. Though, the boat ride back home was enough to have him open his eyes to peek at the kiss of the sunrise, noting that the beautiful warm colors have greeted him to a peaceful welcome.

Something about the gold beneath the horizon was enough to bring comfort to his heart at that moment.

And it wasn’t long until the news had gotten out about the Titanic sinking. Dazai remained in the hospital with the other rare—and few—survivors for quite some time, not only to heal physically but the majority of the treatment was meant to help cope with the trauma. But Dazai didn’t pay much mind to this, really, and instead invested in his time reading books throughout the hospitalization, wanting to clear his head from having to consistently grieve about your presence.

During his discharge, he found himself watching the sunset more often than usual. Something about those warm colors. Really, it was that. He found comfort in it. Perhaps it was because he couldn’t forget the moment that he took you to the end of the ship to have him realize that he fell in love with you—the way your kindness soared since you cared for him; a mere stranger, let alone, an outcast from the norms of society—and even though he’d have to wait for another day to pass, it was worth it to watch the sunset.

At one point, he was sitting alongside the edge of the docks, Dazai swayed his feet back and forth. An unlit cigarette danced along his teeth before he took it out and flicked it to the side, not minding that the drug was near his presence one bit. The faint noises of children playing in the background began to blur out from his mind.

He eyed the sunset in front of him. Glimmering warm colors as usual, kissing the tip of the ocean’s horizon and Dazai smiled to himself. The image of you flickered across his thoughts; memories began to fill his mind as he closed his eyes and threw his head back. Satisfied sigh escaped his lips, he smiled in remembrance of the illumination in your eyes.

Because Dazai knew that he wasn’t someone that would try to make his presence known to a lot of people—at least, he eyed himself as the usual social outcast. Not once did he really put himself out there for typical relationships that would take a toll on his heart in either the good or bad feelings. Nobody mattered much to his existence, really, and even then, with the sunset eyeing his movements, he didn’t take notice that he could have the ability to be likeable to others.

With your existence vanished from the world, Dazai jokingly found himself saying that he’d commit suicide in order to meet you in another universe—let it be heaven or the pits of hell. Though he could picture your angry stare at him, yelling at him to live to see another sunset. Even now, his heart continued to flutter in the vibrants of oranges and yellows despite the tint of dullness in his eyes.

‘Be proud of me, silly,’ he thought to himself. ‘I haven’t attempted it since you died.’

Dazai let out a deep sigh.

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” he then chuckled to himself, resting his back against the dock.

“I will be okay.”

tags: @whorefordazai @tender-rosiey @internetkilledtheroxstar @sadcannibal @bsdparadise @pompompurin1028 @dazais-osamu @tetsustation @milky-toast @missrown @requiem626k @jessbeinme15 @kyuus4ku @so-chile @kiyokoxd

His eyes trace the crevices your back encases, looping the curve of your shoulder blade, stationary against the wall as he watches you sleep.

Your bare skin is illuminated by the moonlight, creating shadows that only make your figure appear smaller, weaker, he thinks.

So weak, he could just crush you.

Geto despised humans, how they bred curses into this world and left sorry souls like him to clean up their mess—often referring to them as “monkeys,” deciding to wipe each one out if it finally meant peace for sorcerers.

He just didn’t think it would lead to this. He could have never known the toll it’d take. Constantly swallowing despair, hatred, and the fear of mortal souls overwhelmed his senses, he prayed for humanity’s failure as he could only taste their faults.

You rustle in your sleep, moving onto your back as you grumble lightly, causing him to suck in a breath. He sighs as he watches your chest rise and fall, the soft and subtle flesh of your breasts looking so delicate. His hand twitched to know how they’d feel in a heated grip.

“Geto,” you breathe, and he finds himself frozen, your hand trailing down your stomach until it resides between your legs. The comforter rests at your hips, as you often felt hot in your sleep, possibly due to the lewd dreams you were constantly playing in your mind.

A small moan escapes your lips, and it takes everything within him to walk away, his blood pumping and eyes wide as he resorts back to his room.

He could never tell you that he found serenity in your naive nature, taking refuge in your room at night to watch you slumped by slumber, not with how he slaughtered your brothers and sisters like a knife through butter. You were just the girl who brought him his tea, he reminded himself, done by request, of course, but he’d also never admit to that either.

He panicked as his body hit the mattress, crashing along with his world, heart pumping as your gentle moan echoed on repeat loudly in his head. His mind was swirling with a mix of confusion and fear, neither emotion strong enough to take your parted lips and twitching thighs off of his mind.

“Fuck.”

He took his heavy cock into his hand, pumping with an angry fist as he shut his eyes, face scrunched in disgust as images of you coaxed him into wanting more, craving more. Your touch, it had to be angelic, he thought. You were too innocent for him; he was sure he’d paint you broken with a single kiss, that your life would shatter the moment you put your hand in his. But how he longed for it, how he longed to feel your warmth, your hot breath brushing. against his skin. How he’d die to feel alive again. Yet, it could never happen; he couldn’t love you, no. He refused to.

Please no, he begs.

But it’s useless; he knows it’s too late. You’re the only exception in his crooked cause, the only soul worthy of being saved in his eyes. So why? and,

How could you ever want me back?

So easily at that, giving him the softest doe eyes as you handed him his morning tea, sitting patiently as he asked you to wait. You watched as the hot liquid slipped down his throat, watching the muscle of his neck closely as he gulped.

“Y/N?”

Your body jolts as your name rolled so slickly off his tongue, nodding wordlessly in response.

“You know it’s rude to watch,” he smiles sweetly, making your stomach twist and churn, your eyes pinned down as heat stains your cheeks.

You nod again, and he practically growls, “Fucking speak, I hate silence. It’s deafening.”

“I’m sorry, master Geto,” you whisper, tilting your head up slightly, noticing his cup is empty, and immediately moving to your feet to kneel in front of him. A regular position, only of praise, though he found it degrading when done by someone as worthy as you, making him grin as you finally reached a respectable position.

You slowly reach your hands out to take the small ceramic bowl, gasping when his hand grabs your wrist and tug you towards him. You turned, propped on his knee like a child as he snapped loudly. Two young girls run in, ones you recognize as part of his calling, and take the tea remains away, shutting the door as they disappear.

“Speak.”

You look back, your torso twisting as you try to wrap your mind around the fact you were sitting on your leader’s lap. “I’m sorry I-”

“Stop apologizing.”

You released a shaky breath as his eyes penetrated your core, holding you captive as he continued, “Just, talk. I just want to hear your voice.”

You take your bottom lip in between your teeth, helpless and awestruck at how close you were to the sinister man—the dark angel.

“Okay,” you rake your brain for something witty, something worth his time but only land on, “Your hair looks really pretty today.”

Your hand clamps over your mouth as his thigh rumbles along with his laughter, genuine as it bounces off your skin.

“Thank you,” his grin is wide and slapped with cockiness, “I’m glad you like it.”

Suguru hadn’t been the same ever since that day, his ritual escapades to your bedroom beginning as he found himself growing soft, but only for you. To others, he became crueler, the violence pulsing in his ears, canceling the sound of cries for mercy. All he heard was you. His heart pounded twice as strong, holding a second beat to keep you alive under his touch. Afraid he could break you, knowing how easy that would be.

His bare foot tapped anxiously on the hardwood floors, sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes trained on his double doors. He hoped you weren’t afraid, well, at least not scared of him. He was terrified at the whole idea, praying you followed his instructions to a T, not wanting anyone to see a monkey walking into his room. What would the others think? Not that it mattered, they’d die for a false opinion.

You hesitated as you turned the corner to reach his room, sending chills down your spine as you opened the door, the large man sitting up straight and grinning with a small gulp.

“Master Geto,” you bowed, turning to close the door, “Lock it.”

You stilled, back facing him as you took a deep breath and flicked the lock.

“You asked for me?” You held your hands in front of you, the silky material of your uniformed robe brushing your fingers.

“Yes, I have something to ask you,” you nod, trying to remain calm as you kneel in front of him, sitting on your heels as you look up at him.

His blood churns, “Get off the floor.”

Your eyebrow furrows in confusion, but you stand regardless, your chest at his head level as you keep your arms to your sides, “I’m sorry, Master Geto, it’s just what you taught us.”

His jaw twitches. Did you have to remind him you were one of them?

He exhales deeply, “You stand for me from now on, okay?”

“Yes, Master-”

“And call me Suguru.”

Your eyes widen, “I couldn’t, that’s too- that’s too intimate.”

“Oh, and touching yourself to the thought of me isn’t?”

You blink hard, hoping you heard him wrong, but his face remains the same as he draws in your response. Feeding on your shaky energy to stabilize his own.

“How did you-”

“Does it matter?” He cuts you off like he always does. It was not an attempt to be rude, but it pained him to hear you babble so anxiously or praise him naively.

“I’m so sorry,” you gush, your body cold as you wish you could shrink, “I am so sorry.”

His heart sunk, watching your lip shake as a tear raced down your cheek. He places his hands on your waist, both of you stunned at the advance, at how tender it felt.

“I also told you to stop apologizing, Y/N,” his voice is husky and coarse, like he’s so tired of reminding you to act human after months of treating everyone else otherwise.

Didn’t you know you were special? You had to feel it. You must.

“Right, I’m,” you stop yourself, taking a deep breath as you continue, “Right, thank you.”

His hands remain planted at your sides, rooting himself into your core as you stand in silence, waiting for his following command.

“Why?” His voice is soft, catching you off guard as he stares down by your feet, “Why me?”

He looks back up to gauge your response, knowing how reactive your face was, unable to hide genuine emotion. “I don’t know what you’re asking me,” you mumble softly, confusion evident as your head tilted slightly.

“Uh,” he falters for a moment, feeling somewhat wary, like it was your time he was wasting, “I guess I’m asking why you trust me so much.”

You don’t mean to laugh, but a giggle escapes regardless, “Isn’t that my job?”

It’s not what he wants to hear, no, not at all. He wants to run from you, hide from your innocence so he can wreak havoc in peace, without guilt.

“I’m sorry,” you pause after watching his face drop, “It’s just, we’ve barely talked. I trust you because I have no reason not to.”

“How could you say that? You know what I do, don’t you? You’ve seen me-”

“You’re predictable. I can trust predictable people to be predictable. You hate people who step out of line; you punish people who betray your standards. It’s trustable.”

His eyes widen at your small ramble, unsure if he could respect you for your strong awareness or fear you for still smiling at the devil-like, he was nothing to fear.

“I never thought of it like that,” he sighs, running his hands up and down your sides as you settle into his touch.

“You must be focused on other things then,” you stare into his eyes, but they’re too cloudy to find a reflection in, too lost to search for security.

“I presume so,” he stands up, making you take a step back to accommodate him but he holds your hips steady, letting you mold you into him.

“I’d like to focus on new things, Y/N,” he looks down at you, making your heart race as he drops to your ear, “I’d like to focus on you.”

“Why me?” You whisper mostly to yourself.

“I trust nothing,” he responds after twirling you so your back pressed into his chest, making you gasp as his lips graze your neck, “You seem to be everything though.”

“I’d like to know what everything feels like.”

You felt sick and yet never so alive, heart pulsing in your ears as you held the dark man’s hand, breathing slowed as you felt him drain your soul to fill his broken one.

You were ashamed to admit you've fallen for him. It’s not that you didn’t think he deserved to love, just that you knew he’d never repay you for yours. You loved too hard, forgave too much, and he wasn’t really worthy of that treatment. It was too dangerous for the both of you, a dull blade that never drew blood but always pressed against your neck.

He was terrified too. He didn’t mean to hold you so close; he couldn’t have known how warm you felt, not until you melted his icy exterior just to sizzle at his frozen soul. He didn’t want to hurt you, or at least that’s what he wanted to believe. You were just so precious. It was hard not to want to push your buttons every once in a while, just to check that you even had ones to press anyway.

“Suguru?” You turned your head to face him, watching as he did the same to you, eyes vibrating with a rush of adrenaline. You were his drug, and you knew it too, part of you feeling wrong for letting him indulge but dizzy by the constant need and adoration.

“Yes?”

“Why haven’t you kissed me?”

He squeezes your hand a little too tight, making you wince before he abruptly lets go. You drop your head to your lap, regretting your question as the room is filled with doubt.

He spent every day with you now, in private, of course, sneaking you into his room after hours and letting you stay much longer than necessary after his tea times. But he never pressed further than a caress, holding you tight but never actually touching you, like he was afraid of intimacy but even more afraid of being alone. It felt like a mind game. You weren’t so sure why he needed you so badly when all he took was your sanity and not touch, and how he seemed so content with that.

“I-” he sighs before going to recollect your hand, “I’m not sure, actually.”

It wasn’t relieving to hear, but it was better than what the voices in your mind were screaming, making you nod, eyes still focused on your knees. But it was a lie, blatant and obvious to him, but thankfully, it flew over your head. He wanted you, wanted you so bad it actually terrified him, and he knew if he got a taste, he wouldn’t be satisfied until he devoured you. He held himself back to protect you, but mostly himself, unaware if he could live with the thought of losing you. You were too precious to not spare, and he was too sinful to not indulge, yet he tried for you. He’d do anything for you.

“It’s just, and I thought people who liked each other kissed,” you meekly respond, keeping your eyes trained away from him as you feared the sight of rejection. He’d admitted to liking you, it’s not like he could explain the constant asking for visits without confessing otherwise, but he almost seemed upset when you said it back.

But he wasn’t, just afraid for you, afraid for himself. But, a kiss? It couldn’t hurt, he thought. One kiss couldn’t hurt.

“Come here,” he mumbles after a moment, pulling you off of your chair and onto his lap, faces close enough to brush as he continues, “You want to kiss me?”

“May I be blunt?”

“Of course.”

“You saw me touch myself to you and are asking me if I’d be interested in kissing you?”

There was no saying no to you; your eyes held no secrets, and yet his held infinite, he was always bound to give in. How couldn’t he?

He chuckles in response, making you crack a smile as he rests his head into the palm of his hand, “That’s true, isn’t it? Well then, Y/N, what do you want me to do to you?”

You sucked in a breath, locked into his mischievous grin as your mind swirled for something responsible to ask for, “I want you to feel good, and I want to be the cause of it.”

“How? Go on, use your words,” he narrows his eyes.

“In any way, you’d like,” your eyes drop to his lips, “I’d let you have me in any way you'd like.”

His hand cups your face harshly, squeezing your cheeks together as you let out a sudden gasp, his face twisted with a sense of rage you can’t seem to place.

“Don’t say that,” he whispers, loosening his hold as he feels your hand wrap around his wrist, “You don’t know what you’re asking for when you say that.”

You wish you could tell him you didn’t care, that you’d already been sweep under his curse and just wish he’d utilize you because of it, but it’d sound too pathetic. “Yes, I do.”

“No,” he drops his hand completely, using it to rub his temples as you huff impatiently, making him chuckle frustratingly, “You’re insane, you know that?”

“Oh?” You watch as his eyes meet yours again, feeling relief that they’re complete with a warmth of the fire he only kindles for you.

“You’d let me do anything I’d like to your pretty body? Let me defile your innocence, and for what reason?”

“Because I love you,” you let the words slip, let them skate an icy path down your tongue to click their heels and fall from your lips.

His eyes widen, his heart pausing to stop the pulsation in his body as it’s replaced by shock.

You frown slightly, afraid you’ve ruined the moment as he seems completely lost in your eyes but isn’t searching anymore, “I’m sorry-”

He cuts you off easily, his lips slamming into yours as he practically growls into your open mouth, hands racing to hold your pretty head in his grip as his kisses become more passionate.

“I love you,” his lips dive to your neck, sucking eagerly on the sensitive area of your pulse point, effectively marking you as his.

“I fucking love you,” he inhales your scent, and you arch your back as he delves into the valley of your breasts.

“Suguru,” you moan softly, a moan he recalls too well; it’s still fresh in his mind though it was months ago, “Please, take me.”

“Patience,” his head pops up, a sly grin as he takes in your disheveled and needy expression, you were already a mess for him, and he had just barely begun, “I want to take things slow with you, please don’t push me on this, you will get hurt otherwise.”

It should scare you, and you almost wish it did, but something about being broken seemed desirable if it were his hands to complete the task. “Okay,” you nod shyly, “I’m sorry I just feel like sometimes you don’t want me that way.”

“I do, and you’ll see that soon, but I want to take my time, okay? I want to make you feel good too,” he kisses your temple, letting you crash into his chest after he releases you.

“Okay,” you mumble into him, taking a fist full of the fabric of his robe as you nuzzle your face into him.

He can feel it happening already, your downfall. He can already see it occur as you cling to him so sweetly, so trustingly.

He can feel you lost in him, but he can’t save you; he’s been lost for years— it was up to fate now. Whether you swam or sunk, if you could handle everything that came along with being with him as more than a friend, if you could even call it that. You obviously knew he was damaged beyond repair, but that didn’t mean you knew what it felt like to sleep beside someone so corrupt, to dream beside a nightmare. It was up to fate now, and fate had a funny way of working.

“Shh,” Geto chuckles, pushing a finger to his lips to silence you as he continues to chase you through the hallway, the echoes of your delicate giggles bouncing off of the walls.

It was like this every day now, the two of you like children sneaking around in the night, reckless in nature but so precisely calculated in intent. You truly had fallen for him and slowly yet surely he allowed you to view just how badly he’d crashed for you. It was almost sick, how easily you kissed the lips that spewed hate and swallowed worse, but it just felt so… right. Everything felt right with him, you felt no shame in your actions as he gave you no reason to, it lit up a path of discovery for you and shut a path of torment for him. It was true, he’d become better since he’d finally gotten to feel you in his hands, all the angst pressure boiling in his blood being released with each curve of your smile in his mind. He still despised humans, sanitizing his body after each one even so dared to enter his presence, but it was much easier to exorcise their curses now.

“Come here you little minx,” he shout-whispered, only making you laugh harder as you turned the corner and picked up greater speed, “Catch me!”

You falter when the sound of his footsteps stop completely, turning your head slightly to find him seated on a curse and floating mid-air. Cheater.

“Suguru!” you gasp as he picks you up off of the ground and plants you onto his lap, letting the curse navigate itself as he gleams down at you, “Caught you.”

You’re glued to his expression, it’s one you’ve been grateful to see more lately, one of pure and raw happiness. You don’t even notice you’re outside until he breaks eye contact to look at the full moon, making you follow his gaze as you feel your skin illuminated by its overwhelming light.

“It’s beautiful,” you comment, looking around to find the city beneath your feet, alive and vibrant as you fade into the night.

“It’s ours,” he holds you tighter, letting your cheek rest against his beating chest as you cling your arms around his torso.

“The city? The city is not ours-”

“No, the night; the night, this night is ours. All nights will be ours from now on,” he mumbles, rubbing your back gently, “I don’t want to experience life by myself and I don’t want to share this view with anyone besides you.”

“Hmm, I think the airlines are not gonna be happy about that, Sugu,” you tease, letting his laughter warm your body in complete opposition to the gushes of cool air.

“Have you always been this snarky?” He presses a kiss into your hair, resting his chin into it as he waits for your response.

“Snarky? Yeah, I guess, why does it bother you?”

“No, it just reminds me of someone, that’s all,” he smiles to himself, making your head pop up in curiosity.

“Someone?”

“Yes, a very close friend, I’m sure you’ll meet him someday, though I’m afraid it could be my last,” but he doesn’t seem afraid by his own remark, and all you can feel are chills running down your spine.

“Well then, I hope I never meet him,” you huff, tugging him back close, and you refuse to push any further, the truth seeming too terrifying for your heart to handle.

He doesn’t reply, choosing to hold you back instead, letting you mend into him as he wonders if being able to love you was the world's wicked and twisted sense of revenge. He couldn't have you forever; he knew that. It was just a matter of time now.

“Satoru?” Your head snaps, following the voice of Suguru as he tugs your hand, “What a surprise.”

Your eyes settle on a tall and slim white-haired man, a prominent look of disappointment on his face as he lowers his dark sunglasses for a moment, not paying close attention to you as his striking blue eyes linger on Suguru’s grin. He must be thinking the same thought you were weeks ago when you first saw it too, how it was so genuine you had to do a double-take, not an ounce of hatred behind his now clear gaze.

“It’s not a surprise. I live here,” Satoru replies calmly, pushing his shades back up the bridge of his nose as he faces you, “Who’s this?”

“Someone I love deeply,” Suguru tightens his grip on your hand, making you stand up straight with a gulp, “Hi, I’m Y/N.”

Satoru ignores you and turns back to Suguru, “She’s human.”

“And?”

“Don’t you hate humans?”

You clench your jaw, teeth clamped down with anxiety until you hear the boastful sound of Suguru’s laugh, “I suppose you’re right, but there’s always an exception, isn’t that right, Satoru?”

“Well, then what makes her so special?”

You look down, avoiding the glares from both men as they continue their conversation, “Funny you ask, she kind of reminds me of you, in a more calmed down and elegant way, that is.”

“Of me? Is that even a good thing to you?” Satoru’s face remains stiff, but his mind is racing; it almost felt like he was talking to his old Suguru.

“We were best friends. Of course, it’s a good thing,” Suguru nods, making Satoru suck in a breath.

Your eyes widen. Was this friend the one that?-

“Until you murdered a whole village and your parents, Suguru, until you left us,” Satoru’s voice is strained as he tries to rationalize the impossible, shaking his head a few times before he lets out a short laugh, “You do remember doing those things, right?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And you know I still have to kill you for that, right?”

“I’m aware,” Suguru smiles, making your heart sink as you look back up, and he turns to you, “I’m okay, don’t worry, angel.”

“So you’re going to leave her too?” Satoru cocks an eyebrow, making you panic as everyone seems a little too calm for how things are escalating.

“It’s justice, isn’t it?” Suguru answers simply, letting go of your hand as you stumble back in shock, watching Satoru share the same look of confusion as he hesitantly holds up his hand.

“I don’t want to do this. I hope you know that, Suguru. I never wanted to do this,” Satoru takes his sunglasses off completely, your head throbbing as you rush in front of Suguru, letting an overwhelming rush of power surge your body as you feel your life flash in front of you.

“Y/N!” Suguru yells, but it’s too late. His eyes are drawn to your limp figure as it hits the ground, lifting them only to find shock and regret ridden on Satoru’s face.

No, no, no.

Suguru scrambles to come up with something to do, anything to do, “Call Shoko, Satoru, what the fuck are you waiting for!?”

“Suguru-”

“Fucking call her!”

But it’s too late, Suguru knows it, but he refuses to believe it’s true, grasping onto your frail body like he could hold your life back together, “Don’t you dare leave me now. I was supposed to free you, please, please, you can’t.”

But it’s too late, and Suguru finds himself drawing you in, cursing you as he shakes you in his arms. And it’s too late because now? Now you were just a ball of demise in his hands, a physical entity and embodiment of yourself but in the most deprecable of ways. You’re what he despises about humans, a curse, one that he’s created, and he can’t help but stare.

“Suguru, why did you?”

He swallows you whole, letting every memory you ever shared, every moment your life encased, completely disintegrate on his tongue. He’s filled with your presence, though the world screams of your absence, and all he can feel is alone. Alone, again. A world where you weren’t his, again. He doesn’t even remember his purpose anymore, was the world genuinely worth being saved if you no longer stood beside him to rejoice in its graces?

He raises back up to stand in front of Satoru, prepared to release whatever energy he has to fight a losing battle, but suddenly he chokes. He can’t breathe as suddenly all air is cut out, and all he can hear is, “Suguru, Suguru, please wake up!”

Suguru’s eyes swipe open, met with your concerned face as you continue to shake his body and squeeze his shoulders. You sigh when he stares back at you, crashing down into his body as he quickly wraps his arms around you, tears dripping down his cheeks as he tries to catch his breath. “You scared me. You were screaming,” you whisper softly, feeling his hands race up and down your body as he realizes you’re still alive and his dreams have become too vivid for his own sanity.

“I’m sorry, love,” he mumbles, voice coarse from his distress as you shake your head rapidly, “Hush, just let me hold you.”

He’s quiet for a moment, tugging your hips over his so your thighs straddle him, letting you lay entirely on him as he squeezes you into him. “I don’t ever want to let go,” he sighs, closing his eyes as he feels his world come back to him, “I’m sorry for thinking you’d ever be okay if I did.”

“What do you mean?” You sit up, hands on his cheeks as you cup his face delicately.

“I thought maybe you’d be better off without me, but you couldn’t be, could you? Not if you loved me even half of the amount of I love you.”

You tilt your head slightly, “What did you dream of?”

He hesitates for a moment but settles on just telling the truth, not wanting there to be any distance or secrets between the two of you, not anymore at least, “I dreamed that I turned myself in and died for your sake, except I never died, you did because you tried to stop me.”

“You thought dying would help me in any way?” You’re not judgemental, just curious as you stare down at him and watch him nod wordlessly, “I believe you must be insane then. I don’t think I could even fathom a world without you, Suguru. You are my world.”

“Doesn’t that scare you?” He raises a hand to tenderly brush your cheek, watching as you ease into his touch.

“No,” you shake your head lightly, “I’m not afraid of loving you. I’m just afraid of losing you. So don’t fucking die on me, please.”

“Is that a threat?” He raises an eyebrow, already visibly coming back to his usual self as his hands both lower to the round of your ass, giving a slight squeeze that makes you squeak.

“Maybe it is,” you smile as you lean down to peck his lips, letting him flip you onto your back as he towers over you, deepening the connection by sliding a hand under your back to press you up into him.

“Should I be scared, pretty girl?” His voice is full and robust, deep with sultry and a sense of want as he moves to suck gently at your jaw.

“Of what?” Your hands feel the rigid and tense muscles of his back, sliding up until they find a home in his hair.

“You won’t leave me either, will you?” His lips are distracting as they lower to your neck, his tongue drawing short stripes against your skin as you let out a shaky breath.

“Never, I promise, never.”

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