its not u, its me

“they’re delicious. have you ever had a cuban coffee? those alone will keep you up through the apocalypse.” she sighed, exiting out of the last screen she had open, now officially without anything to do. alex downed coffee like a cow drinks water. usually, when she wasn’t with a patient, she had an iced coffee in her hand. now, she was trying to bore herself into calming down. “ugh, my kingdom for a damn nap. i’d love to be asleep right now.”

          “i definitely have not. and i’m not sure i have the composition required for that. sounds like it would probably fuck me up.” he tilted the nearly empty cup in his hands, glad that he hadn’t tried anything quite that exotic. he was entirely unadventurous when it came to that kind of stuff. “just fifteen minutes. that’s all i want. or eight hours, if i could get it, but i’d settle for fifteen minutes.”

her   early   morning   procedure   had   been   pushed  back,   and   she    hadn’t   been   paged   to   the   ER    all   day,   which   was   a   bit   of   a   surprise.   slow   days  around  here  didn’t   come   often.   “   well   when   you   go   and   jinx   it   like   that   it   doesn’t   bode   well,   ”   she   says   with   the   raise   of   her   brow,   “   why’d   you   have   to   go   and   do   that   ?   ”

           “i know, i know. i’m sorry. i should learn to keep my mouth shut.” nate frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. he ducked his head sheepishly. “i just don’t like when it gets quiet, right? it freaks me out.”

𝙃𝙀  𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙉𝘿  𝙃𝙄𝙈𝙎𝙀𝙇𝙁  𝙉𝙊𝘿𝘿𝙄𝙉𝙂  𝘼𝙇𝙊𝙉𝙂.  having  shared  the  sentiment.  a  quiet  er  always  felt  more  ominous  than  anything  else.  plus,  he  HATED  sitting  around  the  nurse’s  station  doing  paperwork.      “ i  know  what  you  mean,  man.  it’s  like  the  calm  before  the  storm  and  we’re  all  just  waiting  around  for  something  to  come  sucker  punch  us  in  the  face. ”

          nate spun the nearly empty coffee cup in his hand, knowing he should be using the slow period to get ahead on some paperwork, but still unwilling to do it. he really hated the endlessness of the forms and files. he’d take a slammed day in the e.r. over the paperwork any day.  “i mean, hopefully not, but that’s kind of the vibe, right?”

“usually, i’d be inclined to disagree but there’s a new cuban coffee stand in the caf and they make cappuccinos — i had four.” alex didn’t look up from the screen as she tapped away at the keyboard at an almost alarming speed. usually on a slow day when she was working the er, she would be knocked out on a couch in the break room or in an on-call room. not today, apparently. instead, she was wide awake and working on inputting information. “what, you’re thinking it’s some calm before the storm shit?”

          “four cappuccinos?” though if there were any acceptable vice for medical personnel to have, caffeine was the one. nate honestly didn’t care much for the stuff, but he could down a couple of cups of black coffee in a pinch. he couldn’t really imagine willingly drinking four. but judging by alex’s intense typing speed, he could clearly see the effects. he just raised his eyebrows, trying not to smile. “nah, hopefully not. i personally have not had four cappuccinos, so i could really go for a nap about now.”

     —      victoria  had  a  bad  habit  of  biting  at  her  nails.  fingers  next  to  mouth,  she  nibbled  gently  as  she  reviewed  all  the  charts  in  front  of  her.  many  people  that  were  discharged  the  day  before,  but  it  seemed  that  no  one  knew  how  to  finish  a  chart  properly.  the  frustration  was  bubbling  in  her  chest  as  the  attending  spoke,  ❝  i  believe  one  would  say  you  just  jinxed  us,  doctor.  ❞  her  lips  spread  in  a  slight  smile,  making  the  last  change  on  the  current  chart  and  closing  it.  ❝  do  we  have  some  wood  you  could  go  knock  on?  i  think  someone  has  some  hidden  in  here.  ❞  a  joke,  something  to  get  the  doctor  to  think  of  anything  else,  as  she  scoot  back  in  the  chair  like  she  was  searching  under  the  desk.

           “damn. probably yeah.” he’d known before he said it that making his thoughts known out loud was not necessarily going to be appreciated, but sometimes he couldn’t help himself. he hated a room that had gone too quiet. nate scrunched his nose at victoria’s teasing, and he leaned across the desk to tap his knuckles against the back of her clipboard. probably not actually wood, but at least it wasn’t plastic. “it’s the thought that counts, right?”

whispers   of   a   quiet   emergency   room   quickly  erupted   across   the   surgical   ward   ,   leaving   the   interns   and   residents   visibly   restless.   deciding   to   give   the   vacancy   a   peak   ,   noelle   left   her   residents   with   unfinished   paperwork  and  sought  out   the   trauma   unit.   ‘   did   you   scare   off   all   the   patients   ,   nate?   ’   she   mirrors   his   focus   and   gives   a   nod   towards   the   emergency   room  enterance.   ‘   the   whole   floor   is   talking   about   the   silence.   ’   she   takes   a   seat   beside   him.   ‘  now   that   i’m  here  …  it  feels ….  eerie.   ’

          “i didn’t purposefully scare off anyone.” his fingers traced the lid of his cup. if he was perfectly honest with himself, he could admit that there was a possibility he had unintentionally turned someone off the emergency room. he could be imposing at times, especially when his strong and solid military demeanor came in. but he hoped that in most emergency situations, that simply came across as competence. he ducks his head at noelle with a shrug. “yeah, a little. things slow in neuro today too?”

        “slow days in the e.r. make me nervous.” nate sat back in his chair, staring at the nearly empty waiting room with a frown. no major entrances in over an hour, and nothing of much significance all day long. he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed a faster-paced day, especially because sitting around waiting tended to mean that something drastic was bound to happen eventually. he sipped at his coffee, gone cold hours ago.  “just doesn’t bode well, you know?”

@hqsgstarters​ || open

“Man, I just heard an intern called a nurse a princess.” He sucked his tongue against his teeth then laughed as he straddled the back of a rolling chair and settled his arms over the top. Pausing, he took a bite of the pudding cup he held aloft. “Ten to one says they chop him up and add him to the mystery meat for lunch tomorrow.”

          “oh, that’s cute.” nate looked up from where he’d been stabbing at the world’s most unimpressive salad and grinned, happy to have company for what was likely to be an incredibly short lunch break. “i love intern flavored meat. really brings out that taste of overwhelming anxiety and ignorance.”