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when hot people become ugly

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reverseracism

Exactly.

ulibeanzz

by all memes necessary

quinzel-isley

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.

mybeltruns

grandpa got game

parrotiny

i want to know what bears think sometimes

mediocrechick

parrotiny

morgluxia

doublesslightpeppa-deactivated2

ofools

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*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me

*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

archaeologysucks

When I was a very small child, my mom used to bury coins in my sandbox, leave huge boot prints in the sand, and tell me pirates had come in the night and buried treasure. I would be out there happily for hours, with my little sieve, and my mom got a quiet morning to herself for the price of a handful of pennies.

I was always kind of skeptical about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable. But the pirates only visited me, so they were probably real.

So that’s the story of how I ended up being an archaeologist. How about you?

stability

🙌🏽🙌🏽😍😍😩💦💦💦

trust-me-im-satan

when people start getting close to your friends

daylightt-deactivated20240214

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mulaneysbutt

i’m basically everyone in this

kingevangelista

I’m the juror singing along

blu-iv

What’s the context

alarmingpenguin

we don’t need any context

thisiscloisforever

I’m the crying juror

theotheryongbok

I’m the judge overruling the objection

orangeisthenew-jack

death-by-lulz

Raven’s dad was a hardcore sass-master.

pleasedontcutily

*house phone rings*

Me: no

banfred

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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hello2246164345-deact

“are you athletic” haha yeah i wear sports bras sometimes lmao

pyrexvisean-deactivated20181125

aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets

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