Start to finish, sad defeat.

sometimes I see posts like this and wonder what this post must be like for people who don’t play mtg. this joke must have an entirely different texture if you don’t know who this man is and what he has done to me personally

i can only assume he debated steven universe with you

what an excellent kaiju

Very polite, attempts to leave trees and fences intact. 10/10, would be invaded by again.

i’m just someone’s weird coworker

i cant even imagine the temptation of living near a hotspot for paranormal investigators. i would be out there EVERY NIGHT fucking with them. that aint a ghost that made you pee yourself its me, the lich of the woods. gonna lay little traps for ya. gonna shake your tent while you’re sleeping. gonna make spooky noises. walk around in the dark with a cloak and a deer skull mask. hack ur little radios and say fucked up scary stuff. it would occupy all my time and thats why i cant live near one of these places. it would be almost too much fun 

you might be thinking that i sound like a scooby doo villain but im not doing this for capitalistic reasons its just fucking hilarious. just for fun. just for the sheer chaos. 

Everyone on set for Children of the Corn thought the town was haunted because every able bodied human with half a sense of humor was running around at night letting the air out of tires, scattering anything they could pick up, and making all kinds of strange noises.

what is one line of poetry/writing that lives in ur head rent free please share i would like to know 

"I'm awaiting a lover. I have to be rent and pulled apart and live according to the demons and the imagination in me. I'm restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again." Anaïs Nin

SURVIVED ALL THAT RAW SEX JUS TO DIE FROM UNPROTECTED HANDSHAKES

this post is still hilarious