supermassive butt hole

I’M ONLY TRYING TO FUCKING HELP YOU SO FUCKING LISTEN!

"I learned at a very young age how fragile life is. When I was 15 years old I found out I had a brain tumor. The doctors said I had a very small chance that I could outlive it. The only alternative was to get on a long waiting list for open face surgery in hopes of removing it. I guess the first blessing happened on my 16th birthday, when the surgery was scheduled. I found out shortly after waking from the surgery that they went into the palette of the roof of my mouth instead of opening up my entire face. I guess you could say that was the second blessing. But the real blessing was that I overcame it completely and I survived something that most people never live through. I was close to death and I escaped it, and now I celebrate life because of it. 

write it on rice paper, shred it up, feed it to a newborn lamb, raise the lamb up, sacrifice it on a ritual alter while reciting the lyrics to “One Thing” by One Direction in the style of a Gregorian chant, spill the lamb’s remaining blood into the a chalice found at the fountain of youth, drink half, and spill the rest on his sleeping body on the night of a waning half moon.