seb

They said it couldn't be done: this gay guy is going to bed early

it's okay if you're not gay but at the least you should still be weird and hard to understand

Last night I dreamt I had to catch a rare golden cockroach for scientists and then naturally we went to a sex club to celebrate where a girl sat on my face but she complained the whole time and said “it’s like you’re thinking about cockroaches or something”

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

"sex" literally isn't real. "ohhh i just had sex" you "had" sex? where did it go? did it grow legs and run away?? idiot

[Showing you my camera roll] oh yeah heres me lost in the forbidden wood, afraid

its just crazy that christians love jail so much they invented jail for after you die

coworker was talking about how he doesnt believe in ufos because hes a good christian man who only believes in jesus christ and heaven and hell, forgot they believed in hell until he mentioned it thats so nuts

is that an uncapped marker in your pocket or is your penis just eagerly bleeding beautiful vibrant hues of ink through the fabric