DarkMichmo

Chris Redfield: Local man knifes way to victory

Jill Valentine: Local woman picks locks to victory

Barry Burton: Local man is made to look like the traitor until the last fucking minute, makes REALLY bad jokes

Joseph Frost: Local man feeds wild dogs own body

Brad Vickers: Local man fucks everything up but pulls through when it counts- Everyone is still pissed

Albert Wesker: Local man is a dirtbag, wears sunglasses at night, doesn't fucking die

Rebecca Chambers: Local woman is having worst day ever; loses gun, bug sprays superior, but kills giant plant

Aries: "I found something. It's a weapon. It's really powerful - especially against living things! Better take it with you."

Taurus: *to first zombie* "Hey you - stop! Run, Jill! He's insane!"

Gemini: "I HAVE THIS!!!!!"

Cancer: "A dining room?"

Leo: *drops rope* "Now I've done it! Sorry Jill, I'll go and get another rope!"

Virgo: "Yeah, you're right - but just take a look at this! It's Forest! OH MY GOD!"

Libra: "There must be a back door somewhere. Let's try to find IT first, shall we?"

Scorpio: "I'll just go and get some fresh air and BE EATEN by a monster."

Sagittarius: "That was too close! You were almost a Jill sandwich!"

Capricorn: *literally at any given moment* "What is it?"; "What IS it?!"; "What is this?"; "What the hell?"

Aquarius: *obnoxiously steps over giant dead snake* "Jill, have you found anything interesting?"