It’s been 14 years and I still don’t know my neighbor’s name

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#extradirty
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@darkimber
It’s been 14 years and I still don’t know my neighbor’s name

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Little girl teaching her cats how to draw a flower
(via)
they’re? just? sitting there ???
it makes it 100% better that i can’t understand her, i feel like i’m hearing what cats hear
Heh, she’s speaking Portuguese! Here’s what she’s saying:
*baby voice* “… and if you have any questions, just ask me! And now… yeah. And now you draw the roots. You draw them all twisted up! Got it? A flower? Now draw it. Did you get it, Luis Roberto? Did you get it, Jurandir? Look. Did you get it? That’s how you draw a flower.”
Luis Roberto and Jurandir are people names (Jurandir is especially a name associated with older men) so it’s extra funny that the cats are named that, heh.
180312 // Mental hygiene. Here are some tips to keep your mind cleand and positive that helped me a lot.
cats don’t understand what it means when you give them kisses ):
good news tho!! they understand it 2 a point (i was distraught about this post so i looked it up)
cats don’t kiss like humans but they do appreciate human touch and feel loved when u kiss and pet them
they don’t understand kisses but they accept them as forms of affection n love
ur cat knows u love them
You can also help them understand by mixing kisses with rubbing your cheek/nose/forehead over the top of their head, their cheek, or down their shoulders, just like cats rub against each other and humans to show affection. Also gently bonking foreheads to imitate the ‘I love you please pet me’ headbutt. Brushing & scratching at itchy spots for them imitates the grooming that cats who live together in colonies do for each other. Basically just try to find hygienic ways of imitating cat social behaviors, short of actual licking, lol.
My cat will touch her nose to mine & rub her cheek across my face, which allows me to plant a kiss on her cheek. When she’s sitting in my lap, she’ll tip her head back until I lean down and kiss or nuzzle the top of her head. I’ve even found her occasionally trying to imitate the “mwah!” sound of my kisses, where she’ll nuzzle my face and make little chirping “mah! mah!” sounds. Cats are pretty smart little social creatures; they’ll figure out how to speak your language, especially if you put in the effort to speak theirs.
don’t listen to this coward, grow up and lick your cat

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me in 70 years
how many elmos must die
101 elmos
cruelmo deville
Lisa who goes by the name @ostdrossel on Instagram has always been fascinated by nature and different bird types. So she came up with a brilliant idea: she uses a bird feeder cam, which consists of a camera box, a macro lens, and an attachable bird feeding platform. The camera is tiny and equipped with a motion sensor so that when a bird comes to eat, it photographs birds a non-intrusive way.
Photos by Ostdrossel ™
Via Sad and Useless
why is this so relatable
me @ myself: wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward bud
Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.
And now since I officially have permission to use this photo
GET FUCKED

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Guy recorded all the arm flops his cat made over the span of a year
(via)
I nose-breathed way too hard at this one
Round of applause for the real MVPs of Hyrule.
“Hands down, confidently after 26 years on the internet, this is the best thing I have ever found.”
(Source)
The Rescue Centres Night Watch Dog 💜
(Part of the Pitty and Gran wholesomeverse)
www.stutterhug.com
https://www.patreon.com/Stutterhug

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
seeing your friend’s art on your dash
I have finally found a perfect way to describe my gender and it is “the situation.”