darkholdfingerz

My blood relatives is my nightmare.

🧛‍♀️🫦🩸

I think that’s a very common adjustment one has to make when love leaves, especially if you have a more submissive personality (which R does). There’s always a period of time after a partner leaves where you really have to figure out what you want for yourself rather than what you want for your partner. It can be one of the most challenging parts of a breakup, and, in this case, I definitely think it would be the hardest part.

This post hit me hard... I’m afraid that when my first sapphic relationship ended, I felt like this for a very long time. Years.

After being with that woman, it suddenly felt like there was this huge emptiness inside me. It hurt so much because I learned a lot through that relationship; things I had never even expected from relationships in general. And when she left, those things were gone too. The absence of her was heartbreaking.

Repressing what once was and now just isn't.

That was when, little by little, I tried to build my own spaces again, rethink my tastes, my emotions. Figure out who I am outside of what I was in relation to that “other.”

Even if it was for the best, it was the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through. Losing the image I had of that love, understanding that with that person there was no longer a future where we would end up together.

I remember feeling so empty.