K N I G H T.

❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜

❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜

❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜

❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜

❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜

❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜

❛ When did you become so weak? ❜

❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜

❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜

❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜

❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜

❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜

❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜

❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜

❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜

❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜

❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜

❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜

❛ Now look – Now look what you made me do. ❜

❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜

❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜

❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜

❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜

❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜

❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜

❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜

❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜

❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜

❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜

❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜

❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜

❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜

❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜

❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜

❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜

❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜

❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜

❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜

❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜

❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜

❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜

❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜

❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜

❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜

                                 YOUR LOCAL DOG MOM  !

                                                     with a side of spicy secrets  ..

He is less a human shaped thing and more a pulsing, living band of light. Light that sometimes dims, that sometimes is thrust with a vein of darkness.

“I SMUGGLE, NOT SNUGGLE”