nobody really needs me.

This is me, finally saying goodbye and letting go. Letting go of the version of you that I still have in my head, because somewhere along the line I think the real you changed, as people do.

I’ve been thinking about buying myself a dream catcher. Maybe then you wouldn’t make your way to my dreams each night and I wouldn’t have to hate myself for having loved those dreams, because they’re the only place where we still talk, where I can actually talk to you.

I hate myself for hating how you now have new friends and how happy you seem to be with them. A part of me is glad that you’re well but the other part is crying for you to come back, because you’re still the one who I consider my favorite. Even though it’s been a few years since we talked no one has been able to replace you.

I know I should just move on, but it’s hard when each time we pass each other at school our eyes meet and I can’t help but think if you still remember all the things and moments that I do. I shouldn’t have confessed to you, I shouldn’t have scared you away like that. But then again, would that have changed anything? All these ifs are making me lose my mind. If I could go back in time I’d try to change it all. But I’d also not take you for granted.