let’s play house for a weekend. we can go grocery shopping like real couples. i’ll sit on the counter and watch you cook pasta and we’ll drink expensive wine out of plastic cups. we can wear invisible rings and talk about a future that will never exist. i like the way my first name sounds when it’s attached to your last. ill trace the veins on your arm while you kiss the freckle on my hip. you’ll say it’s your favorite. we’ll say we’re making love instead of just fucking. i’ll wash your hair in the shower if you help me fold my laundry. we can pretend we’re in love and afterwards we can go back to our real lives. the empty wine bottle and bruise on my lip that was made with love will be the only evidence that you existed in my world. there’s a certain kind of beauty and sadness in the ephemeral.

i wrote you down. you get to live forever now

beware of sun patches that come through windows at 3pm. they’re actually portals that’ll take you to your childhood home in the suburbs and it’ll be so warm and bright outside that everything will look hazy, almost like a dream. you’ll hear the cicadas again that you thought were forever lost to childhood and the laughter of your neighborhood friends and bike bells and even though you can’t seem to find a single person, it’ll feel like you never left. but you can’t stay here forever no matter how much nostalgia might trick you because no one’s home and the porch light is no longer on.

there’s a sort of magic to summers that are lost to childhood that can never be found again

i’m starting to forget the way you’d say my name and i can’t seem to map out the freckles on your face anymore but sometimes, if i’m lucky enough, you come back to me in dreams and we talk about nothing just like old times

welcome to the beyond. we’ve been waiting for you. your room is just how you left it. or would you rather be in the backseat of your mom’s car? we’ll set the year to december 2009 and play your favorite holiday songs on the radio as you both drive around looking at christmas lights. please note that this is a memory. we encourage you to enjoy the time you have. you can always revisit this moment, but you cannot live in a memory. would you like to forget? would you like to forget? would you like to forget? perhaps you’d rather lounge by the pond? the one filled with green algae, where the rocks you skipped in high school are buried. you can relive your first kiss. we’ve tried our best to recreate how it was. unfortunately, we cannot fully replicate his face, some things are simply lost to time. however, we can make the cicadas sing how they did that one summer. would you like to forget? would you like to forget? would you like to forget? maybe you rather share your room once more with your sister? you can appreciate it for what it is. you can share secrets once more and all your favorite barbies are here. they’ve been waiting for you two. please note, this is a memory. nothing you say now will change what has already been said. would you like to forget? would you like to forget? would you like to forget? or how about one more evening sitting on their balcony overlooking the cars on the highway? they’ll be your best friend once more. the smoke will sting your eyes and your ribs will hurt from laughing just like they used to in the before. unfortunately, once this memory is over, you will no longer be able to recall the conversation or their face. just the pain from the laughter and the lingering smell of smoke and summer air. would you like to forget? would you like to forget? would you like to go home?

computer, how do i stop living in the past? computer, how do i stop missing everyone ive ever loved? computer, how can i live in the present without grieving it already? computer, how to tell the difference between desiderium and nostalgia? computer, how can i erase my memories forever?

hang in there girl! new phoebe dropping soon! your walks will be cinematic once again!!

welcome to the beyond. we’ve been waiting for you. your room is just how you left it. or would you rather be in the backseat of your mom’s car? we’ll set the year to december 2009 and play your favorite holiday songs on the radio as you both drive around looking at christmas lights. please note that this is a memory. we encourage you to enjoy the time you have. you can always revisit this moment, but you cannot live in a memory. would you like to forget? would you like to forget? would you like to forget? perhaps you’d rather lounge by the pond? the one filled with green algae, where the rocks you skipped in high school are buried. you can relive your first kiss. we’ve tried our best to recreate how it was. unfortunately, we cannot fully replicate his face, some things are simply lost to time. however, we can make the cicadas sing how they did that one summer. would you like to forget? would you like to forget? would you like to forget? maybe you rather share your room once more with your sister? you can appreciate it for what it is. you can share secrets once more and all your favorite barbies are here. they’ve been waiting for you two. please note, this is a memory. nothing you say now will change what has already been said. would you like to forget? would you like to forget? would you like to forget? or how about one more evening sitting on their balcony overlooking the cars on the highway? they’ll be your best friend once more. the smoke will sting your eyes and your ribs will hurt from laughing just like they used to in the before. unfortunately, once this memory is over, you will no longer be able to recall the conversation or their face. just the pain from the laughter and the lingering smell of smoke and summer air. would you like to forget? would you like to forget? would you like to go home?