oh, devil

Aha. The words of a coward.

And what of the fishnets and heavy makeup? Did sixteen year old you include those as well?

That’s a place to start. Go get yourself a leather jacket and cut some holes in it. Then we can work on a cooler sword.

Get a cooler sword, Teddy. What will the internet dwellers think of you with that kind of backstory?

Now we’re talking. I’m equipped with Security-Guard-Be-Gone in the form of my massive sword, so I’m ready to walk right into any fancy corporation and make them regret hoarding so much money. To make things a little more interesting, I won’t use my teleportation powers at all. We’ll give them a head start and chance to run.

Isn’t that the basics of blackmailing. First, you recruit them to your team of misfits, making them lower their guard, as they will be under the impression that the two of you have a connection. And then you exploit their greatest fears to get what you want. The magician part is just for fun. Why bother doing anything if you’re not going to make a show out of petty theft by claiming it’s a magic act?

An excellent idea, actually. It’s always interesting to experience what other people perceive as magic. If you catch me in the right mood, I might even show you how to juggle cards that are on fire.

Funny. You think that any version of me would allow you to confront them?