The Boy Wonder

I talk about my intrusive and paraphilic thoughts and I don't censor them, the tag is #🦇 B posting if you really want to block them. This is your warning, I am an auto and fictional pedophile, I do talk about it. Minors, please don't interact, this isn't for you. My other tag #🦇 for W, is specifically for my dormant friend.

I am not diagnosed, but I do believe I am disordered. This is my therapy blog where I can safely talk about my thoughts. If you have any advice (other than suppressing the thoughts) please share.

Anons are off because I know how some people can be to people like me, but if you ask I will crop out your username! I also will not answer questions, I do not know nearly enough to answer questions about this (I can answer questions about MADIR however).

If I say anything along the lines of "I hope" "I wish" "I want" it is simply me expressing my paraphilic desires in an imaginatory way, and it is not something I actually want. I do not condone actually giving into your desires if it has the potential to hurt yourself or someone else, expressing my desires through speculation and imagination are the only ways I have learned that actually helps calm the thoughts down.

The main ones (plural he/him) little sibling was having friends over, and their best friend has always been a close family friend, so when she's over the main ones will hang out with the two of them. However this time they also had another friend over, we've never met this kid before, he was new to us, but oh well. We were all watching movies when the new boy started leaning on us. Obviously, this is not okay. I was immediately triggered to front, and the main one immediately started panicking. The main one switched with the second main one, and we immediately got out of there.

I am a pedophile, but I am an autopedophile and fictional MAP, I am not attracted to real kids. But the thought of me being triggered due to a real kid leaning on us is extremely concerning to us, more specifically the first main one and me. When I was alone with the second main one, I panicked. I am barely okay with my paraphilias as is, and the thought that it could extend to real people other than myself, hurts physically. But I have to learn that my thoughts, or even in this case me just being present, don't hurt anyone. The important thing that matters is that instead of advancing, I immediately got out of that situation.

Wowee an ask already!

MADIR doesn't have a stance on profiction. It is for anyone who is anti-contact pro-therapy.

I did not want to make an official coining post or anything, since I did not want this page to get any attention. But as MADIR is being spread, I do think I should clear some things up

First, thank you @rq-critical-coining-n-stuff @ex-radqueer-confessions @carnoguron and @youthparapride for sharing my term.

If you do not know, MADIR is an acronym for the attractions of the big 5 paraphilias, it stands for Minor, Animal, Dead, Incest, Rape. It is only to be used by those who are anti-contact and pro-therapy. It was made as an alternative term to "big 3/5", and "harmful paraphilias", and to distinguish paraphiles from predators.

I chose not to use recovery on purpose as that implies you can "recover" or get rid of your paraphilia, which from my knowledge is impossible. However getting therapy is possible, and is recommended for those who can access it*. Edit: You are allowed to say it is a pro-recovery label, that's just not how I, personally, view it.

I also chose anti-contact on purpose, as anti-contact, from what I am aware, is anti-harmful contact. There's a lot of discourse on if consang and pre-death consent is harmful or not, and I do not want to get into that drama, I am not a drama blog just a therapy blog, so you decide if it's harmful or not. I am not educated on this topic. I am making that very clear that this is something I do not know about.

Shelix** also brought it to my attention that non-MADIR paraphiles also want to use MADIR because of its anti-contact pro-therapy stance, so MADIR+ is also a term that's being used.

I had many reasons to coin this, most notably in my coining post it was because "big 3/5" was too much of a mouthful. But there were other reasons for this as well. I always hated the term "harmful paraphile", it implied that thoughts = action, and that despite not ever hurting anyone, I was inherently a threat to everyone. This led to a lot of mental pain, but that's besides the point. It was also to make a distinction between paraphiles and predators. Pedophiles for example CAN be predators, MADIR pedophiles can not.

So to be clear, pro-contact MADIRs do not exist, they are sexual predators. If you are pro-contact you are not MADIR, I cannot stop you from using the term, but you are not welcome.

While you are not allowed to interact with me (I am putting that away for this post, and this post ONLY), minors***, doubles, source mates, and radqueers**** ARE allowed to use my term.

*Acessing therapy: Not everybody can access therapy, do not shame those who can't. This term can absolutely be used by paraphiles who cannot access therapy, as I am one of them. This also goes for paraphiles who do not need therapy, you are allowed to use this. Therapy in this case does not mean conversion therapy, I do not support conversion therapy.

**Shelix: I do not care if you like hym or not, again this is not a drama blog. Also to be very clear, it did not break my DNI. I broke my DNI so I could correct hym on what MADIR is, since it's being used in the radnormal coining post.

***Minors: I do not support minors in kink, or minors in sexual spaces at all. But there are many minors who do have paraphilias and I am not going to tell them they cannot use a term that describes them. But if you are a paraphile minor, I do encourage you to be very safe about who knows.

****Radqueers: Again I do not care if you like them or not, again again this is not a drama blog!

(Proof of me coining the term)

Postscript: I do not talk about MADIR discourse on this blog, do not follow me for that. This is a therapy blog where I safely talk about my paraphilic thoughts. I will answer questions about MADIR, but I cannot answer questions about my own condition as I am not educated. Again, if you do not feel comfortable with seing an autopedophile talk about their thoughts, do not follow this blog.

This post was created because of no recent events, none, I did NOT throw up 6 times today, and I am NOT giving myself a headache by typing this.

I was also talking to a friend when she said something about the fictional animals shes attracted to are of sapien sentience and can consent. While I know fictional characters are fictional, it still didn't make me feel any less guilty knowing if they were real they couldn't consent.

I also have no reason to be so stressed about it. Its not like purity was pushed onto me, I didn't grow up overly religious. I had no reason to think sex was icky and gross until I was assaulted. Maybe before then it was just because hormones hadn't done the hormone thing yet. Like there was no reason for me to suppress it until, basically now.