Abyss.

Brain fog is not an adequate descriptor, actually. Fog can be kinda nice and beautiful and ethereal and refreshing. The thing we’re describing is more like a brain BOG; everything moves slow like you’re wading through water, it’s clunky and heavy and you keep getting stuck in the mud. It’s uncomfortable and inconvenient and everything takes so much effort. You lost a shoe, probably.

this and my dissociation gets so badd

There is no future for me because there is no hope. I am falling deeper into the hole and I am not getting out again.

Sometimes I imagine myself alone in my bedroom with no one around, completely dark, laying in bed and overdosing on sleeping pills, then gently falling asleep forever. My body going limp and cold as my heart slows down and eventually stops, and just feeling at peace.

𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰...𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

me 🤝 telling people ‘i’m good’ when i’m having a bad breakdown bc i know they won’t really care and me and my feelings are an inconvenience anyway

After 10 years I still struggle to take tablets and if I do have to, I can't use juice to wash them down cause it floods my memory to when I attempted the first time