darcy.

“Sounds good to me. –You’re definitely starting to show. Can’t believe how fast time is flying.”

“Sure is. I’m just glad not to be throwing up anymore.” 

“–Sure, that’d be great. We can grab dinner or something and go see a movie. Or grab dinner and meet at your place.”

“And… well, you know I loved you. Even followed you to that big ole city up there. –You need to stop doing that. I don’t need you to apologize, Darcy. I’ve never been upset with you or blamed you for anything. So you have nothing to apologize for.”

“Yeah.”

“I... Um... For the record, I really loved you. And I’m sorry for hurting you so badly. That’s the only thing I wish I could change.”

“You left because your mom passed away and you had a lot going on. I don’t blame you for leaving at all. Was I devastated when you left? Absolutely. But look at us. We’re here, we’re friends, we’re having a baby. We’re fine. –I won’t. I wish you wouldn’t cry, but I get it.”

“Yeah, but we could have been a lot more.”

“And I figured you didn’t feel the way I did. That it was just us sleeping together. You had a lot going on with your mom, I didn’t want to add to it. –You don’t have to apologize, Darcy.”

“No... I do. All of this was my fault because I left and I messed you up and now all of this is messed up... --And don’t tell me not to cry. I’m pregnant and I need to feel my feelings.”

“I don’t really think I did, Darce. All I really know was how I felt about you, despite us saying we were just sleeping with each other. –I’m not asking you to explain yourself. I’m not holding it against you. I’m just telling you what I saw, and maybe I knew deep down that you’d never go back to him, but in that moment, I couldn’t wrap my head around anything else except that you were in New York, you were with him, and you were back with him. So it didn’t really matter how I felt.”

“We were a lot more than just sleeping together. We both know that and I thought... I figured we both just picked up on how the other felt. I was wrong to do that. --I can’t go back and undo it, but I wish I had. I wish you hadn’t seen any of that. I--I’m sorry, Atticus. How you felt mattered. It did.”

“–It’s been a while, but… Pretty sure you were hugging. So… y’know. My mind obviously goes to ‘she went back to him’, so I just… left without saying anything. What could I say, y’know? He’s your husband.”

“But you know... You knew how I felt about you. A hug is a hug. I hug Dallas. I don’t need to explain myself out of giving my ex-husband a friendly hug goodbye, but... How could you have just assumed I went back to him when you knew how I felt? Everyone knew.”

“I’m surprised Dallas didn’t tell you. –But yeah, I went.”

“He never said a word... I had no idea... How... How did you see us?”

“–I didn’t know she was your cousin, Darcy. And… I went to New York to convince you to come back home. And you were with him. With your husband. So it’s not like I just jumped from sleeping with you to… being with someone else like it was nothing. It took months to get over you.”

“...I didn’t know you went to New York, Atticus.” 

“—-I mean… yeah. I didn’t want you to go. But you did, and I was pretty messed up after.”

“...You were? ...Then why... Why did you start dating my cousin?”

“–Oh….. Well. I wish you had stayed too.”

“--What? Really?”

“Har har har. You’re hilarious. –Meaning… everything that happened and hurting Luce. Because I regret that too. Hurting her. Hurting both of you.”

“Well, yeah... But, no. I... I guess, I mean... I regret not staying. I regret going back to New York to end things with my husband rather than just doing it here... Since... I was going to end up here anyways.”

“I will neither confirm nor deny. –A couple things? I’m glad to hear that, though. I don’t regret it either. Well… most of it.”

“You’ve done anything but. Ha! Get it? Butt. --Yeah, there was some miscommunication I would have liked to clear up. But I wouldn’t change what’s happening.”

“—It’s possible. I’d be watching you taking steps, after all. Make sure you don’t step wrong or anythin’. –So you don’t regret nothing? How it happened. That it did happen at all?”

“Steps are feet. A butt is a butt. You’d definitely be lookin’ at it. --Nope, not a thing. Well, maybe a couple things, but not that I’m pregnant.” 

“I don’t know. I just don’t see myself getting bored. I’d be focused on making sure you don’t fall on your butt. –You’re right. But it was unexpected, and I do feel I have to make up for that.”

“Or you’d be watching my butt.” --Unexpected or not, it’s not something you need to make up for. You’re not obligated to make up for anything and I won’t accept pity or remorse.” 

“My momma will be glad to hear that. I suppose i can keep a book with me, but I doubt I’d get bored. –Yeah? How so?”

“Why wouldn’t you get bored? --I don’t know. I’m excited --I don’t feel like it’s something you have to make up for. We’re bringing a tiny little life into this world. Isn’t that reward enough?”