William Darcy @darcythehipster - Tumblr Blog

MESSAGES HE NEVER RECEIVED | After the wedding. (1/8)

I recently had the absolute pleasure of meeting Bing Lee’s friend and house-guest, William Darcy. Absolute… isn’t the right word… it was more of a grotesque-nauseating-run-the-other-way-as-if-your-life-depended-on-it pleasure. Darcy is so obnoxious I can’t tell if I like Bing Lee now or if he just seems awesome by comparison. Darcy’s boring, stuffy, unbelievably rude. He thinks he’s too good for us “common folks”. […] I can’t properly express what an infuriating douchebag this guy is.

― Lizzie Bennet, episode 6 (Snobby Mr. Douchey).

About the series: so I was mindlessly going through ModCloth a few days ago, and I came accross those notepads. I started wondering what Lizzie would write on them if addressed to Darcy at different points of their acquaintance, and this series was born.

Note: the notepads can be found here, and Tanzila forced me to post some fanfiction-y short oneshots that you can read here once the entire series is posted here. Or not. It’s up to you. The crossed inscription at the bottom says ‘But you’re □ my □ somebody’s douchebag’.

darcythehipster

Lizzie saw this over my shoulder and laughed at the accuracy.

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oldsongbird-deactivated20200819

Also, I didn’t know whether or not she wanted DVG to BE the Emmy or be the Emmy while HOLDING the Emmy so….. yeah….

darcythehipster

This is the first thing I see upon returning to you all. It seems I can never be disappointed by your creativity.

#decent-enough #stupidfacemcnerdburger

getsawaycar

‘I haven’t even heard from Gigi, which is odd! She has historically not been shy about throwing her brother and me together.’

itsgonnabeathing

I. MET. LIZZIE.

darcythehipster

I remember you.

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tigerstarmoved-blog-blog

what if you microwaved something for 30 YEARS

darcythehipster

While I admire your curiosity and vision, Jamie, I am afraid I must be the one to tell you that microwaving any household object for 30 years is simply not a wise action.

‘Stubborn Love’ by The Lumineers To a friend I have made recently, whose resiliency I admire greatly. Keep your head up.

#thisismyjam

flowyjoey-deactivated20160501

Darcy’s makeover. Thanks to Rimmel London.

darcythehipster

Let's hope neither Fitz nor Gigi finds this

illuminatingpemberley

As requested.

darcythehipster

Well then.

cosimaes

darcythehipster

The ladies?

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‘The First Day Of My Life’ by Bright Eyes is my new jam.

#thisismyjam

stupidfacemcnerdburger replied to your photo

*cough* august 10 might be a cool date to remember or something idk *cough*

Of course.

#stupidfacemcnerdburger

#mamaleh6994 #I apologize for my poor handwriting #Perhaps I could write you a proper letter some time

‘I'll Be There’ by Brighten is my new jam.

#thisismyjam

precocioustween

I’m my favourite person but I’m also my least favourite person y’know

#Some day this will change #Especially the first part #It has for me

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aspontaneousdelight

I am seriously enjoying the idea that the more Darcy watches Gigi’s videos the more he has to be restrained from swooping into Sanditon like some sort of angry, suspenders-clad avenging angel to tell all these morons to STOP BEING MEAN TO HIS SISTER DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT AN OPPORTUNITY THIS IS NOBODY HANGS UP ON GIGI DARCY AND LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT.

shiningsobrightly

Haha. He must certainly not be happy with how things are going, not just regarding the treatment of his sister (especially by the mayor), but also because of the waste of resources of his company.

itsnotliketherearehillshere

Also, the way the Mayor was like “I don’t know how you do things at Pemberley Digital…” acting all offended?. I can totally see Darcy being like Oh, you wanna know how we do things at Pemberley Digital?. I’ll show you how we do things at Pemberley Digital, motherfucker xD

Because, seriously, nobody talks to Gigi Darcy, Media Empire Princess like that without getting her brother fired up (and I wouldn’t get her brother fired up, he’s a big dude, he could cause damage LMAO)

shiningsobrightly

Hahah yes! I thought the same. If Tom Parker doesn’t know how things are done at Pemberley Digital, I’m sure the CEO WIlliam Darcy would be glad to show him. After all, Lizzie once said to Caroline that PD was doing pretty well so yeah.

Oh god, now I just thought of an hilarious scenario that will never happen. Imagine a 3-way Domino call with the Mayor and Darcy. I would probably cry with laughter. But that ain’t gonna happen so let’s forget about it.

mamaleh6994

m'immerger dans les profondeurs des mers: itsnotliketherearehillshere: allinablur:...

darcythehipster

I must admit I've been considering making a phone call, and you are all making it very tempting.

I think I'll add it to my agenda for tomorrow.

#I never stray from the agenda

shiningsobrightly

Kelsey’s post’s just reminded me that I have here on my list of edits to make one that says: “William Darcy + sense of humour”. Hehe.

itsnotliketherearehillshere

I was going to add another gif to that, but the one you already used perfectly describes my feelings.

Anything bb angel cupcake related makes me happy (unless it’s sad, then it makes me cry xD) so GO AHEAD!

shiningsobrightly

Don’t worry, I will! I just can’t make everything at the time and all at once. But it’s here in my list. Still wondering if I’ll include a couple of tweets too. I’m still (never) over that one: “you could have a pleasant conversation with a traffic cone.” Hahaha.

darcythehipster

I am looking forward to this.

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