not the bunfungus

And then you arrive on a new Realm as the pirates. Part of a red faction whose entire mission is to have a kill each week and it can't be just a simple thing, it needs to be special and creative. Entire fate of your faction is already sealed, you didn't get a choice to be part of it and neither will you get a choice to depart. The faction exists in order for the other three factions to unite and fight against you.

Immediately greeted with hostility by the yellow you soon realise it's just you and one other person who will have to take that task of killing on your shoulder. That other person isn't up for killing but you want to survive so you go to the cathedral to make a deal with the devil himself. A deal with death to help you survive by killing, his goals align with something you need and that is the start of your path down into chaos.

With the help of this demon you survive each week. He gives you knowledge, gear and trains you to become stronger.

Ironic how death itself is willing to help you survive and cause more deaths of others. But he is still your saviour at the end of the day.

Then comes the first day of week of reckoning where you have to get a kill or your entire faction loses one life. Out of nowhere the Noble king of Yellow asks you to take his final life. A sacrifice of a Monarch to Red faction

You don't view Monarchy in high regard thanks to your past experiences and because you have seen the people working under a ruler be exploited. The first day of Yellow harassing also didn't help that view change but then suddenly the King itself sacrifices his life……that was a moment that changed Mocha’s view about the Foolish. He still disliked Yellow but not the King. He wasn't fond of monarchies and Kings but the totem god of life changed that view a little for sure.

And it was also Mocha's first kill that was the begining of his eyes turning red and his path down to more bloodshed on his hands.

Later down the line Foolish is also one of the people who even wanted to figure out some sort of way to help the Red faction but it did not work out because the kill needed to be intentional. But the King did understand that red needed to be killers to survive even if others in his faction didn't and called Mocha a serial killer as if a part of it wasn't just for surviving.

And then comes a moment where this immortal cursed being starts challenging a certain Clown. Their are so many reasons to picking a fight against this Clown maybe it's to prove something to him, maybe it is about taking that revenge of day 1 or maybe it about proving you are strong and want to be respected. Either way you already know the outcome of this fight you pick and you know you are gonna die but being a Immortal death is the last thing you care or are scared about.

Even before the fight happens you are more worried about being made fun of rather than dying and losing everything you have worked hard for. You also know after dying you won't come back.

It becomes painfully obvious this being seeks death. You walk into that fight fully knowing you are gonna lose, your allies don't want to lose you, you know your faction is gonna die without you and you know there's nothing to gain in this fight and only losses for you.

SELFISH OF YOU, that's the best way to put it

But was it selfish of you when you pushed a Pangolin away because you cared about him and didn't want him to get hurt because you knew your own actions could cause harm to this other person. You would rather see him feel the hurt of you pushing him away then seeing him get hurt because of you. Is that selfish?

SELFISH but hasn't this life been selfish to you since day 1?

Not given a choice to be part of something,

Harassed by Yellow when you hadn't even done anything,

You didn't get to leave that faction even if you wanted to,

Had to pick up that mantle of faction weekly task,

You never got help from the faction mates when you were working hard to keep them alive,

Carrying blood on your hands and making your faction survive when most of them didn't even appreciate it,

People who were never invited to watch the fight forcing you to arrive early when the fight wasn't even something they were ever part of,

No one other then your faction worrying that without you the everyone in red would die,

Your entire living is selfish thanks to this immortality of yours which you wanna escape from…

So no seeking death isn't selfish when your entire existence and life on this Realm has been selfish and doomed since the start (The Keepers called red faction a mistake)

This walk to death, This dance with Clown was the one thing Mocha himself wanted, One thing that was about himself , The one time where the worry about his faction and others didn't matter and he did work hard to get this fight (even using Ros to instigate Clown) and prepared day and night for this [quite literally ccPili doing potions even in fever and Christmas and alot less sleep lmao] just so he could prove he was strong and give Clown a fight he remembers and prove he is worthy opponent..

A part of it was to gain respect but there were two people who did give that to him and believed in him until the very end.

Selfish of you to walk in a fight that is making you lose everything, selfish of you to pick up the mantle of red when nobody else did and selfish to try and survive and finish weekly faction tasks just like every other faction does but unlike others you are named the "Serial Killer” when other then killing Ros all your kills were for faction or instigated by other first (aka Tubbo fight near the king's bridge)

"I owe everything to you Bad" - Mocha

You would have not survived even the first week if it wasn't for this deathly being. Ironic how this devilish angel of death saved you and helped you in causing deaths (maybe it was to help you or maybe it also aligned with something he also wanted or a mix of both). Either way this other ancient immortal being was your saviour, and someone who was a mentor and close friend and family. He was the strong figure in Mocha's life who he trusted was strong enough and didn't push him away.

He was the strong pillar in Mocha's life who he owed everything to, ironic how death itself being a saviour to him. Bad gained nothing out of helping Mocha but he still did it that and yes it did also work to his advantage.

Mocha did want to live and was constantly worried about faction tasks until they were finished. He did care about surviving, even clinged to his last life for a very long time. Until he started seeking death and became more and more obsessive and chaotic.

When Mocha seeked death and all this while Death had been standing right by his side since the very beginning, helping him, protecting him and even stood next to Mocha and walked to the nether arena with him, giving him instructions the whole while he was getting closer and closer to getting lost forever.

And after the fight was over and Mocha was gone he wished he had prepared him more and checked his inventory before the fight.

"Pili and Pangi are like my family"

"Pili i am so proud of you”

"Your life was worth 7 lifes"

- Tr!Bad

"Bad and Pangi were my closest allies and like a family to me" - Mocha

And then comes the journey of Realms Eternal Crying Cat:-

You are a mayor of a snow town and was kidnapped from your home to this very different place you know nothing about and among these strangers who are calling you by your name and look at you like they know you and accuse you of things like amnesia when you are perfectly fine and have all your memories.

"Pili you should be less harsh with your words" WHY? Strangers telling you to be less harsh when you are simply just denying that you are not related in any way to the old cat they knew. There is no lie in that statement.

A certain someone telling you to be friends with him immediately and a certain someone else telling you that "you are not my Pili" and all this while your only goal is to find a way back home and not form attachments and they get annoyed when you simply just follow those two things. Others don't understand you so why do they expect the same?

And then there is this Totem god of life who immediately accepted you as a different and separate being from the old cat that once walked this Realm. He treats you kindly and does not use harsh names like Pili 1 and Pili 2. He is also the only person who doesn't relate you in any way shape or form to Mocha. It's almost as if he understands how life works. You are Pili 5 apples tall (a name Foolish gave him when they met on the day of end fight on the king's bridge)

You make a white room to test who you can trust on the Realm. There are simply two rules-you are only allowed to enter the room with no armour or weapons. The Totem walks without thinking twice.

(The paranoid angelic demon thinks twice before deciding but he also enters the white room in the end.)

And then the King does something no one else has seemingly even done and tried doing, HELPING YOU FIND A WAY BACK HOME.

The god of life calls the keepers to find a way back to your snowy town and even though it results in a bit of disappointment, that is still the most far someone has gone out to help you achieve that goal of going back home for you.

And the next couple of moments later you see him die in front of your very eyes, this is not only your first death you witnessed on the Realm but you also are not able to help stop it. You are dissociating in the white room and dealing with all other chaos happening and then you are killed. And then you kills yourself again through a beautiful purple crystal.

You decide to go to this Totem King and offer him your last life. You add with it an offer to join yellow and give your life because you know Mocha in the past had taken his life so you want to give him yours in return. He refuses saying you don't need to pay back for anything that part version of you did because you are different and also refuses to do it for any other reason unless you are simply looking for a reset. You agree and let him take your life.

You like your death to be a special occasion and only give others the pleasure of killing you when it's a special occasion or they are a special person to you. Foolish was the only one who did understand your need to be looked at as your own person and he gave you exactly that from day 1 on the end fight.

And then the god of life disagrees with everyone else who is still very untrusting of you and fully believes you are a different person from old Mocha. He even goes against words of his royal architect and smith father who are both a little untrusting of you due to Mocha's actions in the past. The King makes a decision as the ruler and you become part of his faction. He gives you a CHANCE to see where this decision of his will lead.

“its like having a family again”

“king I am gonna make sure I never let you down and will make you proud” - Pili

“I think I would like to give Pili 5 apples tall a chance a home. Since coming back he has been purple and been basically told by everyone- "I hate you, i liked the old Pili more" and you know its kind of been a lonely world out there for him. So I just think it would be nice to give him a chance and I would still like to prove that this is not the same Pili, this a completely different Pili and any actions of the different Pili should not be held against this Pili” - Foolish

He knows it can be risky but he still wishes to see where your addition to the kingdom will lead before harbouring any doubts towards you. Willing to always take a gamble this king and see where it will lead (a commen immortal trait to have)

You talk with King every time he is around. He gives you good advice- tells you to get strong but also be in control, to try and stop the cycle of back and forth you have got going on (Foolish was also one of the reason Pili simply handed Pedro back to Pangi) and has always got your back.

You trust him and he is the first person you confide in once the words of others about you having corruption and being the Mocha start getting to you (said by Beky and Pangi to Pili, at first he ignored it but later it did start getting to him)

The king simply tells you to stop believing in what others say about you to let those people “Royally fuck off”

You trust him with all of your secrets and thoughts. You are as transparent as you can be to him and promise to be loyal and fully mean those words (Foolish was the only person who knew entire truth about how the conflict between Pili and Pangi went. Pili confessed everything to him without leaving out any details or being biased in his words)

“you are one of the only people I trust in this place” - Pili

Over time you try your best to be helpful to the kingdom. You want to grow strong for them. From collecting flowers for the royal architect to being honest about everything with the King to also being there when Sneeg reached nirvana and helping him with the potions in the end. You contribute as much as you can.

The kingdom members also start trusting you from Ros protecting you when you felt unsafe in the throne room to Sneeg coming to help out when green stormed the castle or when you were unfairly murdered for no reason even though you didn't want the death to happen.

Soon even Ros starts opening up to you, talking about her feelings towards green and it seems like you are starting to get along with everyone in the kingdom.

“I feel like I have found a family”

“I am on the right side of history for once”

- Pili

A stage of Pili reconsidering if he should leave yellow so his conflict with Pangi wouldn't affect the kingdom also comes. He is happy in the Kingdom and likes being part of it but also doens't want anyone from Kingdom to suffer the consequences if his actions. That one classic move he is known to do, pushing people away so they wouldn't suffer because of him (this straight of his character both stems from being attachment avoidant and definitely has some undertones of being a independent individual).

And then comes the Royal Ball 2, an event that is supposed to be entirely to fix Ros’s time sickness. You, the King and Ros spend alot of time building for it and finally after hours finish all the work.

Then you accidentally die a hour before the party begins but Ros trades her time for you to come back and attend the event. Same Ros who once doubted you joining yellow and was not the most happy with that decision of the king.

And when you are having the best day ever you are killed in the middle of the room and the consequences of that are felt by the entire faction. Sneeg starts hunting down your murderer (maybe it's because a rule is broken but he is also frustrated it's always you getting killed over and over again) and Ros is caught in the crossfire.

The King asks the Keepers to trade two of his lives, one for the heart of yellow, the Royal architect Roscumber and another for you, Sir Pili of DTown. A life for PILI!

For Ros its expected since she was a lot high level player and Foolish finds giving one of his lifes to her so she could survive much more important but Pili...he doesn't need to do that for him since he was reset and at 0 already...but he still asks the keepers to do it. But sadly it doens't go his way.

“Pili has been one of the loyalest member of our kingdom” - Foolish

“After I showed up here Foolish is literally the only person who treats me with kindness and still defends me and thinks I am my own person and i should be treated like my own person”

- Pili

And that's where his journey ends.

Just a rough analysis and writing thoughts down of parallels some between Mocha and Pili. Mocha was best understood by Bad out of everyone else on the Realm. He knew Mocha had to kill and he wanted to survive and needed to do that. Bad has nothing to gain with helping red and he wasn't even a fan of red to begin with but Mocha was someone he was close to and he still misses that companionship. Also one of the reasons why he could never get along with Pili 2. He was different but also acted similarly but he still wasn't his Mocha.

On the other side we have Foolish whose faction suffered the most because of Mocha still immediately understood Pili 2’s situation and treated him like his own person since the start and later down the line even was willing to give a chance to him and let him join yellow. Even going against what the heart of the kingdom Ros wanted. It was a Kingly decision made solely by him and he was a right. Pili 2 was loyal to yellow. And let's not forget the three times Pili calling him older brother figure.

There is definitely something poetic in both those journeys. Mocha survived and tried to live and this death immortal helping him achieve that (he could have chosen not to help and the red faction would have not survived). He was someone Mocha owed his life to and wasn't mad when Bad accidentally took one of it. Mocha didn't push him away because he knew he could trust Bad, he wouldn't get hurt, he was a strong person in his eyes. He quite literally had a big part in Mocha's life from becoming what he did and even till the very end. Bad didn't care about the red faction but he cared about Mocha, and helping red did work in his favour since later down the line he got some red members in green.

“Pili 1 was the arbitrator of red faction” - Bad

Foolish was a very large part of Pili 2’s life. I genuinely sometimes sit down and think what would have happened if he hadn't been compassionate and open with him. He was the one person who always had Pili's back in his own way even going against what everyone was saying. He believed what Pili told him and was willing to take the risk and see where the road leads to and show he was right about trusting Pili, he was different from Mocha. This totem was the only person who treated him fairly and Pili also in return never took advantage of it, simply followed him. A strong pillar in Pili 2’s life. If it wasn't for this immortal inviting him to be part of his kingdom this little cursed immortal would have been very chaotic since even his will to go home had been broken by them.

A CHANCE, that's what Bad and Foolish both gave Mocha & Pili, and in the end neither of them regrets doing that risky gamble. It worked in their favour but also became emotionally closer and attached to this cursed Immortal.

And that's where the tale ends for now. A little cursed immortal quite literally stuck in a cycle of life and death finding ways to escape it. From being drawn to people who have a death aura surrounding them but also at the same time having that little will to live and live those happy moments at times (even if it comes at the expense of him getting manipulated or dying).