THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS COME TO.

*tastes potion like a chef testing the soup* hm. needs more eye of newt.

this is hilarious + its even funnier if u kno that eye of newt is probably mustard seed

so who else was today years old when they learned that “eye of newt” is mustard seed and not the literal eye of a newt or am i just dumb

no wonder my potions never work the way they should

Funny sports bloopers

it’s so weird not being friends with people that used to be really important to u like u never stop being reminded of them bc their personalities and sense of humor and so many little details about them will always be in ur brain like u could see something in a store and think “they would like that” or watch a video and think “they would think this is funny” or even just the most random shit will make u think of them and it’s such a weird feeling

I went to see Bo Burnham’s new live show and I brought my cat with me because, idk, it seemed like a good idea? So Bo was doing his comedy thing and all was good until he stopped mid-song and yelled to “put the lights up!” The audience was all. “Haha, okay maybe this is just part of his act,” but then he singled me out and asked, “Is that a cat in your lap?” I had no choice but to answer that it was because it was obvious and I was not going to LIE, everyone can see that it is a cat. It turned out that my cat had been sneaking off to Bo Burnham’s house every now and then and he thought it was a stray and he had gotten kinda attached so now Bo and I co-owned a cat together.

I’ve never been sadder to realise the blog