This Is Wasting My Time

We look at the skyline

Or better yet, let’s look at the ground

Because what we’re avoiding

Might just hide behind nostalgia

Using inexperienced hearts

Wearing them on each other’s sleeves

We embellished them with untested love

Presenting the power to decimate

Into each other’s hands

It’s better to be broken then it is to break

Don’t you know that’s how love works?

Hoarding a million memories

Terrified that at any moment we’d lose them

Proving the past was just a charade

Only empty and alone

Did we learned to give more than we take

Our boundaries were April fool’s jokes

Played on the wrong victim

As king’s jesters

Dressed to impress and misdirect

We found ourselves behind crumbling walls

Dumb founded looks across our faces

Doing the only thing we knew

And what we did best

We ran, as fast as we could

So when your sharp blue convictions

Flew away at 30000 feet

Still hearing the words

“I’ll see you in a few months”

I learned what a bad day really is

And how sweet an empty promise can taste

Finding myself alone

In the walls we tried so hard to make ours

I drowned my mind, body, and soul

In lost hours and shallow breathes

“How could you”

I asked darting shadows

As if I would of changed anything

Even if I could

From dried out delusional lips

Came the thousands of “I love you’s”

I was never qualified to express

So I look at the skyline

But I wish I could look you in the eyes

Because it’s been to long since I’ve seen

The damage untamed love can produce

Realizing how foreign honesty felt in my mouth

I caught the stale taste

From each word being left out far too long

Thank you for every broken promise

You built from blind faith

I thank you for being just as naive

Convincing ourselves we were fighting the world

So we wouldn’t dare fight each other

Desperation

Clouded any reasoning that might point to the blaring obvious

You see my heart beat stopped when it found concrete

After falling from an airline window

And as you found yourself stronger without me then with

The night in thrift store armor stopped stealing the battles

You so desperately needed to win alone

I no longer hide behind “I’ll save her’s” and “she needs me’s”

Because I can’t and you don’t

…

We look at different skylines now

While landing in different cities saved our lives

It killed everything we ever had

Or could

“Do great things”

Were some of the last words you spoke to me

I’m doing my best to make you proud

Because ever since the day you walked away

I’ve been proud of you