I am...

It’s okay to want to be on your own for a little while. It’s okay to want to spend your time selfishly, or to put your needs and wants before anyone else’s. It’s okay to be lazy, to be active, to over-work, to veg out in bed all weekend, to hang with friends, or to spend your nights doing whatever the hell you want to do – this is your life, and no one can tell you how to live it. We have such a negative perception of being alone, like ‘aloneness’ equates to loneliness. But it doesn’t have to. Being alone means being independent. It means knowing what you deserve and not settling. It means knowing what you want and not wasting time pursuing something that doesn’t grow you. It means finding your way in a world that’s chaotic and crazy and ever-changing. Being alone means being comfortable in your own skin. There’s nothing wrong with being alone. With waking up and making breakfast for one, with third-wheeling alongside your favorite couple friends, with going on long runs with only music and sunshine to keep you company. Stop worrying about when and where and how you’ll find your person. Stop feeling like you’re running out of time. Stop comparing your journey to everyone else’s and be happy where you are, right now. You’re doing just fine. And independence looks good on you.

To love an introvert —

Ask her questions. While you are used to filling the silence with your own anecdotes and her cough-like laugh, still make the effort to hear her stories. They won’t come easy. No, you will have to earn those whispered glimpses about her life before you. So when she speaks, listen. Ask follow-up questions and nod your head, cultivating her comfort with speaking to you like a glassblower and his art. Take care in her voice and you will find yourself with a rare, multi-colored vase of flowers, rather than an explosion of hot glass shattered on your tile floors, a possible masterpiece lost.

Touch her. Not in an aggressive, sexual manner, but in a tender “Remember, I’m here” kind of way.

When you fight, do not expect her to crack. Expect your yells to be met with pure silence. Her lack of retaliatory punches will not only hurt, but sting, like icy winds on mid-January mornings. If she says anything it will be in the form of a note: “You disappoint me” written in soft cursive on a post-it waiting on your pillow. Notice the unsteadiness of the hand that wrote those words, and apologize.

When she chooses to wear the red scarf instead of the seven other brown, black and grey ones hanging in the closet next to it, let her know how beautiful it is to see her in color. When her headphones are in and shoes are off, take the soft spot on the sofa next to her and ask what she’s listening to. When she’s looking out the window, try to see what she sees.

Do not, though, lose yourself for her. She may be slow to speak herself, but that doesn’t mean her ears don’t lust to inhale your words each morning at the breakfast table. While she may blush during R-rated movies, she still enjoys your crude jokes. You two are together to mend the distance between silence and noise, dark and light, and she knows that. Embrace the miscommunications and disagreements as part of the process, and live together as distinct entities that through divine intervention were still somehow made into corresponding shapes.

When you see her, smile.

One day you’re gonna meet someone who you don’t just want to spend the night with but who you look forward to waking up and sharing your morning with.

This person is different because there is gonna be one person that is able to break through the bullshit you sell to the world.

They look you in the eyes and know when you’re lying.

They look you in the eyes and know what you are thinking and feeling before you even say.

There’s a connection there you’ll never understand. But you’ll just be happy you met someone who can share in that.

And they’ll let you into their world, too.

You’ll talk about dreams and ambitions like you haven’t before. You’ll talk about disappointments and fears you didn’t even know of.

You talk about insecurities and mistakes and there before you is someone who doesn’t judge you for any of it.

There’s gonna be one person who breaks through every wall you have and you’re left with these raw emotions you didn’t even know you were capable of feeling.

And you’re gonna look at them knowing well they aren’t perfect. But regardless of that your flaws compliment each other in a way that it all makes sense.

You’ll realize one day you find yourself worrying when all you ever did in the past was worry about yourself.

You find yourself angry at the people who have done them wrong.

You find yourself feeling these things through another soul and while you can never take away their pain or the past its them you want in your future. When in the past all you ever thought about was your own future.

One day you realize if anything were to ever happen to them you’d be a mess. You realize they matter.

You realize they always have.

You realize they always will.

You find yourself remembering every little detail. From the first time you met and the first words they said.

And it surprises you because we go through motions in life seeing so many faces and having so many interactions but somehow you remember every detail of this one.

And it’s something no one will understand. But the thing is they don’t have to understand it. They don’t have to accept it or like it.

Cause you have.

Then you muster the courage to say three words and don’t hold back because for the first time you’re looking at someone with complete confidence.

One day you’re gonna meet someone who simply feels like home.

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